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Sun Nov 18, 2012, 03:54 PM

Should we have a discussion about adultery? [View all]

I'm posting this because of the recent salacious Broadwell/Petraeus affair, but also because I just saw the movie "The Descendants". (I know better late than never.)

The movie brings up some important points about adultery. 1) There are the betrayed spouses who don't have a clue. 2) There are children involved, who are innocent. 3) The fact that adulterous partners seldom end up with each other like Liz and Dick, or Angelina and Brad. Instead one is just having some illicit fun while the other wants to leave her spouse and family and break up her lover's family to be with him.

So it seems this affair between a married man with children, Petraeus, and a married woman with children, Broadwell, is following a familiar pattern although we don't know exactly the feelings that they had for each other, nor what their spouses or children knew.

My view is that adultery is usually bad behavior, however, I'm not so puritanical as to condemn everyone who has ever had an affair outside of marriage as evil sinners. My question is WHY do it? It's human to be attracted to a variety of potential mates, but our society pretty much defines the social contract of marriage as between two people and that those two people to be exclusive with each other. Yes, I know there are varieties of commitments that are mutually agreed upon, however, right now I'm talking about traditional marriage vows.

So it would seem to me that if you were committed to your marriage and you were tempted to stray, you would try to find out through therapy or talking to friends and even your spouse as to why you are feeling this way instead of just giving into your hormones talking. This would be especially important if there were children involved. Unless you are a scumbag, jumping in and out of the beds of others should be unacceptable behavior no matter how bad your marriage is.

My view is shouldn't you be taking steps to correct what is wrong in your marriage, maybe even ending it if that's where it leads to before you look around for a new mate? I just really find this game of musical beds disgusting when there are unsuspecting spouses and children involved. It's really immature behavior. I guess I'm particularly harrumphed about this because as a widow, in my seventies, I am getting hit on by other senior men who are married with children and grandchildren. I really can't believe it at my age, but I am truly disgusted.

To get back to the movie, apparently, the spouses and children all learn of the affair, one of the adulterers dies, they all have emotional periods of blow-ups and forgiveness and life goes on. But how does one go on after a life changing event like this? I really am curious what other DUers think about this

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Reply Should we have a discussion about adultery? [View all]
Cleita Nov 2012 OP
JustAnotherGen Nov 2012 #1
Fumesucker Nov 2012 #8
JustAnotherGen Nov 2012 #71
Fumesucker Nov 2012 #73
JustAnotherGen Nov 2012 #82
lunatica Nov 2012 #89
Fumesucker Nov 2012 #90
lunatica Nov 2012 #92
seabeyond Nov 2012 #2
Cleita Nov 2012 #10
Aerows Nov 2012 #93
DURHAM D Nov 2012 #3
Cleita Nov 2012 #13
DURHAM D Nov 2012 #21
Cleita Nov 2012 #26
liberal_at_heart Nov 2012 #19
DURHAM D Nov 2012 #24
liberal_at_heart Nov 2012 #28
ibegurpard Nov 2012 #4
glowing Nov 2012 #39
elleng Nov 2012 #5
dchill Nov 2012 #12
A HERETIC I AM Nov 2012 #35
grantcart Nov 2012 #46
Aerows Nov 2012 #95
Sekhmets Daughter Nov 2012 #6
Cleita Nov 2012 #16
Sekhmets Daughter Nov 2012 #40
Cleita Nov 2012 #48
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treestar Nov 2012 #80
Sekhmets Daughter Nov 2012 #83
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Sekhmets Daughter Nov 2012 #88
Drale Nov 2012 #7
JDPriestly Nov 2012 #47
Cleita Nov 2012 #51
Faygo Kid Nov 2012 #9
Cleita Nov 2012 #17
liberal_at_heart Nov 2012 #22
Cleita Nov 2012 #58
liberal_at_heart Nov 2012 #11
lalalu Nov 2012 #14
Cleita Nov 2012 #18
yourout Nov 2012 #15
Cleita Nov 2012 #20
yourout Nov 2012 #81
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Warpy Nov 2012 #25
aletier_v Nov 2012 #32
liberal_at_heart Nov 2012 #42
riderinthestorm Nov 2012 #74
Cleita Nov 2012 #33
seabeyond Nov 2012 #38
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MadrasT Nov 2012 #65
LadyHawkAZ Nov 2012 #68
Horse with no Name Nov 2012 #27
Faygo Kid Nov 2012 #29
Horse with no Name Nov 2012 #31
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Cleita Nov 2012 #30
argiel1234 Nov 2012 #34
Cleita Nov 2012 #36
argiel1234 Nov 2012 #53
liberal_at_heart Nov 2012 #37
argiel1234 Nov 2012 #55
bluestate10 Nov 2012 #52
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Cleita Nov 2012 #45
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bluestate10 Nov 2012 #62
Major Nikon Nov 2012 #76
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marions ghost Nov 2012 #66
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cherokeeprogressive Nov 2012 #67
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BlueMan Votes Nov 2012 #72
broiles Nov 2012 #78
HiPointDem Nov 2012 #79
marions ghost Nov 2012 #85
DemocratSinceBirth Nov 2012 #84
marions ghost Nov 2012 #86
Aerows Nov 2012 #94
Egalitarian Thug Nov 2012 #91