HomeLatest ThreadsGreatest ThreadsForums & GroupsMy SubscriptionsMy Posts
DU Home » Latest Threads » hollysmom » Journal
Page: 1 2 3 Next »


Profile Information

Member since: Mon Feb 27, 2012, 04:19 PM
Number of posts: 4,566

Journal Archives

when do you give up an walk away?

Brother is a drinker with bottles (hidden poorly) everywhere, I was estranged from his family due to his wife thinking I took his side too much. Well, they did not help by screaming and setting him up for DUI's by giving him booze and then sending him to the store. Did I say he was not bright. After Mom died, he really had to stay with them. but he worked hard and earned good money and fought a lot. I lived my pleasant little life without him in it. Then his wife died and no one knew what to do with him. He went into a tail spin and cried and would not bathe, and would not move. I went over to spend time with him to remind him of the good things in life, to assure him he could make choices, he needed to control his own life and not be dependent on his 30 year old single daughter. I will not take him in. I went over and tried to help him get an apartment or even just out of the house, I walked him through the ads and then went to pick him up to look at the ones he picked, he was drunk, and would not bathe and would not even entertain leaving and then went ion to a 1/2 hour spiel of what I could do with my genitals, a lot of which I had never heard before. Look, I have been yelled at, screamed at a lot of times, but even my ex never cursed at me. Meanwhile brother was over there and smirking, I knew he felt powerful doing it trying to drive me out - so I gave him his wish I left and have not returned, now his house is about to be sold from under him, it is in foreclosure, can I just walk away and not look back? His 20 something daughters are lost, but they gave him beer to keep quiet like their mother, bad bad. And they ignore his bad behavior, which I find hard to do not having to deal with crap for decades. One has small children and the other is on the verge of getting married.

fyi I was married to an alcoholic,and went to alanon, changed myself and for some reason that kind of made him change himself, I learned to just walk away if he wanted to drink and he really hated that. But it took him years to get sober and me filing for divorce. We were married 20 more years after that and he said he could not even imagine drinking again because he loved his life so much. So been there, done that,. This is more immediate though, decisions have to be made. I could walk away and let the sheriff throw him out when someone buys the beautiful house on foreclosure sale. I could buy his house and leave him there to rot. (it would take a lot of my savings, but I could do it. ) eventually the power and heat and water would be turned off. I can never ever take him in to live with me. EVER. so can you walk away and let someone on the street in the winter?

Time for me to go back to al anon, but kind of have to decide where I stand much sooner.

blowing off steam - I hate HATE the GE ads on TV

yes I worked for GE when Jack Welch ruled, ruined that company (made lots of money but disemboweled the company). I worked fora purchased subsidiary that he used to help him strip RCA of it's assets, like moving older workers over to our company so he could steal their pensions. He also closed down all R&D because he felt that was a waste of money, and sold off RCA technology off to a Dutch firm, them absorbed manufacturing into the GE umbrella before selling more stuff off. but that is just my hatred of all things GE.

about the ads though, have you noticed how it is insulting to everyone except nerdy young men? The parents are too dumb to understand his new job - ageism. The girls (there are not really women here) are not only too dumb to code, that is just for the guys there, but think cats with hats is so much more important than hospitals. I scream turn off the sound or change the station when those ads are on, I hate to think of what the next bunch of ads will be.

Holly is ignoring the elephant in the room

Record N.J. lottery sales are no windfall; worst returns in 40 years fuel vendor criticism

Christie strikes again, I missed it when Christie privatized the lottery, but the magic is the same, people spending more on the lottery but the return is the worst.
Ticket sales have topped $3 billion for the first time, but New Jersey’s lottery expects to send only $930 million back to the state to help fund social service programs — the lowest rate of return in nearly four decades.

In the past, record sales most often translated to record dollars back to the state for school nutrition programs, education scholarships and housing for disabled veterans, money required to be funneled to the budget by the law that created the lottery itself.

But New Jersey isn’t expecting those record sales to translate to the state budget for fiscal 2015, which ended in June, the first full year since the lottery’s sales and marketing was outsourced to a group that spent heavily on lobbying firms led by Governor Christie’s closest allies.

is anyone really surprised?
But for all its shortfalls in payments to the state, the group hasn’t paid a dollar in penalties, thanks to a buffer in its 15-year contract with the state that was approved by Christie, a Republican, over the objections of the Democratic-controlled Legislature.

passing of memebers

I wonder if we could have a section where we could post about people who have passed. Like a memorial section with a thread for each member who has passed recently and a while ago, so people could post about them and their more notable posts.

survivor guilt?

survivor guilt?

If this is in the wrong place ,just tell me and I will delete it.

here is my story
I come from a large family, over 75 first cousins and several siblings. cancer is pretty rare but it has a way of striking strangely like my Mother in law dying in my arms 30 years ago. One aunt who had several cancer incidents until it finally killed her, but she worked on a nuclear submarine base in the 50's, I always thought that was why.

about 5 years ago my cousin went for an annual check up, and she was very precise on her check ups since her father died in his 20's. She was diagnosed with stage 4 Uterine cancer and 2 weeks later she was dead - it was so fast. She was just 40.
4 years ago, I, who am very bad on gynecological visits, checked in with a gynecologist because I had some unexplained bleeding and it was not a bladder infection. She said my walls were to think and kept sending me for tests and I fought her every step of the way. After finally having a biopsy under anesthesia, they discovered a littl cancer in me. after the operation, the doctor laughingly called is stage 0 because it was so teeny they could barely find it, it was so innocuous I did not even have to see the oncologist after one visit. I was so lucky, but the funny thing, that was not the cause of the bleeding, that was a whole other thing I had to take care of, a corrosion on my bladder, not an infection, not a cancer. I really ducked a bullet
so forward to today, I am going to a funeral tomorrow of my 50 year old Sister in law. She had regular check ups, she had a gynecological check up 2 months ago and they found nothing, but 2 weeks ago, she started to bleed and went to the doctor and they found her with stage 4 uterine cancer, and in two weeks she is dead.

These two woman had people who depended on them,. children, husbands, and a long life to look forward to. Me, I have no children the only one who depends on me is my dog (and she is really used to my ways! no one else will do, ha ha). But as far as people, I have friends and some family that will miss me, but I can go a week without talking to anyone, and I have had a great life, and am now 70. I just can't figure out why thm and not me? I know that my brother said his wife said, well it is cancer, but your sister did OK, she was sure it would be no big deal but dead in 2 weeks. So hard to understand. Cancer sucks and is mostly random.

is the word midget now considered an insult?

I have to admit I used it the other day and than though, oh, I should not have said that I should have said short person. I think that it was an acceptable word most of my life but not now. i was talking about low ceilings and a house built for not tall people. Luckily, the guy i said it to was my age and did not flinch.

edited for typos.

when it was bad news and it is hidden

how can we discuss it. I realize that it is a troll article but it is also a political salvo and there is no way to take it down in the internets,. It is out there, shouldn't we discuss it and resolve what to do when the attacks get nasty? This is going to be one disgusting election to be sure, still we have to be aware and have answers at the ready.

Or is it just me and it would be better to pretend it is not out there? Strikes me they put tehe attack at a liberal source instead of the usual conservative blogs to strike.

Alone watchers?

this is the most real reality program ever.
I swear, I don't know how long it will last but some of these bear things seem really close calls. I can't believe they are only 5 days in and so many have left, but with cougars, bears and rain, I can see it happening. I wonder if that one guy will finish his cabin

on a day when we honor the war dead, let us not forget Jeff Sessions

who would hurry some service people to qualify,
he is the one who said that the living US veterans felt they were 'entitled" to medical care after their service and we could not afford it, yet he is champing for a new war
GOP Senator Jeff Sessions thinks providing healthcare to veterans is an “entitlement” we cannot afford
But, for some Republicans, that support for our men and women in uniform ends the day they return home and are in need of healthcare services. That faux support was never more clear than yesterday when Alabama Republican Senator Jeff Sessions said we just can’t afford a bill to help out veterans dealing with the tragedy of unnecessarily long waiting periods to get treated at VA hospitals:


The Senate on Wednesday overwhelmingly passed a bipartisan measure aimed at easing healthcare delays for veterans by giving them more access to private care and allowing the Department of Veterans Affairs to open more clinics and hire more medical staff.
The 93-3 vote in the Democratic-led Senate followed unanimous passage on Tuesday in the Republican-controlled House of Representatives of a similar bill to address a crisis that has embarrassed the Obama administration and prompted Veterans Affairs Secretary Eric Shinseki to quit.

I feel strongly we’ve got to do the right thing for our veterans. But I don’t think we should create a blank check, an unlimited entitlement program, now.

I bet he is out giving speeches and shaking hands today and talking abut how he supports the military.
Go to Page: 1 2 3 Next »