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Member since: Tue Jun 16, 2009, 04:09 PM
Number of posts: 2,072

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Final Campaign Card. Down & Dirty!

Whenever I go out in public wearing my "Kochroaches Are People, My Friend" button, I ALWAYS get the most hateful stares from the OC trophy wives. We're talking Catherine Zeta-Jones at the end of "Traffic." We're talking that iconic shot from "Gimme Shelter" where the Hell's Angel is staring at Mick Jagger with hatred you can feel.

This one's for all Trophy Wives In Training!

I will not be subjected to criminal abuse.

The October 26 release of Cloud Atlas is not a coincidence. Neither is the flurry of "This is HARD! Stop It! Gotta read the book or the movie doesn't make sense" reviews currently spewing out the MSM-hole.

The douchebags who own our culture would rather not deal with millions of theater patrons on their way to the polls with this (repeated) line from the film fresh in their minds:

I will not be subjected to criminal abuse.

That line should be the official motto of progressives everywhere and most of us won't even hear it until Thanksgiving.

Yeah, the film intertwines six (6!) storylines, all set in different time periods, and jumps between them seamlessly. Did you make it through Annie Hall's flashbacks-within-fantasies-within-animated-sequences OK? No permanent brain damage? You will have no problems with Cloud Atlas.

The "After The Fall" section's dialogue is spoken in a dialect resembling English and you might not pick up every line, but did that stop you from understanding A Clockwork Orange or Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels? Probably not. Heck, in one segment of Cloud Atlas, a nearly unrecognizable Hanks plays a British gangster-turned-author who handles bad reviews in a rather unforgettable fashion.

Instead of spending your Sunday on-edge about Tuesday -- nervously watching football and wondering if the rest of our lifetimes will be spent in a country where that sport holds more space in our collective conscience than collective bargaining -- do yourself and your friends, lovers, etc. a big solid: GO SEE CLOUD ATLAS!

Free martinis distilled from your own tears of rage!

How many times have you come up with something really cool, lacked the money to execute your idea, been refused help from the people you pitched your "stupid" idea to, only to find out months later that a corporation like Disney now "owns" your idea?

Darth Bambi will comfort you with martinis distilled from your own tears of rage.


I crack myself up. Killing trolls. On a Fantasy Forum!

My reply to a troll on an "I Hate Mitt Romney" thread on another forum... Had to share.

No idea why you people hate Romney so much. When the alternative is Obama (I could go ON AND ON about how Obama is a f**king scumbag that deserves ***edited to remove content that could be perceived as a threat -Rayven*** if you want), I'm voting for Romney.

Absolutely, dude. In fact, I tried to help Bill O'Reilly the other day. As you are probably well aware, he and his gang of Hooters waitresses over at FOX have been trying in vain to construct a campaign-busting scandal out of the terrorist attack on the US embassy in Benghazi (which is in Libya, which is in Africa, which is somewhere to the south of France... I'm pretty sure about that).

When Bill-Bo wondered aloud (which is his favorite way to wonder, BTW) to one of his guests (might have been that Charles Nadhammer guy, or maybe it was that guy from SNL who wants to be Moe Greene) "Why isn't Benghazi 'catching on?'" I snapped into action.

I texted his people what would have been a sure-fire idea to get Benghazi stuck in the collective craw of Everybody's Uncle Bob:

Run off about a million pairs of plus-sized, made-in-China, hot-pink sweatpants with the word "LIBYA" plastered across the ass.


For some reason, Bildo totally ignored my suggestion... and now he is paying the price.

Why don't Republicans have any imagination? And why are they totally incapable of being honest with anyone, most of all themselves?

Pathetic. Their loss, man.

Darth Bambi speaks to you about Disney, the Monsanto of the Mind (tm)

Red Army parties with Wehrmacht in Warsaw suburbs. Poland hangs on to razor-thin lead! CNN

Really, God? Another GIFT? (FIXED)

EDIT: I think they are having javascript-itis over there. Here ya go:

LADIES!!! Care to caption my friend's picture?

Handy reverse cheat sheet ID's all "Solid Christian Conservatives" in CA election.

If you are confused about how to vote on some of the trickier stuff on the ballot in California (Like the South Coast Water District), I found this handy little reverse-cheat-sheet. Thank you Nancy Sandoval for putting together a convenient list of "Solid Christian Conservatives" for us to vote against.

Just look at her list and do the polar opposite of what she says. She has put a lot of time and effort into this and manages to identify even the sneaky stealth candidates.

Just be careful with her "NO" vote on Prop. 31. That may actually be a NO. It seems like everybody hates that one.


Got my mail-in ballot today...

National races are a no-brainer...

Issa will win; thanks to redistricting the suckers who elected him before don't get to vote against him now, but at least I get to vote for his opponent.

CA propositions are also pretty easy to figure out.

It's the local stuff that has me perplexed; there are three seats up for grabs in the South Coast Water District. I have been searching like a fiend trying to find anything tying any of the candidates to Monsanto (or Issa), but coming up dry.

Anyone in the OC got any dirt on this?
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