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Waiting For Everyman

Profile Information

Name: Ann
Gender: Female
Hometown: Towson, Maryland
Home country: USA
Current location: near Washington, D.C.
Member since: Mon Jun 23, 2008, 12:17 PM
Number of posts: 7,517

About Me

My namesake... http://youtu.be/GgXzWhexJh0

Journal Archives

Link to Top 100 songs each year from 1950 to 2011

For those who are into oldies:

http://www.musicoutfitters.com/top-100-songs.htm

Posted by Waiting For Everyman | Fri May 25, 2012, 04:11 AM (0 replies)

Hello, I'm Ann from Maryland, hon. (it's how women talk here, traditionlly)

(Think John Waters and Hairspray, that's here.)

I'm 62, and a widow for 4+ years. I grew up in Towson, a suburb on the north side of Baltimore, my parents were both school teachers. (I was the stereotypical over-achiever including sports, except that I was more interested in fashion and dancing at teen centers in high school in the 60s.) I've lived most of my life in Maryland because I love it, except for 5 years or so in my younger days, spent in California and running around the country at will. I had a great time (I love long distance driving, I've done coast to coast many a time). I've driven to and through every state in the US, plus Mexico and Canada. Off the mainland, I've been to and loved Bermuda, but only once made it to Europe to visit my late husband's family who live in Paris (and 2 days in London, not nearly enough). That's probably all the traveling I will ever get to do now, but that's ok because I like where I am.

I was married twice and I have three kids in their 30's (no grandkids they're single). Yikes! Time flies when you're not paying attention. Well I may look older but I don't feel any different.

My late (2nd) husband was a 100% disabled Viet Nam combat vet (worst-case PTSD and Agent Orange poisoning which slowly destroyed his spine and internal organs; 2 doz.+ operations; extreme diabetic and paralyzed the last few years; died a few days before Christmas 2007, at age 59). He was quite an extraordinary man in every way. We married in our early 30s, and a year later he was hit suddenly with all of these physical and psych issues, and never recovered. We were together 25 years. Most of that time I was his 24/7/365 caregiver.

Prior to that I had been a real estate agent and a small business creator, two of them were very successful. (One was in consumer electronics in the mid 70s to mid 80s. The other was a very high-end auto shop and promotional race team with my 2nd husband -- he was a master mechanic among other things. He LOVED Datsun 280 ZXs, even though he worked on the super expensive cars, Zs were his favorite, and mine too I have to say.)

So I've been both way up and way down in my life, several times. I know what it's like on the whole spectrum, and going both directions. My life has been very weird. People started telling me in my 20s that I should write a book, and by now it would have to be a shelf of them. The funny thing is, that to an outsider who doesn't know me, my life would seem to have been very dull and like nothing much happened. It's like the old saying about books and covers. I know one thing -- I could never think up the stuff that has happened in my life, I'm not nearly imaginative enough for that. Truth has been way weirder than fiction.

So now, here I am: 62 and starting all over again alone, another chapter if I have one in me.

Below are old pics of me (being unrecognizable now is why I don't mind them on the net) and one of my husband Dave back in the day at Charles Town racetrack. He's the crew chief standing in the poncho, speaking to his driver (who won that day, beating -- wait for it -- Paul Newman).


1972 Southern California, polaroid. The odd effect was in the pic when it was taken.



1975 Ocean City beach, Maryland.



1983 Summit Point track in Charles Town. West Virginia.




But back to DU... I joined during the primaries of the 2008 election, just after Dave's passing. For the first year or so I posted a LOT, and then it became more intermittent, as life-issues have been pretty intense the last couple of years. I'm glad that this Welcome Forum was started because I never got much of a chance to really "meet" anybody when I first joined. I just jumped into the election effort and didn't even think about the Lounge or Groups. Gradually I became a little bit familiar with some of the usernames here and there. Lately through H&M I'm getting to know more about who some people are. This forum will certainly help with that.

About my username: well if you listen to the song below, that's what I feel like I'm doing at DU -- waiting for Everyman (the 99%) to figure it out and join us here, and wherever we're sticking up for each other to bring about a better quality of life.


2003 solo acoustic version




1972 album version





So welcome, newbies!
And "hey!" DUers Glad you stopped by, and I hope to see you around for a long time.


Psst... a bonus pic... this is me and my "steady" in HS who I was supposed to marry and probably would have, if not for the first unreal happening in my life. (32 years after we broke up, we found out that neither one of us broke up with the other... it was some sort of hoax, and our two breakup stories don't even match.) I guess some things just aren't meant to be. I've still been lucky though, all the loves in my life have been stand outs. (Even the ex, at the bottom of the list.)


April 1967, days before we "broke up" after 4 years together.
We were 17.



Posted by Waiting For Everyman | Wed May 23, 2012, 03:38 PM (26 replies)

Re both language and DU: We have to destroy this village to save it.


(Paraphrase of a quote reported by Peter Arnett about the destruction of Ben Tre village... my metaphor for the Word Wars being conducted on DU.)


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peter_Arnett




One pill makes you larger
And one pill makes you small,
And the ones that mother gives you
Don't do anything at all.
Go ask Alice
When she's ten feet tall

And if you go chasing rabbits
And you know you're going to fall,
Tell 'em a hookah-smoking caterpillar
Has given you the call
Call Alice
When she was just small

When the men on the chessboard
Get up and tell you where to go
And you've just had some kind of mushroom
And your mind is moving low
Go ask Alice
I think she'll know
When logic and proportion
Have fallen sloppy dead
And the White Knight is talking backwards
And the Red Queen's "off with her head!"
Remember what the Dormouse said:
"Feed your head... feed your head... feed your head"


Some quotes by Lewis Carroll:

"Alice thought to herself, 'Then there's no use in speaking.' The voices didn't join in this time, as she hadn't spoken, but to her great surprise, they all thought in chorus (I hope you understand what thinking in chorus means -- for I must confess that I don't), 'Better say nothing at all. Language is worth a thousand pounds a word!"

"If you limit your actions in life to things that nobody can possibly find fault with, you will not do much!"

"If everybody minded their own business, the world would go around a great deal faster than it does."

"Tweedle Dum and Tweedle Dee agreed to have a battle; for Tweedle Dum said Tweedle Dee had spoiled his nice new rattle."

" 'When I use a word,' Humpty Dumpty said in rather a scornful tone, 'it means just what I choose it to mean -- neither more nor less.' 'The question is,' said Alice, 'whether you can make words mean so many different things.' 'The question is,' said Humpty Dumpty, 'which is to be master -- that's all.' "

"Take care of the sense and the sounds will take of care themselves."

"How cheerfully he seems to grin,
How neatly spreads his claws..."


I am a woman, one who is not at all represented by the most prodigious crusaders against the recent examples of so-called "misogyny". So I'm "through the looking glass" by definition on these discussions at DU. As such for the last week or so, it has seemed to me, as Alice said above, "Better to say nothing at all". I have though, read all of the threads.

As a bystander on the sidelines, these are my observations:

The sheer nastiness of the very few conducting the bulk of the Word Wars is 10 times worse than what they're complaining about. The reason I say that is this...

I did a little experiment a few days ago just out of curiosity. And this was before any mention of 3 anybodies. I don't, and never have, put anyone on ignore. But I noticed, myself, before it was brought up (that I was aware of anyway) that just a few people were monopolizing the most contentious high post-count threads. My number was 4 people btw (including someone who is almost in the same league as to over-posting in threads but not quite, yet).

I wanted to see what one of those awful threads would look like if those 4 were put on ignore. It was interesting. The giant mega-thread suddenly became normal length that way - about 50 posts. That tells me something. And it isn't just one thread, I looked at three more of the same kind while I was at it. Same result. Anyone can try the same experiment, and see for themselves. Repeatable results are not an opinion, but a fact.

The huge number of their posts, and the constant attacks in them, is overwhelming.

The fact is, these few people ARE creating the problem. Those who are saying so are RIGHT, about this. Is there any reason why so few people should be allowed to run amuck like this over everyone else, all the while complaining about OTHERS' behavior! O. M. G. If ever there was anyone with no room to talk about rudeness and insensitivity, it is these few.

Worst of all though, is what is slowly happening to meaning and our ability to even find words to communicate with each other, words which will not set off another "shitstorm" and derail any discussion we try to have about anything. I'm hoping that some of those who are talented in the use of language who have commented on this in various posts, will repeat those thoughts and any others they may have, in this thread too. I think this is the most serious problem of all -- the corruption of language and meaning via enforced redefinition by even well-meaning ideology. The end does not justify the means, and it is not worth it.

When someone "messes with" rationality, which is what the twisting of meaning and logic that we see in these threads is, I don't take that kindly. We see the attacks on rationality clearly enough when it comes from the Right, but do we recognize it when it comes from the Left? It's the same animal, wearing a different outfit -- and for the same purpose... getting us to lay down our own thought and judgement in the service of someone else's agenda. To me, an attack on rationality itself is as serious as any can be, short of violence... much more serious than some passing offense taken. (I learned long ago not to fall for that, which is why I recognize it. Similarly, those here standing against it are least vulnerable to it; those joining in with it on the other hand, have a problem -- one which they are making themselves blind to.)

I'm not advocating that anything in particular be done, and if nothing is done and it goes on this way indefinitely that's fine with me - "no skin off my back" as they say. But there's no doubt about this: the problem will continue as long as this behavior by these few continues, it's that simple. The obvious question is, is it likely that the few will stop on their own? It doesn't seem so, unless possibly some peer encouragement could help.

The one thing I never hear about and can't quite figure out... where does truth figure in? How does truth get through the gauntlet -- that string of prohibited adjectives in the CS? That's where the answer that's provided seems to be "you take your chances". That isn't really good enough. I know how to say what someone wants to hear and/or stay out of trouble, and I know how to say the truth, but I don't know how to do both at the same time. And if I can't talk about what's true, then it's not worth getting into.

If I could speak freely, I could be clearer. But this is the best I can do under the circumstances. Btw I believe in being as gentle as possible with people, but that can't be the only consideration. Content has to matter, truth has to matter - or why do it?

WFE
Posted by Waiting For Everyman | Sun May 20, 2012, 09:19 AM (163 replies)

DU's tolerance is almost non-existent.

Anyone can be tolerant toward oneself, or those one likes. That isn't tolerance, it's preference. Just slap the "bigot label" (rightly OR most often wrongly) on anyone, and they can be attacked at will. Even Pres. Obama has been called a bigot here, which shows that almost anyone is fair game. Point out the obvious though, that there's essentially no difference between one rationalized-hate and the other, and the sky will fall.

On the bus pic though: it's effective but also promotes a fallacy, in that only one religion is associated with flying planes into buildings. (And one has to wonder what kind of crap science promotes knowingly false statements?) Secondly, there's plenty of faith in science. The two are flip sides of the same coin. As long as anything is unknown there will be faith in science. Zealots of any flavor have the most in common with each other.
Posted by Waiting For Everyman | Thu May 10, 2012, 12:00 PM (2 replies)

To those of us who are missing anyone today...

and to those who are gone from us, whether temporarily or permanently. I think this is really beautiful while at the same time, not too "mushy", and rarest of all... cheerful and upbeat.




Posted by Waiting For Everyman | Tue May 8, 2012, 11:43 AM (0 replies)

.

That was so... civil-like.

28,872 posts since July 6, 2003

So (according to some) all that matters is who owns the site -- not the posters who make the content (for free I might add, and pay to be here). Well, the downward spiral is underway. I've seen that exact same sentiment expressed and this same progression of attitudes before on other message boards, and I know how it goes from here. So before we get there, this is for all of us (past and present) as well as the OP... we will all eventually scatter to the four winds one way or another, but that does not mean we are valueless like disposable paper cups that are tossed aside...


"Here where the angels have appeared and are gone
Your face like an ember glows in the dawn

But I want you to remember --
All wild deeds live on... "






(And ps... to misconstrue the lines above as in any way negative, is to have no clue what they mean in which case there is no need to know now. Thanks.)
Posted by Waiting For Everyman | Sat May 5, 2012, 11:46 AM (1 replies)

If how H&M looks to outsiders is a concern...

what about making it a "private forum" which is only visible when logged in as a member? Lots of message boards have forums like that.

Wouldn't that also make posts here less likely to turn up in outside search engines?

Posted by Waiting For Everyman | Thu May 3, 2012, 12:06 PM (14 replies)

"Taking offense" at anything is something I don't care about and don't do.

What anyone says or thinks about me has no effect on my value as a person whatsoever. It doesn't diminish me, or elevate me. The opinion of me that matters is mine, and no one can change that but me. If someone looks down on me then that tells me they have very bad taste and are clueless, and clueless people with bad taste bore me to distraction, so it all works out fine. I have zero interest in critiquing people, and I don't think very highly of those who do. It tells me a lot about a person.

What matters to me is getting to what people are trying to say, not how they say it. People can be lousy at the "how" and be great at the "what". Or vice versa. The "what" is the gift, the "how" is the wrapping. I'll take a diamond in a paper bag over a pile of shit in an beautiful box any day.

What passes for values today is such a joke. Sad, really. But there is poetic justice - people who insist on garbage thinking have that to live with then. They may make other people who listen to it miserable but they are miserable too, so how smart is that? I detour far around dopes who can't figure that much out, so their words and opinions? Left in the dust at a distance.
Posted by Waiting For Everyman | Thu May 3, 2012, 11:14 AM (0 replies)
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