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ThisThreadIsSatire

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Member since: Thu Nov 6, 2008, 01:01 PM
Number of posts: 786

Journal Archives

An Argument Against Sex Education...

I’m afraid that if we allow sex education to be taught in our schools, the US will soon rank as poorly in sex as we do in math and science... ;D
Posted by ThisThreadIsSatire | Wed Aug 29, 2012, 01:01 PM (3 replies)

New Trade School Teaches Students to Profit from Hate

See ad for the Amalgamated School of Social Hatred and Organized Lunatic Entrepreneurial Studies here. (They do have a great acronym though...)

The Amalgamated School of Social Hatred and Organized Lunatic Entrepreneurial Studies, Inc., a for-profit corporation fully accredited by the Arizona Department of Education, is a joint venture of FreedomWorks, the Fox News Network and the Christian Broadcasting Network.
Posted by ThisThreadIsSatire | Sun Aug 26, 2012, 05:31 PM (8 replies)

Romney/Ryan Campaign Releases Medicare Plan Details

Responding to repeated calls to provide more details as to how a Romney Administration would overhaul Medicare as promised, campaign officials today released an outline of the GOP ticket’s prescription to save the ailing entitlement program.

The most anticipated, and consequently most controversial part of the plan – known as ‘New Romneycare’ — focuses on how Medicare would deal with those who do not – or cannot – purchase private insurance after receiving their Federal Premium Assistance (Voucher).

According to the outline, uninsured seniors in need of medical treatment would be able to simply call a toll-free number and provide one of the many Medicare professionals at a phone bank (located just outside Karachi, Pakistan) with their name and address.

Arrangements would then be made to have them transported – via a ‘New Romneycare’ approved vehicle – to a new type of specially designed facility described in the plan as “A Nice Farm Upstate” where, according to senior Romney health care policy advisor Mark E. Dissaud, “They’ll have lots of room and fresh air and a lot of friends their age around. It will be a much better life than they would have had at home, or worse yet, in an expensive traditional hospital or long-term care facility.”

House Speaker John Boehner hailed the ‘New Romneycare’ plan as “the breakthrough idea we’ve been searching for to consolidate, and thereby improve, the level of care provided — especially to those most in need — while cutting costs at the same time.”

After promising to “have a bill passed and ready for the new President’s signature by his first day in office,” The Bronze Clod added, “And if this program proves to be as effective a cost-saver as I believe it will, we’ll work to expand it to every American — regardless of age — who is uninsured or on Medicaid, thereby achieving our goal of universal coverage without resorting to either a socialist single-payer system or Obamacare-style Death Panels.”

Another prominent GOP leader, conservative radio talk show host and pharmaceutical aficionado Rush Limbaugh was also quick to jump on the bandwagon, bellowing at his listeners, “When ‘New Romneycare’ is finally rolled out, it will be the greatest American success story since ‘New Coke’ was introduced in 1985!”

From TheDesperateBlogger.com
Posted by ThisThreadIsSatire | Tue Aug 21, 2012, 10:42 PM (3 replies)

More News on the VP Selection Process

Word has it that Romney considered taking Rafalca as his running mate, but according to the Olympic judges Ryan is the better dancer...
Posted by ThisThreadIsSatire | Sat Aug 11, 2012, 10:14 AM (1 replies)

The Bright Side of the VP Choice

I'm pleasantly surprised that Mitt Romney chose to go with an American running mate instead of finding a politician from India or China...
Posted by ThisThreadIsSatire | Sat Aug 11, 2012, 09:19 AM (4 replies)

BREAKING: Rising GOP Star Commits Political Suicide

from The Desperate Blogger

House Budget Committee Chairman Paul Ryan (R-WI) has sadly taken his own very promising political life by agreeing to accept former Massachusetts Governor Mitt Romney’s offer to serve as his Vice Presidential running mate in the November general election.

Congressman Ryan was 42.

Ryan, who first recklessly jeopardized his career in 2010 by proposing a budget that would, among other things, turn Medicare into a voucher program as well as cut discretionary domestic spending by 20% without specifying from where any of the cuts would come, was the favorite of many in his party to not only have run for President in this election — but when it became apparent that every serious Republican candidate chose to concede the election to incumbent Barack Obama by leaving the field of prospective candidates open enough for a lightweight like Gov. Romney to secure the nomination — was expected to be one of the GOP front runners for President had he chosen to run in the 2016 election — in spite of his tender age.

Congressman Ryan was eulogized on both sides of the aisle as a shining star who burned brightly, but for far too short a time.

“As low as I’ve ever felt, and as low as I’ve ever been accused of being, I’ve never felt lower than I feel today,” lamented House Speaker John Boehner, “His budget had obviously been a cry for help — and we all missed it. As leader, I must accept responsibility for the tragic loss of such a promising young man, and someone who may very well, had he lived long enough, have carried the mantle in our Party’s crusade to return to the Gilded Age of the late 19th century.”

The Bronze Clod continued, “As Republicans, our concern is not so much with Paul’s family, but rather with the future of the party. The loss of one of the very few credible candidates that we might have been able to put up in 2016 is absolutely devastating, and I for one ask the entire nation to join me in prayer to help preserve our two-party system.”

Many leading Democrats were also effusive in their praise of Rep. Ryan while expressing their mourning of his loss.

“Paul was never afraid to express his views, and unlike others in his party, he made his disdain for the elderly, the poor, and minorities clear in both his policies and in the budget he proposed in his role as chairman of the Budget Committee,” said Rep. Kathy Hochul, who was propelled to victory in her 2011 special election over her Republican opponent by the Ryan budget. “I think I speak for all Democrats when I say that Paul, and what he consistently brought to the table and Congressional deliberations, will be sorely missed, particularly over the next couple of election cycles.”
Posted by ThisThreadIsSatire | Sat Aug 11, 2012, 01:36 AM (28 replies)
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