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Member since: Fri Nov 20, 2009, 01:17 PM
Number of posts: 6,383

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Not sure what is wrong with me.

Was in the neurology ICU a couple years ago for a week with what was diagnosed as Guillain Barre Syndrome. Got better slowly, then in the last year I've been having bad spells again. Didn't want to bug the docs so I was trying to just tough them out. (Army docs, especially neurologists, are very busy these days.)

Well, this bad spell was a little worse than the other ones and the bad spells are coming closer together and I finally decided to bite the bullet and go to the doctor.

Now, two years ago, my spinal fluid showed ogoclonal bands (something like that, unsure of spelling) that indicate either MS or GBS. The doc thought the case presented more like GBS than MS so I was reassured.

They checked my reflexes. Knees great, ankle reflexes mute (absent) and a positive babinski's reflex (not a good thing) on the bottom of the foot.

Doc wanted me in an MRI that evening and admitted to hospital again. I tried, I really tried. My first time in a traditional small-bore closed MRI. Long very narrow tube. Had a panic attack/claustrophobia. I never even knew I was claustrophobic. Just could not do it. Doctors were pissed, don't blame them one bit, I was being a big baby. Anyway we will try again when there is another opening, but this time the doc prescribed me 10mg valium with another 10 in reserve just in case. Full spine MRI and brain MRI. Hopefully I can get ahold of myself with the help of the valium, this time I will not open my eyes in the tube, and I will be okay.

So, back to the labs today, another dozen or so vials of blood drawn. Lots of tests I guess. Referral to neuromuscular clinic in neurology.

Not feeling that great, low energy, just want to lie in bed all day, have to force myself to get up and do stuff. numb feet and semi-numb legs.

Doc thinks it's either CIPD (chronic form of GBS) or MS or possibly something wrong (tumor?) in my spinal cord/brain. We'll see.

I'm actually more afraid of failing to endure the MRI, than I am of the actual disease. I don't want to fail again. And I have to do it there, Army does not give choices.

Thank you for listening, just wanted to tell my story I think.

Oh, went back home with hubby, who told the doc he'd bring me back in if I got a lot worse, had trouble breathing/swallowing etc. I am glad I'm home, did not want to be hospitalized again.

If you could choose an "official" song for DU, what would it be?

It could be a song that represents what you would like DU to be, or what it is now, or really just any aspect of DU that you see.

This is the song that I would pick as the official song for DU if it was all put up to a vote:

DU, we are GOOD.

I was recently told of a fairy tale town that does the most beautiful thing.

When someone does something hurtful and wrong, they take the person to the center of town, and the entire town comes and surrounds him or her. For two days they'll tell the man or woman every good thing he or she has ever done.

The people of the town believe that every human being comes into the world as GOOD, each of us desiring safety, love, peace, happiness.

But sometimes in the pursuit of those things people make mistakes. The community sees misdeeds as a cry for help.

They band together for the sake of their fellow man or woman to hold him or her up, to reconnect him or her with his or her TRUE NATURE, to remind him or her who they really are, until he or she fully remembers the truth from which they'd temporarily been disconnected. "I AM GOOD."

(I found this on facebook. Thought it might be helpful.)

I love freshly baked bread in the Fall and Winter. Does anyone else?

I find that it's not much work at all to put the ingredients in my bread machine and let the dough rise there as it stays at the proper temperature. Then I take the raw dough out, shape it, and bake it in the oven (I like the shape of it better and the crust better when it bakes in the oven, just seems to turn out better that way.)

Is anyone else baking some homemade bread/biscuits etc. these days? It sure is a nice smell when the bread is baking!

My faith in DU has been restored. Thank you all.

I'm sorry I doubted you, and felt our voices weren't being heard or taken into account. I can see now that sometimes action might be a little slow in coming, but it does eventually get taken. Thank you.

I had cancelled my payments to DU over this in protest. I am restoring them because I believe in DU again.

I'm sorry some of my wording and posts were OTT. Some posters took me to task over that and I see I was wrong in using hyperbole.

I am glad now for the peace on DU.

Wow. I'm sorry you got a hate-gram too.

I am grateful for all who step forward and alert on any bullying, and who share their stories. This stuff loses its power when exposed to light.

If this behavior is not ban-worthy, surely it must be warning-worthy?
Posted by LiberalLoner | Tue Dec 4, 2012, 09:23 PM (3 replies)

Would you like to hear my solution to the problem?

The one I came up with at five years old?

I prayed (was brought up Lutheran) for God to make me be like my Barbie doll. No holes where people could hurt me anymore.

It has never occurred to me, all my life, to wish for men to vanish or be harmed as a group.

I only wanted to be safe.

I only want to be safe.
Posted by LiberalLoner | Tue Dec 4, 2012, 04:53 PM (0 replies)

I just got this e-mail from "The Doctor." Unsolicited and unwanted.

If you can't be bothered to be honest about what you've read,

Then yes, please leave.

I need no more proof of the overwhelming anti-male attitude on DU, and the bullshit claim that 'misogyny' is even the least bit tolerated here than with that thread.

There was nothing any more sexist in that thread than all of the railing we've seen about all men being 'potential rapists'. Sadly, you too plug stupid to even see that that wasn't the point of the OP.

The stats weren't there to point out that 'women are liars', even though women do, in fact lie men into jail all the time. No, the point was that we shouldn't teach young people to fear the opposite sex and that we should give women more credit than to instill such fear in them.

It was an entirely positive message, but you outrageaholics can't for one moment get past your Eternal Crusade to Quash Misogyny long enough to be bothered to understand what's in front of you.

So yes, so long as you misandrists who see every man with a point that doesn't march in lock-step with your crusade as 'sexist', I do hope you leave DU and it can't be soon enough.

If, by some miracle, you actually bother to understand what I wrote and why I used the information that I did and wish to apologize, I won't know about it because you will be on ignore. Please have someone else tell me you have done so, so that I might take you off ignore and have an adult discussion.
Since your type is entirely predictable, however, I will assume that you will resort to further self-indulgent indignation and turn to anger at me regardless of the fact that I've done virtually nothing to deserve it.... up until this PM.

I won't know that you left DU, so let me just say good bye now, and good luck.

And please, grow up.

Dr. E

In light of all the recent upheaval, I would like to dedicate this song to DU.

Man, woman, gay, straight, no matter the religion or lack of religion or type of skin color or ethnicity or what part of the country you are from or even what country you are from....

This song is for you. It's for all of us.

It's been a tough few days.

Posted by LiberalLoner | Mon Dec 3, 2012, 01:17 PM (1 replies)

some of us have about had enough of rape apologists

Just sayin'

You know what is bad about rape? Not so much the minutes of the act itself

Its the nightmares at night

Its the way you throw up over a post about rape fantasy

Its the cuts on the arm trying to stop the pain

Its thinking about suicide every fucking day

Its hearing people imply you deserve what happened to you because you are worthless and even God hates you.....and deep down agreeing with those people and thinking, yeah, I have no right to live. And yeah, God must hate me.

The few minutes of pain each time I was raped as a young child were not unbearable. It wasnt even unbearable each time i lost a nights sleep because i hurt so bad "down there" afterwards

What is really unbearable is surviving with the memories and hearing people talk about how deep down I wanted it or did something to deserve it or how I should just shut the fuck up already

So yeah here you go, i will shut the fuck up already....please proceed to educate me about rape
Posted by LiberalLoner | Mon Dec 3, 2012, 06:49 AM (2 replies)
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