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Nuclear Unicorn

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Member since: Wed Sep 16, 2009, 07:33 PM
Number of posts: 13,281

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Well, I suppose that's one way of dealing with it.

My old boss retired and my husband's boss has recently taken me on part-time to help sort out his acounting. He's a good business man but a lousy organizer.

Anyway, it's very blue-collar work. The men on the crews all work very hard in rather uncomfortable conditions for long, grueling hours in a fairly hazardous profession. They pop into the trailer where I work to file payroll or whatnot and they're all dirty, grubby and such Honestly, I knew my husband got dirty but I never realized how bad as he showered before he got home. One guy on my husband's crew is a nice kid (Can I call him a kid? He's 19 and I'm 24). but it seems he has a "thing" for me.

He's always polite and nothing approaching a threat but he's a little slow. My husband long ago took "the kid" under his wing after the kid was barred from enlisting for not scoring high enough on the ASVAB. He's a hard worker and a natural talent working on heavy machinery but you know how some folks are when it comes to test-taking.

Still, when he comes into the trailer he tends to be overly conversational and a few times he'll just stand there and smile sweetly despite my having asked if there is anything he needs until someone else comes along and shoos him away. I mentioned it to my husband who -- perpetual jokester that he is -- asked if I wanted the kid beaten-up at "recess." I instructed him that such extremes would not be necessary.

Last night, towards the end of the day the kid was once again in the trailer just sort of standing there smiling. My husband entered and I figured he would send the kid on his way but my husband instead turned on his heel before he got through the door and left the kid and I there alone.

What the -- ?!?! I just went on organizing my papers.

A few minutes later my husband returned and told the kid he had found the kid's phone someplace it might get sat-on or some words to that effect. The kid took the phone and sat down as my husband went to the back office.

All of a sudden the sound -- the very loud sound -- of flatulence ripped (Can I say "ripped"?) through the trailer. I looked up at the kid who was just sitting there half-giggling (I think it was the male reflex to the sound of farting) until another one sounded. And then another followed by another. Half-amused was replaced by absolute dread as the kid realized he was making those noises. He grabbed his phone as it continued breaking wind --now even louder that it was out in the open -- and looked at me in dread, trying to explain with a small amount of panic that it wasn't him. He fumbled with his phone until it was silenced and fled out into the work yard.

My husband came out of the back office explaining that when a man wants to date a girl he won't allow himself to fart in front of her. Thankfully, he added on his own behalf, he didn't have that problem as he was a married man. It seems he took the kid's phone and downloaded the sound effects and set those sounds as the kid's ringtone. I shook my head and told him, "You are so mean."

He admitted as much but then asked -- with that stupid grin he gets when he knows he's gotten to me --if he could call me sometime.

I punched the giggling boob in the arm.
Posted by Nuclear Unicorn | Fri Feb 1, 2013, 09:11 AM (4 replies)
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