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Tue Nov 13, 2012, 05:24 PM

Nation Horrified To Learn About War in Afghanistan While Reading Up on Petraeus Sex Scandal [View all]

Last edited Tue Nov 13, 2012, 06:08 PM - Edit history (1)

http://www.theonion.com/articles/nation-horrified-to-learn-about-war-in-afghanistan,30367/

Nation Horrified To Learn About War In Afghanistan While Reading Up On Petraeus Sex Scandal
NOVEMBER 13, 2012 | ISSUE 48•46

Sources: Petraeus Knew About Affair For More Than A Year
WASHINGTON—As they scoured the Internet for more juicy details about former CIA director David Petraeus’ affair with biographer Paula Broadwell, Americans were reportedly horrified today upon learning that a protracted, bloody war involving U.S. forces is currently raging in the nation of Afghanistan. “Oh my God, this is terrible,” Allie Lipscomb, 29, said after accidentally stumbling on an article about the war while she tried to ascertain details about what specific sexual acts Petraeus and Broadwell might have engaged in. “According to this, 2,000 American troops have died, 18,000 have been wounded, and more than 20,000 civilians have been killed. Jesus Christ. And it’s been happening for, like, 11 years.” Sources confirmed that after reading a few paragraphs about the brutal war, the nation quickly became distracted by a headline about Elmo puppeteer Kevin Clash’s alleged sexual abuse of a 16-year-old boy.

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Reply Nation Horrified To Learn About War in Afghanistan While Reading Up on Petraeus Sex Scandal [View all]
Hissyspit Nov 2012 OP
flamingdem Nov 2012 #1
leftstreet Nov 2012 #2
alcibiades_mystery Nov 2012 #3
Poll_Blind Nov 2012 #4
joeybee12 Nov 2012 #5
Tx4obama Nov 2012 #6
rhett o rick Nov 2012 #7
FailureToCommunicate Nov 2012 #8
defacto7 Nov 2012 #9
geckosfeet Nov 2012 #10
madinmaryland Nov 2012 #16
Hissyspit Nov 2012 #18
Scalded Nun Nov 2012 #23
Selatius Nov 2012 #31
Blue_Tires Nov 2012 #33
azurnoir Nov 2012 #11
AnotherMcIntosh Nov 2012 #12
Stryder Nov 2012 #13
SpartanDem Nov 2012 #14
nadinbrzezinski Nov 2012 #15
rudycantfail Nov 2012 #17
libdem4life Nov 2012 #19
lunatica Nov 2012 #21
Hissyspit Nov 2012 #20
Hissyspit Nov 2012 #22
navarth Nov 2012 #24
russspeakeasy Nov 2012 #25
OnyxCollie Nov 2012 #26
Liberal_in_LA Nov 2012 #27
Scruffy Rumbler Nov 2012 #28
Jim__ Nov 2012 #29
Puregonzo1188 Nov 2012 #30
Blue_Tires Nov 2012 #32