HomeLatest ThreadsGreatest ThreadsForums & GroupsMy SubscriptionsMy Posts
DU Home » Latest Threads » johnnyplankton » Journal
Introducing Discussionist: A new forum by the creators of DU
Page: « Prev 1 2 3 Next »

johnnyplankton

Profile Information

Member since: Fri Aug 15, 2008, 09:32 PM
Number of posts: 184

Journal Archives

Texas Arms All Nursery School Students - Satire

From the Fishington Cheesington post:

“The gun manufacturers have been very helpful too," says Wil “Wild Bill” Wilkersen, director of Texas’ newly-founded Lil’ Commandos Nursery School. "We got some special weapons that they’ve designed for us that fit the hands of our little angels better. They’re seeing a great business opportunity here, just as we are, so it’s kind of a win-win. Except for Mister Stranger Danger,” he laughed.

[link:http://www.fishandcheese.com/wordpress/2012/12/26/texas-arms-all-nursery-school-students/|
Posted by johnnyplankton | Wed Dec 26, 2012, 02:37 PM (1 replies)

God Considering "Smiting" Huckabee

From the lads at the Fishington Cheesington Post:

God apparently has had enough of Mike Huckabee's BS and is thinking of "smiting him or at least throwing a couple of lightning bolts into his ass" according to a source close to the deity.

[link:http://www.fishandcheese.com/wordpress/2012/12/18/god-considering-smiting-huckabee/|
Posted by johnnyplankton | Tue Dec 18, 2012, 12:44 AM (3 replies)

Ann Romney "Thankful" To Be Away from "Those People"

The boys from the Fishington Cheesington Post just won't let the Wicked Queen go:

Belmont, MA November 23rd - Ann Romney, still in a state of shock over her husband’s defeat, told a reporter from Rich White Ladies Home Journal that she was grateful for at least one thing following the election – she no longer had to speak to or touch anyone that was “beneath her”.

“I must have gone through a 55 gallon drum of Purel during that campaign,” said a heavily sedated Romney. “I washed my hands more times than Lady MacBeth .”


[link:http://www.fishandcheese.com/wordpress/2012/11/24/ann-romney-thankful-to-be-away-from-those-people/|
Posted by johnnyplankton | Mon Nov 26, 2012, 02:04 PM (16 replies)

Vermin Supreme Mounts 2016 Presidential Campaign

American's Favorite Vermin Announces 2016 Run in interview with Johnny Plankton:

"Whether extolling the virtues of a pony-based economy, promoting his plan to harness the awesome power of zombies to help America decrease its dependence on foreign oil, or following Jesus' orders to turn pro-life candidates gay by sprinkling them with glitter, Vermin Love Supreme is the only seemingly insane candidate that the Tea Party has failed to embrace."

[link:http://www.zug.com/live/90367/America39s-Favorite-Vermin-Announces-2016-Presidential-Run-to-ZUG.html|
Posted by johnnyplankton | Fri Nov 16, 2012, 07:21 PM (5 replies)

School Marm, My Ass...She Gonna Kick Some Wall Street Butt!

The righties (including Playgirl model Scotty Boy Brown) were calling her 'Professor' or 'School Marm' during the campaign in MA. We'll see who the tough one is...the one with the libarary books!
Posted by johnnyplankton | Thu Nov 8, 2012, 10:37 PM (1 replies)

Romney's Potential First Pup Breathes Huge Sigh of Relief

From the Fishington Cheesington Post:

(Sudbury, MA) At the Duggard Family Dog Kennel, a young Weimaraner puppy named Fritz breathed a huge fucking sigh of relief as Mitt Romney conceded defeat in his attempt to win election as President of the United States.

“I know I should have been honored that he was thinking of making me First Dog, but the thought of being strapped to the top of some Presidential limo - or God forbid Air Force One - had me pissing my dog bed.”


Read more (very funny photos, too!)

[link:http://www.fishandcheese.com/wordpress/2012/11/07/potential-first-pup-breathes-huge-fucking-sigh-of-relief/|
Posted by johnnyplankton | Wed Nov 7, 2012, 03:39 PM (0 replies)

Awesome Video! Scott Brown's Message for "the Ladies"! (commercial parody)

If this (very funny) video about Scott Brown went viral last week, NO woman (including his wife and daughters) would vote for him...

[link:http://www.fishandcheese.com/wordpress/2012/11/05/senator-scott-brown-dream-or-nightmare/|
Posted by johnnyplankton | Mon Nov 5, 2012, 10:30 PM (1 replies)

Romney Campaign Preparing to Launch “Doomsday Lie”

From the boys at the Fishingington Cheesington Post:

Insiders from the campaign of Republican nominee Mitt Romney are leaking a story that he is preparing to launch what theologians are calling “The Lie to End All Lies” to help swing the election in his favor. The campaign is calling it, ‘Operation Pinocchio’:

[link:http://www.fishandcheese.com/wordpress/2012/11/04/romney-preparing-to-launch-doomsday-lie-2/|
Posted by johnnyplankton | Sun Nov 4, 2012, 05:34 PM (4 replies)

Steroid Crazed Armstrong Looking Forward to Big Pharma Paycheck

"According to insiders, Armstrong is being courted by Merck to peddle “GoGo Juice” and Dow Chemical for their new growth hormone made from the testicles of polar bears – “Grrrr”. "

[link:http://www.fishandcheese.com/wordpress/2012/10/17/armstrong-leaves-charity-eyes-pharma-endorsements/|
Posted by johnnyplankton | Wed Oct 17, 2012, 10:42 PM (0 replies)

Obama Beats Romney with Tire Iron

Barry takes the bully's bike and kicks ass...

[link:[link:http://www.fishandcheese.com/wordpress/2012/10/17/obama-beats-romney-with-tire-iron/|Barry pushes the bully off his bike and kicks ass...|
Posted by johnnyplankton | Wed Oct 17, 2012, 12:27 AM (8 replies)
Go to Page: « Prev 1 2 3 Next »