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Mon Nov 12, 2012, 12:47 AM

My brother in Arizona has no filter, and it's wonderful to see him finally politically active

My brother isn't the most politically active person. He married a wingnut with two dirt poor wingnuts for parents.

But he's finally had enough now that he's a father. Keep in mind, this is rural Arizona.

A Mormon holy roller came to his door with his flyers and Book.

First, my brother points the giang Star of David on the door and says "sorry, we like our product. Your mind control product doesn't apply to me."

The missionary refuses to give in. The typical Jesus loves everyone, but you need to submit to him comes out. Again, my brother points to his Star of David and says "If you love Jesus, do what he did first. Become Jewish."

Then the missionary notices the Obama/Biden poster in the window and asks if my brother voted for the Devil's son. My brother replies, "no, I voted for the Democrat."

Keep in mind, my brother is playing with this guy. Finally, after a rant about how Obama was going to bring the country to Hell because of some idiocy, my brother stops and says: "Okay, you convinced me. I need to atone. I'll become a Mormon."

The mormon smiles and hands him literature. My brother asks his head and says "I understand there are only a limited number of slots in Heaven."

"Yes. 144,000."

"Okay. . .since I'm becoming a mormon, I want yours!"

The missionary stares at him stupidly. My brother looks at the literature. "I'll become a moron and vote your way if you sign your heavenly slot over to me. And give my wife and daughter two of your family's slots too."

The missionary says it doesn't work that way.

My brother says "then take your crap off my lawn before I get my shotgun" and slams the door in his face.

27 replies, 2907 views

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Arrow 27 replies Author Time Post
Reply My brother in Arizona has no filter, and it's wonderful to see him finally politically active (Original post)
Suji to Seoul Nov 2012 OP
BainsBane Nov 2012 #1
Selatius Nov 2012 #2
elleng Nov 2012 #3
LiberalElite Nov 2012 #4
elleng Nov 2012 #5
UtahLib Nov 2012 #7
Cha Nov 2012 #10
SleeplessinSoCal Nov 2012 #24
On the Road Nov 2012 #15
MissMarple Nov 2012 #20
grantcart Nov 2012 #26
Kennah Nov 2012 #17
Thor_MN Nov 2012 #19
AgingAmerican Nov 2012 #21
freshwest Nov 2012 #22
baldguy Nov 2012 #25
grantcart Nov 2012 #6
Suji to Seoul Nov 2012 #9
grantcart Nov 2012 #11
freshwest Nov 2012 #23
Hamlette Nov 2012 #16
appleannie1 Nov 2012 #8
grantcart Nov 2012 #12
Kennah Nov 2012 #18
wake.up.america Nov 2012 #13
AverageJoe90 Nov 2012 #14
DCKit Nov 2012 #27

Response to Suji to Seoul (Original post)

Mon Nov 12, 2012, 12:52 AM

1. Your brother sounds great!

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Response to Suji to Seoul (Original post)

Mon Nov 12, 2012, 12:53 AM

2. There's only 144,000 slots in heaven according to Mormons? Who came up with such a limit? nt

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Response to Selatius (Reply #2)

Mon Nov 12, 2012, 12:56 AM

3. Was wondering the same!!!

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Response to elleng (Reply #3)

Mon Nov 12, 2012, 12:58 AM

4. Who the heck knows but -

That's the same thing Jehovah Witnesses believe - only 144,000 get in.

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Response to LiberalElite (Reply #4)

Mon Nov 12, 2012, 01:07 AM

5. Well, nothing like someones' myths:

144000 is a natural number. It has significance in several religious movements. In the Mayan calendar, a baktun is a period of 144,000 days.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/144000_(number)

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Response to LiberalElite (Reply #4)

Mon Nov 12, 2012, 01:31 AM

7. I think the person at the door must have been a Jehovah's Witness

Mormons believe all mormons are going to at least one of the three divisions of heaven they believe exists as long as they abide by the rules of the church. The most strongly stressed and important rule, of course, is paying a full tithe of 10% of your earnings. If you don't abide by that rule, you will probably be in what they refer to as "spiritual prison" for a very long time.

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Response to UtahLib (Reply #7)

Mon Nov 12, 2012, 01:50 AM

10. Yeah, I have the same feeling.. When I saw that limited number I thought..

"hey, that's how the JW's are..I hadn't heard that about Mormons.

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Response to LiberalElite (Reply #4)

Mon Nov 12, 2012, 04:07 AM

24. and Jehovah Witnesses don't believe in patriotic songs. It's against their religion.

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Response to Selatius (Reply #2)

Mon Nov 12, 2012, 02:48 AM

15. 144,000 is in Revelation 7:3

1After this I saw four angels standing at the four corners of the earth, holding back the four winds of the earth, so that no wind would blow on the earth or on the sea or on any tree. 2 And I saw another angel ascending from the rising of the sun, having the seal of the living God; and he cried out with a loud voice to the four angels to whom it was granted to harm the earth and the sea, 3 saying, “Do not harm the earth or the sea or the trees until we have sealed the bond-servants of our God on their foreheads.” 4 And I heard the number of those who were sealed, one hundred and forty-four thousand sealed from every tribe of the sons of Israel:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/144000_(number)

It is obviously intended to be symbolic -- 144,000 is 12,000 for each of the 12 tribes of Israel -- but some folks can't seem to take anything metaphorically, even in Revelation.

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Response to On the Road (Reply #15)

Mon Nov 12, 2012, 03:18 AM

20. And in the New Testament, love God and love one another.

That's pretty much it. The Old Testament is just...well, interesting.... kind of a reference point.

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Response to On the Road (Reply #15)

Mon Nov 12, 2012, 09:56 AM

26. Here is the standard understanding of the verse, encompasing both 144 and 1000

http://www.usccb.org/bible/revelation/7/

* One hundred and forty-four thousand: the square of twelve (the number of Israel’s tribes) multiplied by a thousand, symbolic of the new Israel (cf. Rev 14:1–5; Gal 6:16; Jas 1:1) that embraces people from every nation, race, people, and tongue (Rev 7).

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Response to Selatius (Reply #2)

Mon Nov 12, 2012, 02:57 AM

17. It's just gross

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Response to Selatius (Reply #2)

Mon Nov 12, 2012, 03:04 AM

19. Order now!! Supplies are limited!!

If you are one of the first 100 convertors during this limited time offer, ....

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Response to Selatius (Reply #2)

Mon Nov 12, 2012, 03:21 AM

21. The whole "Born again" movement is based on this

There is a story in the bible where 144,000 JEWS are converted to christianity, then they float up to heaven. They later come down and fight the battle of Armageddon. Republicans call this the "Rapture" . Problem is, it happens to jews in the bible, not republicans.

A 7th day Adventist woman in the late 1800s came up with a theory that these 'Jews' were actually American Christians. The right wing xristians have latched onto this and the born again/religious right was born.

The kicker for me has always been that in revelations 3 : 9 it calls "those who call themselves jews, but are not" (born agains) the "synagog of satan"

Idiots dont even know their own religion

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Response to Selatius (Reply #2)

Mon Nov 12, 2012, 03:42 AM

22. The Bible did:

Revelation 7:3–8 (ESV)

saying: "Do not harm the earth or the sea or the trees, until after we have sealed the servants of God on their foreheads." And I heard the number of the sealed, a hundred and forty-four thousand, sealed from every tribe of the sons of Israel:
12,000 from the tribe of Judah were sealed,
12,000 from the tribe of Reuben,
12,000 from the tribe of Gad,
12,000 from the tribe of Asher,
12,000 from the tribe of Naphtali,
12,000 from the tribe of Manasseh,
12,000 from the tribe of Simeon,
12,000 from the tribe of Levi,
12,000 from the tribe of Issachar,
12,000 from the tribe of Zebulun,
12,000 from the tribe of Joseph,
12,000 from the tribe of Benjamin were sealed.

Revelation 14:1 (ESV)

Then I looked, and behold, on Mount Zion stood the Lamb, and with him 144,000 who had his name and his Father's name written on their foreheads.

Revelation 14:3–5 (ESV)

And they were singing a new song before the throne and before the four living creatures and before the elders. No one could learn that song except the 144,000 who had been redeemed from the earth. For it is these who have not defiled themselves with women, for they are virgins. It is these who follow the Lamb wherever he goes. These have been redeemed from mankind as firstfruits for God and the Lamb, and in their mouth no lie was found, for they are blameless.



Page from an illuminated manuscript painted by an unknown artist, depicting the 144,000 from Revelation 7, from a copy of the Commentary on the Apocalypse by Saint Beatus of Liébana


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/144000_%28number%29

I heard about this for years. It crosses several belief systems. It may be symbolic, but some take it literally.


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Response to Selatius (Reply #2)

Mon Nov 12, 2012, 06:05 AM

25. And there are 14 million Mormons around the world.

Why would anyone join a religion where they're 99% sure NOT to be saved?

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Response to Suji to Seoul (Original post)

Mon Nov 12, 2012, 01:18 AM

6. Those were not Mormons, but Jehovah's Witnesses.


Mormon elders are well trained and not confrontational, although I give them a hard time I have to admit that they are respectful.

The idea of 144,000 limited spaces in heaven is a corner tenet of Jehoviah's Witnesses, not Mormonism.

Jehovah's Witnesses don't participate in politics.

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Response to grantcart (Reply #6)

Mon Nov 12, 2012, 01:47 AM

9. These are his words. I'm in China. I'm just dictating back.

I love Jehovah's Witnesses. I have no interest in their religion, but they are cool people.

Mormons piss me off because the ones I met don't take no for an answer.

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Response to Suji to Seoul (Reply #9)

Mon Nov 12, 2012, 02:25 AM

11. I have had a lot of experience with both groups and couldn't disagree more.

Jehovah's Witnesses are unapologetic homophobes



http://www.religioustolerance.org/hom_jeh.htm

Jim Moon is webmaster of A Common Bond, an international support group for ex-Jehovah's Witnesses who are gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender. 1 Their web site states that:

"The Jehovah's Witness religion teaches its membership to believe that homosexuality is 'detestable', 'an abomination', 'abhorrent', and is caused by demon possession. Because of this, thousands of gay Witnesses are living lives of deeply closeted guilt, and fear of destruction by God. Those who choose to leave, or are expelled from the Witnesses face immediate isolation and shunning from family and friends. It is for this reason that 'A Common Bond' was created - to offer support and comfort to those who once thought they were alone and condemned...Gays and lesbians who have been kicked out of the JWs are in a special need for all the emotional and spiritual support they can get. If JWs don't conform completely to the sect's doctrines and practices, including a strict prohibition against merely being gay, they are disfellowshipped, which is a severe punishment. It amounts to total ostracism."





The few JW I have met are rabid anti intellectual kooks who ferverantly believe in things like 144,000 being elected for Salvation. JWs' have also called the date for World's end several times. (All but a few of the leaders even know that the word "Jehovah" -a mistransliteration of the German- and "Yahweh" don't even appear in the Bible)



I have grown up with, gone to school with Mormons (including Romney's cousin) and have a lot of Mormon clients. I find them nice, almost over bearingly so. On the mission they try to convert, but I have found them respectful and courteous even when I am being unbearibly frank and cause them to tear up. After the mission I have never had a Mormon acquaintence try to persuade me, in fact most of the time they seem to want to avoid discussions with non Mormons. Most, if not all Mormons I have met in the last few years, strike me as being Mormon because they like the family based program that allows them to share their religious experience with their children in a way that most Protestant Churches don't.

While I am courteous and non confrontational in public I consider anyone who comes to my home and wants to talk religion, and who accepts an invitation to come into my home, to be open season for a brutal unveiling about the facts that are in the Bible. Both Jehovah's Witnesses and Mormon Supervisors take lengths to mark my home as one NOT to call on.




This is an oddly strange coincidence, a story of where I was getting angry about Mormons and at that very instance a JW knocked on my door.

The outcome was not pretty.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=105&topic_id=9155629&mesg_id=9156025

which was followed up with this incident a few days later:

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=105&topic_id=9155629&mesg_id=9155629

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Response to grantcart (Reply #11)

Mon Nov 12, 2012, 03:47 AM

23. Appreciate the links.

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Response to Suji to Seoul (Reply #9)

Mon Nov 12, 2012, 02:49 AM

16. Mormons do not have a limit and there are many good people who are Mormon: Reid, for one.

you brother was blinded by his hatred of Mormons. Its a good story but it falls to pieces since it is JW that have a limit, not Mormons.

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Response to Suji to Seoul (Original post)

Mon Nov 12, 2012, 01:45 AM

8. My aunt was a Jehoviah's Witnesse. They believe in the 144,000 limit also.

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Response to appleannie1 (Reply #8)

Mon Nov 12, 2012, 02:28 AM

12. Mormons don't believe in the 144,000 'limit' Mormons are not 'literal' interpreters of the Bible

hence the Book Of Mormon.


The people at the door were almost certainly JW.


It is a common misconception as this thread shows


http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20080127210247AA189eb

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Response to appleannie1 (Reply #8)

Mon Nov 12, 2012, 02:59 AM

18. Has LDS and JW checked with each to make sure they aren't claiming dibs on the same seats?

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Response to Suji to Seoul (Original post)

Mon Nov 12, 2012, 02:30 AM

13. Very well written.

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Response to Suji to Seoul (Original post)

Mon Nov 12, 2012, 02:39 AM

14. I just LMAOed IRL.

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Response to Suji to Seoul (Original post)

Mon Nov 12, 2012, 03:05 PM

27. Is that where the 144K came from?

 

My dad mentioned it years ago. Is he a Mormon, or just deluded?

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