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Gender: Male
Hometown: Oakland, CA
Member since: Thu Oct 6, 2011, 03:00 PM
Number of posts: 8,173

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"What starts with F and ends with K?"

Link: http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/2cKrBT/6uqrZyqP:l3$0-n$@/www.funnyordie.com/articles/1348fe51b5/what-starts-with-f-and-ends-with-k

A first-grade teacher, Ms Brooks, was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asked, "Harry, what's your problem?"

Harry answered, "I'm too smart for the 1st grade. My sister is in the 3rd grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the 3rd grade too!"

Ms. Brooks had enough. She took Harry to the principal's office.

While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told Ms. Brooks he would give the boy a test. If he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the 1st grade and behave. She agreed.

Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.

Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"

Harry: "9."

Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"

Harry: "36."

And so it went with every question the principal thought a 3rd grader should know.

The principal looks at Ms. Brooks and tells her, "I think Harry can go to the 3rdgrade."

Ms. Brooks says to the principal, "Let me ask him some questions."

The principal and Harry both agreed.

Ms. Brooks asks, "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?"

Harry, after a moment: "Legs."

Ms Brooks: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?"

The principal wondered why would she ask such a question!

Harry replied: "Pockets."

Ms. Brooks: "What does a dog do that a man steps into?"

Harry: "Pants."

The principal sat forward with his mouth hanging open.

Ms. Brooks: "What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?"

The principal's eyes opened really wide and before he could stop the answer, Harry replied, "Bubble gum."

Ms. Brooks: "What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs?"

Harry: "Shake hands."

The principal was trembling.

Ms. Brooks: "What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' that means a lot of heat and excitement?"

Harry: "Firetruck."

The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the
teacher, "Put Harry in the fifth-grade, I got the last six questions wrong... "

Richard Viguerie: Conservative Third Party Would Boost 'Evil' Democrats, Be 'Dangerous For America'

More: http://www.rightwingwatch.org/content/richard-viguerie-conservative-third-party-would-boost-evil-democrats-be-dangerous-america

Republican direct-mail pioneer Richard Viguerie has a message for Tea Party Republicans considering forming a third party: The plan would be “dangerous for America” because it would result in the election of “evil” Democrats who would “rewrite the laws of this country so that people who that have our views and values may never win another election.”

In an interview with Phyllis Schlafly’s daughter Anne Cori on “Eagle Forum Live” this weekend, Viguerie said that the formation of a third party “does worse than just elect a Democrat.”

“If we have a strong third party movement, it would split the Republican vote and allow Democrats to win not only the presidency but govern most all states and the Congress,” he said. "And the Democrats being in many ways evil, I think, in their public policy approach, they would rewrite the laws of this country so that people who have our views and values may never win another election.”

“It would be so dangerous for America to split the Republican vote and allow Democrats to have super majorities that we may never win another election,” he said.

"Barton: Harry Reid Supports Citizens United Amendment Because He Is An 'Atheist Mormon'"

More: http://www.rightwingwatch.org/content/barton-harry-reid-supports-citizens-united-amendment-because-he-atheist-mormon

Ever since Sen. Tom Udall, D-N.M., proposed a constitutional amendment designed to restore to Congress and state governments the ability to regulate the raising and spending of money in elections, Republicans and conservatives have absurdly been decrying it as an effort to gut the First Amendment.

On today's "WallBuilders Live" radio program, David Barton attacked Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid for supporting this amendment, saying that his support for it proves that Reid is "an atheist Mormon" who doesn't realize that he will one day have to answer to God for trampling all over our God-given rights:

Barton: He has actually proposed an amendment to the U.S. Constitution that would re-write the First Amendment to take away original protections and limit the protections in the First Amendment.

What it also tells me is, and he's apparently a Mormon guy, that's fine. He is probably an atheist Mormon, Mormon in name only and the reason I say that is that so many Mormon folks are so conservative on the Constitution and such great defenders ... And so, when you look at what he's doing, the Bill of Rights is laid out in the Declaration of Independence, you start with the first belief that there's a Creator, the second belief that the Creator gives us certain inalienable rights, the third belief in the Declaration is that government exists to protect those rights inalienable rights.

Dear "Worst President" Poll Respondents,

I just want to say that Barack Obama has done a horrible job at being the worst president. He is a lousy tyrant, dictator, fascist, communist, warmonger, etc. People still have the freedom to follow religion or not. "White slavery" has not been established. There have been no black helicopters or FEMA camps. The government is not (and has been incapable of) reading all our thoughts. We've gone from losing jobs to having over 40 consecutive months of private sector job growth. Bin Laden is dead. The Constitution is still in tact and hasn't been trampled. There have been no new wars started thus far, and no more 9/11-type attacks here. He has not raised taxes on poor Americans, and he got rid of tax cuts for the rich. He ended the Iraq War, and has been drawing down the Afghanistan War. He signed the Fair Pay Act and reformed the country's health care system. And so on.
As for who is more deserving of this title, Reagan did raise taxes on the poor in addition to lowering top tax rates from how they were under Carter, and he got the country more engaged in the Cold War. And under him and both Bushes, the deficit and unemployment both increased. Under Bush ll, the administration started two wars and didn't care much about catching the culprits responsible for 9/11, and misled the country into believing that there were WMDs. Furthermore, none of these presidents dealt with news networks dedicated to criticizing their every move, or SC decisions allowing billionaire tycoons to "make it rain" when it comes to spending for negative ads against them, or Congresspersons who were more interested in obstruction than working together to see the country succeed.
With all of this in mind, I call on the community to strip Mr. Obama of his "Worst Post-WWll President" trophy. Thank you, and have a nice day.


"10 Instant Emotional Fitness Tools"

More: http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/25FnVU/6uqrZ-yl:mVJdza6J/www.psychologytoday.com/print/51019

When things get out of control and you momentarily lose your emotional balance, there are any number of little things you can do to regain it. Here are ten tools to help get you started.

1. Wash your hands and face and brush your teeth. It cools and cleans the parts of your body that you use most frequently, which is relaxing, and gives you that "fresh start" feeling.

2. Put on clean socks and some shoes that you haven't worn in a few days. Shoes take a day or two to release any moisture they have absorbed, and this is a very easy way to put a little pep back into your step.

3. Give yourself a good shave (face or legs). This is another instant refresher. Especially if you have sensitive skin or the weather is dry. Plus, when we know we are looking our best, we naturally feel better.

Which of these two things has been worse for America?

"4 Year Old Spoils Plot To Blame Black Neighbor For Home Robbery Done By White Teens "

"Republicans Lose to Democrats for 6th Straight Year in Congressional Baseball Game"

More: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/06/26/congressional-baseball-game_n_5532052.html?utm_hp_ref=politics

WASHINGTON -- For the sixth year running, Democrats beat their Republican colleagues in the annual Roll Call Congressional Baseball Game for Charity.

Although Republicans had high hopes going into the game with their change in coaching staff, Democrats easily bested them 15-6 Wednesday evening at Nationals Park.

The Democrats held a strong lead even early on, scoring three runs in the first inning and then again in the second. The Republicans seemed poised to make a comeback, though, as they brought the score to 6-3 by the end of the third and began playing stronger defense.

A few critical errors by pitcher Rep. Patrick Meehan (R-Pa.) in the fifth, combined with strong hits by Reps. Tim Ryan (Ohio) and Raul Ruiz (Calif.) for the Democrats, led to eight runs in one inning. Rep. Linda Sánchez (D-Calif.) impressed the crowd as well, getting the audience on their feet to cheer for the only female player in the game and hitting a line drive to get on first. At the end of the fifth, the score was 14-4, dashing any hopes for a Republican victory.

Cavuto vs. Bachmann on Impeachment


x-Post from GD: "Donald Trump calls Central Park 5 settlement 'A Disagrace'"

More: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/06/21/donald-trump-central-park-5_n_5517784.html

The five black and Latino men, who were then teens, were convicted in 1989 of raping a 28-year-old woman in Central Park. But DNA evidence and a confession by a serial rapist later cleared Antron McCray, Korey Wise, Kevin Richardson, Yusuf Salaa and Raymond Santana in 2002, after the five had spent as long as 13 years in prison.

In an op-ed published in the New York Daily News on Saturday, Trump calls the settlement a "disgrace."

My opinion on the settlement of the Central Park Jogger case is that it’s a disgrace. A detective close to the case, and who has followed it since 1989, calls it “the heist of the century.”

Settling doesn’t mean innocence, but it indicates incompetence on several levels. This case has not been dormant, and many people have asked why it took so long to settle? It is politics at its lowest and worst form.
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