3. Mitt Romney’s Orgy of Creative Self-Destruction
Mitt Romney’s Orgy of Creative Self-Destruction
September 22, 2012
by Mobutu Sese Seko
God preserve you if you have any idea what's happening inside Mitt Romney's brain. After a week that was already the worst of his campaign, it's as if the man said, "Oh, yeah? Watch this," and pulled back the hyperdumb levers of his magical farting machine, the Mittlennium Fuckup.
The Romney campaign not only appears determined to go nowhere but to do it as quickly as possible. It is the fastest hunk of junk in the political galaxy. All Romney had to do was withhold information, as was his wont for almost everything else during the campaign, and he'd have been fine. His plan on Iran or Afghanistan? Just you wait until after the election. How he'd close the over $10 trillion hole in his budget by via ending tax loopholes? Just you wait. Repeal and replace Obamacare? With what??? Just you wait.
But his tax returns—the things most non-wonks had forgotten about—well, we needed a steaming heap of those to change the narrative of his steaming heap of a week. On Friday, we got them.
Unless he faced a dubious leak from Anonymous or some political reincarnation of Nixon's plumbers, Romney could have foreseen no guaranteed upside to this release. The time to cough up the tax returns passed after the GOP debates and real primary contest ended.