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Ron Obvious

Profile Information

Name: Ron
Gender: Male
Home country: Middle Earth
Current location: Seattle
Member since: Tue Dec 13, 2011, 11:37 PM
Number of posts: 4,210

About Me

I got the nickname Ron Obvious because -- in addition to being a huge Python fan -- my name really is Ron and I used to start sentences with \"Obviously\" a lot. Obviously, that\'s no longer a problem.

Journal Archives

The human side of Pep Guardiola

I know I've been critical of Pep here over the years. I still think he's a fraud as a manager, but I defy anyone to watch this video and not smile:

Any suggestions for a movie marathon?

As I mentioned in another post, Mrs. Obvious and I will be celebrating Christmas in what has become a tradition here at Obvious Manor:

"Mrs. Obvious and I will once again spend Christmas day watching an all-day movie marathon of related movies. We've done all three Back to the Futures last year, all the Planet of the Apes the year before that and all Lord of the Ringses before that. We'll not shower or get dressed properly and gorge on brick oven-baked pizza."


We've also done Star Trek, Alien(s), the Jurassic Park Series, and 2001/2010 in previous years, but I'm not sure what to watch this year. I realise this is late in the day, but I'd appreciate any suggestions.

Suggested by others so far:

The Godfather (vetoed by Mrs. Obvious)
The Hobbitses (suggestion greeted coldly by your humble correspondent)
Rocky (vetoed by both of us).

Anyone? Thanks in advance!

List of restricted things on US network TV and Airline TV

Found this while cleaning up a hard drive. I don't have a source, and google only reveals it being quoted on a French website, so I can't vouch for the accuracy. Still, I thought it was interesting.

The following is to be used as a guide only. It is not possible to include every visual or language restriction, and we must rely on the discretion and common sense of the producer, director and/or editor to ensure necessary coverage. If an action or word is questionable, please cover, replace or delete it for the airline or television version.

Visual and Audio Restrictions
• airplane crashes/mechanical problems/airline names or logos (for airline versions only)
• Explosions and fiery visuals need to be trimmed and the audio needs to be softened for airline
• nudity - both front and back (derrieres, G-strings and pasties are also not acceptable)
• female nipples (exposed or visible through clothing)
• fornication/coitus position/pelvic thrusts/humping/bumping and grinding
• fondling of breasts/groin
• kiddie porn
• “snuff” porn
• bestiality
• masturbation
• defecation
• urination
• flipping the bird/traditional arm gesture/masturbation gesture
• grabbing one’s parts/genitals/breasts and derriere
• gratuitious violence/blood/squibs
• Dead bodies with eyes open
• impact of bullets/knives/multiple bullet/knife wounds
• injections where you can see the needle entering the body/sharp objects penetrating bodies
• humans and animals on fire/electrocuted
• slamming humans and animals into/through glass or into objects
• kicking or beating of humans and animals
• severe injuries to humans/animals (e.g. car running over body)
• product identification (e.g. repeated shots or close-ups of Coke bottle, Kellogg’s Corn Flakes box, etc.) (Networks TV only)
• Cigarette smoking (ABC only)
• Quoting of non-fact-based statistics. (Network TV only)
• Practical jokes/imitable behavior. (ABC & NBC only)
• The only telephone numbers which are cleared for broadcast are 555-0100 through 555-0199.
• Visuals of World Trade Center, planes flying low/approaching buildings. Audio references to WTC or 9/11. (Airline only; ABC not currently allowing WTC visuals)

Language Restrictions

• any verbal references to plane crashes/airplanes in jeopardy (airline only)
• fuck (and all derivatives)/motherfucker/frigging/fricking/hitting skins/laid/get laid/bang/tapping ass/knockin’ boots/jump your bones/ball/bang
• wanker
• screw/screwed (in a sexual connotation)
• shit/scheist/crap/bullshit/bullspit/b.s./doo-doo/turd/take a dump
• Goddamn/Goddarn (“damn” is not usually acceptable to networks if it’s a “family film”)
• Jesus/Christ/Jesus Christ (When used as an expletive)
• bitch/son of a bitch/s.o.b.
• bastard
• piss/pissant/pissworm/pissing/pissed off/whiz/squirt/pee (not always acceptable)/take a leak
• come/cum/coming/orgasm/cream/jizz
• fag/faggot/queen/fairy/dyke/pansy/bull dyke/butch/pillow biter/fudge packer/rump ranger/cocksucker
• cunt/pussy/beaver/punany/poon tang/booty/boot/cootch/cherry/break the cherry/honey pot/snatch/fur/pink/monkey print/clitoris
• on the rag/on the plug
• prick/pecker/cock/cocksucker/dick/jimmy/tool/johnson/schlong/meat/putz/beef
• schmuck
• balls/cojones/nuts/chewing my eggs off
• ass/asshole/jackass/butt cheeks/butt crack/up my Lincoln Tunnel/cocoa factory/Hershey highway/brown-noser
• hot between the legs/moist between the legs/wet/juicy
• whore/slut
• nigger/schvartze/kike/chink/spic (and any other derogatory ethnic slurs)
• pubic hair
• dildo
• scumbag
• fart/cut one/cut the cheese
• tits/boobs/bloarts/knockers/hooters/nipples/nips
• masturbate/ejaculate/jerk off/jack off/jack me off/hand job/blow job/suck off/eat out/eat me/wax me
• 69/rimming
• erection/boner/hard-on/hump/ramrod/lube job/in deep
• hose gobbler/suck it/lick it/muff diver
• mouthing of profanities (fill with audible replacements)

Please note that any profanity spoken in a foreign language will also need coverage, as will profanity in subtitles.


Airline/TV ADR should be chosen carefully to fit lip movements and/or the context of the scene. The following are some suggested replacement words that are commonly used for TV ADR. Please contact Post Production Services (310-244-8914) if you need other suggestions or have any questions.

• fuck/fucking - damn, freak/freaking, very, fudge, fine (screw, frigging and fricking are not acceptable replacements)
• fucker – fella, fool, freak
• motherfucker - motherfool, motherlover, my brother, brother, punk, mother, mean freak/fella
• motherfuckin’ - motherlovin’
• goddamn – damn, dagnab, gosh-darn
• shit - stuff, squat, great, damn, no (“shoot” is not usually acceptable)
• Jesus - Jeez, gee, yeesh,
• Jesus Christ - Judas Priest, gee whiz, this is nuts, this is great, this is crazy, very nice, holy cow, I could cry, I could die, this is sad
• Christ - great
• bitch - brat, broad, babe, biddy, beast, mean (“witch” is not usually an acceptable replacement)
• son of a bitch - son of a gun/bum/buzzard, I don’t believe it
• bastard – monster, buzzard, bratty, bozo, beer keg, butthead, bully, butcher
• piss – pee, go, break
• pissed - ticked, mad, miffed
• pissed off - ticked off, put off
• orgasm - good time
• homo - honey, homosexual, gay
• fag/dyke - gay
• dick - jerk, dork, pig
• prick - pain, jerk, punk, pal
• balls - chops, guts, brains, bones
• blow me - kick me (“bite me” and “eat me” not acceptable)
• asshole - airhead, jerk, loser, armpit, animal, idiot, psycho
• ass - rear, neck, keyster, hide, skin, nose, schnozz, ear, butt, arm, face, behind, bod, head, tush
• whore - harlot, witch, tramp
• slut - tramp, slave
• nigger - brother
• peckerhead - peabrain, pinhead
• dickhead - pinhead
• booty - baby
• hittin’ skins - gettin’ down, having sex
• jerkoff - jerk, jerkhead, jughead
• scumbag/douchebag/dickwad - dirtbag, dummy, dumb guy, scum
• shut the fuck up - shut your mouth up
• cocksucker – con artist, crazy jerk, conehead
• bullshit - bull, bogus, nonsense, baloney, bull session, business
• bollocks – buttocks
• cunt – cow, chick, crone, git (for British films)

Dear Papa John's, your pizza is disgusting. Please deliver me another one for free.

Sincerely, Ron.

If this is obscure, it's in response to a Papa John's ad I just saw on Sky promising a free pizza if you don't like the one they delivered. Seems a bit of odd logic to me.

Stand by Me (Slowed-down, instrumental track not on soundtrack)

I was disappointed that this particular part of the soundtrack to the movie Stand by Me wasn't on the CD when I bought it. Fortunately, we live in the age of the internet and youtube now so I was able to track it down.

I think it's quite moving and sentimental (in a good way)

Two ducks check into a hotel.

So two ducks check into a hotel for a weekend of romance and illicit sex. Just as things are heating up, one of the ducks asks:

"Did you bring the condoms?"

"No", says the other duck. "I thought you brought them."

"Well, what are we going to do?", wails the first duck.

"I know", says the other duck. "We'll call room service!"

So they call room service, and yes, they do deliver condoms to rooms in this hotel.

Ten minutes later, there's a knock on the door and a liveried porter is there holding a box of condoms.

"Oh, terrific, you're a life-safer", quacks the first duck.

"Why, it's all part of the service", says the porter. "Would you like me to put it on your bill?"

"Why, NO!!", recoils the duck in terror, "What are you, some kind of pervert?!"

Post Removed

Drop Rooney already; Pogba is a big waste of money and Zlatan is a flat-track bully.

I couldn't sleep and got up at 3:30 AM to watch Watford - United. Watford's win was thoroughly deserved and enjoyed by me.

I still don't understand why Rooney hasn't been dropped years ago, both for Man U and England. What do/did SAF, Moyes, LVG, Mourinho and Hodgson see in him? Additionally, he's on £300,000 a week, when I wouldn't pay that for him as transfer sum. The guy is a complete passenger.

We were visiting my sister in Italy

We were sitting on her patio drinking wine, probably talking about the Champions League game that was going to be on that evening ,when her husband called and told her to turn on the TV.

It was unreal. Something from a movie - it couldn't be real. At that time they were saying that 50,000 people worked in those buildings during the day and that they might all be dead. Just imagine, roughly the entire casualty count of the entire Vietnam war lost in single day. I felt that life would never be the same again...

Over the next few days, while travelling around Rome and Florence, people from all sorts of nationalities made a point of talking to us and shaking our hands and telling us how they were with and behind us.

Although we lived 3,000 miles away from New York in Seattle, we felt like stand-ins for stricken America, and I suffered jaw cramp from the manfully determined look I felt obligated to return to those people who had come to shake our hand. Pity I'm rather lactose-intolerant to the milk of human kindness...

Just a few years later, most of the civilised world had turned against us because of the Iraq war and other excesses.

It took an exceptionally incompetent moron in the White House to turn all the goodwill we felt at that time into hostility in such a short period of time...

The amazing colour changing card trick

Richard Wiseman is an interesting guy. I highly recommend his book Quirkology on quirky phenomoma. This is a classic youtube video, if anything can be said to be a classic in that relatively new medium. Be sure to watch it to the end. It isn't what you think it is....

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