General Discussion

1StrongBlackMan

(31,849 posts)

36. I get so tired of the ...

Thu Aug 30, 2012, 07:47 PM

Aug 2012

"If you have a penis; you must be a rapist"/"most men aren't rapist" memes.

Can anyone trotting out that/those lines, honestly, say that they do not know someone (male) who has:

1) "Talked his way in" over her objections? e.g., "Come on baby. If you love me you'll let me." (RAPIST)
2) Simply continued after she said no (for the 1-1,500th time) and stopped moving your hand out of her pants. (RAPIST)
3) Took liberties with some female that they knew was just on this side of unconscious? (RAPIST)
4) Joined in at that party where there was that one girl in the backroom and 15 guys? And strangely, she's not saying a word. (RAPIST)

The message of this OP is NOT directed to or at the vast majority of men. Get over it and Get over yourself.

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sexual assault prevention tips for men--guaranteed to work [View all] niyad Aug 2012 OP

Thanks. But we already know that upaloopa Aug 2012 #1

thank you for saying that - I was somewhat taken aback by a reminder to "not rape her" DrDan Aug 2012 #2

This is the poster from the UK REP Aug 2012 #60

thank you for posting this one niyad Aug 2012 #75

yeah, write that on your hand or a yellow sticky note arely staircase Sep 2012 #223

do you think it is okay to have all the rape prevention tips the responsibility of women? niyad Aug 2012 #3

Sexism isn't OK regardless of which way it cuts Major Nikon Sep 2012 #197

and I am "just sayin" that it is absolutelyfascinating to me that when sexism is directed at women niyad Sep 2012 #201

actually a few of the loudest on the thread are the ones that perpetrate it on du, and certainly seabeyond Sep 2012 #204

a distinction too subtle for some, apparently niyad Sep 2012 #208

When one buys into fringe ideas like 'male gaze', patriarchal conspiracies, and so forth... Major Nikon Sep 2012 #213

I was kinda thinking it's more accurate to say the reverse is true Major Nikon Sep 2012 #211

so very generous of you to allow that women MIGHT have called out sexism directed at men on Du niyad Sep 2012 #212

If you think sexism is OK one direction but not the other Major Nikon Sep 2012 #214

ah, you are sooo cute. pointing out the realities on this board is not, to your way of seeing thing niyad Sep 2012 #219

Just like rape prevention 'tips' are insulting to women Matariki Aug 2012 #4

Of course it is Confusious Aug 2012 #26

How about ... 1StrongBlackMan Aug 2012 #34

Yes, but that's not the feeling I get from the OP Confusious Aug 2012 #39

Why do you claim ... 1StrongBlackMan Aug 2012 #56

I am a man Confusious Aug 2012 #65

As a man, I don't read it that way at all - I'm no more insulted by this advice than I petronius Aug 2012 #71

It's just another in a long list of threads Confusious Aug 2012 #82

hey, buddy, it's not all about you. CTyankee Aug 2012 #85

Yes that was my entire point Confusious Aug 2012 #140

Oh good god. Zoeisright Aug 2012 #111

Just try not to think about raping them... hughee99 Aug 2012 #136

wrong spot Confusious Aug 2012 #141

Yes that was my entire point Confusious Aug 2012 #151

NO the OP DID NOT say "ALL" men rape ... 1StrongBlackMan Aug 2012 #108

Maybe you could have it sent to you Confusious Aug 2012 #139

The title of OP addresses it to "men," not men who rape. DirkGently Aug 2012 #159

And the problem with this OP is that rapists will ignore the advice and non-rapists don't need itl sabrina 1 Aug 2012 #170

worse... a geek named Bob Aug 2012 #171

really? do you think any decent human being would make that choice? cause really, seabeyond Aug 2012 #173

but they've already implied that I'm a geek named Bob Aug 2012 #174

no. that was not stated. that was not implied. and if you do not feel a need to help another seabeyond Aug 2012 #177

Like others on this thread have posted... a geek named Bob Aug 2012 #179

i didnt order anyone around. the article didnt accuse you of rape. there is reading comprehension seabeyond Aug 2012 #183

yup... a geek named Bob Aug 2012 #184

you post is totally left field made up stories not to be taken seriously. truly... whatever seabeyond Aug 2012 #185

Okay then a geek named Bob Aug 2012 #186

It's already become a problem . . . 4th law of robotics Sep 2012 #231

" least for men being unwilling to help children who are in danger in public." bullshit. seabeyond Sep 2012 #233

If you were told from the moment you could talk 4th law of robotics Sep 2012 #235

you are so far out there, reality doesnt exist for you. seabeyond Sep 2012 #236

All men have . . . 4th law of robotics Sep 2012 #237

not realize that societal assumptions for men in public near children are different seabeyond Sep 2012 #238

Good, I'm glad you realized that my statement was correct 4th law of robotics Sep 2012 #239

games... you prefer games. done. didnt even bother with the mess of your post seabeyond Sep 2012 #240

I'm noticing a trend 4th law of robotics Sep 2012 #241

yes. good. play games, i dont waste my time. seabeyond Sep 2012 #242

You don't like to have to back up your assertions do you? 4th law of robotics Sep 2012 #243

Yes. problem is the passive CONDONING of rape too. alp227 Aug 2012 #176

May I suggest that you need to meet a better class of men. a geek named Bob Aug 2012 #180

There are men who have that attitude, our entire culture is violent, so it's no wonder that sabrina 1 Aug 2012 #187

Agree, Sabrina. polly7 Sep 2012 #234

Sad to see RWTP adapted here. alp227 Aug 2012 #175

It's not about guilt Confusious Sep 2012 #193

Absolute BS. 1monster Sep 2012 #202

Nope Confusious Sep 2012 #216

I am guessing the OP was meant to be provocative GObamaGO Sep 2012 #215

I have a long history of ignoring things like that Confusious Sep 2012 #218

This is the poster from which the text came: REP Aug 2012 #63

If they were trying to be humorous Confusious Aug 2012 #69

I imagine we often see (or feel) only those things which better validate LanternWaste Aug 2012 #88

Repeat from down below Confusious Aug 2012 #156

I have a penis OriginalGeek Aug 2012 #172

Just a long line in threads Confusious Sep 2012 #194

Nobody I know IRL has ever told me that. OriginalGeek Sep 2012 #199

A straw man Confusious Sep 2012 #217

Yes, that happened and it was wrong OriginalGeek Sep 2012 #220

"but it didn't happen to you." 4th law of robotics Sep 2012 #245

I don't believe you've ever made a post that claimed injury OriginalGeek Sep 2012 #246

The OP isn't particularly specific 4th law of robotics Sep 2012 #247

You can feel that way if you want OriginalGeek Sep 2012 #249

Fair enough 4th law of robotics Sep 2012 #250

Oh eww, I didn't see that OriginalGeek Sep 2012 #252

One doesn't need a penis to be a rapist mythology Aug 2012 #74

How about... lapislzi Aug 2012 #87

Nobody said that. Anywhere. Matariki Aug 2012 #72

Like I said before Confusious Aug 2012 #83

Are you trying to repress something you did? alp227 Aug 2012 #178

Would you make this comment a geek named Bob Aug 2012 #181

Could I find another thread Confusious Sep 2012 #198

You are essentially saying that you are attacking innocent people so that they'll know how you feel. Romulox Aug 2012 #99

+1 nt arely staircase Sep 2012 #244

So advice to lock my door at night caseymoz Sep 2012 #254

It was requested by posters in this thread: polly7 Aug 2012 #5

Even if you're not a rapist, it's very possible you know one. Brickbat Aug 2012 #6

This OP is disgusting in my opinion upaloopa Aug 2012 #10

in that case, I am sure you find all rape prevention "tips" aimed at women, as though rape were niyad Aug 2012 #11

You continue the insults. Why? You don't get to define anyone based on your understanding upaloopa Aug 2012 #14

please show me where I am insulting you niyad Aug 2012 #31

Me thinks ... 1StrongBlackMan Aug 2012 #35

If he has nothing to hide Confusious Aug 2012 #48

And other times ... 1StrongBlackMan Aug 2012 #59

Really? Confusious Aug 2012 #67

then most DUrs are actually closet right wingers? arely staircase Sep 2012 #224

Where is THAT ... 1StrongBlackMan Sep 2012 #227

Yes I do find them offensive. upaloopa Aug 2012 #17

interesting. then how is it that there is no outrage expressed by you in this thread: niyad Aug 2012 #33

I guess we all have to express outrage Confusious Aug 2012 #49

I don't have to prove anything to you. I don't have to fit myself into our paradigm. upaloopa Aug 2012 #115

Rapists are criminals. The advice given to women is the same advice given to people sabrina 1 Aug 2012 #25

A lot of perps of acquaintance rape don't think what they did is rape. Odin2005 Aug 2012 #55

And how many of them are on the DU? Zalatix Aug 2012 #103

Some DUers think fucking a passed out drunk woman is A-OK. Odin2005 Aug 2012 #122

If we weren't such a "big tent" party they'd have been PPR'd. Zalatix Aug 2012 #138

No...if I recall... ProudToBeBlueInRhody Sep 2012 #206

Re: the criminality of rapists lapislzi Aug 2012 #104

Bingo ... 1StrongBlackMan Aug 2012 #112

Really? Would that be the elevator rape or the car repair rape? DirkGently Aug 2012 #157

Exactly. (nt) DirkGently Aug 2012 #167

That's not actually a fair analysis in any way. DirkGently Aug 2012 #149

"I don't need to tell my wife's male co-workers not to rape her." Brickbat Aug 2012 #37

If they are, a "reminder" won't help. Which is the fail here. DirkGently Aug 2012 #166

Here's is the UK poster REP Aug 2012 #61

A guy I went to school with was convicted of raping a 12yo girl... Odin2005 Aug 2012 #53

And ... 1StrongBlackMan Aug 2012 #114

You took it seriously? Webster Green Aug 2012 #8

You seem to be the only one who isn't taking it seriously. Amazing! upaloopa Aug 2012 #15

We weren't supposed to? n/t lumberjack_jeff Aug 2012 #18

from my experience unreadierLizard Aug 2012 #13

The OP doesn't lump all men together Matariki Aug 2012 #16

Sorry, that's the feeling I got Confusious Aug 2012 #28

I suppose basing one's entire premise on simply a "feeling" LanternWaste Aug 2012 #92

No, it's based on a long list of threads around here Confusious Aug 2012 #142

It's addressed to "men." And the premise is dishonest. DirkGently Aug 2012 #164

You're 20/Canadian? Hi I am a 21 yo American man alp227 Aug 2012 #182

Hmm I think that's the point gollygee Aug 2012 #24

tips given to women and men and everyone on how to stay safe shouldn't offend anyone. arely staircase Sep 2012 #248

You obviously didn't see what this thread was responding to gollygee Sep 2012 #251

I suspect ... 1StrongBlackMan Aug 2012 #32

Yep. Iggo Aug 2012 #41

my 14 yr old son thought funny. he knows the rules we put on females. he recognized it was seabeyond Aug 2012 #50

It's Satirizing the "Blame the Victim" mentality... Odin2005 Aug 2012 #47

That's the way I read it both in this thread hifiguy Aug 2012 #64

I think some misogynist men doth protest too much. Odin2005 Aug 2012 #90

Given that this is DU, I think that is a rather overbroad hifiguy Aug 2012 #105

Just to expand on this unreadierLizard Sep 2012 #192

Except it fails because all crime prevention falls to the victim. DirkGently Aug 2012 #169

Yeah, I thought the same deutsey Sep 2012 #228

Its really good to see we don't stereotype based on gender in this forum. aaaaaa5a Aug 2012 #7

12. Don't get sent to prison. nt kelly1mm Aug 2012 #9

For some reason, that kind of rape isn't counted. nt Romulox Aug 2012 #97

DOJ statistics for 2009, rape/sexual assaults, male victims 19,820, female victims 106,100. kelly1mm Aug 2012 #116

That number doesn't include prison rape. The DOJ estimates about 216,000 prison rapes in 2008, Romulox Aug 2012 #119

I agree. Even without prison rape, the % of rape/sexual assault victims that are male is over 15%. kelly1mm Aug 2012 #123

Sufficient beer usually works too. Even if you DO get a woman to go out to your car, you're useless HopeHoops Aug 2012 #12

get him really drunk. oh HH, you never disappoint. lol. nt seabeyond Aug 2012 #52

Why thank you. (taking bows). On a more serious note, my wife was slipped a mickie once. HopeHoops Aug 2012 #84

ya... well hey seabeyond Aug 2012 #86

I know. We've gone around on that. I like to joke, but I'm very pro-woman. HopeHoops Aug 2012 #91

. seabeyond Aug 2012 #94

(giggle) - Using a period for the title line is difficult to zero in on. Two or three are easier. HopeHoops Aug 2012 #106

thank you for letting me know. i hadnt thought of that. seabeyond Aug 2012 #107

Yeah, we're sort of stuck being what we are. Oh well. HopeHoops Aug 2012 #113

Make sure your partner is enthusiastically calling "yes!" often. RadiationTherapy Aug 2012 #19

here is the pic that you were trying to post, someone posted in other thread Liberal_in_LA Aug 2012 #20

I like this better. No mention of gender Matariki Aug 2012 #21

thanks, I wasn't able to do it niyad Aug 2012 #30

niyad Matariki Aug 2012 #73

That's called 'hotlinking' and is very frowned upon by a great many websites. Occulus Aug 2012 #117

now i like this one arely staircase Sep 2012 #226

I'm assuming you meant well posting this, but it doesn't help. bluesbassman Aug 2012 #22

I have always thought that rape prevention tips for women... MicaelS Aug 2012 #23

We deserve the advice , being we've never got a handle orpupilofnature57 Aug 2012 #27

Damn. I thought this OP was about how men could prevent getting raped. panader0 Aug 2012 #29

I get so tired of the ... 1StrongBlackMan Aug 2012 #36

Your list Confusious Aug 2012 #46

Okay ... 1StrongBlackMan Aug 2012 #58

You can call bullshit all you want Confusious Aug 2012 #66

Hold up ... 1StrongBlackMan Aug 2012 #76

"I never accused you of doing anything." I disagree Confusious Aug 2012 #81

Please seek help ... 1StrongBlackMan Aug 2012 #110

No, I pointed why it bothers me Confusious Aug 2012 #143

I. neither, ignored nor do not understand your point ... 1StrongBlackMan Sep 2012 #189

Becuase someone keeps saying Confusious Sep 2012 #195

No ... 1StrongBlackMan Sep 2012 #221

How do you expect *I* would know what was said/done between two people in a sexual encounter? Romulox Aug 2012 #95

because all men rape, and then we tell our buddies Confusious Aug 2012 #144

This is insulting to men. Alduin Aug 2012 #38

<>=<> orpupilofnature57 Aug 2012 #42

I completely agree. Texasgal Aug 2012 #43

The writer wasn't referring to all men, just rapists. Cleita Aug 2012 #44

Yes, some here seem to know Confusious Aug 2012 #45

So rapists post on DU? Alduin Aug 2012 #57

How many people are on DU? gollygee Aug 2012 #62

No, not an impossiblity Confusious Aug 2012 #68

If you're a man, you're a potential rapist. Alduin Aug 2012 #78

Much like, "if you're a gun owner, you can potentially murder someone..." LanternWaste Aug 2012 #93

Not so much. hifiguy Aug 2012 #102

I don't know why but some men seem to be insecure liberal_at_heart Aug 2012 #79

You're not "calling out rapists"; rapists don't care about the list. Sensitive, caring men do. nt Romulox Aug 2012 #96

you are right, not to rapist. to people that give a list to women how they should prevent rape. seabeyond Aug 2012 #101

Nobody here gave anyone a list, except the one insinuating all men are rapists. It's lashing out at Romulox Aug 2012 #120

no it is not. it is a point of view dealing with an issue that is not directed at anyone specific seabeyond Aug 2012 #124

If I started a thread: "Women LIE!", all hell would break loose. Then I could sit back and say, Romulox Aug 2012 #125

you still do not seem to be understand the point of the piece. and how it seabeyond Aug 2012 #126

The connection is that you would complain bitterly if I smeared all women that way. You wouldn't Romulox Aug 2012 #128

this is not about some men or rape. what you are not getting. it is about people that tell women seabeyond Aug 2012 #132

None of that is in the OP. It seems we have to add several PARAGRAPHS to get the "true" meaning. Romulox Aug 2012 #133

each one of the suggestions on the list is a TWIST to what women are told. whistle. seabeyond Aug 2012 #134

I understand all of that. It still doesn't make it ok to smear male DUers, because somebody told Romulox Aug 2012 #135

what YOU do not want to get, apparently, is that rape is a serious issue, and, whether you like it niyad Aug 2012 #137

how about this. men, prevent wife from psychically abusing you. seabeyond Aug 2012 #130

I've never seen a post anything like that on DU. So I don't understand what you're trying to say. nt Romulox Aug 2012 #131

I'm sorry we just see it differently liberal_at_heart Sep 2012 #196

So what? Brigid Aug 2012 #98

Some women are rapists. Alduin Aug 2012 #118

99% of the offenders being male and 1% of the offenders being female. seabeyond Aug 2012 #150

The numbers don't matter. Alduin Aug 2012 #165

really? numbers do not matter? wow. nt seabeyond Aug 2012 #168

I dispute this claim: "The onus should be on men to deal...". That's false. I'm not the police. Romulox Aug 2012 #121

I love that list. Iggo Aug 2012 #40

i love that you love that list. says something. nt seabeyond Aug 2012 #54

Furthermore: XemaSab Aug 2012 #51

None for me, thanks. 99Forever Aug 2012 #70

I love it! +1 liberal_at_heart Aug 2012 #77

lingerie football thread? slutticus Aug 2012 #80

it was in an OP titled "sexual assault prevention tips-don't dress like a whore" niyad Aug 2012 #100

OK, that's a scary thread slutticus Aug 2012 #162

Yeah I'll try to remember that Union Scribe Aug 2012 #89

I hear you, brother! unreadierLizard Aug 2012 #109

One of the possible issues... a geek named Bob Aug 2012 #158

I find it amazing . . . Brigid Aug 2012 #127

Nobody here on DU is "the perpetrators". That's where the conversation grinds to a halt. nt Romulox Aug 2012 #129

According to some, there are rapists amoung us Confusious Aug 2012 #145

Wow. Talk about a complete misrepresentation of what I said. gollygee Aug 2012 #154

I gave the link to your post Confusious Aug 2012 #160

Your "sarcastic version" was a huge misrepresentation gollygee Aug 2012 #161

That's sarcasm for you Confusious Aug 2012 #163

DURec. KG Aug 2012 #146

Brilliant! Blecht Aug 2012 #147

indeed. some of the responses have proved very interesting niyad Aug 2012 #148

sad that it even needs to be stated or posted fascisthunter Aug 2012 #152

deja vu.. d_b Aug 2012 #153

I understand it was trying to be humorous. I'm not one to get into poltical correctedness, but as Proles Aug 2012 #155

Great stuff. This should be extended to other crimes, too. Nye Bevan Aug 2012 #188

. Iggo Sep 2012 #232

I still am trying to find a GOP dirtbag that can elaborate Rex Sep 2012 #190

if you ever find out, please let us know niyad Sep 2012 #191

I think it's what Whoopi Goldberg refers to as "rape-rape". Nye Bevan Sep 2012 #200

Hmm Panasonic Sep 2012 #203

Where's number 12? This is DU after all.... ProudToBeBlueInRhody Sep 2012 #205

colour me surprised niyad Sep 2012 #207

Satire? ProudToBeBlueInRhody Sep 2012 #209

one would not think so, given some of the responses niyad Sep 2012 #210

Seems like there should be something about porn too 4th law of robotics Sep 2012 #230

this is hilarious arely staircase Sep 2012 #222

and if you do forget and actually rape someone arely staircase Sep 2012 #225

Gang-based crime prevention tips for blacks/hispanics--guaranteed to work! 4th law of robotics Sep 2012 #229

While you're giving advice like that . . . caseymoz Sep 2012 #253