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johnnyplankton

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Member since: Fri Aug 15, 2008, 09:32 PM
Number of posts: 184

Journal Archives

Irony Abounds As Trump Labels U.S. “Laughingstock”

From the boys at Fishington Cheesington Post:

AMES, Iowa – Donald Trump, a man who reportedly has had more people openly point and laugh at his hair than there are grains of sand on the combined beaches of Planet Earth, told NBC News on Sunday that, “We used to be the king and the queen all put together, and now we’re a laughingstock as a country.”

[link:http://www.fishandcheese.com/wordpress/2013/08/13/irony-abounds-as-trump-labels-u-s-laughingstock/|
Posted by johnnyplankton | Tue Aug 13, 2013, 01:10 PM (2 replies)

Boston Priest Caught With Adult Hooker, Vatican Secretly Rejoices

August 6, Boston, MA – Vatican officials reportedly breathed a sigh of relief today when it was learned that Rev. Monsignor Arthur M. Coyle was arrested for paying an ADULT prostitute for sex in a car behind a cemetery. “My God, I am so damned happy,” said a Vatican official who requested anonymity. “When you hear ‘priest’ and ‘sex’ and ‘scandal’ in the same sentence, you can’t help but go there. When I heard it was an adult, I felt tears of joy.”

While police officials would not reveal the sex of the prostitute, “Frankly we were just happy that the Monsignor was with someone who had pubic hair,” said the official.

[link:http://www.fishandcheese.com/wordpress/2013/08/06/boston-priest-caught-with-adult-hooker-vatican-secretly-rejoices/|
Posted by johnnyplankton | Tue Aug 6, 2013, 01:06 AM (6 replies)

CNN’s Wolf Blitzer Reportedly Distraught That Interview With Bomber’s Cat Will Not Air

New York, NY – While publicly expressing joy over the capture of Dzhokar Tsarnaev, the remaining suspect in the Boston Marathon bombing, journalism legend Wolf Blitzer is said to be “deeply disappointed” that what his interview with the suspect’s cat Fluffy will not air following the apparent closure to the case.

[link:http://www.fishandcheese.com/wordpress/2013/04/19/cnns-wolf-blitzer-reportedly-distraught-that-interview-with-bombers-cat-no-longer-relevant/|
Posted by johnnyplankton | Fri Apr 19, 2013, 10:57 PM (8 replies)

Homicidal Maniacs Rejoice As Senate Bends Over for NRA

From the Fishington Cheesington Post

Washington, DC - The criminally insane, End Times religious fanatics and libertarians everywhere breathed a collective sigh of relief yesterday as the Senate honored the wishes of pretty much no one and shot down a proposed law that would require background checks for lots of people who probably shouldn’t be given plastic knives at McDonald’s.


More at link:

[link:http://www.fishandcheese.com/wordpress/2013/04/18/homicidal-maniacs-terrorists-rejoice-as-senate-bends-over-for-nra/|
Posted by johnnyplankton | Thu Apr 18, 2013, 03:53 PM (4 replies)

Despite Salient Filibuster Point, Rand Paul Still Completely Berserk

From the Guys at Fishington Cheesington Post:

In a rare display of sanity bordering on moral courage, Kentucky Senator and Tea Party loon Rand Paul began a talking filibuster that actually made sense – questioning whether it was OK for the U.S. government to kill Americans via drone attack – before veering off into his trademark incoherent paranoid gibberish.


[link:http://www.fishandcheese.com/wordpress/2013/03/07/despite-salient-filibuster-point-rand-paul-still-completely-berserk/|
Posted by johnnyplankton | Thu Mar 7, 2013, 11:18 PM (0 replies)

Some Republicans Finally Agree That Punching Women In Face Not Such A Good Idea, Pass Bill

A little satire from the Fishington Cheesington Post

[link:http://www.fishandcheese.com/wordpress/2013/02/28/some-republicans-finally-agree-punching-women-in-face-not-such-a-hot-idea/|
Posted by johnnyplankton | Thu Feb 28, 2013, 11:51 PM (1 replies)

Rubio SOTU Rebuttal Reveals Boehner Not Only GOP Leader with Drinking Problem

Some of my AA's pals liked this:

In his rebuttal to President Obama’s State of the Union speech on Tuesday, rising GOP star Marco Rubio was hoping to show America that he was the new face of the Republican party – and possible competition for the corpulent Chris Christie in the 2016 presidential race. Instead, his handlers are preparing to ship him to the Betty Ford Image Rehabilitation Center for his “drinking problem”.

[link:http://www.fishandcheese.com/wordpress/2013/02/14/rubio-sotu-rebuttal-reveals-boehner-not-only-gop-leader-with-drinking-problem/ |
Posted by johnnyplankton | Thu Feb 14, 2013, 10:07 PM (1 replies)

Rubio SOTU Rebuttal Reveals Boehner Not Only GOP Leader with Drinking Problem

From the boys at the Fishington Cheesington Post:

In his rebuttal to President Obama’s State of the Union speech on Tuesday, rising GOP star Marco Rubio was hoping to show America that he was the new face of the Republican party – and possible competition for the corpulent Chris Christie in the 2016 presidential race. Instead, his handlers are preparing to ship him to the Betty Ford Image Rehabilitation Center for his “drinking problem”.


[link:http://www.fishandcheese.com/wordpress/2013/02/14/rubio-sotu-rebuttal-reveals-boehner-not-only-gop-leader-with-drinking-problem/|
Posted by johnnyplankton | Thu Feb 14, 2013, 09:34 AM (0 replies)

Fox News Ships Palin to the "Glue Factory" (News Satire)

Underscoring the GOP's attitudes towards women, Faux News has fired Sarah Palin because she's "aged out"

A quick excerpt:

“Christ, it’s not like we hired her for her brains or incisive political insight,” said a Fox executive who requested anonymity. “She just had that Sexy Librarian persona going, and half our ads are for Cialis anyway, so we thought it was a good fit. The old white guys who watch our network used to dig her – at least until that whole MILFy thing went south.”



[link:http://www.fishandcheese.com/wordpress/2013/01/26/fox-news-ships-palin-to-glue-factory/|
Posted by johnnyplankton | Sun Jan 27, 2013, 03:13 PM (2 replies)

Boehner Planning To Go On “Epic Bender” Say Aides

Boehner Planning To Go On “Epic Bender” Say Aides

Washington, DC, January 2nd, 2012 -
Following a humiliating year which has his role as Speaker of the House in jepoardy, John Boehner is “looking forward to really tying on the feed bag to blot out all memories of the past year” according to aides.

[link:http://www.fishandcheese.com/wordpress/|
Posted by johnnyplankton | Wed Jan 2, 2013, 01:55 PM (6 replies)
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