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Mon Nov 12, 2012, 09:18 PM

I lost a friend of 30 years to right wing craziness

I have known her since high school. We almost dated but never did and became great friends. She was my platonic prom-date and we had great fun together. She has been there for me through my divorce, occasional depression and the death of my father. I have been there through her ups and downs with her marriage and the death of her father. In the last few years though, she had become more right wing and I was surprised by her growing hatred of President Obama. I just tried not to talk about politics with her. I was also friends with her mom but she unfriended me after I answered, in writing, her question of why I supported "this man," for president earlier this year. Her mom called me a koolaid drinker, blocked me and continued to get her information from the only honest man in America, Glenn Beck.

After my daughter experienced bullying at school the day after the election, I got mad and posted a rant on facebook saying if anyone thought President Obama was a terrorist, Muslim, the anti-christ, or was trying to destroy America, they should unfriend me on facebook and in real life and save me the trouble.

I lost two facebook friends. I couldn't figure out which ones until tonight. I searched her name to ask how she was doing in dealing with her father's recent death and I got the "Add Friend" button on her now unavailable page.

I miss my friend but the loss is lessened by the fact that I have been losing her for years. She is not the same person I used to know. Changed by right wing propaganda into a fearful hate filled person who must believe some or all of the things about our president that I forbid in my post. I am saddened by the good people who have been pulled into the abyss of bigotry and anger vomited out by the right wing entertainment industry. I am also surprised that many of these people are smart, educated and started out as compassionate caring human beings before morphing into right wing talking point spewing automatons.

I hope to get my friend back some day but I don't think I will as long as Foxnews, Sean Hannity, Rush Limbaugh, Glenn Beck, Ann Coulter and the rest keep telling people the president is their enemy as are the people who support him.

Bye "K." Thanks for being there for me for thirty years. I miss you and I wish you peace.

36 replies, 3549 views

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Arrow 36 replies Author Time Post
Reply I lost a friend of 30 years to right wing craziness (Original post)
Mortos Nov 2012 OP
Obamamama44 Nov 2012 #1
freshwest Nov 2012 #12
just1voice Nov 2012 #32
Maplegrass Nov 2012 #2
Initech Nov 2012 #5
Maplegrass Nov 2012 #23
hrmjustin Nov 2012 #3
JB126 Nov 2012 #4
Skittles Nov 2012 #18
still_one Nov 2012 #6
Mortos Nov 2012 #7
still_one Nov 2012 #9
Liberalynn Nov 2012 #17
undeterred Nov 2012 #8
Awknid Nov 2012 #10
chillfactor Nov 2012 #11
Moral Compass Nov 2012 #13
Liberalynn Nov 2012 #14
hay rick Nov 2012 #15
Ilsa Nov 2012 #16
WiffenPoof Nov 2012 #19
October Nov 2012 #20
catbyte Nov 2012 #21
ChisolmTrailDem Nov 2012 #22
TheBlackAdder Nov 2012 #24
Honeycombe8 Nov 2012 #25
Cha Nov 2012 #26
reformist2 Nov 2012 #27
ffr Nov 2012 #28
We People Nov 2012 #30
bench scientist Nov 2012 #29
Lucinda Nov 2012 #31
Egalitarian Thug Nov 2012 #33
coalition_unwilling Nov 2012 #34
The Doctor. Nov 2012 #35
AverageJoe90 Nov 2012 #36

Response to Mortos (Original post)

Mon Nov 12, 2012, 09:21 PM

1. It sort of reminds me of the walking dead...

..like I see people I love turn into hateful vile people who don't want to know the truth. They're the walkers...

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Response to Obamamama44 (Reply #1)

Mon Nov 12, 2012, 10:25 PM

12. Yep, the Zombie Apocalypse arrived in stages.

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Response to Obamamama44 (Reply #1)

Tue Nov 13, 2012, 02:51 AM

32. Well said, "the walkers"...

 

They are exactly like zombies, slowing and aimlessly staggering with nothing on their mind except their wallets.

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Response to Mortos (Original post)

Mon Nov 12, 2012, 09:21 PM

2. Unfortunately, sociopathy is a degenerative disease.

 

Once infected, without rapid intervention, the victim will become increasingly alienated from values such as empathy and compassion.

This eventually presents as full-blown conservatism.

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Response to Maplegrass (Reply #2)

Mon Nov 12, 2012, 09:26 PM

5. I've spent the last ten years trying to figure out the definition of "compassionate conservatism."

Can't be done. Does that mean a person is *SLIGHTLY* less of a sociopath? Does that mean when they screw you behind your back, they do so with a big, huge smile on their face? Or is it just a complete lack of empathy? Can't figure it out!

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Response to Initech (Reply #5)

Mon Nov 12, 2012, 11:21 PM

23. It's a lie. Just that simple. (n/t)

 

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Response to Mortos (Original post)

Mon Nov 12, 2012, 09:22 PM

3. I am so sorry for you Mortos. Sounds like you lost a good friend.

I hope you guys can patch things up.

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Response to Mortos (Original post)

Mon Nov 12, 2012, 09:23 PM

4. Same story here

It's like losing family to a cult.

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Response to JB126 (Reply #4)

Mon Nov 12, 2012, 10:47 PM

18. that is EXACTLY what it is

a CULT

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Response to Mortos (Original post)

Mon Nov 12, 2012, 09:29 PM

6. To be frank, I am not sure what kind of friends they really were if they do not accept you for your

Beliefs

I have right wing friends, but our friendship isn't based on who we voted for

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Response to still_one (Reply #6)

Mon Nov 12, 2012, 09:32 PM

7. She was my the best female friend I have ever had

I talked to her for hours and hours about the ups and downs in my life. She was the first person I wanted to call when something really good or really bad happened. She was my confidant and counselor and I love her very much.

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Response to Mortos (Reply #7)

Mon Nov 12, 2012, 09:35 PM

9. That is of course your view, but it appears not reciprocal

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Response to Mortos (Reply #7)

Mon Nov 12, 2012, 10:46 PM

17. Maybe you can wait a few weeks and write her a snal mail letter

saying exactly what you just said here. Don't put a return addy just address it to her, to avoid her tossing it out of anger before she opens it. If you can get her to open it and actually see the contents, she might have a change of heart. Who knows maybe she feels as badly about the loss as you do.

Ask her if you can still be friends and see if you can agree to not talk politics with one another. Its the only way I have maintained relationships with some of my Republican family members.

Maybe not re-friending on Facebook but only in person might be a good way to handle it as well. I kind of think that place has a highschool/gang/bullying quality to it. I think people get egged into behavior they might not otherwise have engaged in by certain other members of their "circle of friends" and their little memes.

I think sometimes we can react in the heat of the moment and then regret it later. Maybe it will turn out this way with your friend.

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Response to Mortos (Original post)

Mon Nov 12, 2012, 09:34 PM

8. I'm sorry, Mortos.

I have experienced the same thing. But I've rarely seen anyone come back from the dark side once they've gone over. Its very sad.

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Response to undeterred (Reply #8)

Mon Nov 12, 2012, 09:56 PM

10. I disagree that she is gone for good

I might be talking from the standpoint of hope but if you really were that close, she might come back around. I hope so!
So sad and unnecessary. We have to heal this country!

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Response to Mortos (Original post)

Mon Nov 12, 2012, 09:57 PM

11. I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your friend...

the same thing happened to me.....a friend I have known for years..and like you...she was my confidant..the first person I called to share the ups and downs in my life.....

I will never understand how deeply baggers can immerse themselves in such hate and still function...all the anger and hate they harbor in themselves must truly eat them up inside....

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Response to Mortos (Original post)

Mon Nov 12, 2012, 10:27 PM

13. Sorry for your loss

I've stopped talking to a lot of people or they've stopped talking to me. The one that's bothered me most is my ex-wife.

We've had a great relationship since we split up and we've remained close friends for over 25 years. This hasn't always gone over well with my wife and daughters but it was innocent.

She live in Missouri and when the Akin thing broke I sent her a snarky text that I thought she'd completely agree with. Now that I think back on it I don't think we'd ever discussed politics. Not when we were married and not after.

The text I got back stunned me. She didn't defend Akin, but she talked about how much she hated Claire Mckaskill and then went on an anti-Obama rant about how he was a "right wing socialist". We went back and forth a couple of times with my pointing out that she was just spewing boiler plate, Fox talking points without anything to back them up.

Then I ended the conversation.

I haven't heard from her since. I miss her and I'm worried about her. She's unemployed and she's depressed and I'm sure she's scared. But you get to where you can't communicate anymore when someone is spewing hatred and lies and now thinks you are evil incarnate because you don't agree.

Do what I'm going to do. Let it die down a bit. And then be the peacemaker. Reach out to her. Maybe you'll turn her around. That's better than writing off a friendship like that.

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Response to Mortos (Original post)

Mon Nov 12, 2012, 10:32 PM

14. I am sorry for your loss

I know it hurts.

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Response to Mortos (Original post)

Mon Nov 12, 2012, 10:37 PM

15. People change.

It's sad, but it's the truth. I view the the right-wing hate memes as a form of psychological virus. Viruses that attack the body change and weaken the body. Psychological viruses do the same thing to a persons thought processes and infect their attitudes and ultimately their choices.

We all become slightly different people over time based on the cumulative effect of our daily experience. Right-wing memes organize and exploit daily experience in a way that emphasizes a person's sense of victimization and closes off the normal experience of empathy. People under that influence can change profoundly. Intelligent people are in no way immune to this kind of disorder.

I'm sorry for your loss. Know that you are not alone.

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Response to Mortos (Original post)

Mon Nov 12, 2012, 10:37 PM

16. Me too.

Almost that long a period of time.

My buddy has become a sponge for Randian RW propaganda. Has become belligerent and bossy. I am actually relieved and happier not to be visiting with my old friend as frequently.

But, it still pains me, and I'm sorry this has happened to you.

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Response to Mortos (Original post)

Mon Nov 12, 2012, 10:53 PM

19. I Can Feel The Pain...

...in your words. I'm so sorry. I also lost a lifelong friend to this RW nonsense. I miss him.

Paige

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Response to Mortos (Original post)

Mon Nov 12, 2012, 10:55 PM

20. How sad. So sorry.

I lost a 'new' friend.

She is a Jewish, lesbian, retired woman. She never got over Hillary's loss in the Primary and became enraged with Democrats, especially Obama. She simply cannot say a nice thing about him.

Last time around, she voted for McCain. This time, she voted for Romney.

She justified her actions by saying her entire community/district votes DEM, so her vote wouldn't matter any way.

Long story, short - she now swears off ALL POLITICS. She feels it has become too divisive and blamed the left as much as the right. She will no longer engage in, or talk about politics.

My take: She started visiting right-wing sites little-by-little. Over time, I noticed the tone of her emails changed. She became angrier. She started to quote memes from the RIGHT. She started to think all Dem stories were as biased and full of lies like the RIGHT. She turned. This woman just TURNED, and she has no idea how much she has changed.

<sigh>

It seems just "visiting" those sites, and reading all the propaganda really gets to even the nicest people.

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Response to Mortos (Original post)

Mon Nov 12, 2012, 11:08 PM

21. It is alarming, it's some sort of mass psychosis. The right wing hate media has done

irreparable damage to this country. They are just plain evil. I'm sorry you lost your friend, but for what it's worth, we're here for you.

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Response to Mortos (Original post)

Mon Nov 12, 2012, 11:13 PM

22. This pisses me off so bad! The right-wing hate machine in

this country has to be destroyed! By whatever means!

I'm sorry your dear friend fell victim to their hateful poison.

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Response to Mortos (Original post)

Mon Nov 12, 2012, 11:32 PM

24. My Senior Prom Date Became 'Born Again' when she went away to college.

Hi Mortos,

My school friend, who was a co-worker at a job we shared and my senior prom date went to college in Maryland. She came back a Born Again Christian. She was spouting how carbon dating was a trick by God to throw people off the the real age of the planet. That Noah's Ark actually existed, even though we'd all be offspring from incestuous relationships, etc. She was deeply entrenched in whatever religious conversion she underwent when away from her family and friends. (Many religious groups in college try to recruit vulnerable teens when they are alone or in a strange setting and love bomb them to gain their allegiance.)

I ran into her after about 15 years, while I was in getting a permit at my town hall. No longer born again, divorced with a couple of kids and living back with her parents. She was just a shell of the person I once knew. When I saw her, I was no longer attracted to her as her spirit was drained from her and a coarseness became her. The strange thing was that she was getting a permit to open a daycare in her parent's house. I think about her every now and again, especially when I go over my school pictures, but I know that we have both moved on.

It will take time, especially since you've had a long and close relationship. Unfortunately, after having lost both parents and most of my aunts and uncles, time is the only cure for this.

Stay strong.

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Response to Mortos (Original post)

Mon Nov 12, 2012, 11:32 PM

25. I'm sorry. That sucks. But it's not you. It's them. It sounds like you really have grown

far apart from your friend, though.

I take politics seriously, so I know where your friend is coming from (although I have not dropped any Republican friends, tho I don't have any close Republican friends).

My family is rightwingnut. I avoid politics, to teh extent I can. But they keep trying to bait me. I haven't spoken to them since the election. I am avoiding it.

It doesn't sound like much of a loss, the loss of your friend. If she did that, she wasn't really a friend. But really, you all but TOLD them to unfriend you. So they did. That old saying....be careful what you ask for; you might get it.

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Response to Mortos (Original post)

Tue Nov 13, 2012, 12:05 AM

26. It's too bad we lose our friends and family members to rw propaganda.. run of the mill

brainwashing. It would be no different than if they joined a cult and the way to get them back would be to stage an Intervention and have them deprogrammed.

This has been slowly going on for so long and now it's getting to be an epidemic..no wonder cnn thought they wanted to get in on some of that fox Action..country be damned.

Sorry about the loss of your friend, Mortos.

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Response to Mortos (Original post)

Tue Nov 13, 2012, 12:19 AM

27. Not trying to sound alarmist (really, I'm not), but this is what happened in Nazi Germany.


We do need to figure out a way to convince people not yet totally gone to step back from the brink somehow.

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Response to Mortos (Original post)

Tue Nov 13, 2012, 12:31 AM

28. Mandatory critical thinking and reasoning classes?

These people have to be able to discern what is truth from fiction, fallacy from fact and what might motivate these millionaire talking heads in the M$M into trying to sway people's views one way or another.

Yes, in fact, they may be playing people against one another because there's money in it. And when money's involved, what's the question?

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Response to ffr (Reply #28)

Tue Nov 13, 2012, 02:46 AM

30. I WISH that were possible, but right wing & corporate interests are dead set against critical

thinking skills being taught, from kindergarten all the way through higher education. I hope those plans do not get carried out the way those people intend.

We have to tackle it somehow. Maybe the conservative leadership who is waking up from their epic loss can help bring some of them back into reality. But that only takes care of a few layers of their psychosis. Besides, conservative leadership wants them to stay in their own fold, of course.

This thread is something I've been thinking about for a long time and it makes me despair for the future of this country and this world.

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Response to Mortos (Original post)

Tue Nov 13, 2012, 02:12 AM

29. that's rough

Sorry Mortos, wow you are having one tough week.
I sincerely hope things get better for you, and for your daughter at school.( I really appreciated your level headed response to that). Hopefully with a bit of time and space your friend will realize that she values your friendship over mere politics. Perhaps , perhaps not- time will tell.
Take care and hang in there.

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Response to Mortos (Original post)

Tue Nov 13, 2012, 02:51 AM

31. You might want to contact her and make sure she actually unfriended you.

Someone was taken off my list, and I didn't know about it until he sent me a message. I never removed him.

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Response to Mortos (Original post)

Tue Nov 13, 2012, 03:08 AM

33. I'm very sorry for your loss. I think this is symptomatic of a much bigger problem.

 

There are tens of millions of Americans whose lives have been irrevocably changed for the worse. They don't know why and are not even really sure how, but they are angry about it and will blame it on someone. From their perspective they have done what they were supposed to do. They followed the rules and now they are not getting the payoff promised to them.

I am afraid that this is going to get worse before it gets better, if it does.

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Response to Mortos (Original post)

Tue Nov 13, 2012, 03:39 AM

34. I'm sorry for your loss. This is the cruelest fruit of 30 years of Reagan-Bushism, that it

 

has turned father against son, neighbor against neighbor and friend against friend.

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Response to Mortos (Original post)

Tue Nov 13, 2012, 06:48 PM

35. Saw the same thing happen to a client's friend.

 


They've been friends for decades. But the one gal's son, an irresponsible blame-the-world-for-his-laziness sort, bullied her into adopting the RW bullshit he listened to. She was one of my facebook friends too, until she posted a piece of wingnuttery I tore apart.

She was once a kind and wonderful person, but now she is filled with fear and hatred.

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Response to Mortos (Original post)

Thu Nov 15, 2012, 09:49 PM

36. So sorry to hear about that.

I think I might lose a few old friends, too. I'm in TX just north of D/FW and there aren't exactly a lot of Democrats up here yet, though at least I haven't run into too many Teabaggers.....well, not yet, anyhow.

But at least there's always DU.

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