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Callmecrazy

Profile Information

Name: Michael
Gender: Male
Hometown: Las Vegas, Na
Home country: USofA
Current location: Fort Lauderdale, Fl.
Member since: Mon Jul 9, 2012, 02:31 PM
Number of posts: 1,973

Journal Archives

I like beer...

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Hvanig tublroe rdanieg tihs?

Did you konw taht if you keep the frsit and lsat lteetr in the rgiht palce you sohlud be albe to raed it eliasy? It's how the biarn rades wdros and not ltetres. Cool huh?

85 degrees, mostly sunny and a free concert ...

on the beach at Las Olas and the A1A.
Got a rump roast in the crock pot for dinner.
Towel-check
Sunscreen-check
Beach chair-check
Flask- two of 'em
I'll let y'all know how it goes. Wish me luck.

Hello? (knock, knock, knock) HELLO? Is this thing on?

Is Sunday morning AND I CAN'T FIND THE LOLCATS!
Who had them last?
Could sumbuddy pleeze find dem?
I'm callin da POlice.
Sumbuddy give SCE a wake up call
Kthanxbai

A little love for the snowed in DUer's

Think Warm!

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Just bought an ice cream maker...

It'll make a full gallon of ice cream. Then I read the recipes and have come to the realization that making your own wonderful sweet and creamy treat will cost you about $18.00/gal.
This better be the best fucking ice cream in the world.

Anybody got any good ideas for flavors?

I was at the grand opening of a Walmart the other day...

and the management was handing out tickets to people that were waiting in line. Take a guess what all these people were there for...

Quiz Time! Movie lines...

What movie was this line from?

"I'll tell you what I know. Tell me if this sounds familiar. There was no dope on that boat."


Let's hear some more...

Everybody sit down and shaddup...

Game of Thrones is on and I don't want to hear any noise.

Talk about getting the heebie-jeebies...

I'm at my mom's house this weekend. After a two hour drive, a huge dinner, and a few too many cocktails I hit the rack at about 10:00 pm. I roll over onto my back in the middle of the night and blink a few times and I see a cockroach on the ceiling. Not a run-of-the-mill cockroach but a Florida cockroach called a Palmetto bug. Long, skinny disgusting little creatures with antennae flicking about like bull whips.
Now, no person can sleep with a bug watching them and I was hoping he'd move along.
No dice. Just sitting there. So what to do?
I stumbled through the dark house to the pantry and got the broom. Good idea, huh?
So I get back to the bedroom and spot my target. I take aim.
I shove the broom at the little bastard and hit the spinning fan blade instead. Only glancing the bug and send him falling onto the bed where he regains his footing and scurries off the side of the bed and disappears. I look and look but I can't find the fucker and I just know he's here somewhere.
I give up and lay back down, trying to forget about the little fucker.
Not happening. Every little sound makes me think it's him. I think I'm asleep but there's definitely no REM happening. I feel a hair on my leg twitch and I snap awake. Of course there's nothing there.
So I'm laying there drifting in and out when I feel something touch my foot. I'm dreaming I think. I feel movement again, snap awake to find the cat looking to cuddle. I close my eyes again and I feel the cat crawl onto my chest and start purring. I'm safe I thought and start to drift back off.
But the cat, being a cat, thinks that its play time and starts thumping on my chest. I open my eyes, ready to give the fur ball a talking to and what do I see? Of course, the cat has got that goddamn roach in his mouth, still alive and kicking and he's playing tag with it-ON MY CHEST! Antennae flicking at my face!
I freak out. The cat goes flying, leaving the dirty little roach behind. I jump outta bed and go after the bug but he gets away again! No going back to sleep this time. It's about 7:00 am and my step-dad is making coffee and I tell him about my little adventure with the cockroach.
"Wait til you hear the possum under the house." he said.
Great. Another sleepless night.
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