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Sun Nov 4, 2012, 08:31 PM

What the fuck are "activated almonds?"

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Reply What the fuck are "activated almonds?" (Original post)
MrScorpio Nov 2012 OP
lob1 Nov 2012 #1
Indpndnt Nov 2012 #15
msanthrope Nov 2012 #24
DirkGently Nov 2012 #38
CoffeeCat Nov 2012 #106
pangaia Nov 2012 #2
limpyhobbler Nov 2012 #3
FrodosPet Nov 2012 #44
appal_jack Nov 2012 #100
eShirl Nov 2012 #4
Fawke Em Nov 2012 #16
freshwest Nov 2012 #76
Xithras Nov 2012 #121
freshwest Nov 2012 #125
BumRushDaShow Nov 2012 #5
nobodyspecial Nov 2012 #37
Vanje Nov 2012 #89
progressivebydesign Nov 2012 #48
Arugula Latte Nov 2012 #113
Ikonoklast Nov 2012 #6
pinboy3niner Nov 2012 #7
HereSince1628 Nov 2012 #12
cliffordu Nov 2012 #46
eShirl Nov 2012 #8
NickB79 Nov 2012 #66
muriel_volestrangler Nov 2012 #85
Fawke Em Nov 2012 #9
trotsky Nov 2012 #83
savebigbird Nov 2012 #10
XemaSab Nov 2012 #63
smackd Nov 2012 #11
Junkdrawer Nov 2012 #13
Arugula Latte Nov 2012 #117
Robb Nov 2012 #14
Posteritatis Nov 2012 #32
pinboy3niner Nov 2012 #33
Robb Nov 2012 #36
Junkdrawer Nov 2012 #17
hootinholler Nov 2012 #18
sufrommich Nov 2012 #19
surrealAmerican Nov 2012 #20
jmowreader Nov 2012 #59
Retrograde Nov 2012 #119
jmowreader Nov 2012 #131
nolabear Nov 2012 #21
mick063 Nov 2012 #22
UtahLib Nov 2012 #23
sadbear Nov 2012 #25
rurallib Nov 2012 #26
Odin2005 Nov 2012 #27
rad51 Nov 2012 #51
fadedrose Nov 2012 #65
rad51 Nov 2012 #72
frylock Nov 2012 #28
Matariki Nov 2012 #29
Barack_America Nov 2012 #30
Buns_of_Fire Nov 2012 #42
HiPointDem Nov 2012 #56
Odin2005 Nov 2012 #79
eShirl Nov 2012 #74
Arugula Latte Nov 2012 #112
Barack_America Nov 2012 #31
TwilightGardener Nov 2012 #34
Matariki Nov 2012 #35
jsr Nov 2012 #39
Matariki Nov 2012 #40
FrodosPet Nov 2012 #120
Barack_America Nov 2012 #43
begin_within Nov 2012 #49
TwilightGardener Nov 2012 #62
Matariki Nov 2012 #70
Arugula Latte Nov 2012 #116
HiPointDem Nov 2012 #57
CoffeeCat Nov 2012 #105
Retrograde Nov 2012 #41
progressivebydesign Nov 2012 #45
spinbaby Nov 2012 #84
begin_within Nov 2012 #47
Barack_America Nov 2012 #50
codjh9 Nov 2012 #52
susanna Nov 2012 #53
LittlestStar Nov 2012 #54
Retrograde Nov 2012 #123
HiPointDem Nov 2012 #55
muriel_volestrangler Nov 2012 #87
HiPointDem Nov 2012 #108
muriel_volestrangler Nov 2012 #109
HiPointDem Nov 2012 #110
Canuckistanian Nov 2012 #58
OneGrassRoot Nov 2012 #88
Canuckistanian Nov 2012 #126
XemaSab Nov 2012 #60
jmowreader Nov 2012 #61
Le Taz Hot Nov 2012 #64
Matariki Nov 2012 #71
susanna Nov 2012 #73
LeftyMom Nov 2012 #67
Tabasco_Dave Nov 2012 #68
SaveAmerica Nov 2012 #98
jmowreader Nov 2012 #134
NickB79 Nov 2012 #69
trailmonkee Nov 2012 #75
MadrasT Nov 2012 #77
A HERETIC I AM Nov 2012 #78
lonestarnot Nov 2012 #80
liberal N proud Nov 2012 #81
HappyMe Nov 2012 #82
WilliamPitt Nov 2012 #86
Jamastiene Nov 2012 #90
HappyMe Nov 2012 #96
LiberalEsto Nov 2012 #91
TwilightGardener Nov 2012 #93
LiberalEsto Nov 2012 #127
jmowreader Nov 2012 #135
Arkana Nov 2012 #92
WilliamPitt Nov 2012 #94
GoneOffShore Nov 2012 #95
Hissyspit Nov 2012 #128
ceile Nov 2012 #97
ceile Nov 2012 #99
mindfulNJ Nov 2012 #102
Jamastiene Nov 2012 #103
A HERETIC I AM Nov 2012 #104
randome Nov 2012 #101
Tommy_Carcetti Nov 2012 #107
Arkana Nov 2012 #122
Javaman Nov 2012 #111
Dash87 Nov 2012 #114
demwing Nov 2012 #130
cynatnite Nov 2012 #115
Gidney N Cloyd Nov 2012 #118
Gidney N Cloyd Nov 2012 #124
demwing Nov 2012 #129
libguyob_19556dd Nov 2012 #132
libguyob_19556dd Nov 2012 #133

Response to MrScorpio (Original post)

Sun Nov 4, 2012, 08:32 PM

1. Warning! Warning! Never activate the nut! Never!!

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Response to lob1 (Reply #1)

Sun Nov 4, 2012, 08:39 PM

15. Yeah, bad things happen!




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Response to lob1 (Reply #1)

Sun Nov 4, 2012, 09:11 PM

24. Do not taunt Happy Fun Ball. nt

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Response to lob1 (Reply #1)

Sun Nov 4, 2012, 10:10 PM

38. There's a reason nuts come de-activated!


... someone could be hurt.

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Response to DirkGently (Reply #38)

Mon Nov 5, 2012, 11:29 AM

106. There are experts who devote their lives to activating nuts...

...and they take their work very seriously!

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Response to MrScorpio (Original post)

Sun Nov 4, 2012, 08:33 PM

2. What, no pizza?

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Response to MrScorpio (Original post)

Sun Nov 4, 2012, 08:33 PM

3. emu meatballs? LOL

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Response to limpyhobbler (Reply #3)

Sun Nov 4, 2012, 11:14 PM

44. Two, maybe three days of that diet

Would zap my food budget for the month.

Emu meatballs?

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Response to limpyhobbler (Reply #3)

Mon Nov 5, 2012, 10:10 AM

100. You need the emu balls to turn-on ('activate') the almonds.

Last edited Mon Nov 5, 2012, 12:24 PM - Edit history (2)

Those almonds fancy the emu-dudes.

Who are we to judge?

We may find the emu dudes tiresome, what with their skinny black jeans, hair flopping asymmetrically into one eye as they run around the barnyard, and ceaseless complaining that life is just a short, meaningless journey to the slaughterhouse and meat grinder. But every nut needs someone to love... someone to take you out of your shell and sprout new beginnings.

As long as it's between two consenting foods of the proper ripeness, I say whatever activates your almond is OK by me...



-app

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Response to MrScorpio (Original post)

Sun Nov 4, 2012, 08:34 PM

4. I'm guessing "sprouted" (raw almonds soaked for a number of hours)

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Response to eShirl (Reply #4)

Sun Nov 4, 2012, 08:39 PM

16. That is what they are. eom

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Response to eShirl (Reply #4)

Mon Nov 5, 2012, 02:41 AM

76. That's them. They cost more at the store and are supposed to be 'better.'

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Response to freshwest (Reply #76)

Mon Nov 5, 2012, 12:34 PM

121. There's a reasonable argument for activating them.

Nuts are healthy, but the nutrition in a nut comes from its endosperm, which is all starch and protein bound with a bit of oil. They also contain enzyme inhibitors that help to preserve the seeds and keep them from decaying. Unfortunately these inhibitors also block us from digesting most of the nuts proteins. By activating the nut, you begin the process of sprouting. This converts a substantial portion of those starches and proteins into glucose, enzymes, and antioxidants that are also beneficial to the body. More importantly, that activation process wipes out the enzyme inhibitors, allowing our bodies to absorb more of the proteins that remain.

I tried it out a couple of years ago. They taste good and are healthy, but who the hell has time to activate all of their nuts? It takes at least a day and a half to properly activate ONE batch of almonds...24 hours to soak, and another half day in your oven (because gas and electricity is SO cheap) to dry and activate. You can skip the oven and just let them dry for a couple hours on the counter, but ONLY if you're going to eat them the same day.

I still eat them from time to time when my local health food store has them on sale (in a half dozen flavors, no less), but that's it.

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Response to Xithras (Reply #121)

Mon Nov 5, 2012, 12:48 PM

125. I do that every time I make almond milk at home, but no oven, I keep them raw.

BTW, I didn't mean 'better' facetiously, am familiar with the power of enzymes in food for energy. I prefer my food that way but and don't want to preach.

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Response to MrScorpio (Original post)

Sun Nov 4, 2012, 08:35 PM

5. "liver pate"

I thought anyone who ate what was described above would avoid anything "pate" (based on what they do to fatten those livers).

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Response to BumRushDaShow (Reply #5)

Sun Nov 4, 2012, 09:59 PM

37. Or anything liver

The liver is a filtering organ. Guess where a bunch of residual toxins end up? Never eat kidneys or livers.

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Response to nobodyspecial (Reply #37)

Mon Nov 5, 2012, 09:28 AM

89. The combination of liver pate and licorice tea.......

.......Let the purging begin!

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Response to BumRushDaShow (Reply #5)

Sun Nov 4, 2012, 11:20 PM

48. and his angry response was that he avoids "dead" food. So perhaps the liver is alive?

or perhaps activated. I'm pretty sure that the poor EMU is dead, as well.

The the guy goes on to talk about being a parent.. and I'm thinking.. 'great, impose your food craziness to your poor kids, when all they want is a bowl of Lucky Charms and a cheeseburger."

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Response to BumRushDaShow (Reply #5)

Mon Nov 5, 2012, 12:13 PM

113. I would definitely lose weight on this diet because the thought of liver would make me throw up.

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Response to MrScorpio (Original post)

Sun Nov 4, 2012, 08:35 PM

6. Eating like that must make you dorky-looking.

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Response to MrScorpio (Original post)

Sun Nov 4, 2012, 08:36 PM

7. You have to call the 800# to confirm you've received your nuts before they activate them

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Response to pinboy3niner (Reply #7)

Sun Nov 4, 2012, 08:38 PM

12. Security question: What was the name of your first nut?

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Response to pinboy3niner (Reply #7)

Sun Nov 4, 2012, 11:16 PM

46. Well, for YOU maybe.....

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Response to MrScorpio (Original post)

Sun Nov 4, 2012, 08:36 PM

8. wait a minute... alkalized water + cider vinegar

that's like my 5th grade science project volcano

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Response to eShirl (Reply #8)

Mon Nov 5, 2012, 01:24 AM

66. Glad I'm not the only one who noticed that

What's the point of adding an acid to your alkaline water? Won't you just end up with...plain water?

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Response to NickB79 (Reply #66)

Mon Nov 5, 2012, 09:09 AM

85. water + salt

such as sodium ethanoate.

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Response to MrScorpio (Original post)

Sun Nov 4, 2012, 08:36 PM

9. What average person can either

A. Find these ingredients and;
B. Afford these ingredients?

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Response to Fawke Em (Reply #9)

Mon Nov 5, 2012, 08:23 AM

83. Exactly.

At that point it becomes another form of conspicuous consumption - something we surely don't need any more of.

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Response to MrScorpio (Original post)

Sun Nov 4, 2012, 08:37 PM

10. Almonds soaked in water and allowed to sprout...

That guy's diet plan is making me queasy.

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Response to savebigbird (Reply #10)

Mon Nov 5, 2012, 01:17 AM

63. Like the man says

it's a helluva way to lose weight.

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Response to MrScorpio (Original post)

Sun Nov 4, 2012, 08:37 PM

11. blech

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Response to MrScorpio (Original post)

Sun Nov 4, 2012, 08:38 PM

13. "Went to eat a snack but my almonds are just sitting there, lifeless. What to do now?"

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Response to Junkdrawer (Reply #13)

Mon Nov 5, 2012, 12:20 PM

117. Try meeting your almonds at the door wearing nothing but some negligee...

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Response to MrScorpio (Original post)

Sun Nov 4, 2012, 08:38 PM

14. Reserve almonds that get called up.

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Response to Robb (Reply #14)

Sun Nov 4, 2012, 09:44 PM

32. Hee. (nt)

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Response to Robb (Reply #14)

Sun Nov 4, 2012, 09:50 PM

33. And sadly, they are especially susceptible to Shell Shock. nt

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Response to pinboy3niner (Reply #33)

Sun Nov 4, 2012, 09:56 PM

36. That's nuts.

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Response to MrScorpio (Original post)

Sun Nov 4, 2012, 08:42 PM

17. Almonds that can now download updates....

Genuine Advantage.

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Response to MrScorpio (Original post)

Sun Nov 4, 2012, 08:44 PM

18. The new age reply to the California Raisins?

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Response to MrScorpio (Original post)

Sun Nov 4, 2012, 08:45 PM

19. Whatever you do, don't show them the

queen of diamond card.

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Response to MrScorpio (Original post)

Sun Nov 4, 2012, 08:48 PM

20. "alkalised" water?

What's wrong with the neutral kind? What does he add to it to "alkalise" it anyway? Lye water?

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Response to surrealAmerican (Reply #20)

Mon Nov 5, 2012, 01:12 AM

59. You put it in a $1500-$2000 machine

Apparently, this machine electrolyzes some of the water, driving off one hydrogen atom from some of the water molecules and causing the remaining water to gain a pH of 9.5.

You then put it in your mouth, swallow it, and it runs right down into this big fleshy bag in the middle of your tummy that just happens to be FULL of strong acid...which instantly neutralizes the alkalinity you spent two bills to get!

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Response to jmowreader (Reply #59)

Mon Nov 5, 2012, 12:30 PM

119. Ah, but you've shown you have $2K to spend on a pointless machine

which gives you more hip cred than stirring a large spoonful of baking soda into a glass of water.

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Response to Retrograde (Reply #119)

Mon Nov 5, 2012, 10:35 PM

131. Or you could do this...

Go to Goodwill and spend $7.50 on a used bread machine. Scrape the words "bread machine" off the side of it, and install a spigot off an old sun tea jar. Then tell all your friends it's a water alkalizer. Water alkalizers and bread machines look enough alike you could get away with it.

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Response to MrScorpio (Original post)

Sun Nov 4, 2012, 08:48 PM

21. WW Ambassador? That diet could singlehandedly bring it down!

It looks like he's just going for as weird as he can get. I mean, cacao nibs and liver pate?

In a quasi-word, ew.

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Response to MrScorpio (Original post)

Sun Nov 4, 2012, 09:09 PM

22. I work in the nuclear industry

 

It means they have absorbed so many nuetrons, they have become radioactive.

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Response to MrScorpio (Original post)

Sun Nov 4, 2012, 09:11 PM

23. LOL Thank you

I should have saved reading these responses last tonight. I could then go bed laughing and happy. You people are killing me. I simply must read them all over again.

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Response to MrScorpio (Original post)

Sun Nov 4, 2012, 09:13 PM

25. Dude, that stuff must cost $100 a day.

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Response to sadbear (Reply #25)

Sun Nov 4, 2012, 09:17 PM

26. you can eat once every couple weeks

guaranteed to lose weight.

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Response to MrScorpio (Original post)

Sun Nov 4, 2012, 09:20 PM

27. Hipster douchebag fad diet shit for rich idiots, looks like

Alkalized water? Spirulina (a cynobacterium)? Maca? Chia? Cultured Vegetables? Cacao nibs? EMU MEATBALLS???

That day of weird shit probably costs what I spend a week on groceries!

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Response to Odin2005 (Reply #27)

Mon Nov 5, 2012, 12:04 AM

51. +1

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Response to rad51 (Reply #51)

Mon Nov 5, 2012, 01:21 AM

65. You give him a +1 and I don't know what the hell he's talking about...

More proof that I'm just too old for this group....

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Response to fadedrose (Reply #65)

Mon Nov 5, 2012, 01:53 AM

72. You're not to old, maybe we're to young!

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Response to MrScorpio (Original post)

Sun Nov 4, 2012, 09:34 PM

28. emu meatballs?!

the fuck?

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Response to MrScorpio (Original post)

Sun Nov 4, 2012, 09:38 PM

29. "cultured vegies" - What The Fuck Food

That guy should be embarrassed.

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Response to Matariki (Reply #29)

Sun Nov 4, 2012, 09:41 PM

30. That stood out to me as well.

WTF is a "cultured" vegetable? I seem to recall that vegetables are grown.

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Response to Barack_America (Reply #30)

Sun Nov 4, 2012, 10:29 PM

42. They are -- but these were grown at Oxford and heavily immersed

in impressionist art and opera.

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Response to Buns_of_Fire (Reply #42)

Mon Nov 5, 2012, 12:33 AM

56. lol

 

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Response to Buns_of_Fire (Reply #42)

Mon Nov 5, 2012, 07:52 AM

79. LMAO!

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Response to Barack_America (Reply #30)

Mon Nov 5, 2012, 02:23 AM

74. i think cultured means they were planted in an oyster

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Response to Matariki (Reply #29)

Mon Nov 5, 2012, 12:12 PM

112. Also, the lack of the second "g" in "veggies" is bothering me.

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Response to MrScorpio (Original post)

Sun Nov 4, 2012, 09:43 PM

31. Who the hell has time to eat 6 times a day?!?!

This man must spend his entire day preparing and eating food.

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Response to MrScorpio (Original post)

Sun Nov 4, 2012, 09:55 PM

34. Liver pate with avocados. Emu meatballs. Water with

a splash of vinegar. I am pretty sure he was born without taste buds, and this is the diet that results.

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Response to MrScorpio (Original post)

Sun Nov 4, 2012, 09:56 PM

35. And then, there's this

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Response to Matariki (Reply #35)

Sun Nov 4, 2012, 10:16 PM

39. DIY recipe:

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Response to jsr (Reply #39)

Sun Nov 4, 2012, 10:20 PM

40. lol gross

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Response to jsr (Reply #39)

Mon Nov 5, 2012, 12:32 PM

120. And another:

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Response to Matariki (Reply #35)

Sun Nov 4, 2012, 10:37 PM

43. I think I just read something about a new love affair with carrots...

...on the NYC food scene. As in you go to a fancy restaurant and they basically plop a raw carrot on your plate.

http://www.nytimes.com/2012/10/31/dining/carrots-gain-bigger-roles-at-some-restaurants.html?_r=0

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Response to Barack_America (Reply #43)

Sun Nov 4, 2012, 11:20 PM

49. Reminds me of "fig-gate" in San Francisco

From Bon Appetit:

"San Franciscans still smart over "Fig-Gate"—the bicoastal war of words ignited by Manhattan chef David Chang's griping at a food conference in late 2009 that "f---ing every restaurant in San Francisco is serving figs on a plate with nothing on it." Translation: Bay Area chefs can't stop worshipping at the Alice Waters altar, eternally showcasing local produce without interference—or, sadly, innovation—from the kitchen. Chang had a point. San Franciscans knew it, and lamented that New York had become the center of the American food universe."

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Response to Barack_America (Reply #43)

Mon Nov 5, 2012, 01:14 AM

62. I read about that trend in Sunset magazine--that the new thing is to prepare

carrots in weird but minimalist ways so that you concentrate on the very essence of the carrot, or some such horseshit.

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Response to TwilightGardener (Reply #62)

Mon Nov 5, 2012, 01:33 AM

70. Uh-huh. Use enough words and you can sell a shaved carrot for $40 a plate

Just smear some crap on the plate, add a single thinly shaved carrot, write a bunch of b.s. on the menu and voilà - $40 carrot.

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Response to Barack_America (Reply #43)

Mon Nov 5, 2012, 12:15 PM

116. The elementary school lunch ladies have been on this for years. "Carrot coins" anyone?

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Response to Matariki (Reply #35)

Mon Nov 5, 2012, 12:34 AM

57. another sign that this segment of the population has too damn much money. smoked fucking *water*

 

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Response to Matariki (Reply #35)

Mon Nov 5, 2012, 11:25 AM

105. Brought to you by Chevron...

Is this the gas industry's PR effort to shore up the demand for water that you can light on fire?

Quench your thirst, or roast a brisket over it. Your choice, your water.

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Response to MrScorpio (Original post)

Sun Nov 4, 2012, 10:21 PM

41. No acai?

Or is that passe by now? Pretentious, much?

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Response to MrScorpio (Original post)

Sun Nov 4, 2012, 11:16 PM

45. Is that a joke? Live pate? wtf? Who fucking eats like that???

Way too much work.

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Response to progressivebydesign (Reply #45)

Mon Nov 5, 2012, 08:31 AM

84. I eat liver pate all the time

We call it chopped liver. Don't know about the other weird S#!* he eats.

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Response to MrScorpio (Original post)

Sun Nov 4, 2012, 11:18 PM

47. If you ate like that, you'd live to be 150, but you would hate your life.

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Response to begin_within (Reply #47)

Sun Nov 4, 2012, 11:32 PM

50. This guy cooks/eats 6 times a day. Eating crappy, tasteless food IS his life.

yuck.

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Response to MrScorpio (Original post)

Mon Nov 5, 2012, 12:09 AM

52. Never heard of 'em, and I'm a bit of a foodie. I just saw that he has 'Emu meatballs' on his

list though, too, along with 'cultured vegies' (which should be 'veggies' anyway) ... so it's a pretty hoity-toity little menu he's got there.

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Response to MrScorpio (Original post)

Mon Nov 5, 2012, 12:22 AM

53. How many trends can you fit into one advertisement?

Well, you just found out. Kudos, MrScorpio for finding this.

And this guy is a chef? I work in a high-end kitchen and I have yet to eat emu meatballs at 6:30pm, presumably when I'm slinging pans to serve my customers. And the very night I get to relax at 8:30pm with a whackadoodle health-fad muffin and spot of chamomile tea, I'll know only one thing for certain: I'm not working the line anymore.

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Response to MrScorpio (Original post)

Mon Nov 5, 2012, 12:23 AM

54. I'd rather be fat than eat Emu meatballs. nt

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Response to LittlestStar (Reply #54)

Mon Nov 5, 2012, 12:38 PM

123. I hear it tastes like ostrich

I don't think they're endangered, and for all I know they're farmed in Australia. If they are like ostrich, emu would be a lean red meat: that would be one of the least pretentious and closest to mainstream things on his menu.

I actually like liver pate, although I don't eat it often. A lot of the stuff on the menu makes him sound like the health-nut answer to Sandra Lee: no taste buds, doesn't know when to stop.

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Response to MrScorpio (Original post)

Mon Nov 5, 2012, 12:30 AM

55. let alone 'cultured' vegies & alkalised water. the guy eats emu meatballs for chrissake. Emu?

 

isn't it endangered or something? why would you eat emu in the US?

He looks like a serial killer.

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Response to HiPointDem (Reply #55)

Mon Nov 5, 2012, 09:18 AM

87. I think he is Australian

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Response to muriel_volestrangler (Reply #87)

Mon Nov 5, 2012, 11:46 AM

108. apparently living and working in the us, though.

 

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Response to HiPointDem (Reply #108)

Mon Nov 5, 2012, 11:59 AM

109. "Seven Network" is Australian

As is The Sunday Age, and 'ABC' means Australian Broadcasting Corporation in this case, I think.

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Response to muriel_volestrangler (Reply #109)

Mon Nov 5, 2012, 12:02 PM

110. my error, then.

 

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Response to MrScorpio (Original post)

Mon Nov 5, 2012, 01:01 AM

58. I've sworn off inert almonds

They're just not that exciting

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Response to Canuckistanian (Reply #58)

Mon Nov 5, 2012, 09:21 AM

88. LOL....



I was scanning down this thread and laughed out loud. Had to give you a hug of thanks for the chuckle this Monday morning.



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Response to OneGrassRoot (Reply #88)

Mon Nov 5, 2012, 01:24 PM

126. ..

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Response to MrScorpio (Original post)

Mon Nov 5, 2012, 01:13 AM

60. It's gettin' REAL

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Response to MrScorpio (Original post)

Mon Nov 5, 2012, 01:14 AM

61. Y'know, the problem is...

after eating $75 worth of food in one day, he still looks like the poster child for Biafra Relief.

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Response to MrScorpio (Original post)

Mon Nov 5, 2012, 01:18 AM

64. I had to look this up:

Cultured Vegetables: Cultured vegetables are made by shredding cabbage or a combination of cabbage and other vegetables and then packing them tightly into an airtight container. They are left to ferment at room temperature for several days or longer. Friendly bacteria naturally present in the vegetables quickly lower the pH, making a more acidic environment so the bacteria can reproduce. The vegetables become soft, delicious, and somewhat "pickled."

http://bodyecology.com/articles/cveggies.php#.UJdZk4aj7q0

Just ick!

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Response to Le Taz Hot (Reply #64)

Mon Nov 5, 2012, 01:38 AM

71. And *that* is called *fucking* sauerkraut by non-assholes

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Response to Matariki (Reply #71)

Mon Nov 5, 2012, 02:12 AM

73. Or kimchi. :) n/t

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Response to MrScorpio (Original post)

Mon Nov 5, 2012, 01:28 AM

67. *I* think that dude eats some weird shit.

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Response to MrScorpio (Original post)

Mon Nov 5, 2012, 01:31 AM

68. This diet will help you lose weight

because you will not be able to afford groceries for the rest of the month.

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Response to Tabasco_Dave (Reply #68)

Mon Nov 5, 2012, 10:02 AM

98. or because you won't want to eat it (unless you add Tabasco!)

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Response to SaveAmerica (Reply #98)

Mon Nov 5, 2012, 10:48 PM

134. How much Tabasco would you need to consume that?

They have gallon jugs of it at institutional food stores, but most people frown on using a whole one a day.

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Response to MrScorpio (Original post)

Mon Nov 5, 2012, 01:31 AM

69. Anyone want to hazard a guess at what this all costs?

I have a feeling that, even if I could find these ingredients, they'd be ridiculously out of my price range.

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Response to MrScorpio (Original post)

Mon Nov 5, 2012, 02:39 AM

75. man, his shit is probably healthier than half the stuff I eat....

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Response to MrScorpio (Original post)

Mon Nov 5, 2012, 07:17 AM

77. Pretentious asshole. n/t

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Response to MadrasT (Reply #77)

Mon Nov 5, 2012, 07:24 AM

78. Exactly. You beat me to it.

The answer to the OP's question is;

It means he is pretentious.

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Response to MrScorpio (Original post)

Mon Nov 5, 2012, 07:54 AM

80. A new kind of enema. You can eat it or just read it. Either causes a movement.

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Response to MrScorpio (Original post)

Mon Nov 5, 2012, 07:58 AM

81. That's nuts

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Response to MrScorpio (Original post)

Mon Nov 5, 2012, 07:58 AM

82. Ack!


Of course you would lose weight. You would blow the grocery budget in a day or so. You would spend a bunch of time running around the kitchen trying to get this mess prepared. I would have quite the time trying to choke that stuff down, and keeping it down.

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Response to MrScorpio (Original post)

Mon Nov 5, 2012, 09:15 AM

86. This thread is my favorite thing in the whole world.

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Response to MrScorpio (Original post)

Mon Nov 5, 2012, 09:28 AM

90. Apparently there is a hidden button on almonds that you have to press to make them healthier.

I never could find the button. So, none of the almonds I have ever eaten were activated. The damn batteries were probably dead in all my almonds anyhow.

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Response to Jamastiene (Reply #90)

Mon Nov 5, 2012, 09:59 AM

96. The 'free' batteries that come

with the activated almonds are really crappy. You always have to run out for some Duracells.

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Response to MrScorpio (Original post)

Mon Nov 5, 2012, 09:42 AM

91. This diet sounds almost obsessive-compulsive

I mean, does he spend his entire day making these things and then eating them?

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Response to LiberalEsto (Reply #91)

Mon Nov 5, 2012, 09:50 AM

93. He has to spend part of the day grinding up emus. And then

it's time to alkalize his water...

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Response to TwilightGardener (Reply #93)

Mon Nov 5, 2012, 02:19 PM

127. First he has to catch and kill the emu

then he can start grinding it.

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Response to LiberalEsto (Reply #127)

Mon Nov 5, 2012, 10:55 PM

135. You can buy emu pre-killed, but I'm not sure you would want to

http://buyexoticmeats.com/emumeats.html

One pound of ground emu is $29.95. He probably gets four meals out of a pound, which means not only does this part of his daily diet cost him $7.50 but he subscribes to the same culinary theory as the chef in one of the restaurants in town here who makes meatloaf out of Kobe beef...using $30 meat to do what $3 meat will do just as well, makes the dish ten times better.

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Response to MrScorpio (Original post)

Mon Nov 5, 2012, 09:48 AM

92. Dude sure eats a lot of activated almonds.

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Response to MrScorpio (Original post)

Mon Nov 5, 2012, 09:53 AM

94. Posted this link on my facebook page

Favorite reply so far: "hilarious. who are these people I need to be with them everyday"

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Response to MrScorpio (Original post)

Mon Nov 5, 2012, 09:55 AM

95. Eat food, not too much, mostly plants.

What a vitalist nut ball.

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Response to GoneOffShore (Reply #95)

Mon Nov 5, 2012, 02:20 PM

128. Really. You know how I lost 65 lbs.?

I just didn't eat as much and stayed away from fast food. I did have a daily healthly smoothie, but then grazed/nibbled on anything else I wanted. I did replace most sugar with stevia, but that's no biggie.

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Response to MrScorpio (Original post)

Mon Nov 5, 2012, 10:02 AM

97. he must spend all day "cooking"

What living, breathing person eats like this...?

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Response to MrScorpio (Original post)

Mon Nov 5, 2012, 10:08 AM

99. "Pete Evans cops Twitter rampage after activated almonds meal diary"

http://www.hospitalitymagazine.com.au/food/news/pete-evans-cops-twitter-rampage-after-activated-al

"The hashtag #activatedalmonds has overtaken 'Melbourne Cup' in the Twitterverse, trending at number one, according to The Age, with sarcastic tweets including "whilst #activatedalmonds have been copping it, I'm a little disturbed by the elitist overtones of 'cultured vegetables'" by @ohno_its_Hayley and "Just as well #Pete Evans eats all those grains and #activatedalmonds - means his colon squeaky clean when he disappears up it" by @cocococo10."

Read the comments.

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Response to ceile (Reply #99)

Mon Nov 5, 2012, 10:17 AM

102. LOL

Love this:

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Response to ceile (Reply #99)

Mon Nov 5, 2012, 10:32 AM

103. So, basically, from that article, it says:

"Activated nuts are raw organic almonds that are soaked for 12 hours to deactivate the enzyme inhibitors in them, then dehydrated for 24 hours to make them crunchy again."

Couldn't a person just eat the almonds immediately and not waste 36 hours (12 wetting them and then 24 drying them back out again)? That's just ridiculous. No wonder he is losing weight. Half the crap on his list sounds like the stuff you'd either want to bury or throw in the face of whichever pretentious asshole invented it. Some people have too much money and too much time on their hands.

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Response to ceile (Reply #99)

Mon Nov 5, 2012, 10:33 AM

104. Too funny

Love the guy that edited it down to "coffee, pancakes, chips, coffee, lasagne and Tim Tams". My throat hurts from laughing !!

Thanks for that link.

DAMN that's funny.

I love how in his own defense he says people are "offended" by his food choices. No they're not you pretentious nitwit, they think they are ridiculous.

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Response to MrScorpio (Original post)

Mon Nov 5, 2012, 10:16 AM

101. 'Activated' almonds are brainwashed cashews who have been awakened with a special cue word.

The word is: Brobdingnagian.

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Response to MrScorpio (Original post)

Mon Nov 5, 2012, 11:31 AM

107. Emu meatballs? Cacaou nibs? Goij and Stevia muffin?

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Response to Tommy_Carcetti (Reply #107)

Mon Nov 5, 2012, 12:37 PM

122. Wanna meet the guy who has to harvest the emus for this dude.

He must hate his life.

Seriously, this whole menu oozes "Hi, I have a personal chef and I make gabillions of dollars a year, because otherwise I would literally go on a serial murdering rampage with a spoon if I had to prepare all this shit myself".

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Response to MrScorpio (Original post)

Mon Nov 5, 2012, 12:03 PM

111. Frankly, it's the deactivated almonds you should worry about...

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Response to MrScorpio (Original post)

Mon Nov 5, 2012, 12:14 PM

114. The pretentiousness is burning my eyeballs.

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Response to Dash87 (Reply #114)

Mon Nov 5, 2012, 02:32 PM

130. It's indistinguishable from a comic stereotype of pretense

I didn't believe this was real at first

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Response to MrScorpio (Original post)

Mon Nov 5, 2012, 12:15 PM

115. Were they sleeper almonds before they were activated? n/t

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Response to cynatnite (Reply #115)

Mon Nov 5, 2012, 12:25 PM

118. 5th column almonds?

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Response to MrScorpio (Original post)

Mon Nov 5, 2012, 12:40 PM

124. OMG! "Manchurian Almonds!"

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Response to MrScorpio (Original post)

Mon Nov 5, 2012, 02:29 PM

129. What a bunch of pretentious activated elitist horseshit

Can't find, couldn't afford, wouldn't enjoy

Emu meatballs? Why emu? Turkey won't work?

By the way, technically, eggs aren't free range. Chickens are free range...eggs just sit there.

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Response to MrScorpio (Original post)

Mon Nov 5, 2012, 10:37 PM

132. Ughh, that food sounds revolting

 

emu meatballs? No thanks.

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Response to MrScorpio (Original post)

Mon Nov 5, 2012, 10:38 PM

133. Ughh, that food sounds revolting

 

emu meatballs? No thanks.

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