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Flying Squirrel

Profile Information

Member since: Fri Aug 20, 2010, 06:40 PM
Number of posts: 2,957

About Me

I am the same DU member who formerly posted under the name FlyingSquirrel (no space) on DU2. If you are reading this as the result of an alert: I have never once claimed that I will not vote for the Democratic nominee this November. Ask for a link and read carefully. :)

Journal Archives

DUzy Awards (better late than never)...


Posted by Flying Squirrel | Fri Apr 18, 2014, 07:34 PM (0 replies)

*** DUzy Awards - Squirrel goes Flying at the Speed of Sound Edition (low formatting, IOW) ***

TGIF! And welcome to….


Special thanks to everyone who contributed to this edition -- either by:

responding to a post with "DUzy" in the subject line,

or by sending me a PM.

The DUzy awards couldn't happen without you!


The $100 Grilled Cheese Sandwich

Meet the "zillion dollar grilled cheese" available only this month at Deca Restaurant and Bar at the Ritz-Carlton hotel in downtown Chicago. Its price tag? $100. 

The sandwich features thin slices of black Iberico ham sourced from acorn-fed free-range pigs living primary in southern Spain, Ellis Family Farms heirloom tomatoes, 100-year-old aged balsamic vinaigrette and Oregon Perigord white truffle aioli, according to a press release. Even the bread -- artisan country sourdough cooked in Laudemio Marchesi de’ Frescobaldi extra virgin olive oil -- is fancier than most. 

And the kicker, of course, is the cheese: 40-year aged Wisconsin cheddar infused with 24k gold flakes. Yes, 24k gold flakes. 

Finally, this grilled cheese is topped with Hudson Valley foie gras and a sunny-side-up duck egg, plus lobster macaroni and cheese on the side. Because of course. 


10. Hold the gold flakes. I'm AUllergic. nt


79. Periodically, I ask people to table these element jokes.

That pun was Auful!



You ever get a call from the "Windows Technical Dept"?

Holy shit this was pretty funny. Some idiot calls me, says he's from the Windows Technical Dept and there is a problem with my computer and he's calling out of the goodness of his heart to help me out. 

So he goes into his spiel, "you computer is infected with many hacker viruses.. blah blah blah.." then he tells me I need to go to my computer and open my start menu. So of course being the obliging person I am I go to my computer and the fun begins: 

"Sir I need you to right click on your start menu and tell me what options you see" 

"Um, where is the start menu?" 

"In the lower left hand corner sir" 

"Nope I don't see it". 

"Sir it's the big button on the bottom left that says "start" 

"Nope no start menu". 

"Sir you must have a start menu did you rearrange your desktop?" 

"Nope, and no start menu" 

"Sir what do you see on your screen?" 

"Well I see a giant Linux Logo" 

That was when he called me an asshole and hung up. You gotta love when a scammer gets mad because you didn't fall for the scam. 

So just FYI if the Windows Technical Dept calls you, it's bullshit


Omaha Steve  

Hillary Clinton’s Shoe-Throwing Assailant Identified as Alison Michelle Ernst

Source: American Live Wire

Posted by: Jordanna 

Authorities: Suspect wore sandals, indicating she brought extra footwear to toss. 

Alison Michelle Ernst, charged with throwing a sneaker at Hillary Clinton during a convention speech Thursday, has been escorted by security guards before. She made a scene in Colorado in 2012 at a hearing for James Holmes, the mass shooter who attacked a movie theater showing a ‘Batman’ movie. 

Alison Michelle Ernst, 36, of Phoenix, was identified Friday as the footwear-flinging assailant who targeted the former First Lady one day earlier. 

Colorado officials also confirmed she was the woman escorted from a court hearing in August 2012 for the suspect accused of killing 12 people and wounding another 70 in an Aurora movie theater. 

FULL story at link. 

Blue Owl  

1. May God have mercy on her sole



10. Hey! Put a sock in it!


6. she has been escorted by secruity before, you mean they gave her the boot?

but she only threw a sneaker.

Laffy Kat  

17. It was a sneak-attack. nt


24. Next time attach a ten to the shoe before you throw it and it will be protected speech!

Never forget kids money = speech in America! 



Your first computer specs (you owned not used)

386 processor 16 megahertz with 4 megabytes of ram and 40 megabyte hard drive.


1. oops wrong forum...

Sorry meant this for lounge... 

Let it ride or lock..


11. Hold on a sec....


Ok, now it's fit for GD. Please continue.


Judi Lynn  

'Jesus's Wife' papyrus fragment not a forgery, scientists say

Source: Reuters

'Jesus's Wife' papyrus fragment not a forgery, scientists say 
By Jonathan Allen 
Fri Apr 11, 2014 1:52am IST 

REUTERS - Scientists who examined a controversial fragment of papyrus written in Egyptian Coptic in which Jesus speaks of his wife concluded in papers published on Thursday that the papyrus and ink are probably ancient and not a modern forgery. 

The existence of the fragment, known as the "Gospel of Jesus's Wife," was made public at an academic conference in 2012. It is seen by some as a glimpse of how ancient Christians thought while decried by others, including the Vatican, as an absurd fake. 

Scientific studies performed over the last two years at various universities suggest both the ink and the papyrus are probably no newer than the 9th century and that the language and writing style are authentic for the period. 

"All of that points towards the papyrus being ancient and the papyrus having been written on in antiquity," Karen King, the Harvard Divinity School historian who first presented the fragment in 2012, told reporters on a conference call. 


1. This is a fascinating story.

"Jesus said to them 'Take my wife…" reads one snippet cut off by a torn edge, while other lines give the impression that Jesus receives little respect, and other feature a dialogue between Jesus and a disciple about the Susquehanna Hat Company.


4. "Take my wife...Please"


The Magistrate  

5. Thank You For The Laugh, Sir

I knew the routine was old, but Jesus.... 

Welcome to the forum, by the way.



Think of the brain power represented in this one image....

Imagine being a fly on the wall! 


4. On the other hand, think of the brain power represented in THIS image...


When I die,


5. When I'm brain dead

I'll finally be as smart as the average republican.



The true Teabagger flag...



HOLY %^%$ Governor Bans Minimum Wage Increases And Paid Sick Leave Laws (Oklahoma)

Governor Mary Failin 

Blue Owl  

18. Kochlahoma, where the rich come bringin' down the pain




Elusive 'Exotic Hadrons' Really Do Exist, CERN Research Shows

Source: HUFF POST Science

The existence of exotic hadrons — a type of matter that doesn't fit within the traditional model of particle physics — has now been confirmed, scientists say. 

Hadrons are subatomic particles made up of quarks and antiquarks (which have the same mass as their quark counterparts, but opposite charge), which interact via the "strong force" that binds protons together inside the nuclei of atoms. 

Researchers working on the Large Hadron Collider beauty (LHCb) collaboration at CERN (the European Organization for Nuclear Research) in Switzerland — where the elusive Higgs boson particle was discovered in 2012 — announced today (April 14) they had confirmed the existence of a new type of hadron, with an unprecedented degree of statistical certainty. 

"We've confirmed the unambiguous observation of a very exotic state — something that looks like a particle composed of two quarks and two antiquarks," study co-leader Tomasz Skwarnicki, a high-energy physicist at Syracuse University in New York said in a statement. The discovery "may give us a new way of looking at strong- interaction physics," he added.

Read more: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/04/15/exotic-hadrons-exist-cern_n_5153111.html 


1. That's cool but why do I keep reading "exotic hard ons?"

Nye Bevan  

12. If your exotic hadron lasts for more than 4 hours,

consult a particle physicist (nt)


5. I almost bought one.

I decided to go with the Ford instead.


Omaha Steve  

Missing 3-year-old boy found in claw machine at Lincoln bowling alley


By Micah Mertes / World-Herald staff writer Published Tuesday April 15, 2014 

A missing three-year-old Lincoln boy was discovered in a claw machine at a bowling alley Monday night. 

Lincoln Police Department got a call Monday about a missing boy. His mother told police he'd slipped out an unlocked door of their apartment while she was in the bathroom. 

After arriving at the scene, police were told a child matching the boy's description was at Madsen's Bowling & Billiards, 4700 Dudley St., across the street from where the boy lives. 

FULL story and VIDEO at link.


2. Police took the claw into custody for questioning

But so far it's not talon.


6. The boy fought the claw, but the claw won.


5. It is unconfirmed how many dollars the police needed to get him out

A spokesperson for the police said, "Every time we thought the claw had him, he would slip out of its grip." 

The police officer who eventually won, is believed to have expressed disappointment that he did not win a Spongebob Squarepants stuffed animal that was also in the machine.


15. Mammas, Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up To Be Clawboys ...

Gidney N Cloyd  

18. Pictures soon to appear in a repub sex-ed book under "Where Baby's Come From."

Gidney N Cloyd  

22. Chapter 2: Birth Control

Hold one of the quarters between your knees.



Bitter Josh Romney settles the score by tweeting pic of the back of Mitt's head

Supposedly "proving" that Mitt pays taxes every year. 



1. It was cheaper in the long run to mail the roll of pennies himself. nt



SHOE TRUTHERS --- Connect The Dots Here People!

Attempting to cover up this story, which is possibly THE MOST IMPORTANT SCANDAL IN UNITED STATES HISTORY!! I've made up a simple diagram of the 'crime' scene - this makes the entire scandal crystal clear! CONNECT THE DOTS HERE PEOPLE!!! (scribbles furiously on blackboard) 


4. Magic shoe! Magic shoe!


5. The zapato-rotorooter footage clearly shows that the other shoe

was not thrown at the angle in the diagram...therefore there must be a third shoeman!


11. Someone should inform the M$M, we've found the gassy troll!



Here Are the States Where Blowjobs Are Illegal But Necrophilia's Cool


16. I wish I knew how to quit ewe

Too many other DUzies on this thread for me today, please follow link:


Cooley Hurd  

Rapper Andre Johnson severs penis, jumps off building, but survives


Los Angeles (CNN) -- Rapper Andre Johnson severed his penis and jumped from a Los Angeles apartment building early Wednesday, police said. 
Johnson was seriously injured, but survived the fall from the second level of the building in North Hollywood, Los Angeles Police Sgt. William Mann said. 
Johnson, along with his recovered penis, was taken to Cedars-Sinai Medical Center, where he was being treated, Mann said. 


2. Ok, I'm old. Who is Andre Johnson?


3. The guy with a severed penis


6. Now he's just called Andre

arely staircase  

21. hey, not many people have executed the flying bobbit successfully

a very difficult trick.


39. Let's see....

9.8, 9.7, 9.9, 9.8, and a disappointing 7.6 from the Russian judge.....


44. He literally went off half-cocked.

That's got to be a first!



Guy urinates in reservoir, forcing Portland to discard 38 million gallons of water

Portland, Oregon is flushing 38 million gallons of drinking water down the drain because a 19-year-old man urinated in an open reservoir early on Wednesday morning, city water officials said. 

Three teens were observed at the reservoir in a Portland park at about 1 a.m. Wednesday, Portland Water Bureau spokesman David Shaff said, and one of them was filmed urinating through an iron fence into the water. 

The other two tried to climb the fence and one got into the secure area around the reservoir, but Shaff said it is not clear what he did then. 

The 50-million-gallon reservoir was taken off line and was tested for possible contamination and the results will be known Thursday. But in the meantime, the city has decided to "discard" 38 million gallons of water and clean the reservoir, Shaff said. 

Warren DeMontague  

1. Putting the pee in Portland



Glenn Beck Working on Movies, Doesn’t Want to ‘Waste Life’ on Politics (the new Walt Disney!!???)

Glenn Beck has previously expressed his desire to be less political and more like Walt Disney, and in an interview with The Hollywood Reporter, Beck reveals he’s working on three movies to make the kind of entertainment he would want to see more of in theaters. 

Beck’s company Mercury Radio Arts is working on building up a film division, and he says right now he’s working on three movies: “one set in ancient history, one in modern history and a third he considers ‘faith-based.’” For anyone that might wonder why the ex-Fox News commentator would get into the Hollywood game, Beck explains, “Everybody thinks they know who I am because of my stint on Fox — that was two years of my life. I’m much more into culture than I am into politics, and that’s where I intend on making my stand.” 

He doesn’t think Hollywood is doing enough to connect with the American people, people of faith particularly, and explains why he’s getting so tired of caring about politics, day-in, day-out. 

“We’re beginning to agree that Republicans and Democrats suck — they’ve built this machine to grind people into the ground. I hate this stuff. I hate politics. I hate politicians and I feel like I’m wasting my life. Don’t we all know what’s happening? George W. Bush was taking us down a road, and Barack Obama is taking us down that same road. What difference does it make? I don’t want to waste my life anymore.”

Tom Ripley  

1. Remakes of The Crying Game, Boys Don't Cry, Cry The Beloved Country, and Cry-Baby?


2. i laughed, i cried, i kissed 10 bucks goodbye


boston bean  

Why the Men's Rights Movement Is Garbage


MRAs believe that feminists are to blame for basically everything that's wrong with their lives. The Men's Rights Movement is a reactionary movement created specifically to counter feminism, and most (if not all) of their time and resources go towards silencing and marginalizing women. 

They do things like starting the Don't Be That Girl campaign, a campaign that accuses women of making false rape reports. They attend feminist events in order to bully and intimidate women, they flood online feminist spaces with threatening messages, and they regularly use smear campaigns and scare tactics to make the women who don't back down afraid for their physical safety. They do literally nothing to actually resolve the problems that they claim to care about, and instead do everything they can to discredit the feminist movement. 


6. MRA? Isn't that a bacterium?

Oh, wait...that's MRSA. 


178. MRS_A ? you sexist !



Fuck Yoo!

Yoo is confused 

by digby 

So John Yoo is widely considered to be a brilliant legal mind? 

John Yoo, a former deputy assistant attorney general and author of the 2002 memos advising the CIA’s use of enhanced interrogation techniques, said the Pulitzer committee’s decision did not vindicate Snowden. 

“I’m not surprised the Pulitzer committee gave The Washington Post a prize for pursuing a sensationalist story, even when the story is a disaster for its own country,” he said. “I don’t think we need automatically read the prize as a vindication for Snowden’s crimes. Awarding a prize to a newspaper that covered a hurricane does not somehow vindicate the hurricane, (and) awarding a Pulitzer for a photo of a murder does not somehow vindicate the crime.”


1. Fuck Yoo


2. stealing that

peace, kp


Jeff In Milwaukee  

How come the Fundies never quote this verse?

From the Epistle of James, Fifth Chapter: 

Now listen, you rich people, weep and wail because of the misery that is coming on you. 2 Your wealth has rotted, and moths have eaten your clothes. 3 Your gold and silver are corroded. Their corrosion will testify against you and eat your flesh like fire. You have hoarded wealth in the last days. 4 Look! The wages you failed to pay the workers who mowed your fields are crying out against you. The cries of the harvesters have reached the ears of the Lord Almighty. 5 You have lived on earth in luxury and self-indulgence. You have fattened yourselves in the day of slaughter. 6 You have condemned and murdered the innocent one, who was not opposing you.

Couldn't be clearer: God Hates the Koch Brothers!


4. Armaments, chapter two, verses nine to twenty-one.

And Saint Attila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying, 'O Lord, bless this Thy hand grenade that, with it, Thou mayest blow 
Thine enemies to tiny bits in Thy mercy.' And the Lord did grin. 
And the Lord spake, saying, 'First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then, shalt thou count to three. No more. No less. Three 
shalt be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, nor either count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then, 
obbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in My sight, shall snuff it.


Mike Daniels  

Run, Sarah, Run

Well, it was only a matter of time but some Tea-Bagger group is now actively trying to promote the idea of Sarah Palin running for Senate in Alaska. Will Sarah give them what they really want or just suck more of their hard-earned money out of their wallets? 

In the words of the classic Far Side cartoon where a dog is trying to lure a cat into a clothes-dryer - "Oh please, Oh Please". 



1. Their slogan is "Three more years! Three more years!"



More weird stuff for Easter baskets


3. MMMMM! Borios and a glass of smilk!


Here's hoping next week will be less chaotic….
Posted by Flying Squirrel | Fri Apr 18, 2014, 07:33 PM (23 replies)

*** DUzy Awards: What has been Deen cannot be unDeen edition (image warning!) ***

TGIF! And welcome to….


Special thanks to everyone who contributed to this edition -- either by:

responding to a post with "DUzy" in the subject line,

or by sending me a PM.

The DUzy awards couldn't happen without you!

On an OP by Laxman  

I've Got A Kangaroo Straight!

There's an old Abbott & Costello routine where the boys are playing cards with their landlord, Mr. Fields. I put the video below. Giving away the punchline, Abbott lays down his cards and he's got a 2, 4, 6, 8 & 10. Costello thinks he won the hand with two pair. Not so fast! That's a Kangaroo straight! It jumps from the 2 to the 4 and so on! How dumb can you be not to see that! Reminds me of the Mastro report where his logic and analysis of the facts jumps from one fact to the other to reach conclusions based upon inference and assumptions. You can read it here yourself if you have the stomach for it:http://apps.washingtonpost.com/g/page/politics/gibson-dunn-report-on-fort-lee-nj-lane-closures/894/ it actually made me laugh out loud a couple of times. 

I know I'm preaching to the choir here but the sheer intellectual dishonesty of the Mastro report is just downright offensive. We know about the missing key witnesses. That's bad enough. Additionally, not one person at the Port Authority was interviewed. Then he uses a legal principal to draw an adverse inference against Kelly and Wildstein for refusing to testify as part of their rights against self incrimination, but doesn't do the same with David Samson's refusal. (That's different-he's "The General") He takes Christie's story at face value. Never gives mention to the fact that Christie has given multiple conflicting versions of his story. There's a legal principal for that as well. Its called False in One, False in All-its a standard jury charge in all civil and criminal jury trials. (Liar Liar Pants on Fire) He finds Dawn Zimmer not truthful-based I guess on the fact that he's seen a number of episodes of Dr. Phil and is an expert in reading body language and other dark arts. And speaking of Dr. Phil, there's the pseudo-psychological treatment of Bridget Kelly-scorned woman. I guess it was just the extortion time of the month. But you all know the shortcomings in the report by now. 

Mr. Mastro then taunts us by refusing to release the supporting documentation. Never mind that it was paid for by the taxpayers. Never mind that his client is the "Governor's Office", not any person,and no privilege exists to justify his refusal to turn the material over. Its arrogance and disrespect for the public, the process and the right to know. And for those of you who think that Bridgegate is just about a traffic jam-think again. Its about highjacking the governing process for the personal use and advancement of a single person. It involves extortion, the misuse of billions in your federal tax dollars, official misconduct and a complete disregard for the citizens who Christie was elected to serve. Holding him accountable for those transgressions is important way beyond just New Jersey. 

So forgive my rant, but I like my logic and analysis somewhat linear and fact based and I don't like being played for a fool. I also dislike what my grandmother colorfully used to describe as "pissing on me and telling me its raining". I feel like clawing Mr. Mastro's eyes out, pouring gasoline in the sockets and lighting him up-to quote Christie's recently very silent mouthpiece Mike Drewniak. Why would someone try to pull something this ridiculous? Because they can and because we've been letting people get away with crap like this as a society for a long time-so when you find something that works-stick with it. But its high time for there to be consequences for this nonsense. Mastro's laughing all the way to the bank with over a million dollars in taxpayer money in his pocket. He raked in the pot with a Kangaroo straight- a made up winning hand. Somebody needs to pay. 


7. So did you take the kangaroo to a "pray the gay away" camp?


OP by malaise  

Jimmy Carter - can I have your baby

You have long been a fearless, decent man. 
It is lovely seeing you on TV tearing the assholes a new one 

You will be vindicated - trust me on that.


6. You got his attention.

Spitfire of ATJ  

22. You'll do it for peanuts?


On an OP by struggle4progress  

Maybe Try Julian? Couple Banned from Naming Son 'WikiLeaks'

By Andy Eckardt 

... The German official at Passau's registry office in the conservative state of Bavaria initially did not know what WikiLeaks meant, according to Hamalaw. 

"She thought I was presenting the name of a television show," Hamalaw said. "We were very disappointed after the rejection. Hundreds of people across the globe were allowed to use the name of Barack Obama's dog for their child, but I can't use WikiLeaks?" 

Germany does not have a list of approved names that parents can choose from for their children, but courts can rule whether a name risks endangering a child's welfare. 

Parents are prevented from naming their kids after towns or brands. In recent years, first names like Stompie, McDonald, Woodstock, Grammophon and Peppermint have been banned ... 


Erich Bloodaxe BSN  

2. I always said that if I had kids, I'd want two boys...

So I could name the first Bjorn, and the second Bjorn Again...


4. Was thinking of naming my next dog Wiki.

Maybe. Lots of ideas.


17. If you did there would be Wiki leaks ...

...all around your neighborhood. 


OP by PeaceNikki  

In bid for worst boss ever, Paula Deen closes restaurant without telling workers


As if Paula Deen weren’t already just about the worst person in the world you could work for, now we find out that she’s also among the worst bosses you could ever not work for. First there was that discrimination and harassment lawsuit — a story which we are contractually required to remind you wasbroken by Yr Wonkette. And while the suit was eventually dismissed, Deen’s teevee show was cancelled she lost her big-money endorsement contracts. Then Thursday morning, Deen suddenly closed down Uncle Bubba’s Seafood and Oyster House, the Georgia restaurant that she and her idiot racist brother Earl W. “Bubba” Hiers Jr. owned together. And just to add that extra dollop of shame-butter, employees at the restaurant didn’t find out about the closure until they showed up for work. We are beginning to think this Paula Deen is not an especially nice lady. 
The Savannah Morning News reports that employees had the privilege of collecting their severance checks in the parking lot. 

The only announcement of the closure was a short note on the restaurant’s FacePlace page saying, “Thank you for 10 great years. Uncle Bubba’s is now closed.” After commenters piled on to condemn Deen’s failure to inform employees in advance, the Facebook page is also now gone. 

But don’t worry! Everything’s going to be fine, at least for Paula and Bubba. In a statement from the restaurant’s PR firm, Key Group Worldwide, we learn that Deen and Hiers decided they’d “close the restaurant in order to explore development options for the waterfront property on which the restaurant is located … At this point, no specific plans have been announced, and a range of uses are under consideration in order realize the highest and best use for the property.” 

It’s a relief to know that they’re going to land on their slippery buttery feet! Oh, and the statement also promised that “All effort will be made to find employees comparable employment with other Savannah restaurant organizations,” so we bet that even if they didn’t bother telling the employees they’d be out of a job yesterday, Deen and Hiers are going to make up for it by working really hard to help them find news jobs — they’re just such nice, considerate folks, you know. Bubba will get right on making some calls, at least after he’s finished watching his porn. 

Vashta Nerada  

3. That picture is going to haunt me for the rest of the day.


5. What has been Deen cannot be unDeen.



On an OP by Archae  

Picture that just screams out..."TEABAGGER!!!"

Found it on another message board. 


16. I know what you are thinking - did I mail six letters or only five?

Many more DUzies on this thread - check my journal for last week's DUzy Awards if you missed them!


OP by Playinghardball  

Would you take a ride in this truck?

Some people can actually be this stupid... 


4. I want to be at the U-Haul when he returns it


13. Those are the most fucked up ice cream flavors ever.

I just want a King Cone...


OP by Enrique  

Holder plays asparagus card against Louie Gohmert

some vegetable fun in D.C. today 


Revenge and asparagus are apparently dishes best served cold — at least when served by Attorney General Eric Holder. 

After a testy exchange Tuesday with Rep. Louis Gohmert, a Texas Republican who had clearly gotten on his last nerve, Holder delivered a dose of ridicule. 

"Good luck with your asparagus," Holder said dismissively, in one of the most memorable moments of snark to occur in, oh, at least the last few hours between an Obama administration official and a Republican House member. 

To really appreciate the moment, you had to know that Holder — who's among the administration officials most detested by conservatives — was mocking a Gohmert malapropism from last year that was committed during another bilious hearing involving the attorney general. 

After Holder vigorously defended himself and his agency at that earlier hearing from Gohmert's accusation that the Justice Department failed to prevent the Boston Marathon bombing, a flustered Gohmert said: "The attorney general will not cast aspersions on my asparagus." 

Your guess is as good as ours at what the congressman was going for there.


5. Hilarious! Here's the original "asparagus" video:


On an OP by kpete  


David Wildstein, the NJ governor's man inside the Port Authority, replied to the infamous e-mail on "traffic problems in Fort Lee." 


In January, Wildstein refused to testify before a New Jersey legislative committee investigating last September’s George Washington Bridge lane closures, citing his 5th Amendment protection against self-incrimination. It was Wildstein’s cache of e-mails and texts, provided to the committee, that featured the instantly immortal exchange between Christie’s former deputy chief of staff, Bridget Kelly (“Time for some traffic problems in Fort Lee”) and Wildstein (“Got it”). 

Christie fired Kelly in early January. Both her lawyer and Wildstein’s have said their clients would cooperate with investigators in exchange for immunity from prosecution. The recently released, 360-page “Christie Report” -- commissioned by Christie, crafted by the same law firm Christie hired to answer investigators’ subpoenas of his own office, touted by Christie as “vindication,” and paid for by New Jersey taxpayers -- found that of all of the folks working in the governor’s, and all the others he appointed to executive positions at the PA, only Wildstein and Kelly had any knowledge that Fort Lee’s nightmare was caused by anything other than an ill-conceived but genuine Port Authority traffic study. 

The Christie Report investigators damned both Wildstein and Kelly without speaking with either of them. Unlike Kelly, Wildstein was perfectly positioned at the PA to proffer evidence that could implicate two other Christie henchmen at the Port, both departed -- deputy executive director Bill Baroni, and chairman of the PA’s Board of Commissioners, David Samson. (Quelle coincidence! Neither of those two deigned to speak with the authors of the Christie Report.) The report in its entirety is a steaming pile of crap, a classic Christie smear job, designed to reach the only result that might spare his political life: Christie knew nothing. 

Chris Christie’s White House fever dream died at his January press conference, where he spent two hours wallowing in self-pity over how his aides had deceived him. Now that David Wildstein’s talking, his days as governor are numbered -- in weeks and months, not years. 

and here too: 


2. is it wrong that im smiling about this


On an OP by malaise  

It's all Jeb Bush on Morning Joe Scum today

Not a word about their 'friend', Chris Toast Christie.


1. Time for some traffic problems in Pensacola


On an OP by okaawhatever  

Married GOP Rep. Caught Kissing Staffer In Surveillance Video: Report

Source: Reuters

Rep. Vance McAllister (R-La.) is facing trouble after a local newspaper reported he can be seen kissing a female staffer in a surveillance video. 

On Monday, The Ouachita Citizen published a surveillance video allegedly showing McAllister and Melissa Anne Hixon Peacock, McAllister’s district scheduler, at the Republican's congressional office in Monroe, Louisiana. The two people in the video can be seen embracing and kissing for almost half a minute. 

McAllister made headlines in January for inviting "Duck Dynasty" star Willie Robertson as his guest to President Barack Obama's 2014 State of the Union address.


Blue Owl  

61. It wasn't no French kissing, it was FREEDOM kissing



On an OP by sheshe2  

Senator Mitch McConnell’s Facebook Poll Backfires Big Time

Senator Mitch McConnell (R-KY) posted a poll to his Facebook page this weekend, in the form of a meme. The senate minority leader wanted to know, out of four choices, which was the most important to his constituents. Senator McConnell obviously didn’t pay attention to how well this worked for Ted Cruz when Cruz decided to ask his Facebook “fans” if the ACA had made people’s lives better or worse. Remember: this is the same guy who said the GOP’s most important task after President Obama was elected was to make him a one-term president. So, that obviously didn’t work, and now McConnell is focused on other things that he deems “critical.” McConnell’s text accompanying the meme: 

If I am privileged to lead a Republican majority in the Senate in 2015 there are many critical issues that we plan to address. Comment below and tell me what issue is most important to you! 


According to Mitch McConnell, these are the critical issues he and other members of the GOP will address if he wins reelection this fall. My favorite is C, and we’ll get into that in a bit. For now, let’s take a look at some of the comments that people posted in response to these critical issues. 


Oops. Now, there were folks on there who liked Sen. McConnell’s list, but there are over 3,000 comments as of Monday morning, and from my quick perusal, most of them are negative. As I wrote above, I responded to C, Protection of Life. Here’s my comment: 

Protecting life, if by protecting life you mean providing low cost or free lunches to kids, making sure children have access to health care, promoting healthy eating and exercise for our children, protecting our veterans’ lives when they return from war, protecting the lives of our working poor, our elderly, our disabled, and our children by continuing to provide SNAP and WIC and other social programs that help the most vulnerable in our country survive. If by “protecting life,” you mean save the fetus, starve the child, then I choose E-everything you don’t stand for, like equality and fairness and higher taxes for the 1% and alternative energy and sensible gun laws and supporting the ACA. Have an ignorant day, Senator. 


They just don't learn!


4. Is this a nationwide war on coal?

Or just Kentucky? Because I still have a few pieces left over from my last Christmas stocking, and I don't know if I should take it out and shoot it, or what. Hell, I didn't know we had a war on coal going on. Maybe I could just turn these survivors in to McConnell and let him fire them out his loose cannon? I just don't want to get into any trouble for having these enemy combatants around my house.


On an OP by Dawgs  

Sorry, but you are an idiot..

if you think or suggest that violent video games have anything to do with school violence. 


1. Bullshit. Don't you remember when Pac Man came out

and all those kids were biting each other? 

Then there was Donkey Kong and the related barrel throwing incidents....


9. That was a truly horrible day.

Bunch of kids eating marshmallows and chasing after me going wocka wocka wocka.


34. On the Donkey Kong day

I heard some kid lit himself on fire and kept waiting the the elevator, guarding a purse. Everyone had to jump over him on the way out. 


65. I was blowing up rocks and UFO's when I wasn't playing Asteroids.

Pew, pew!


6. I know

pong drove me to slap people silly until their head started bouncing back and forth to fast.


On an OP by malaise

A possible fifth ping has been heard

Waiting for word from Australian officials.

Jackpine Radical  

1. All these pings.

Why never a pong? 


6. Because two pongs don't make a site.


On an OP by alp227  

Lawyer says Shrimp Boy a victim of entrapment and racism

Source: San Francisco Chronicle

(04-08) 12:15 PDT SAN FRANCISCO -- As state Sen. Leland Yee and his codefendants pleaded not guilty Tuesday to charges of political corruption, gun-running and other crimes financed by payoffs from undercover agents, a lawyer for one defendant accused the FBI of entrapment and racism. 

"The government created the crime, the government financed the crime, and the government ensnared my client," Tony Serra, lawyer for Raymond "Shrimp Boy" Chow, told reporters after 21 defendants were arraigned in federal court. "We will put the government rightfully on trial." 

Chow, a Chinatown gang leader, was released from federal prison in 2003 after a racketeering sentence and promised to turn his life around. As leader of an association called the Ghee Hung Tong, or Chinese free masons, he has been honored by Sen. Dianne Feinstein and San Francisco Mayor Ed Lee for his work with troubled youth. 

But an FBI affidavit last month said Chow was at the center of a five-year corruption investigation that began in Chinatown and led to Keith Jackson, an associate of Chow's and a consultant to Yee, and ultimately to the now-suspended state senator.


Blue Owl  

3. He's just a prawn in a much bigger game



OP by Playinghardball  

This plainly wasn't thought through...


2. The line of cats is around the block, though...


8. And along those same lines...


On an OP by Flying Squirrel  

Wastewater Treatment Center now available for weddings

WOODINVILLE, Wash. -- A sewage treatment plant near Seattle is advertising its availability as a wedding venue. 

The Brightwater Wastewater Treatment Center says on Facebook it has a full catering kitchen, audio-video equipment, dance floor and ample parking. 

You could even hold the wedding outside. 

The director of the Brightwater Environmental Education and Community Center, Susan Tallarico, said that receptions would take place just steps away from where raw sewage is processed. She says there's no odor because all the processing is contained. 

The King County plant was finished three years ago but has been available for rent for about seven months. 

It costs $2,000 to rent the center for eight hours. One couple has already booked the sewage plant for their nuptials. 



1. Usually it takes a while for a marriage to go down the toilet... n/t


On an OP by aggiesal  

NASA photo captures strange bright light coming out of Mars

Source: Houston Chronicle/SF Gate

A NASA camera on Mars has captured what appears to be artificial light emanating outward from the planet's surface.

The photo, beamed millions of miles from Mars to the Jet Propulsion Laboratory in Pasadena, Calif., was taken last week, apparently by one of two NASA rovers on the red planet. 

Although the space agency hasn't issued any official statement yet about the phenomenon, bloggers and NASA enthusiasts have started chiming in.



5. I thought I lost my flashlight......

...on Jupiter, but it was Mars. 

- I do that all the time.....


8. As if we don't know


9. It's time...

I must leave now, DU. 

For what may happen in the future, you must not blame yourselves. I will petition the overseers to grant you a merciful end. 

Thank you for these years of insight to your primitive culture. 



16. swamp gas...as usual.

Tyrs WolfDaemon  

19. Its Drunk Aliens lighting their farts


35. Fracking?


54. nope,Planet Fart. n/t


36. Ooh! The Martians are having a spotlight sale!

If we hurry there now, maybe we can beat the rush.

Baitball Blogger  

29. Do they have deer on Mars?


38. Yes. Reindeer. Flying reindeer.


43. Desmond Hume lit up the hatch! (nt)


'til next week!

Posted by Flying Squirrel | Fri Apr 11, 2014, 02:28 AM (23 replies)

*** DUzy Awards: In which TexasTowelie gets a long-overdue DUzy! :) ***

TGIF! And welcome to….


Special thanks to everyone who contributed to this edition -- either by:

responding to a post with "DUzy" in the subject line,

or by sending me a PM.

The DUzy awards couldn't happen without you!

OP by TexasTowelie  

My 5,000 Post—Catnip Memories (Dial-up Warning)

This is the tail of my hisstory with catnip. 

I’ll start from scratch. 

When I mewved into adolescence everything seemed purrfect. 

I arranged my furst deal… 

…and purrchased the best nip out there. 

This would definitely have qualified for a DUzy Award last August if I'd been doing them at the time… better late than never! Follow the link below for the rest of the story!


On an OP by Are_grits_groceries  

My Scat. (Mousie's sister)

Unbeknownst to her, she's waiting on 2 little kittehs to liven up her life.


7. At first glance i thought this post was about something completely different. ..


13. And you clicked anyway.


17. That's why I clicked. ..


On an OP by eppur_se_muova  

Cat trapped for five days in charity shop sofa (BBC)

A cat spent five days trapped in a sofa donated to a charity shop before being found by the couple who bought it.

The three-seater settee was given to St Luke's Hospice charity shop in Grays, Essex, by Pauline and Bill Lowe, both 66, from Corringham. 

Ten-year-old Crockett was discovered when the new owners heard "a soft miaow" coming from the furniture. 

Mrs Lowe said she had been "devastated" to lose Crockett and the family were "delighted" to have him back. 

Charity shop staff took two sofas from the Lowes' house in York Avenue on 24 March, but one had to be taken apart to get it through the door. 


What a close call ! Keep an eye on your kitties, people ! I've often wondered how many stray cats had hopped on board trucks or their cargo and wound up lost, miles from home. It would be awful to have your cat disappear that way.


5. Oh great. Another Persian vs. Ottoman story.


On an OP by TexasTowelie  

Why are all the threads showing December 1969 on the Latest Threads page?

Did I miss a time warp or something? 


5. you have entered....

BainsBane (24,615 posts) 

17. I know what you did



I love WhipPits!


15. Oh! you mean whipped cream cans?

Jeeeeeezzzz… I recall doing that once… I think it must cause brain damage after a while! 


17. It was a LONG time ago. Reagan was president.

And I think Madonna had just been invented!


23. Just Say NO2


On an OP by kentuck  

Is it time for a "fatwa" from Skinner?

Is it time to re-evaluate Admin's decision to be more open to conservative and non-progressive opinions? 

In the early days of DU, many opinions now prominent on DU would have been short-lived. They would have been "tombstoned". DU was for progressive-minded folks because conservative thought was dominant everywhere. We did not need more of it on DU. 

I understand that times change and sometimes decisions are made for economic reasons. Has DU somehow forgotten that it is radical conservatism that is the enemy of us all? There is no room for compromise.

This discussion thread was locked as off-topic by Skinner (a host of the General Discussion forum).


2. I say we take those two conservative/non-progressive guys out back and waste them

Whoever they are.


3. Skinner should issue a Fat Burger


6. I would prefer that he issue a falafel,

since I am a vegetarian and all.


10. It's time ban all DINOs

including loyalists, firebaggers, Obamabots, moonbats, Vichy Democrats, milquetoast Democrats, conservadems, Blue Dogs, Red Dogs,Green Dogs, emoprogs, pseudoprogs, pseudopods and..


14. I think, just to be safe, we should get rid of everybody but CJCRANE. nt


33. That should just about do it

but I'm not even sure about that guy. 


61. We're going to need some duct tape. /nt


76. I think if most everyone just smoked a "fat one", it might lighten up n/t


116. OOh! Can I declare a fat one too?

A fat one? 

I declare!


183. I had no idea Skinner was an Imam.


On an OP by B2G  

Vegetarians less healthy than omnivores


Study: Vegetarians Less Healthy, Lower Quality Of Life Than Meat-Eaters 

ATLANTA (CBS ATLANTA) – Vegetarians may have a lower BMI and drink alcohol sparingly, but vegetarian diets are tied to generally poorer health, poorer quality of life and a higher need for health care than their meat-eating counterparts. 

A new study from the Medical University of Graz in Austria finds that vegetarians are more physically active, drink less alcohol and smoke less tobacco than those who consume meat in their diets. Vegetarians also have a higher socioeconomic status and a lower body mass index. But the vegetarian diet — characterized by a low consumption of saturated fats and cholesterol that includes increased intake of fruits, vegetables and whole-grain products — carries elevated risks of cancer, allergies and mental health disorders. 

Vegetarians were twice as likely to have allergies, a 50 percent increase in heart attacks and a 50 percent increase in incidences of cancer. 

The cross-sectional study from Austrian Health Interview Survey data and published in PLos One examined participants dietary habits, demographic characteristics and general lifestyle differences. 



2. uh oh ...

 <==== meatcorn


10. Uhhh...

<===Popcorn Shrimp!


On an OP by MineralMan  

For the "left lane is the fast lane" proponents:

That rule is true on freeways and other access-controlled highways. It is not true on surface streets in cities. Even if they are four-lane roads with median strips. Here's why: 

Such multi-lane surface streets allow left turns all along their length. Sometimes the turns are made at traffic lights, and other times they are made at intersections without traffic lights. Sometimes there are left turn lanes, and sometimes there are not. Both lanes are the same. If you'll be making a left turn ahead, a wise driver will change to the left lane ahead of the need to turn. Cars are also turning right, and drivers who will be turning right move to the right lane ahead of the intersection where they will turn. 

On any two-lane per side street or highway where there are traffic lights and opportunities to turn left, the left lane is not the "fast lane." It is merely one of the lanes available. Drivers can use either lane freely, and smart drivers change to the lane from which they will turn well ahead of the need to turn. 

In the recent instance where a woman used a cell-phone camera to record a tail-gating road rager who subsequently crashed his car, the incident occurred on Hwy 41 in Tampa. That highway is one of those described above. You can see it in Google Maps satellite view by searching for Hwy 41, Tampa. It allows left turns at most intersections, whether controlled by a traffic light or not. Most cities have several such numbered highways that go through the city. On none of those highways is the left late the "fast lane." It is simply one of the lanes traffic can use, and many drivers turn from those lanes onto intersecting streets. 

"Fast Lanes" only exist on access-controlled highways where exit ramps are the means to turn off onto intersecting roads. On uncontrolled roads, with surface level intersections, there is no "fast lane," "passing lane," or any other such designation. Drivers use the lane that enables them to drive where they want to go. 

On roads with three lanes on each side, the center lane is the through traffic lane, not the right or left lane. On those roads, drivers who will be continuing on that road or highway should drive in the center lane. The left lane is for people who will be turning left, and the right lane is for people who will be turning right. But on roads and highways with two lanes of traffic that are not access-controlled, both lanes are the same, and nobody should expect to go faster or slower on either lane.


6. Whatever the issue, you always find a way to malign the far left


12. Ah, lanes. I miss those.

Welcome to my commute...


On an OP by reddread  

what does it mean to make over 100 posts in 24 hours?

with about 50 of them overnight? 

This discussion thread was locked as off-topic by one_voice (a host of the General Discussion forum).

The Magistrate  

6. A Lot Of Coffee Handy, Sir? Insomnia?

I expect I have managed a hundred posts in twenty-four hours here on occasion, when my blood was up and there was a target-rich environment.... 


8. Funny cat pictures ain't just gonna post themselves, son!


14. Overnight in which time zone.


111. Indeed. I'm getting tired of the longitudists getting a free pass on DU


19. LOL....


61. Blue meth


117. lol

Maybe "blue-link meth".

Gormy Cuss  

99. It means someone is

a slacker. 


112. It means that there was a thread about...

Pit bulls, e-cigs, guns, gender vs gender, the nra, breast feeding, spanking, the olive garden, or some combination there of that I don't want to even begin to think about. 


158. don't forget porn, tattoos, circumcision

and left lane driving... 


116. Well some of us like to post.


On a poll by leeroysphitz  

Should people with leprosy and a past history of psychosis be allowed to teach our children?

Don't jerk me around on this one, it's a simple question.


9. Why are you trying to divide DU?


12. Psychotic lepers are causing us so many problems.

When will it ever stop? 

It is so hard to fire an AK-47 at your kids after your fingers fall off.


On an OP by Omaha Steve  

Lee Terry's (R-NE) ignition switch joke at GM recall hearing falls flat

Source: Omaha World Herald

By Joseph Morton 

Rep. Lee Terry doesn't need political enemies — he just keeps shooting himself in the foot. 

Omaha's Republican congressman arrived in the middle of Tuesday's hearing on the faulty GM ignition switches that have been linked to 13 deaths. 

"I'm sorry for being late, but my plane was canceled for mechanical reasons. Probably an ignition switch — US Air," Terry said. 

Democrats were quick to pounce on the misguided joke, emailing reporters and posting links to the video on social media outlets. 

FULL story at link. 

Read more: 


1. GOP still bemused by social media?

Xipe Totec  

3. They think it's a socialist idea. They believe only in individual media

That's why they only talk to themselves and listen to the voices in their heads. 

Renew Deal  

2. Terry at a Washington mudslide hearing: "Sorry I'm late but I just had a mudslide of my own"

Get it? Get it? 


On an OP by itsrobert  

A freaking 8.0 Earthquake strikes and CNN doesn't move from their Plane coverage



4. when they have video and a graphics package made they will run it non-stop for 3 days


16. It was carrying the last of their professional integrity

When the plane went down, it took their credibility with it.


17. Their professional integrity disappeared into a black hole n/t


On an OP by uhnope  

Tens Of Thousands Sign White House Petition For Alaska To Secede And Rejoin Russia

Source: CBS

WASHINGTON (CBS DC) – A new White House petition has been launched calling for the state of Alaska to secede from the U.S. and rejoin Russia. The petition – called “Alaska Back to Russia” — has nearly 30,000 signatures after being created March 21 by S.V. of Anchorage. 

The petitioner does not explain or provide any reason why Alaska should rejoin Russia, but just states: “Vote for secession of Alaska from the United States and joining Russia.” 

The petition, which is strangely worded, describes how Alaska was settled and populated by native Russians. 

“First visited Alaska August 21, 1732, members of the team boat “St. Gabriel »under the surveyor Gvozdev and assistant navigator I. Fedorov during the expedition Shestakov and DI Pavlutski 1729-1735 years,” the petition states.

Read more: 


2. What are they calling it?

The "Better Red than Black" movement?


3. Under one condition: They have to take Sarah Palin


9. Ten bucks says maybe ten of those are Alaskans

I lived in Alaska. If Alaska breaks off, Alaska's going to be Alaska. MAYBE seek to join Canada. Russia my ass. 

trusty elf  

29. ...............

Faygo Kid  

33. FReepers love Putin

All those traitorous wingnuts are calling for secession all the time while loudly proclaiming their "patriotism." 



88. Yes, they found their ticket for 2016:


49. Be careful what you wish for Teabaggers! Otherwise get ready to be told...

Говорите по-русски ты дебил! 

Which is Russian for: Speak Russian you moron!


OP by Archae  

Picture that just screams out..."TEABAGGER!!!"

Found it on another message board. 


10. I think flag-ified crucifixes are da bomb

really da bomb


5. It also seems to be screaming "tiny penis".


13. But the mail is run by the gov'mint!

This guy is a SOCIALIST!!!!!


On an OP by Jesus Malverde  

Starbucks says it’s sorry a barista put a Satanic symbol in teacher’s coffee

The devil is supposed to be in the details. He just might be in the coffee, too. 

The viral world is all abuzz about a Louisiana schoolteacher who discovered what may be at least one Satanic symbol drawn in her coffee foam by a Starbucks barista in Baton Rouge. 

The teacher, Megan Pinion, did what one does these days: Complained on Facebook. Starbucks’ Facebook page. On Sunday. 


Warren DeMontague  

2. Maybe 6.66 was the price?

Honestly I'd be more concerned about trying to fit massively overpriced lattes into a teaching salary.

Jesus Malverde  

3. I think 666 was the calories from the high fructose in the caramel.


18. Messing with coffee is grounds for dismissal.


20. But doing foam art is one of the job perks


22. You trying to foment something?


24. Of curse I am


30. No. *YOU'RE* trying to limit the worker's freedom of espresso.


31. Sometimes a barista's job is a regular grind.


34. that's really putting the star in "starbuck"


On an OP by WillyT  

Wow... Just... Wow... On David Koch... FU !!!

Medical research 

In 1992, Koch was diagnosed with prostate cancer. He underwent radiation, surgery, and hormone therapy, but the cancer returned every time. Koch believes his experience with cancer has encouraged him to fund medical research. He says, "once you get that disease and I've had it for 20 years almost, you become a crusader to try to cure the disease not only for yourself but for other people."
 Koch says that his biggest contributions go toward a "moon shot" campaign to finding the cure for cancer, according to his profile on Forbes. Between 1998 and 2012, Koch contributed at least $395 million to medical research causes and institutions. 

Koch sits on the Board of Directors of the Prostate Cancer Foundation and has contributed $41 million to the Foundation, including $5 million to a collaborative project in the field of nanotechnology. Koch is the eponym of the David H. Koch Chair of the Prostate Cancer Foundation, a position currently held by Dr. Jonathan Simons. 

In 2007, he contributed $100 million to the Massachusetts Institute of Technology to help fund the construction of a new 350,000-square-foot (33,000 m2) research and technology facility to serve as the home of the David H. Koch Institute for Integrative Cancer Research. He has given a total of $185 million to MIT since joining the MIT Corporation in 1988. 

$20 million to Johns Hopkins University School of Medicine in Baltimore. The building he financed was named the David H. Koch Cancer Research Building. 
$30 million to the Memorial Sloan–Kettering Cancer Center in New York 
$25 million to the University of Texas M. D. Anderson Cancer Center in Houston to establish the David Koch Center for Applied Research in Genitourinary Cancers 
$15 million to New York-Presbyterian Hospital Weill Cornell Medical Center 
$5 million to the House Ear Institute, in Los Angeles, to create a center for hearing restoration 
$25 million to the Hospital for Special Surgery in New York City 
$100 million, the largest philanthropic donation in the history of New York-Presbyterian Hospital, beginning a $2 billion campaign which will conclude in 2019 to create a new ambulatory care center and renovate the infrastructure of all of the hospital's five sites.



1. I wish he could come down with a bad case of climate change.

Bjorn Against  

9. Someone sure puffed up his Wikipedia page

I did learn one interesting thing in reading it however, the American Museum of Natural History has a David H. Koch Dinosaur Wing. I assume it must include displays on the prehistoric nature of the people that Koch funds.


13. I was JUST there last week....ew ew ew....

Now I need another shower!

Bjorn Against  

14. Was this sign posted at the entrance?


Posted by Flying Squirrel | Fri Apr 4, 2014, 05:28 AM (31 replies)

Should the DUzy Awards include locked threads?

We've got at least two nominations this week... JeffR used to avoid including locked threads in the DUzy Awards, but that was DU2 and this is DU3. What say ye?
Posted by Flying Squirrel | Wed Apr 2, 2014, 03:38 PM (18 replies)

*** DUzy Awards: Back in the early days of DU edition! ***

TGIF! And welcome to….


Special thanks to everyone who contributed to this edition -- either by:

responding to a post with "DUzy" in the subject line,

or by sending me a PM.

The DUzy awards couldn't happen without you!

OP by rocktivity



Severe Image Warning!

OP by EarlG  

Pic Of The Moment: Rumsfeld Says A "Trained Ape" Would Be Better At Foreign Policy Than Obama

Donald Rumsfeld: 'A Trained Ape' Would Be Better At Foreign Policy Than Obama

All POTM's are DUzy-worthy… but some are lol-DUzy-worthy! Congrats to EarlG!


On an OP by kpete  

This Gives Me Hope: Conservative book sales have suddenly plummeted.

Buzzfeed reports that conservative book sales have suddenly plummeted. 

This pattern continues as you scan the works of recent and prospective Republican presidential candidates. According to one knowledgeable source, Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker received an even larger advance than Pawlenty’s, and Bookscan has his 2013 book Unintimidated selling around 16,000 copies. Sen. Rand Paul’s latest, Government Bullies, has barely cracked 10,000 sold; and despite spending months in the 2012 GOP primaries, Rick Santorum’s book about the founding fathers, American Patriots, sold just 6,538 copies. Perhaps most surprising, Immigration Wars, co-authored by Jeb Bush, the former Florida governor who consistently polls in the top tier of the Republican 2016 field, sold just 4,599 copies. 


magical thyme  

19. maybe they should try coloring books...

something closer to the iq and emotional intelligence of their audience.

cui bono  

22. They already do that!

Ted Cruz to the Future! 

There’s Now A Coloring Book To Teach Your Children To Love Ted Cruz 


"People who bought this book also bought a Crayola 64 pack of white crayons." 

Haha... Amazon reviews are great: 

But wait.... there's more!!! 

Tom Ripley  

20. The landfills must be at capacity


28. Guess everyone is stocked up on kindling.


41. I've long insisted they should be priced by the cord.

In colder climates, that would really move them along.


53. Maybe the price of toilet paper finally went down.


On an OP by Oilwellian  

Christie Knew

Breaking: NYT 

He lied. He knew but said he did not. Now he says he forgot. Bye-bye Christie. 

Other interesting new facts emerged, revealed in the report, that are scandalous. 


The Port Authority official who oversaw the lane closing at the George Washington Bridge said that he had he informed Gov. Chris Christie of New Jersey about it at a Sept. 11 memorial while the closings were occurring, according to an internal investigation released on Thursday by lawyers for the governor. 

The official, David Wildstein, told Mr. Christie’s press secretary of the Sept 11 conversation at a dinner in December just before his resignation from the Port Authority, according to the report. 

The report said that Mr. Christie did not recall any such conversation and finds no evidence that he was involved in the scheme, which snarled traffic for thousands of commuters in Fort Lee, N.J., from Sept. 9 through the morning of Sept. 12. 

It is said that he got tears in his eyes when he was told in January. I'm sure he was thinking, "there goes my presidency. 



10. But, but, but....he didn't know


12. I guess this is appropriate...


On an OP by WhoIsNumberNone  

David Pakman: Fox Host Disgusted That States Still Feeding Poor Despite Food Stamp Cuts

trusty elf  

1. Varney is such an a**hole!



On an OP by Beacool  

Pentagon: Benghazi Probes Cost Millions

By Donna Cassata 

WASHINGTON (AP) — The Pentagon says Congress' multiple investigations of the deadly 2012 attack on the U.S. diplomatic mission in Benghazi, Libya, have cost the department millions of dollars and thousands of hours of personnel time. 

In a March 11 letter, the Pentagon described repetitive requests for information from about 50 congressional hearings, briefings and interviews. The department was responding to a Feb. 4 letter from Rep. Adam Smith of Washington state, the top Democrat on the House Armed Services Committee. 

The Sept. 11 assault killed four Americans, including U.S. Ambassador Chris Stevens. An independent review and bipartisan Senate Intelligence committee report have mainly faulted the State Department and the security at the mission. 


So much money and man hours wasted in pursuit of a manufactured scandal, and that's just the Pentagon. How much money was wasted by the State Department? 


1. It issa national scandal. nt


OP by Tuesday Afternoon  

Trolls are misunderstood creatures. Really ...

Erich Bloodaxe BSN  

2. Laugh.

Reminds me of that pic of the gray, windowless van with 'free candy' spray painted on the side 


5. That was a good one too!


OP by Stargazer99  

I've been on this site since Ariana Huffington owned it in the early 1990's

and one thing that was told several time in that period that the goal of conservative Republicans was cheap labor now don't you think it is time to shove it down their throats?


2. "WTF?" - Ariana Huffy (R)


7. welcome to huffpo!

Warren DeMontague  

99. before that, it was known as DU Huffingpost


135. D-U Huffing-post

It's the site that's got the most 
D-U Huffing-post 
If you're a troll you're gonna end up toast

Jesus Malverde  

65. Little known fact.

Skinner actually won DU in a game of strip poker.


67. Then Skinner knows more about Arianna Huffington

than any of us realized.

Major Nikon  

11. It's a little known fact that I am the actual sole owner of DU



42. Should've haggled.

Probably could have gotten it for a Shasta, or a Faygo Diet Rootbeer at the most.

Dreamer Tatum  

9. Ah, memories. Those of us who were here in the mid-80's

still recall the debates we had over Nicaragua and El Salvador. 

It annoyed the folks who were here since Wat


12. The halcyon days of 2400 baud! Oh, those were the days, boy! nt


105. 2400 baud was bad ass compared to what I had!

I still miss that connection sound!


128. Well, that was nothing compared to the sweet click-click-clacking of a telegraph key!

Mind you, threads took a bit longer to reply to, and it was insanely difficult to keep track of everyone.... 







19. Remember the Dewey Defeats Truman thread?

Epic lulz there. So many people ended up on Earl Warren's iggy list that day!

Hassin Bin Sober  

29. It was a pain in the ass feeding all those cards in during a flame-thread.

The Straight Story  

30. I was here when Jesus Christ had his moment of doubt and pain

Back then though I had a different user name


74. Pleased to meet you ... n/t



Seriesly. THIS IS HUGH!! 

Renew Deal  

152. Best post of 1993

Never forgot it.


48. We used to shout our posts out the window back then

Good times.


85. The internet used to be on the radio.

You had to really squint to hear it.


138. It wasn't the gruelling miles that did in the Pony Express...

It was having to carry all of SalmonChantedEvenings lolcats.

Destined to become an instant classic, peruse the thread for more fun and add your own memories


On an OP by dipsydoodle  

Is this a fiddle ?

Stradivari viola expected to fetch £27m 

A 300-year-old viola is expected to sell for £27m, making it potentially the most expensive musical instrument in the world. 

Sotheby's has said it is selling what is regarded as the finest viola in existence – the "Macdonald" made by Antonio Stradivari in 1719. 

It has invited sealed bids which are expected to be in excess of £27m ($45m), a figure which would easily surpass the auction record for an instrument – the Lady Blunt Stradivarius which sold for £9.8m. It would also be higher than any known private sale. 

David Redden, Sotheby's vice chairman, said of the viola: "Every field is defined by one outstanding masterpiece which casts its shadow not only on its own domain but far beyond. 



4. I reckon they know what they're doing

but I'd be scared to pick it up.... 

look how beautiful that MacDonald is! 


I wonder why it's called that...


5. Maybe the original owner had a farm.



On an OP by nationalize the fed  

This New Hyundai Car Runs On The Poop Of California Residents, And The Fuel Is Free.

With hydrogen supplied by Orange County's sewage treatment plant and paid for by the car manufacturer, a new fuel cell vehicle is actually hitting the market in Los Angeles. 

Adele Peters March 18, 2014 

A new car from Hyundai runs on a fuel that has a truly endless supply: human poop. 

Hydrogen created from sewage at a waste treatment plant in Orange County, California, will power fuel cells in the Hyundai Tuscon, available for leasing later this spring in a limited area around Los Angeles. 

Right now, there are only about 10 hydrogen fuel pumps in the entire state, and most are supplied with hydrogen that’s made from natural gas. But the Orange County Sanitation District is testing out new technology that can make hydrogen cheaply by processing solid waste and feeding it to microbes that turn it into methane. The fuel will be pumped to local stations, making it possible for Hyundai to put its car on the streets. 

For now, it’s only going to be available in the immediate area. “We want to make sure with this car that customers have pretty easy access to hydrogen,” says Jim Trainor, a spokesperson for Hyundai. “If there were more hydrogen stations, we could have more customers. We’ll plan more when the infrastructure’s in place.” 

Full Story: 


1. Eat a burrito

run fast.


26. Eat half a dozen burritos

and light a match. 

Kapow! You're on vacation in the Caribbean...


17. to modify a phrase---give a toot--don't pollute

boston bean  

30. Is this what will be known as the "new" Crude?


37. Ha! Big Oil can eat


Blue Owl  

40. The new Ford Fecal!

Great invention but gonna be tough to market...


45. Will it be an Ass-UV? nt


11. I'm told it has a

crappy ride.


21. This car looks like a real shitbox.


61. Hyundai has made shit boxes for decades

its just official now. 

A Simple Game  

24. With a slight modification to the car seats, I can see

fast food joints replacing gas stations on the highways.


46. There is great potential here...

...for a multipurpose car. 

Replace the regular seats with comfortable bidets, drive in the nude, and you can refuel your car "as you go," so to speak.


25. Is there an available diarrhea turbo engine?


36. Yes, a model with a GOPer Blower.


7. I hate to point this out, but,...

...with a car that runs on the noxious fumes generated by an endless supply of crap, the republicans will be looking at us in their rear-view mirrors!

rhett o rick  

16. True but since they are always going in the wrong direction, it might be a blessing. nm

Lurks Often  

47. Imagine if they could generate power using the crap coming out of Washington DC

Then you'd really be talking about power to the people


On an OP by pintobean  

Elephants escape circus in St. Louis, damage cars in Shriners' lot

(CNN) -- What's better than a bull in a China shop? Three cows in a parking lot -- elephant cows, that is. 

The trunked trio -- all circus stars in St. Louis, Missouri -- found a way out of their enclosure Saturday and went for a stroll. 

Eyewitnesses told CNN affiliate KSDK that loud noises from circus goers had spooked the elephants, and they fled. But the three only made it to the parking lot, where they dinged two cars and were eventually rounded up by their handlers, according Dennis Burkholder, spokesman for St. Louis' Shriners. 

The parking lot belongs to them, and the elephants may well, too -- they work for the Moolah Shrine Circus, where they strut their stuff on their hind legs under the big top to earn their keep.



1. They got tired of working for peanuts.

Gidney N Cloyd  

10. In all fairness to the elephants, Shriners drive such little cars they're hard to watch out for.


On an OP by elleng  

Train Derails, Climbs Escalator at Chicago Airport.

Source: nyt/ap

An eight-car Chicago commuter train plowed across a platform and scaled an escalator at the underground station of one of the nation's busiest airports early Monday, injuring 32 people on board, officials said. 

No one suffered life-threatening injuries in the Blue Line derailment at O'Hare International Airport, Chicago Fire Commissioner Jose Santiago said during a morning briefing. 

An enormous disaster was avoided thanks to the timing of the crash just before 3 a.m. The bustling station is usually packed with travelers using the major airport, but Chicago Transit Authority official said the crash happened at a traditionally quiet time.

Read more: 

Spitfire of ATJ  

7. Like a scene in a movie....

Blue Owl  

9. It's just Mitt Romney's private train escalator



23. At least the sign is accurate...

Do Not Board.


28. And thus, the forthcoming DU Presidential Election 2016 forum had a new metaphor. nt


39. Go home, Train, you're drunk.


On an OP by applegrove  

"Anthony Weiner Gets a New Job"

Anthony Weiner Gets a New Job 



The website Business Insider has hired Weiner, whose well-documented sexting exploits led to his political downfall, to write a monthly political column called “Weiner!” The first installment will be posted Friday. 

“It will feature Weiner’s thoughts on the top political issues of the day imbued with his unique insider’s perspective,” according to Business Insider. 

Weiner, who resigned from Congress in 2011 and came up short in New York’s mayoral primary last year, said he was looking forward to “the opportunity to add to the always smart and often iconoclastic coverage of politics and policy at Business Insider.” 

This isn’t Weiner’s first foray into commentary. He has also been writing for the New York Daily News. 



1. Will his column have pictures?... n/t


4. What kind of job?? That headline is just waiting for someone to ask...


On an OP by undeterred  

So if I am a Jewish employer can I require that all of my male employees

get circumcised next weekend? Not that I would, I just want to know if I could.


9. I was really thinking about circumcision of newborns by pediatricians

I'd think that if you have a mohel do the job, you have to pay for it yourself?


28. Unless you get one who

works for the tips.


On an OP by big_dog  

Pat Robertson: Jesus More Likely to Stone Gays to Death Than Bake Them a Wedding Cake

Robertson opined that homosexuality was considered to be a “pathology” only “a few years ago,” and now LGBT people were “the oppressors” of religious people. 

“What is it about gays, what is it about abortion?” he asked. “Both of them deny the reproduction of human species.” 

“It’s as if the devil is saying, ‘I’m going to destroy your progeny any way I can, and if you will kill your baby, that’s fine. I’m with you. If you will deny the chance of having babies, that’s fine too, but I want to destroy your opportunities to reproduce,’” Robertson continued. “As a society, we need to realize where the attack is coming, because it is definitely an attack.” 

“Jesus said, ‘I came to give life, and the devil wants to steal, kill and destroy,’” co-host Wendy Griffith agreed. 



6. The world population is projected at 9 million by 2050.

I gotta side with the devil on this one, Pat.


17. 9 million........must be factoring in The Rapture


28. Those damn gays!

“What is it about gays, what is it about abortion?” he asked. “Both of them deny the reproduction of human species.” 

Right, because we are almost out of people of this earth.


33. "We said 'Be fruitful and multiply' to Adam and Eve, and thou cover't the Earth by 16,000 Before Me



30. Pat Robertson:

"I'm not a Christian, but I play one on TV."


On an OP by ck4829  

Bill Donohue backs out of pride parade, gives multiple reasons, but it's everyone else's fault

The day before Catholic League head and anti-gay activist Bill Donohue announced that he wouldn’t participate in the NYC Pride Parade even though organizers accepted his application to lead a “Straight Is Great” parade contingent, Donohue told conservative talk show host Steve Malzberg that the parade organizers are maneuvering to keep him out of the parade because they are afraid his “Straight Is Great” message will catch on and flood the parade: “They know what they’re opening the door to: what if instead of getting 100 people, what if I get 3,000 people? What if we begin to overwhelm their parade and vetoes their message?” (Yes, he really thinks this) 

Donohue said that he withdrew from the parade because he didn’t want to attend required training sessions for all group leaders. 

“Quite frankly, as a straight guy, I don’t go to gay training sessions,” Donohue said. “I think I’m pretty much an untrainable guy when it comes to this thing.” 

For the record, those “gay training sessions” that NYC Pride convenes aren’t quite as exciting as they sound: “We hold March information and safety sessions, referred to as group leader trainings, so our participants are fully aware of rules and procedures come event day. These trainings address line-up times, check-in locations, our moment of silence, dispersal activity, NYPD safety policies, attire and vehicle/sound permits. It is imperative group leaders know this information.” 


'Safety is gay!' The New Right ideology in a nutshell for you folks.


3. Someone's

having delusions of adequacy again.

11 Bravo  

17. Bullshit. He bailed because assless rubber chaps aren't permitted in the march.


On an OP by Archae  

Scott Lively: Chick-Fil-A now the "Mark Of The Beast"

These guys have GOT to quit hitting each other in the heads with those big family Bibles…

Scott Lively: The Mark Of The Beast Now Looks Like A Chick-Fil-A Sandwich 

Submitted by Miranda Blue on Monday, 3/24/2014 10:38 am 

Of all the right-wing reactions to Chick-fil-A CEO Dan Cathy’s quiet step back from the marriage equality debate, Scott Lively’s might just take the cake. In a post on Matt Barber’s BarbWire today, Lively writes that although Cathy has not yet taken the “Mark of the Beast,” his decision to back out of the gay marriage debate “suggests he might be willing to take it if faced with that choice.” “I am convinced that God is using the homosexual issue as a test of believers all over the world,” Lively continues. “What would it profit Mr. Cathy to gain the whole world (or a few more restaurants on college campuses), if his compromise of Biblical truth today makes him less able to resist the real Mark of the Beast tomorrow?” “In my mind’s eye I used to see the Mark of the Beast as a black dot on the back of the hand,” he concludes. “Now it looks more like a Chik Fil A sandwich. I’ll never buy another one, and I hope you won’t either.” 

- See more at: 


1. "I used to see the Mark of the Beast

as a black dot on the back of the hand". They have very good medications for that now.


2. I still remember one of those "endtimes" 70's movies...

The "Mark" would look like this: 


Supposedly it's binary for "666." 

Except according to the actual BIBLE, (not Hollywood or the endtimes prophets,) the "Beast" would look like this: 

Now if I saw that, I'd run like a scared jackrabbit!


6. Time to open a competing restaurant, Mark of the Beastburger

Who's in?


7. ummmmm, sacrilicious with more blasphemeat in every bite


13. Do they have a combo for $6.66?


24. These people are surely messing up my food budget.

I've already got four boxes of Cheerios (and I don't particularly even LIKE Cheerios!), ten boxes of Girl Scout cookies, Honey Maid Graham Crackers are on my shopping list, and NOW I'm going to have to have a Chick-Fil-A something-or-other at least once a week? 

If they ever boycott DiGiourno, I'm gonna die of pepperoni pizza poisoning.


On an OP by IDemo  

Does the Big Bang breakthrough offer proof of God?

(CNN) The remarkable discovery, announced this week, of ripples in the space-time fabric of the universe rocked the world of science – and the world of religion. 

Touted as evidence for inflation (a faster-than-the-speed-of-light expansion of our universe), the new discovery of traces of gravity waves affirms scientific concepts in the fields of cosmology, general relativity, and particle physics. 

The new discovery also has significant implications for the Judeo-Christian worldview, offering strong support for biblical beliefs. 

Here's how. 

Blue Owl  

21. Wolf Blitzer reporting live from the Speculation Room


OP by Are_grits_groceries  

Would you let your kid watch this movie?



Jack for Sanders  

45. Only with a little Pink Floyd in the background.



5. Those monkeys scared the hell out of me as a kid.

To be fair though she didn't actually meet the first person she killed.


6. Didn't meet her? Hell, she had her under her roof!


81. Having your house fall on someone during a tornado is not manslaughter or murder.

Dorothy does rob the corpse though.


14. Not a word about how one of the main characters gets disemboweled and his limbs torn off

while he's still alive and screaming?

They tore my legs off and they threw them over there. Then they took my chest out and they threw it over there…

Parents need to be warned about graphic stuff like that so they can protect their children!


15. Your strawman tactic couldn't be more obvious


16. Oh, stuff it!


17. Your argument

has a tinny ring to it


18. Oil get you for that!!!!


19. We let you get away with fibbing, but now you're just flat out lion


20. I have the courage to speak up!

It appears some fur will be flying here, soon. I'm probably going to hit the hay, though.

'niner, scarlet, and Aerows, oh my! Just follow the yellow brick road (ok, so it's blue) for the rest of the phun!


On an OP by Renew Deal  

Does Kim Jong Un's smoking picture send the wrong message?


1. Depends on the brand



40. It's called "Orbit"

Blue Owl  

53. He's just having a Montclair Moment!



33. He does a LOUSY Bette Davis.

But it's clear that smoking stunts ones growth.


52. I'm more offended that his cockpit is hanging open.


OP by iandhr  


MOSCOW (The Borowitz Report) — Russian President Vladimir Putin made history today by scheduling the first-ever summit of the newly formed group of nations called the G-1. 

The summit, which Putin has set for June in Sochi, is expected to be attended by the G-1 member nation Russia. 

Putin pronounced himself delighted by Russia’s attendance, telling reporters, “It is an auspicious start for the G-1 to have the participation of all its member nations.” 

In addition to what he called “a free exchange of ideas on issues of importance to the G-1,” the summit is expected to elect the first president of the G-1, a position for which Putin is widely considered the frontrunner. 

Putin denied he was a candidate for the post, but added, “It’s an honor just to be in the mix.” 


(Honorary DUzy to Mr. Borowitz… lol)


On an OP by Capt. Obvious  

Skinner on Vladimir Putin

Skinner (59,129 posts) 

1. Why would anyone want to fight Putin? 

I read on DU that he is just misunderstood. 



4. Well I agree with Skinner, why would anyone want to fight Putin?

He has command over the animals! 

Putin's master control over the air creatures. 

Putin's control of the sea creatures! 

Here we see him with the 3rd Bear Brigade.

Putin in charge of the Republican party.


14. Putins plan for world domination will go nowhere. He doesn't have the backing

he may be tough and in control of wildlife but you ain't never gonna see him riding a kitten.


18. Seriously, funny thing...I didn't add it BUT

Yeah...the Pooty Poot riding meme is out of control!


And finally: A request!

Skinner has signaled his willingness to add a "DUzy" emoticon to DU for us all to use…


But I've never created a .gif before. It needs to be small enough (exactly how small, we should know soon if it's not already specified somewhere else on DU). Soooo... if you're good at creating .gif's or know someone else who is, you could either take my idea and run with it or create a different .gif of your own (or more than one, and we could do a poll).

My idea is a mini-version of the DUzy Awards icon originally created by kgfnally:

With letters appearing one at a time:

Smaller version:

If you'd like to help, please send me a PM. Thanks in advance!

Posted by Flying Squirrel | Fri Mar 28, 2014, 04:19 AM (26 replies)

*** DUzy Awards - Nightwatcher needs to vent edition ***

TGIF! And welcome to….


Special thanks to everyone who contributed to this edition -- either by:

responding to a post with "DUzy" in the subject line,

or by sending me a PM.

The DUzy awards couldn't happen without you!

OP by NightWatcher  

I need to vent

Thanks, I feel much better

Baitball Blogger  

1. Thanks for keeping it clean.

Terra Alta  

4. Nothing but hot air.


OP by dixiegrrrrl  

I have no idea why this works, but it does. I just tried it.

While sitting on a chair, lift your right foot off the floor and make clockwise circles. 
Then, while doing that, draw the number six with your right hand. 
The direction of your foot will change. 

did it work for you????


4. If I wanted exercise I wouldn't be on the internet

winter is coming  

15. I didn't stop doing it in time.

Instead of "6" I wrote "666" and now there's a Republican in my living room. 


On an OP by Redfairen  

Quiznos follows Sbarro into bankruptcy court

Source: Bloomberg 

Quiznos Corp., the Denver-based toasted-sandwich chain, filed for bankruptcy just days after pizzeria company Sbarro LLC sought protection from creditors, as competition among fast-food restaurants grows in a tight market. 

“It’s a survival of the fittest,” Bob Goldin, executive vice president at Chicago-based restaurant researcher Technomic Inc., said in a phone interview before today’s filing. “The market is not growing, or it’s barely growing, so the weak players are getting weeded out.” 

Competition among U.S. restaurants has been increasing as newer fast-casual chains expand quickly. Sbarro filed for bankruptcy on March 10, while the owner of Hot Dog on a Stick filed last month, as foot traffic in shopping malls dwindled and chains such as Panera Bread Co., Chipotle Mexican Grill Inc. and Subway Restaurants cut into their business. 

Quiznos listed debt of more than $500 million in Chapter 11 documents filed in U.S. Bankruptcy Court in Wilmington, Delaware. It’s seeking to implement a plan that it said would cut debt by $400 million. Senior lenders “overwhelmingly” support the plan and the chain will continue operations during reorganization, according to a company statement. 

Read more: 


1. You mean the same Quiznos with the toasted mouth shredding bun? nt


21. It's the sandwich equivalent of Captain Crunch,

the breakfast cereal that tastes like blood and pain.


3. Probably could never recover from those horrible commercials:

Ladies and gentlemen, the Spongmonkeys: 


On an OP by Peacetrain  

Calling all DUers who were children in the 50's and 60's..your expertise is needed

A whole new generation gets to experience duck and cover.. ~sigh~ Putin is an idiot. End of story.. Like we need to do this all over again. Can you imagine, we get to share with our grandchildren and grandnieces and grandnephews the wonders of hiding under your desk. Oh well.. "Everything old is new again" 

I am being facetious, but jees louise.. we are having to re-fight women's rights, voters rights, and now oh boy.. some KGB nimrod wants to start up the cold war again, because he thinks those were the good old days.. 

End of Rant


1. I should have stayed hidden under my school desk.

Coming out wasn't such a smart move after all.


16. I am older and less nimble. Better raise my desk up so I can get under it.


34. I was thinking, perhaps we could offer Sarah Palin as a peace offering, she seems to have

Hots for him and she is on his side. Maybe this would keep both of them busy for a few years.


37. Long meaningful glances from her back porch, and all...


35. You know, when my generation wants to feel nostalgic...

We put "Thriller" on and pretend we can moonwalk. 

We don't try to convince ourselves that the Grenada needs to be invaded again.


44. "Kiss Your Ass Goodbye"

said it all for me (and I even had the poster!) 


OP by eppur_se_muova  

I almost wish someone would attack Frankfurt ...

so we could hear John McCain say "We are all frankfurters now". 


9. Somebody please invade Wank, Germany.

The Velveteen Ocelot  

11. Or Vienna. "We're all Wieners now."

And he definitely is a wiener.


On an OP by lovemydog  

Why Putin Did It

Article Christopher Dickey, Foreign Editor for The Daily Beast: 

Why Putin Did It 

The Russian president’s speech about annexing Crimea is really about winning back the pride lost when the Berlin Wall fell. Russian President Vladimir Putin’s speech today announcing the annexation of Crimea and ratcheting up his confrontation with the West sounded to many American ears like the Bizarro rhetoric of a comic book character in a world turned upside down. He accused the West, and especially the United States, of all the sins for which he has been charged in the current crisis. He claimed the Europeans and Americans operate on the principle that “truth is not with us, it’s against us.” He claimed that when dealing with them “what is white is called black, what is black is called white.” 

And yet … and yet … in a crisis where the slightest miscalculation could lead to a catastrophic war, we in the West would do well to listen closely to what Putin is saying. The bitterness in his narrative was palpable as he described more than two decades of humiliation at the hands of American and European governments that treated his country like a second- or even third-rate power. For him and for many of his people, whatever their other rationales may be, winning back Crimea is about winning back pride.... 



7. I think Paul McCartney might have put it this way:

(Sung to the tune of "Penny Lane") 

In the Ukraine old Yanukovich bled the country dry 
He filled his pockets with most everything they had 
It made the starving population mad 
Things were getting bad 

In the Ukraine the people gathered in the Maidan Square 
And Yanukovich thought it might be time to go. 
And on the off chance that he didn’t know 
Millions made it plain: 
“”Time for pain!” 

The Ukraine is in the news on my TV 
Ominous events are scaring me, I fear and 
Meanwhile back…. 

The Kremlin thought that Mother Russia wasn’t big enough 
So Russian-speakers in Crimea should annex 
If they will promise not to have gay sex 
Or tattoo their necks. 

In Moscow Putin said Ukrainians had to settle this 
And interference from the outside was a sin 
But then he sent the Russian Army in 
To the East Ukraine 
Very strange! 

The Ukraine is in the news on my TV 
Ominous events are scaring me, I fear and 
Meanwhile back…… 

Down in Sevastopol a vote was held to separate 
To keep things fair they got a Diebold vote machine 
They like to keep their referendum clean 
With a clean machine. 

So now the shrunken Russian Empire starts to grow again 
And then Moldova gets cut up to keep the peace 
If Putin’s lucky then the sanctions cease 
Then he takes Ukraine 
So insane! 

The Ukraine is in the news on my TV 
Ominous events are scaring me! 
The Ukraine! 


18. DUZY

in the sky with diamonds


OP by SummerSnow  

Sarah Palin Is Starting Her Very Own Web Channel...lets give it a name.lol


DumbTV for the win

and lets name some tv shows she might have on there.lol 

The Grifters 


1. Qwitter. n/t


12. It would have to have more than 4 call letters.

East Coast version - WSTFU 
West Coast version - KSTFU

Blue Owl  

22. MeTube



42. The Sarah Palin Hour (runs 30 minutes)


44. The Otter Limits

Around the World in a Daze 

Wasilla Tonight

Many more good ones at the link below


OP by red dog 1  

A Canadian, a Texan, and a tea bagger walk into a bar

and the bartender says, "What'll it be, Senator Cruz? 


On an OP by Drunken Irishman  

Laura Bush traveled the globe as First Lady more than only two U.S. presidents - W. and Clinton.

She's traveled to more countries than Pres. Obama has, and actually had more foreign visits in 2005 than Michelle Obama has in her entire time as First Lady. 

I bring this up because the First Lady is about to embark on a trip to China. She's already receiving criticism from the hypocritical Republican Party. This will only be the third trip the First Lady has taken without the President. To put that into context, through 2013, Michelle Obama visited 25 countries. Through 2005, the first year of Bush's second term, Laura Bush visited  71 countries. 

Remind the assholes of that when they complain about Michelle Obama's excess vacationing.


1. If I was married to W, I'd never stop traveling.


On an OP by Omaha Steve  

Florida cinema shooting: Man who killed texter had been texting, too

Source: CS Monitor

Curtis Reeves’s son was late. So, at 1:04 p.m. on Jan. 13, Mr. Reeves, a retired police officer, sent his son a text, telling him that he and his wife had gone into the movie theater and were seated. 

Not so unusual – except that, just minutes later, Reeves shot to death another theatergoer when the man refused to stop texting during the movie previews. 

FULL story at link. 

Read more:


2. It Was Still Self Defense

The guy had no choice. Popcorn was being thrown at him.


9. It was a salt and buttery


On an OP by Judi Lynn  

Retrial set for Fla. man in loud music killing

Source: Associated Press

Retrial set for Fla. man in loud music killing 

| March 14, 2014 | Updated: March 14, 2014 3:16pm 

JACKSONVILLE, Fla. (AP) — A Florida man convicted of attempted murder in a confrontation over loud music won't be sentenced until after his retrial on a murder charge. 

A Duval County judge made that decision Friday and also scheduled Michael Dunn's new trial for May 5. 

Dunn had been scheduled this month to be sentenced for attempted murder and firing into a vehicle, but his attorney was concerned that statements Dunn makes at a sentencing hearing could be used against him in his second trial. 

Jurors deadlocked last month on the murder charge against Dunn in the shooting of 17-year-old Jordan Davis outside a Jacksonville convenience store. Prosecutors said they would retry him.

Read more: 


5. I do hope he goes to jail for a very long time. nt


6. ... with the guy in the next cell blasting music. nt


9. Specifically, rap

At bone-loosening volume.


On an OP by William769  

‘One Million Moms’ outraged over ‘sexual perversion’ of Honey Maid campaign

The 64,000 members of “One Million Moms” are targeting Nabisco over its “This is Wholesome” campaign that prominent features a same-sex couple and their children. 

“Nabisco should be ashamed of themselves” for attempting to “normalize sin,” said the group, in its latest missive.

The company behind Honey Maid graham crackers and Teddy Grahams, unveiled the diversity-rich advertising campaign earlier this month, featuring same-sex parents among its collection of real American families. 

“This commercial not only promotes homosexuality, but then calls the scene in the advertisement wholesome,” chided the group. “One Million Moms stands up for Biblical truth which is very clear in Romans 1:26-27 about this particular type of sexual perversion.” 



17. More like "A Couple of Dozen of Hateful Moms Who Struggle With Numbers"


70. Yes, the moms don't seem to be very smart cookies, and quite frankly a bit crackers.

Is that too judgmental?


21. I'm a proud member of One Million Grandmas, and I say STFU!


On an OP by meegbear  

OKC Fox affiliate "accidentally" cuts human evolution from Cosmos

Here's a transcript of what was cut from the feed in OKC: 

"Three and a half million years ago our ancestors, yours and mine, left these traces. We stood up, and parted ways from them. Once we stood on two feet, our eyes were no longer fixated on the ground. Now we were free to look up, and wonder." 

Hmmmmmm ....


5. They feared Neil might display an evolution chart.

And millions of Oklahomans would collectively ask: "Who is that in front of me?"


8. God works in mysterious ways

especially at local Fox stations.


13. I'm sure everyone's seen this, but it's too appropriate to not be in the thread.


On an OP by alp227  

Denver News Station Accidentally Puts A Big Ol' Penis On The Air


By the way it's a coincidence Denver and Seattle are the two cities with the teams that made the Super Bowl. I wonder if there was some hidden message directed towards the Seahawks?

El Supremo  

2. Dicks at Fox News.

We knew that already. 

Arugula Latte  

6. Is that what is called a "news tease"?

Vashta Nerada  

11. What a dick thing to do.


14. Now that's what I call hard copy.

And this story keeps getting bigger.


17. Soft News...


18. I thought this was another Limbaugh thread...nt


29. They'll go to great lengths for ratings...

Just sayin'.


OP by alsame  

GWB Scandal - in Peeps

Fort Peep's traffic problems: Professor creates candy diorama of Christie bridge scandal 


Every year, the Washington Post holds a Peeps Contest, asking readers to create dioramas of historical or current events featuring characters made from Peeps — those sugar-coated marshmallow treats that populate Easter baskets. 

And every year, George Washington University political science professor Sarah Binder and her daughter craft one of their own. 

Their entry this year is of a topic familiar to New Jerseyans: the George Washington Bridge scandal. 

Their diorama depicts a traffic jam in the fictional town of Fort Peep, with a multicolored array of bunnies stuck at EZ-Peep lanes at the George Washington Bridge. 


On an OP by Purveyor  

The New Republic Of Veneto? Venice To Vote On Seceding From Italy

By Agence France-Presse 
Monday, March 17, 2014 11:11 EDT 

Italians in Venice and its surrounding region are voting this week on whether to break away from the rest of the country and form their own country, organisers told AFP on Monday. 

The online vote, organised by local independence parties, is not legally binding but aims to galvanise support for a bill calling for a referendum on whether the region of Veneto should split from Italy. 

The new Republic of Veneto would be inspired by the ancient Venetian republic — a rich economic, cultural and trading power which existed from the 7th century until its fall to Napoleon in 1797. 

The Indipendenza Veneta party behind the bill said the separatist movement was fuelled by the government’s apparent inability to stamp down on corruption, protect its citizens from a damaging recession and plug waste in the poorer south. 

“We no longer want to be part of a country that has gone to the wall. Nothing works anymore,” Nicola Gardin from the party said. 



Baitball Blogger  

3. They already have a proposed new name.



On an OP by Blue_Tires  

Robot writes LA Times earthquake breaking news article

The Los Angeles Times was the first newspaper to publish a story about an earthquake on Monday - thanks to a robot writer. 

Journalist and programmer Ken Schwencke created an algorithm that automatically generates a short article when an earthquake occurs. 

Mr Schwencke told Slate magazine that it took around three minutes for the story to appear online. 

The LA Times is a pioneer in the technology which draws on trusted sources - such as the US Geological Survey - and places data into a pre-written template. 

As well as the earthquake report, it also uses another algorithm to generate stories about crime in the city - with human editors deciding which ones need greater attention. 

Other news organisations have experimented with algorithm-based reporting methods in other areas, particularly sports. 

The generated story does not replace the journalist, Mr Schwencke argued, but instead allows available data to be quickly gathered and disseminated. 


What's that word when you're very, very impressed with technological advances, yet scared shitless at the same time??


1. I think the word is "writer." If you're a professional writer,

you're scared shitless at this kind of story.


2. Next up, the robot that writes Justin Bieber/Miley Cyrus stories automatically

It will fill in (drug), (obscenity), (location) as it happens


7. Next: Times Stymied as Wascawwy Wobot Wepowtew Wites Mad Wibs


On an OP by pscot  

Diego Garcia is a small island in the Indian Ocean

It's famous for just one thing. If you extend a line on the map from where flt 370 quit responding, through the locus of the mysterious radar blips and out 2000 miles, Oh, look. 


41. That would leave a giant footprint


42. Kick

For an arch reply. We'll see if your analysis has legs.


45. I'll feel like a heel

if it turns out our military stole that aircraft.


46. That is yet tibia determined

Don't be toe defeetist just yet.


47. This sub-thread is callous

and corny. 
But, you're a shoe-in for DU's pun king.


48. Thanks for your soleful reply--I smell where you're coming from

But Conversely, that's also just what a sock puppet would say. Who else would be punking me by subtly sneaking flattery into a shoe remark to step up his pun cred? Or was it intended as an insole-t? Hmmm...I may be tripping myself up by overthinking this...

Put your hip-waders on and check out the rest of the thread


On an OP by groundloop  

Search for Missing Malaysia Airlines Flight 370 Drastically Narrows

Source: ABC News

American and British aviation officials have refined satellite signals from the missing Malaysia Flight 370 and created two possible flight paths that dramatically narrow the scope of the search to an area off the coast of Australia. 

The two possible paths have the plane heading toward the South Pole and ending, experts believe, off of Australia. 

U.S. officials familiar with the investigation tell ABC News that the hourly satellite pings from the jet had yielded far more clues than expected, enabling the focus of the search to be cut in half - from an area roughly the size of Texas to that of Arizona. 

Calculations by UK and US experts had now been handed over to the Australians to help with the search. 

Read more: 

Well, here's another news report to add to the confusion. This potential flight path doesn't seem to make any sense, but at least it's consistent with several reports from fishermen who claim to have seen the plane flying in a southerly direction.


1. Hijacking a plane to Antarctica makes zero sense. n/t

Spitfire of ATJ  

24. Unless....

Posted by Flying Squirrel | Fri Mar 21, 2014, 01:10 AM (44 replies)

*** Aaaand we're back! Return of the DUzy Awards -- Squirrel is not a groundhog edition! ***


(Well, ok, not everywhere…. But hey, I'm a squirrel not a groundhog!)

That can mean only one thing:

The return of…..


Special thanks to everyone who contributed to this edition, either by responding to a post with "DUzy" in the subject line or by sending me a PM. The DUzy awards couldn't happen without you!

On an OP by Walk away

Does anyone know how to stop DU from automatically charging my credit card account???

I still intend to pay for my membership but NOT on auto-pay I have tried the various forums and I have emailed Skinner and every other address I could find. Apparently I am not the only one who can't get a response. I NEVER knowingly agree to auto pay ANYTHING and I'm pretty upset about not getting an answer about this. 
All I can do is keep posting for help until I get an answer. There should never be a problem with this kind of thing on any site for any reason.

This is on edit: 
I just received an email from Skinner and everything is taken care of. Thanks for all advise and attention. 


4. Everytime you use all caps it comes out of your credit card.

GD's kept DU afloat for years.


On an OP by MannyGoldstein  

My dumbest question ever... how do people shtup these days?

No, of course I know a variety of parts and places they can go, I mean the process leading up to the deed. 

A friend of ours is getting divorced, a former fraternity brother. Nasty divorce after decades, I guess it happens but a head scratcher. He'll do fine, as will his ex, both lovely high-functioning people. 

He's starting to date again which has me thinking back to our fraternity days (Carl Sagan's next-door neighbors, coincidentally). Back then, the process normally consisted of dancing, alcohol (and sometimes other state-enhancers), kissing, yadda yadda yadda... Then


1. Well we can go back to the very first days.

I'm sure at one time we peed and threw our own feces at each other to express gratitude and general attraction. Those things came from us, so we probably thought they were valuable. 

Future dating one day will be done on machines...oh...nm...

Warren DeMontague  

139. "at one time we peed & threw our own feces at each other to express gratitude & general attraction"

Yeah, but meta got shut down, remember?


On an OP by alp227  

NJ court ruling blocking newborn's dad from delivery room is first in nation

Source: The Star-Ledger

TRENTON — A woman preparing to give birth can bar the father of their child from entering the delivery room, a New Jersey judge has ruled in one of the first cases of its kind nationwide. 

The ruling settled a legal dispute that was argued the very day the woman gave birth. Superior Court Judge Sohail Mohammed said all patients — and pregnant women especially — enjoy strong privacy protections that let them decide who can be at their hospital bedside. 

Fathers, on the other hand, have no established legal right to be present at the birth of their children, the judge wrote.

"Any interest a father has before the child’s birth is subordinate to the mother’s interests," Mohammed wrote. "Even when there is no doubt that a father has shown deep and proper concern and interest in the growth and development of the fetus, the mother is the one who must carry it to term." 

Read more:

My Good Babushka  

131. In my case, I'd have preferred it if the father were present at the childbirth

instead of me.


On an OP by The Straight Story  

'Real-life Barbie' wants to live off light and air

The Ukrainian woman known as the "real-life Barbie" says she's done with food and water, and wants to live off light and air alone. 

"In recent weeks I have not been hungry at all," Valeria Lukyanova told the International Business Times. "I'm hoping it's the final stage before I can subsist on air and light alone." 

The New Age practice is known as Breatharianism. Its followers neither eat nor drink, believing they can exist solely on "cosmic micro-food." 

Lukyanova, who has stirred controversy with her doll-like features and ultra-thin waist, has said she uses her appearance to promote her "spiritual ideas." 



1. if she continues with this lunacy, she'll achieve her ultimate Barbie dream:

Being put in a box. 


On an OP by LiberalEsto  

Family Eats LSD-Tainted Meat, Goes Home With a New Brother

From NBC News: 

"Local, state and federal investigators were all trying to figure out Friday how LSD got into a Walmart steak that sent a nine-months-pregnant Florida woman, her boyfriend and her two daughters to the hospital. 

All four were doing fine after the incident Monday night. Make that five — while being treated at the hospital, Jessica Rosado gave birth to a healthy baby boy. 

Tampa Police Chief Jane Castor said at a news conference Friday there was no indication that Rosado, 31, her boyfriend, Ronnie Morales, 24, or her daughters — Elyana Serrano, 7, and Rayna Serrano, who celebrated her sixth birthday Friday — had any idea that the bottom round steak they ate Monday night was contaminated with the hallucinogen." 

The meat was traced to a Tampa Walmart, according to the article. 


5. She gave birth while TRIPPING?

THAT is going to feel either utterly terrifying or utterly the most amazing thing will ever happen in the entire Universe.


6. And the baby was all purple paisley! nt


13. They named the baby "Tripp"

Sorry, that one just blared out to me! 


On an OP by nadinbrzezinski  

Yes, it is about the children (E Cigs)

So when I grew up, and I am sure if you are above a certain age, when you did grow up, this was common. 

Hell, there are still stories running these days, and we should know better, about how it can keep you skinny. I guess a heart attack is great as long as your are thing. 
Liberal Veteran  

73. Hah! Shows what you know.

/channel Pat Robertson 

See? The Powerpuff Girls! 

Look at them! They appear to innocent cartoons, but they are trying to ensnare children into electronic cigarettes! 

Even the name says it: Power (like electricity!) is code for the "e". Puff (like the vapor of from these tools of satanic addiction!). 

And look at the pretty colors! Just what you would expect to entice children. 

See how their eyes are big and dilated? Dilation is caused by stimulants! You know what nicotine is? A stimulant! 

And they obviously are so strong and can fly because they partake of these so-called "e-cig". 

/unchannel Pat Robertson 


39. yeah but...


48. lmao.

Wonder if the Vapes come in carrot.  BTW... looks more like a doobie to me. Good bunny.


On an OP by rurallib  

The main argument against totaling legalizing marijuana is

that it affects judgment and reaction etc. and ability to perceive reality. 

Why then is Republicanism legal?


6. Heck....

I figured the Rethugs would be all for legalization. Being as they believe it makes every user stupid.....they could voter recruit outside the weed stores. 


8. girl scout cookie stands and republican voter recruiting table

an interesting mix.


13. The Girl Scouts

would win! 


On an OP by onehandle  

Greatest Pharmacist Ever Prescribes Anti-Monster Spray for 6-Year-Old

If there's an award for the most adorable prescription of the year, pharmacist Jeff Dodds of Watford City, North Dakota has this year's title on lockdown. And all it took was some creative labeling and a very sleepy six-year-old girl with a monster problem. 

While at the local Barrett Pharmacy & Variety, a little girl approached Dodds with a not-entirely-medical condition; all those monsters under her bed were keeping her up at night. And being the resourceful pharmacist that he is, Dodds decided to whip up a cure of his own concoction, ultimately producing the holy grail for frightened children everywhere—100% pharmacist-certified anti-monster spray. 

The instructions are simple enough: "Spray around the room at night before bed, repeat if necessary." But this one simple, kind act has likely done loads for the girl's own peace of mind. Not to mention what it's done to restore our faith in humanity. The world could definitely use a few more Jeff Dodds. 



3. Stupid.

This is going to result in an explosion of anti-monster-spray-resistant monsters. 


On an OP by Guy Whitey Corngood  

Couple Attacked by Cat Say They'll Get It Help

Oregon owners of a 22-pound housecat who trapped them in their bedroom after attacking their baby say they're not giving up on their pet and are getting it medical attention and therapy. 

Two days after police arrived to subdue the 4-year-old part-Himalayan cat, owner Lee Palmer of Portland says he's taking the feline to a veterinarian. A pet psychologist also is due at the house to see the cat, named Lux. 

Palmer says the animal attacked after the 7-month-old child pulled its tail. The baby wasn't injured. 

On the 911 call, the cat can be heard screeching in the background as Palmer says in a panicked voice: "He's charging us. He's at our bedroom door." Palmer also tells the dispatcher the cat has a "history of violence." 



5. I can see it now...


11. When I read your post title, I envisioned Dr. Phil being attacked by that cat.


18. "Totally taken out of context." - Cat


On an OP by Laura PourMeADrink 

Former Republican comes up with most succinct campaign slogan for us !

Charlie Crist, former Republican, sums up what's wrong with the Republican 
Party today, just now to Candy on CNN: 

"Republicans are perceived as... 







Pretty soon, there's no one left." 


6. ANTI Em

Yes they hate the Wizard of Oz too.


On an OP by Playinghardball  

Fox News Misspells “Spelling Bee”

To be fair, this happened at 5 a.m. the day after Daylight Saving, but still… 

See the video at: http://www.buzzfeed.com/dorsey/fox-news-misspells-spelling-bee

Wait Wut  

1. Not a surprise...

...they've been spelling 'FAUX' incorrectly for years.


3. Is Dan Quayle working for them now?


4. No, because he would have

Added an E like he did for potatoe. 


9. Shows how careless they are

Of all people, right wingers should work hard and take pride in their work. Maybe it's a lie that they think hard work is such a good thing.


28. It's ok, their viewers didn't notice.


On an OP by wyldwolf  

Say what you want about G.W. Bush, but he wouldn't have stood for Russian aggression in the Ukraine

He'd have invaded New Zealand by now. 


2. George W Bush: "We are all Uraniums".


On an OP by HarveyDarkey  

Sean Hannity Mocks Obama For Wearing Bicycle Helmet: "It's Embarrassing"

Just in case you're wondering: http://mm4a.org/1q83D44 


2. I encourage Hannity to bike more without a helmet.

After all, in his case, what could it hurt? 

Capt. Obvious  

14. Sean is just jealous

because they don't make helmets big enough for his giant head.


39. Sean Hannity is an example of the terrible consequences of not wearing a helmet


75. Of not wearing a condom


57. THIS one?


68. it's in the GOP's interest to encourage brain damage n/t

 Warren DeMontague  

86. Sean "Hair Helmet" Hannity is in no position to mock.

Seriously, dude, Lego called, they want it back. 


On an OP by Joel thakkar  

Missing Plane May Be In Pakistan - Fox News Says...

Yeah right...the plane crossed whole china and India....2 very large countries and most populated countries..but still no one noticed that plane was going to pakistan...


6. I am impressed!

They have all the countries in the right locations


8. Really? I thought by now it would be in Benghazi.


On an OP by brooklynite  

REPORT: China Has Satellite Images Of What May Be The Missing Plane

Source: Business INsider

Chinese officials may have satellite images of debris that could be from the Malaysia Airlines 777 jet that's been missing for five days. 

From CNN Senior Producer Vaughn Sterling: 

CNN BREAKING: China satellite images show 3 suspected floating objects sized 13x18, 14x19 and 24 x22 (units are meters) 

— Vaughn Sterling (@vplus) March 12, 2014

Read more: http://www.businessinsider.com/reported-chinese-satellite-images-2014-3 


8. where are our satellites?

I find this story so strange. Where are all of our brazillon dollar spy satellites to find this plane? Or do we not want to reveal all the stuff we can see with them? 



13. Those satellites are busy spying on us nt


On an OP by Hissyspit  

Report: Missing Airplane Flew On For Hours

Source: Associated Press


Mar. 13, 2014 1:20 AM EDT 

KUALA LUMPUR, Malaysia (AP) — The Wall Street Journal is reporting that U.S. investigators suspect a missing Malaysian jetliner flew on for four hours once it lost contact with air traffic controllers. 

The suspicion is based on data from the plane's engines that are automatically downloaded and transmitted to the ground as part of routine maintenance programs. 

The report raises questions as to why the Boeing 777 was flying like that, and if anyone was in control during that time.

The plane's last known confirmed position was roughly halfway between Malaysia and Vietnam.

Read more: http://bigstory.ap.org/article/report-missing-airplane-flew-hours 


16. First flight investigation I can remember that resembles DU.

It flew on for hours. 
Well, It flew on for an hour. 
Well, where is it then? 
So you think the Malaysian authorities are lying? 
Who doesn't lie? 
Are you calling me a liar? 



On an OP by babylonsister  

As Ratings Plunge NBC Considers Dumping David Gregory From Meet The Press


As Ratings Plunge NBC Considers Dumping David Gregory From Meet The Press 
By: Jason Easley 
Thursday, March, 13th, 2014, 3:04 pm

NBC’s Meet The Press is cratering under David Gregory, which is why the head of NBC News is meeting with him to discuss “format changes” to the show. If Meet The Press continues to struggle, Gregory will be gone. 

8. They can't get rid of "Dances with

Roves" too soon for my taste.


Keep up the good work, DU!

Posted by Flying Squirrel | Fri Mar 14, 2014, 03:20 AM (37 replies)

Winter is over

I made it through another period of darkness...

So how 'bout them DUzy Awards?

Posted by Flying Squirrel | Wed Mar 12, 2014, 05:51 PM (16 replies)

Dear Gentlemen of DU

(Those of you who insist on perpetuating - for your part - the so-called "Gender Wars"):

I don't often do this, so please hear me out with an open mind if you can.

Like many DU'ers, I've tried my best to ignore the near-constant strife by trashing threads, trashing forums, ignoring posters, etc. I just really don't want any part of it, and would prefer that it just did not exist here on DU.

Yet still it somehow manages to get through, on "Trending Now" etc. This one, for example, is good reading material, and it reminded me of something in my own past which I'm hoping might finally get through to anyone who is willing to read it.

When I was in my late 20's and early 30's, I worked as a school bus driver. We had a very long break in the middle of the day, of course, and some of us would occasionally remain at work in the break room and play cards for several hours. I was one of the most vocal card players, being loud and using foul language which offended one older lady in particular. She complained to me and then to management, which did not change my behavior - I insisted that I had the absolute right to use whatever language at whatever volume I wanted, this was a free country.

Fast forward about 10 years, and I was working a program of recovery from alcoholism which required me to identify 'wreckage' I had caused in my past, whether or not it was due to being drunk at the time, and attempt to make amends. Lo and behold, in this process of self-examination I realized that I had been wrong to refuse to modify my behavior for the benefit of this person. Sure, if she didn't like it she could go somewhere else - but should she have to? There's an old saying, "Your right to swing your fists ends at my face." I think it applies here.

There are some who seem to view the HoF forum as a group of Amazon women who will not rest until they have personally cut off the private parts of every man on DU (followed by the world). I assure you, your manhood - such as it is - will remain intact if you modify your behavior slightly to accomodate those on DU who think differently from you. In fact, this would probably make you even more of a man - because the defining characteristic of a man is not his lust for women, it is his mastery over himself and his ability to do things he might prefer not to do (or, to refrain from doing things he might want to do) - either for his own good or the good of others, or both.

Here's another example: What if the gay men on this site were to start posting pictures and videos in GD objectifying men? Guess what, they don't do that. Think about that for just a minute, dear reader. The men on this message board who don't lust after women are actually more man-ly than some of you, as they actually consider the consequences of their actions and refrain from intentionally offending others who think differently (or are different) from themselves.

Is it really worth fighting for the ability to post SI covers and video of Kate Upton in free fall in GD? Yeah, I'm a red-blooded male, I clicked on the video. The first one was interesting and the second one was titillating. That kind of stuff is all over the internet - If you want to see it, it's there for you. Does it also have to be here on DU? That's not why I come here, I come here for real political and news content.

Some of us use DU as a "break room", while for others of us DU is more of an actual workplace. Either way, it might behoove you to try and act as though your fellow DU'ers (even the ones you don't like) are in fact your co-workers, and make an effort to get along with them even if you don't agree with them. These constant battles on DU detract from our primary purpose - by continuing them, you're doing the GOP's dirty work for them. I guarantee you, you will not win this battle and the reason you won't is because it is not a righteous battle. If I were Skinner, I'd Be tempted to PPR you all.
Posted by Flying Squirrel | Sat Feb 22, 2014, 07:59 PM (436 replies)
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