“This election was yours to lose — 8 percent unemployment, five-dollar gas, I even gave you a one-debate head start and on top of that, I’m black. But you still couldn’t take me on.”
“Watching you run for president was like watching someone on roller skates trying to climb stairs. I also want to thank all those Republican congressmen who couldn’t stop talking about rape. Couldn’t help yourself could you?”
“Republicans, you don’t want to talk about immigration reform? OK. The number of older white men in the country is shrinking. Meanwhile, a Hispanic gay woman is born every eight seconds."
"Boehner says he won’t agree to a tax rate increase of any kind? Fine, you want to be unreasonable, come on, let’s be unreasonable. How about I start here: The military? Gone. If you want to go to war with Iran, you’re going to have to send in Ted Nugent.”