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Tue Apr 10, 2012, 07:39 PM

"Male congressmen now being inundated with handmade vaginas" <--- actual headline

In the latest brilliant counterstrike against the GOP's Vag Offensive, The Snatchel Project is encouraging craftswomen to send their congressmen knit and crocheted bags, pouches and decorations in the shape of their favorite ladyparts. Nothing scares a gynophobic congressman like when they open a box and discover what they think is a constituent's lovely knit hat or scarf, only to pick it up and realize they've touched their hands upon the filthy, evil uterus they've been fighting so hard to destroy. The site includes patterns and links to teach you how to use your knitting needles to make your own womb (while knitting needles are still used for just knitting).

The rest: http://www.happyplace.com/14939/male-congressmen-now-being-inundated-with-knit-and-crocheted-vaginas



I love everyone.

82 replies, 14749 views

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Reply "Male congressmen now being inundated with handmade vaginas" <--- actual headline (Original post)
WilliamPitt Apr 2012 OP
Skinner Apr 2012 #1
dmr Apr 2012 #22
kag Apr 2012 #33
Sarah Ibarruri Apr 2012 #53
BlancheSplanchnik Apr 2012 #61
Warpy Apr 2012 #2
K Gardner Apr 2012 #7
knitter4democracy Apr 2012 #18
pansypoo53219 Apr 2012 #28
Scuba Apr 2012 #31
NeverEnuff Apr 2012 #3
surrealAmerican Apr 2012 #8
duhneece Apr 2012 #9
Tanelorn Apr 2012 #16
Sarah Ibarruri Apr 2012 #55
surrealAmerican Apr 2012 #59
Sarah Ibarruri Apr 2012 #60
beac Apr 2012 #12
pinboy3niner Apr 2012 #4
saras Apr 2012 #23
AlbertCat Apr 2012 #41
EFerrari Apr 2012 #47
spooky3 Apr 2012 #62
nadine_mn Apr 2012 #80
spooky3 Apr 2012 #81
tallahasseedem Apr 2012 #5
MineralMan Apr 2012 #6
Typical NYC Lib Apr 2012 #10
frogmarch Apr 2012 #13
bluesbassman Apr 2012 #15
frogmarch Apr 2012 #17
Typical NYC Lib Apr 2012 #26
frogmarch Apr 2012 #39
beac Apr 2012 #11
Auggie Apr 2012 #14
AnneD Apr 2012 #37
Liberalynn Apr 2012 #19
polichick Apr 2012 #20
cindyperry2010 Apr 2012 #21
sadfwesdfwe Apr 2012 #24
tblue37 Apr 2012 #25
DevonRex Apr 2012 #44
EFerrari Apr 2012 #48
redqueen Apr 2012 #58
Union Scribe Apr 2012 #27
Namvet67 Apr 2012 #29
AnneD Apr 2012 #38
Namvet67 Apr 2012 #64
spicegal Apr 2012 #30
Evasporque Apr 2012 #32
Sarah Ibarruri Apr 2012 #56
joshcryer Apr 2012 #34
intaglio Apr 2012 #35
Greybnk48 Apr 2012 #36
klook Apr 2012 #40
yellowcanine Apr 2012 #42
The Velveteen Ocelot Apr 2012 #43
yellowcanine Apr 2012 #46
alterfurz Apr 2012 #45
Atypical Liberal Apr 2012 #51
MichaelMcGuire Apr 2012 #49
radhika Apr 2012 #50
Sarah Ibarruri Apr 2012 #52
WCGreen Apr 2012 #54
AnneD Apr 2012 #65
redqueen Apr 2012 #57
CottonBear Apr 2012 #63
AnneD Apr 2012 #67
CottonBear Apr 2012 #68
kentauros Apr 2012 #70
CottonBear Apr 2012 #73
kentauros Apr 2012 #76
CottonBear Apr 2012 #82
AnneD Apr 2012 #74
kentauros Apr 2012 #75
AnneD Apr 2012 #77
kentauros Apr 2012 #78
AnneD Apr 2012 #79
AnneD Apr 2012 #72
guitar man Apr 2012 #66
MadrasT Apr 2012 #69
LineLineNew Reply .
WilliamPitt Apr 2012 #71

Response to WilliamPitt (Original post)

Tue Apr 10, 2012, 07:41 PM

1. Love it.

"Nothing scares a gynophobic congressman like when they open a box and discover what they think is a constituent's lovely knit hat or scarf, only to pick it up and realize they've touched their hands upon the filthy, evil uterus they've been fighting so hard to destroy."

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Response to Skinner (Reply #1)

Tue Apr 10, 2012, 10:20 PM

22. I crocheted 5 & mailed them out. I gave them

faces, & the eyes had a single crystal-like tear drop.

I stuffed them with condoms (unused).

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Response to dmr (Reply #22)

Wed Apr 11, 2012, 08:28 AM

33. Nice going!

I wish I was that creative.

Faces

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Response to dmr (Reply #22)

Wed Apr 11, 2012, 05:27 PM

53. You go girl! nt

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Response to dmr (Reply #22)

Wed Apr 11, 2012, 07:36 PM

61. brill!

tear drops & condoms ------ you rule!

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Response to WilliamPitt (Original post)

Tue Apr 10, 2012, 07:42 PM

2. Don't piss off the knitters.

I hang out mostly on the leftward side of the boards, but even mixed boards on technique have been posting this one.

Women are angry about this stuff. It's finally come all the way home to them what Republicans are up to.

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Response to Warpy (Reply #2)

Tue Apr 10, 2012, 08:01 PM

7. LOL ! I had lunch with a Catholic Knitter today. Ima gonna hafta ask her what she was

knitting.. the yarn was pink !

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Response to Warpy (Reply #2)

Tue Apr 10, 2012, 09:24 PM

18. We're a force to be reckoned with, that's for sure.

We're everywhere, and we tend to be fairly vocal on-line as well as consistent voters.

The KIA (Knitting Intelligence Agency) has far-reaching powers, and honestly, you don't want to set it off. Not smart.

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Response to Warpy (Reply #2)

Wed Apr 11, 2012, 02:56 AM

28. i went into a charlottesville, va yarn shop + limbaugh was on.

i did not buy any yarn THERE.

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Response to Warpy (Reply #2)

Wed Apr 11, 2012, 06:59 AM

31. As seen in Madison last spring...

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Response to WilliamPitt (Original post)

Tue Apr 10, 2012, 07:50 PM

3. Male who wants to learn to crochet

Where can I get a pattern?

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Response to NeverEnuff (Reply #3)

Tue Apr 10, 2012, 08:14 PM

8. This page contains links to both knit and crochet patterns:

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Response to surrealAmerican (Reply #8)

Tue Apr 10, 2012, 08:25 PM

9. It's worth learning to knit

or crochet.

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Response to duhneece (Reply #9)

Tue Apr 10, 2012, 09:19 PM

16. WOW these knitters are really pissed off

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Response to surrealAmerican (Reply #8)

Wed Apr 11, 2012, 05:28 PM

55. Those uteri rock! nt

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Response to Sarah Ibarruri (Reply #55)

Wed Apr 11, 2012, 06:13 PM

59. That, I've seen before:

It was published on Knitty in 2004. Here it is:

http://knitty.com/ISSUEwinter04/PATTwomb.html

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Response to surrealAmerican (Reply #59)

Wed Apr 11, 2012, 06:15 PM

60. Too funny. I'm going to try to crochet a uterus with ovaries. nt

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Response to NeverEnuff (Reply #3)

Tue Apr 10, 2012, 09:00 PM

12. FYI, there are lots of videos on youtube to help you learn the basic crochet stiches.

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Response to WilliamPitt (Original post)

Tue Apr 10, 2012, 07:55 PM

4. Whoever has it ought to send 'Marie's Sculpture' from 'Everybody Loves Raymond'



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Response to pinboy3niner (Reply #4)

Tue Apr 10, 2012, 10:22 PM

23. There are SO MANY sculptures like that

 

It's like there was a whole school of sculpture - "elegantly dismembered body parts". There's a few at the school I go to, more in a couple of sculpture gardens, one on my neighbor's path...

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Response to pinboy3niner (Reply #4)

Wed Apr 11, 2012, 01:15 PM

41. Whoever has it ought to send 'Marie's Sculpture' from 'Everybody Loves Raymond'

How about some Georgia O'Keefe paintings too.







(I once heard someone "complain" O'Keefe's paintings looked like genitalia. I said "They ARE genitalia! What the hell do you think a flower is?")

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Response to AlbertCat (Reply #41)

Wed Apr 11, 2012, 04:18 PM

47. LOL

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Response to AlbertCat (Reply #41)

Wed Apr 11, 2012, 10:05 PM

62. Someone should send these boys Glade Sense & Spray

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Response to spooky3 (Reply #62)

Mon Apr 16, 2012, 10:50 AM

80. I thought I was the only one who noticed it

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Response to nadine_mn (Reply #80)

Mon Apr 16, 2012, 03:20 PM

81. I'm sure we're not the only ones.

It's a very bizarre product design.

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Response to WilliamPitt (Original post)

Tue Apr 10, 2012, 07:58 PM

5. I remember reading an article

about this over at Kos when they were first starting this! I was soooo jealous because the only thing I can knit is a scarf! Maybe it's time for me to learn a bit more!

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Response to WilliamPitt (Original post)

Tue Apr 10, 2012, 07:59 PM

6. Sweet!

A perfect idea.

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Response to WilliamPitt (Original post)

Tue Apr 10, 2012, 08:26 PM

10. The creepy thing is.....

 

he might USE them!

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Response to Typical NYC Lib (Reply #10)

Tue Apr 10, 2012, 09:03 PM

13. I was thinking the same thing! UGH!

Didn't we used to have a puke smiley?

EDIT: Where'd you find the puke smiley?

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Response to frogmarch (Reply #13)

Tue Apr 10, 2012, 09:19 PM

15. Just type :puke:

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Response to bluesbassman (Reply #15)

Tue Apr 10, 2012, 09:22 PM

17. Thanks!

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Response to frogmarch (Reply #17)

Wed Apr 11, 2012, 12:54 AM

26. On the Smilies tab

 

Click on the very last one you see, "..." It'll open another set of icons, including

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Response to Typical NYC Lib (Reply #26)

Wed Apr 11, 2012, 09:33 AM

39. Thank you! I'd wondered

Last edited Wed Apr 11, 2012, 10:20 AM - Edit history (1)

why "..." was in with the smileys. I thought, What? People can't just type ... themselves?

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Response to WilliamPitt (Original post)

Tue Apr 10, 2012, 08:59 PM

11. Heard about a similar way to "needle" the neanderthals right here on DU last month:

http://www.democraticunderground.com/1032221

Now also includes a pattern for those who prefer to sew rather than knit/crochet.

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Response to WilliamPitt (Original post)

Tue Apr 10, 2012, 09:16 PM

14. Wow:

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Response to Auggie (Reply #14)

Wed Apr 11, 2012, 09:24 AM

37. Love the use...

of the fun fur. So creative.

Just the thought of sending one to John Cornyn is enough to make me drop the current project for this one!

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Response to WilliamPitt (Original post)

Tue Apr 10, 2012, 09:26 PM

19. So creative and clever

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Response to WilliamPitt (Original post)

Tue Apr 10, 2012, 10:12 PM

20. Bwaahaaahaha!

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Response to WilliamPitt (Original post)

Tue Apr 10, 2012, 10:18 PM

21. And here i thought you were

making it up good for them

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Response to WilliamPitt (Original post)

Tue Apr 10, 2012, 10:36 PM

24. Spam deleted by gkhouston (MIR Team)

 

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Response to WilliamPitt (Original post)

Tue Apr 10, 2012, 11:40 PM

25. That quote seems to conflate the vagina and the womb (uterus), as though they

are the same part of the body. They are not.

The website with the knitting and crocheting patterns has patterns for both uteruses and vulvas, BTW:
http://www.governmentfreevjj.com/

Also, the Republicans are not seeking to destroy the uterus or the vagina. They are seeking to dominate and control women and their uteruses and vaginas.

I do wish people would use language more carefully.

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Response to tblue37 (Reply #25)

Wed Apr 11, 2012, 04:01 PM

44. That bothered me, too.

Pretty obvious what it is and what it isn't, isn't it? Words do matter.

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Response to tblue37 (Reply #25)

Wed Apr 11, 2012, 04:20 PM

48. Maybe we should send our offerings in crocheted padlocked cages.

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Response to tblue37 (Reply #25)

Wed Apr 11, 2012, 05:38 PM

58. +1

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Response to WilliamPitt (Original post)

Wed Apr 11, 2012, 12:56 AM

27. Favorite. Story. Ever.

I'm bookmarking this so hard my mouse is gonna break.

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Response to WilliamPitt (Original post)

Wed Apr 11, 2012, 06:20 AM

29. this puts the "crotch" in crochet......come on...it's close enough

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Response to Namvet67 (Reply #29)

Wed Apr 11, 2012, 09:27 AM

38. No offense to my....

crocheting sister, but I always did refer to it as crotching. Mom always laughs. She crochets and I knit.

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Response to AnneD (Reply #38)

Thu Apr 12, 2012, 03:00 PM

64. hahahahaha

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Response to WilliamPitt (Original post)

Wed Apr 11, 2012, 06:54 AM

30. Love it!

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Response to WilliamPitt (Original post)

Wed Apr 11, 2012, 07:05 AM

32. ALEC has a law banning the mailing of vaginas ready

gOP to introduce Lady Parts Freedom Bill.....

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Response to Evasporque (Reply #32)

Wed Apr 11, 2012, 05:30 PM

56. LOL!! nt

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Response to WilliamPitt (Original post)

Wed Apr 11, 2012, 08:31 AM

34. That's wonderful.

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Response to WilliamPitt (Original post)

Wed Apr 11, 2012, 08:47 AM

35. My Sigoth has just pointed out "Do not p!$& off knitters ..."

"...They have sharp needles"

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Response to WilliamPitt (Original post)

Wed Apr 11, 2012, 08:49 AM

36. I'v knit uteri, but have thought about doing some vaginas as well.

The patterns are at the snatchel website. The snatchel itself is hilarious.

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Response to WilliamPitt (Original post)

Wed Apr 11, 2012, 10:04 AM

40. Let's all chip in and buy him an Edsel.



It has a vaginal grille, and the car fits perfectly with the Republican 1950s sensibility.

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Response to WilliamPitt (Original post)

Wed Apr 11, 2012, 01:29 PM

42. They need a name though....I propose "croginas"

This would be particularly appropriate, given that they are being sent to uptight congressmen as a suggestion of how "receptive" an actual vagina attached to a right thinking woman would be to the likes of them.

crogina - a vagina that is so tight, it requires a crowbar to open it.

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Response to yellowcanine (Reply #42)

Wed Apr 11, 2012, 03:48 PM

43. They are calling them "snatchels."

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Response to The Velveteen Ocelot (Reply #43)

Wed Apr 11, 2012, 04:17 PM

46. That's very good but I hate to give up croginas. Snatchels and croginas?

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Response to WilliamPitt (Original post)

Wed Apr 11, 2012, 04:15 PM

45. this thread has earned the V.E.A. Seal of Approval

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Response to alterfurz (Reply #45)

Wed Apr 11, 2012, 05:17 PM

51. "screw us & we multiply"

 

That needs to be in latin on that logo.



FUTUIS NOBIS ET NOS MULTIPLICABO

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Response to WilliamPitt (Original post)

Wed Apr 11, 2012, 04:33 PM

49. AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

 

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Response to WilliamPitt (Original post)

Wed Apr 11, 2012, 05:12 PM

50. Gyno-centric equivalent of Plaster Casters?

For those of us old enough to remember the 60's. Too bad today's Tea Baggers won't appreciate the artistry or the point the ladies are making.

For the younger set, here is a link to explain:

http://www.vh1.com/artists/news/1122292/20000720/hendrix_jimi.jhtml

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Response to WilliamPitt (Original post)

Wed Apr 11, 2012, 05:26 PM

52. This is so funny! nt

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Response to WilliamPitt (Original post)

Wed Apr 11, 2012, 05:27 PM

54. Didn't Snatchel pitch for the Indians...

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Response to WCGreen (Reply #54)

Thu Apr 12, 2012, 03:39 PM

65. Snatchel Paige?

he also played in the St.Louis Browns and the Monarchs.

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Response to WilliamPitt (Original post)

Wed Apr 11, 2012, 05:36 PM

57. Vagina != vulva

Sigh.

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Response to redqueen (Reply #57)

Thu Apr 12, 2012, 08:32 AM

63. I know. Heavy sigh. It's a vulva.

I hate it when people (especially women) say "vajayjay" or "vagina" when they are referring to the vulva.

The only way you can see your vagina is with a mirror and a vaginal speculum.

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Response to CottonBear (Reply #63)

Thu Apr 12, 2012, 04:32 PM

67. Cute true story....

When my daughter was little, we learned the proper terms (I am a Nurse). Mom had my then 3 1/2 yo. While sitting in the shopping cart (very happily swinging her feet), she said-in a reedy little voice that carried across the store-Guess what Grama....I got a 'gina.

The elderly lady ahead of them shot my little girl and Mom a whithering glance.

Mom was cool as a cucumber. That's right sweetheart. Girls have a vagina and vulva and boys have a penis.

Mom said she thought the lady was going to die from disgust as she whipped her head forward.

And Mom wonders where I get mine from.

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Response to AnneD (Reply #67)

Fri Apr 13, 2012, 08:38 AM

68. That is awesome! Your mom rocks!

I'm teaching my three year little boy all of the proper terms too!

My mom and dad (medical professionals) never talked to us about sex or our bodies.

Needless to say, I am taking your approach to health and sex education for children!

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Response to CottonBear (Reply #68)

Fri Apr 13, 2012, 12:13 PM

70. I'm very happy y'all are teaching your own about sex.

I recall a thread on another message-board some years ago (unrelated to politics) and one of my friends from Germany mentioning that they had sex-education by age-12. Seems like she had it even earlier, like age-10. Well, all the republicans on the board were completely aghast and wanted to not only delete her post but lock the thread, because it was a "family" site and young American children might be reading. The few of us Liberals had no problem with her talking about it and backed her up. That just made us "enemies" of the prudes, but I can live with that.

I can remember getting those little cards at the end of the year in high school, asking us what classes we'd like to see the following year. Every time, I wrote in "Sex Education. REALLY!" Of course, as I live in Texas, I suspect they thought I was being funny, and we never got such helpful education. As far as I know, they still don't have it.

By the way, thanks, y'all, for the clarification of terminology. I didn't know it, honestly, probably due to not using it (or not being taught it, whether by school or parents.) I barely know my own, though I have had to learn terminology associated with kidney stone problems (urethra, ureter, for example.)

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Response to kentauros (Reply #70)

Fri Apr 13, 2012, 12:54 PM

73. I'm from the South too (TN & GA). Sex ed is still a mostly taboo subject!

My little boy is going to be taught all about his body and sexuality. I give him more and more detailed information as a grows and as he asks more questions. He uses proper terminology for the body parts he knows. Kids are great! They are sponges for information and they are curious. There is absolutely no reason that the functions of the human body and human sexuality should be a taboo mystery.

Sorry to hear about your kidney stones: ouch! I have friends who've had them. I've seen grown men writhing on the ground in agony.

Hopefully, you will not have any more!

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Response to CottonBear (Reply #73)

Fri Apr 13, 2012, 03:19 PM

76. Thankfully, kidney stones only "accumulate" in me

about once every ten years or so. I haven't had to get them removed in over 16 years now, so no hospital stays And yes, the first time I had them, I was indeed rolling on the floor in pain (and scared because I had no idea what was going on internally.)

I saw your posts in the LBN thread about the Crackerbarrel shooting. I'm glad you made it through your own abusive experience! My wife left me about seven years ago, but we never had any problems beyond a handful of arguments. We're still friends, just not compatible as a couple (reasons I won't go into here.)

So, while my imagination can take me into your description, I have no personal experience with anything even approaching physical abuse. It's as alien to me as voting republican! I hope you have a nice, stable relationship and life for the rest of your days!

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Response to kentauros (Reply #76)

Tue Apr 17, 2012, 08:37 PM

82. Thank you so much for your kind words!

I am in a wonderful relationship with a wonderful family now! My little one is sleeping soundly right now. He has two loving parents and an extended family who loves him too!

You are so lucky to have good health now and to have a friendly relationship with your ex-wife. Please drink lots of water to keep kidney stones from forming again.

Have a great week! I'm going to be too busy to post much on DU but I will be reading all of the Latest threads!

Peace. CB

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Response to kentauros (Reply #70)

Fri Apr 13, 2012, 02:33 PM

74. I live in Texas....

and am a School Nurse. There are many things I would like to teach but am hamstrung by either the school board or the parents. I get grief just when I teach growth and development to the 5th grade.

I send out permission note for the parents to sign to permit the kids in the class and I can count on my phone ringing off the hook the next day. This is just basic stuff and the parents freak out. I invite them to see the video but I tell them we have a question and answer session after and I cannot guarantee what questions will be asked. I do boys and girls separately as there is a great difference in maturity. When I am with the boys, I had a male teacher with me and he was great to help answer questions.

I always told the kids to ask their parents because they were young once too. I got a call back from a single mom once. She called to thank me because she did not know how to talk to her son. She said he came home and told her what we had talked about. She was so grateful for the way we had done it (with the male teacher too) and it gave her an opening to talk with her son. That was the only nice call I got about Sex Ed. but it was enough for me to know I was on the right track.

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Response to AnneD (Reply #74)

Fri Apr 13, 2012, 03:10 PM

75. Cool story!

It is a nice feeling when you're able to reach someone, even with such odds stacked against

I was in high school in the late 70s and from my perspective, we seemed fairly "progressive" back then, even without sex education. I have no idea what the Texas SBOE was doing back then, but would guess they weren't nearly as bad as they are right now. I do hope we're able to turn the state blue again in the coming decade. Maybe then we might see some 20th century enlightenment in education

If only Karl Rove had never existed, then we might have seen Ann Richards die in office (you know she'd have been re-elected as many times as possible! )

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Response to kentauros (Reply #75)

Fri Apr 13, 2012, 04:59 PM

77. She was ....

one of the best, wittest Gov's we ever had. She and Molly Ivins are what real Texas women look and act like. Funny, fiesty and tough. Hell, you have to be that way to put up with Texas men. Texas has always been hell on women and horses.

Lady Bird and Nelly are what 'well heeled' Texas women are like...but the average Texas woman will 'kick yor ass' if you give her too much trouble. Even our little old grannies can kick ass if you get them riled up.

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Response to AnneD (Reply #77)

Fri Apr 13, 2012, 06:03 PM

78. If Ann knew how to knit,

I suspect she would have joined in this protest, too

Say, isn't DUer Skittles another feisty Texas woman? We all know, she will kick your ass!

And if you haven't seen it, look for the documentary "The Dildo Diaries". It features not only Molly Ivins, but Annie Sprinkle and former Texas House Rep. Debra Danburg

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Response to kentauros (Reply #78)

Mon Apr 16, 2012, 10:14 AM

79. Ann would not use....

the needles to knit. Don't know much about Skittles but I like what I have heard.

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Response to AnneD (Reply #67)

Fri Apr 13, 2012, 12:42 PM

72. Talking to kids about sex at an early age helps....

As the 'Nurse's daughter' I knew other kids would ask her questions. We talked about everything from birth control to emotions when it was appropriate. The only thing I ever ask her was to come to me before she became active so we could get her some protection (I did tell her where we kept the condoms and that we didn't count them-oh the :eye: I got from her). I advised her to wait until she was older. Imagine how shocked I was when she called me at age 21 and told me she had been dating this guy for over 3 months and was thinking about becoming active. It was a hard conversation because she still is my baby, but I was so glad she felt she could talk to me about it. It is not so much about the facts of life as much as it is teaching them to make wise, safe choices.

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Response to WilliamPitt (Original post)

Thu Apr 12, 2012, 04:12 PM

66. Might as well put this here too :P

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Response to WilliamPitt (Original post)

Fri Apr 13, 2012, 12:00 PM

69. That is not a vagina. And a uterus is not a vagina.

People's understanding of female anatomy is seriously deficient.

*sigh*

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Response to MadrasT (Reply #69)

Fri Apr 13, 2012, 12:18 PM

71. .

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