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Waiting For Everyman

Profile Information

Name: Ann
Gender: Female
Hometown: Towson, Maryland
Home country: USA
Current location: near Washington, D.C.
Member since: Mon Jun 23, 2008, 12:17 PM
Number of posts: 7,536

About Me

My namesake... http://youtu.be/GgXzWhexJh0

Journal Archives

Where does somebody get the idea that they can

just damage somebody else's life because they feel like it? or bring misery to someone's life just because they can get away with it? What kind of mind thinks like that? It's really prevalent today. I see it all as a continuum of bullying... from extreme horrific incidents like this, all the way down to just psychological petty battering at a place like DU. (I don't want to get off on a tangent, but that is why I am very opposed to some things I see on here, and even by feminists, which disgusts me, because it is all a continuum of the same thing, the same bullying attitude.) There was a story this week about a woman torturing and killing a 4 year old little boy, the son of her boyfriend, so it's spread to the whole population now, even though it's vastly more often men or boys -- I see that changing. I see the same kind of thing, big and small, in all kinds of people all around me all the time.

It's a very ugly sort of entitlement to inflict harm, which is alarming. It's almost as if what it is to be human is corroding away in many people. Many seem to be nearly amoral by now. There is no concern for consequences that has anything to do with what is right, or decent behavior. All that's left is concern for consequences to themselves, whatever they can get away with, they have no qualms about doing.

I agree with everything you posted, including that yes, I too have a big problem with entertainers such as Miley Cyrus, and all the people who make people like her popular. There is no point in railing against what happens to women and then feeding it at the same time... which is what I see some people doing by refusing to come down on that garbage. That "style" of whatever it is should've had its moment, and ended, years ago. I can't believe how long it has gone on, and on. basically since the late 80's now. I'm sick and tired of it, and am amazed that something else hasn't come along to take its place. But maybe that's by design and someone's intention, don't know.

I'm so sorry, roguevalley. For you, and these victims you know. Please tell them that we are thinking of them, and hope for their recovery and comforting.

I don't mean this in a light way, but as a dedication and tribute to the young woman who was hurt, and to you RV, and to all of us who care...



For anybody out there who is in a situation that makes them afraid, I just want to say... it's better by far to live alone than to live with abuse. Up until the day before this happened, this woman had a chance to get out. Clearly she was already too afraid to go, she had been battered down that far. No, they don't love you, they are liars. They think it's cool to get away with doing people harm. No, it won't get better, ever, it will get worse, it always does. No, your abuser isn't different, not a bit different. Don't tolerate it, you deserve to be treated well. Everybody does.

I've been there too and got out, so can you. The first step is believing you can. And the first step to that is gathering information, to show you how you can. Once you can see how it can be done, then you find the will. You can do it, others have, so can you.

Don't worry about the abuser's feelings either, they don't have any that are similar to yours. The only loss they feel is losing the game they like to play. Just go. And don't look back. A couple of thoughts that helped, to pass along...



Posted by Waiting For Everyman | Wed Jan 15, 2014, 05:46 AM (0 replies)

"If the muzzle fits." is that your cutesy way of calling polly7 a dog?

Jury results are in. Oh yes, I alerted. And I will every time I see this kind of thing. I'm disgusted that anybody can call themselves a feminist and address any woman on DU like this. At least it was close this time, 3-3, thanks jurors. "Feminists" doing this, just wow! What a nerve some people have. And they wonder why they have no credibility. Gee, I can't imagine why.


On Mon Jan 13, 2014, 10:50 PM you sent an alert on the following post:

You know what they say...
http://www.democraticunderground.com/?com=view_post&forum=1002&pid=4325366

REASON FOR ALERT

This post is disruptive, hurtful, rude, insensitive, over-the-top, or otherwise inappropriate.

YOUR COMMENTS

A backhanded way of calling polly7 a dog.

JURY RESULTS

A randomly-selected Jury of DU members completed their review of this alert at Mon Jan 13, 2014, 11:02 PM, and voted 3-3 to LEAVE IT ALONE.

Juror #1 voted to LEAVE IT ALONE
Explanation: Polly7 used the 'dog' metaphor first in this thread; PassingFair was replying to that. I think the whole thread is quite bizarre, but I don't this one post can be singled out.
Juror #2 voted to LEAVE IT ALONE
Explanation: In the context of this thread, I'd say leave it. There are lots of insults and innuendos. If you don't want to continue to engage in the endless argument, then stay out of the thread. Not enough for me to hide it.
Juror #3 voted to HIDE IT
Explanation: I agree with the alert.
Juror #4 voted to HIDE IT
Explanation: This post IS rude, hurtful...
Juror #5 voted to LEAVE IT ALONE
Explanation: No explanation given
Juror #6 voted to HIDE IT
Explanation: Not even funny, even if they are friends. Also, too fucking close to the word "Bitch". Hide.

Thank you.
Posted by Waiting For Everyman | Mon Jan 13, 2014, 05:46 PM (1 replies)

The problem with flipping discrimination around into white privilege

(or any other sort of privilege, the point is the same), is that it goes from an actual action (discrimination) to a passive state of being (privilege), which in fact is condemning or blaming people for acts they didn't do but other people of their race did... which is racism again... definition:" n. Discrimination or prejudice based on race. "

That unchangeable fact of being white becomes the focus of the issue instead of actually changing acts of discrimination where it is found to exist. Hence, actual change for the better is sidelined. Instead, people focus on purifying other peoples' attitudes which is a pointless waste of time, and can be dangerous (the example of the religious right for instance).

The bottom line of it is that instead of judging people as individuals, with concepts of privilege we are back to judging people as a race (or gender etc.), which is a step backwards. And that stepping backwards is why many resist it.

The OP asked a question, seemingly to point out that there is no answer, and I answered it, mostly to make the point that there is an answer. It goes to the old saying, if you don't want to hear the answer, don't ask the question.

I am white, but I am also a woman, so I can understand both sides of the issue of privilege. And I can sum up my viewpoint the most succinctly by saying this: anybody who wants to replace the supposed privilege of one group by setting up a similarly abusive privilege by another group can fuck right off. I am not the tiniest bit interested in that. I am interested in equality as humans and equal treatment under the law for all. Regardless. (Sort of along the lines of this general idea...)



As to societal attitudes, I'm not into telling anybody what they ought to think. I believe that attitudes tend to correct themselves over time when there is equal treatment under the law, as much as they are going to be corrected in a given person that is.

But whatever people here want to do about their political causes is up to them. As of course mine are up to me, and the same for all of us. We prioritize what we feel is the best way to go.
Posted by Waiting For Everyman | Sat Jan 11, 2014, 05:33 AM (1 replies)

Good post!

The paradigm of the power structure has shifted since the '70s, but some people who are into "-isms" and "-ists" haven't noticed yet. They'll catch on eventually, some number of years behind the curve, after everyone else has already arrived at a larger and more current consensus.

People who fancy themselves spokespersons for "-isms" and "-ists" develop their hobby horses for the purpose of getting something out of riding them. They don't want to give that up, even if it becomes obsolete, the personal payoff is more important than the issue itself.

This, below, is what political power is...



The age of that song is testament to the fact that we were on the right track that many years ago, but we slipped off of it and have been wrangling each other in the ditch on the sidelines ever since. When people give up their divisions, and unite in addressing what the hub of the problem actually IS, then some progress will be made. Not until then though, any progress at all is the price that our petty attitudes and willful blindness costs us.


(Case in point example: look at any video or photos of the August 28, 1963 march on Washington, and see how many signs and placards there are about "white privilege" or white anything, and see whether blacks and whites are largely interspersed or rigidly separated in the crowd. There is something we should be noticing about that, something we used to know that we have forgotten.)



http://jwa.org/media/photograph-of-march-on-washington-featuring-we-march-for-signs-and-civil-rights-movement-leade
Posted by Waiting For Everyman | Fri Jan 10, 2014, 02:19 PM (1 replies)

Oh, no.



I liked MFM too, and will miss seeing him here. For you, (((MFM))).




"In the Embers" by Sleeping At Last

We live and we die like fireworks
Our legacies hide in the embers
May our stories catch fire and burn
Bright enough to catch God's eye
We live and we die like fireworks

We pull apart the dark
Compete against the stars with all of our hearts
'Til our temporary brilliance turns to ash
We pull apart the darkness while we can

May we live and die a valorous life
May we write it all down in cursive light
So we pray we were made in the image of a figure-eight
May we live and die like fireworks

We pull apart the dark
Compete against the stars with all of our hearts
'Til our temporary brilliance turns to ash
We pull apart the darkness while we can

Like fireworks we pull apart the dark
Compete against the stars with all of our hearts
'Til our temporary brilliance turns to ash
We pull apart the darkness while we can
Posted by Waiting For Everyman | Fri Jan 10, 2014, 10:16 AM (0 replies)

1983 Nissan 280ZX 2+2 Turbo

Mine was a white T-top with red leather and suede interior, limited edition much like the one below except it was longer in the back, having the back seat. I bought it new, and kept it until 2 years ago, putting over 200K miles on it. Loved that car, so much fun to drive. The two-seater was surprisingly practical too -- I moved a set of floor to ceiling bookshelves in it once.



I don't like the new rounded body styles though, I like the ones that look like baby Jags. The 83/84 was the last year for that body style.



My (late) husband used to rebuild/restore Z's, and so he owned/crewchiefed a showroom stock race team for promotion purposes. His car beat Paul Newman at Charles Town in 1983 (as second, Newman was third, and I forget who won). It was a rainy mess, everybody was muddy.

Posted by Waiting For Everyman | Tue Dec 31, 2013, 09:28 AM (1 replies)

Before this thread wears out, I'd like to add a point.

"Tone" is a word used by the vocal feminist minority on DU. They like to frame the problem they're causing here in terms of tone in order to confuse it with "the tone argument", which is the term for a tactic used against women in real life but not applicable here.

Here we have rules and standards that define what kind of language we can use, and not use. Women don't have to talk nicer to anyone here to get promoted, for example, as it would be in the real world, or to voice their opinions. We all can do what anyone can do here regardless of gender, and tone won't do much to determine that, the rules do. Nicer tone might make someone more likable, but that's about it. So this is not a matter of "the tone argument" as it's used in feminist terms.

Tone really isn't the issue, per se, that most of us are complaining about. We are talking about abusive behavior, which is quite different. I don't need to spell out here what that is because all of us complaining about it know of course, and the vocal minority feminists know good and well because each of the many of us with complaints have told them in detail dozens of times. You could read this thread and see lots of examples right here, or any other thread on this subject, and even some other subjects too. They make it clear that they have no intention of stopping. We merely have to take it, they think.

What's ironic is, that in a very small metaphorical way (and I don't mean in any way to diminish rape by referring to it this way, but to illustrate a relevant point to make it understood better), what they are doing has similarities to rape, which they profess to advocate against. The bad behavior we're talking about, although very much different of course, also is forced on us after repeated and insistent objections are raised, and ruthlessly ignored.

So this is not about "nice words". This is about chronic, long term abusive behavior. And it's done in public because we all (who read this board) have to watch, and be party and victim to it.

Is that a problem? I think so. Does it have to happen? Nope. It's a choice, that a small number of people here make, and decide to do. That's all I have to say. Just want to make clear that tone is not what we're talking about. I went along with the thread "as is" because you included the word "approach" in the title which I took to cover it at first. But late it the thread the victimizers started pressing hard on reinforcing the nice/tone understanding of it, and that is NOT what this is.

The vocal minority feminists very much want to conflate our complaints about their abusive tactics with the tone argument, because then they can dismiss those complaints and persuade others to dismiss them too. They know full well that is what they are doing in trying so hard to confuse the issue. It's just another underhanded tactic in the long parade of them that we've seen.

As several posters said in the thread, the point of this effort on their part is to persuade the DU community to give them a "free pass" on their behavior when it's alerted to juries. They think that DU's standards don't apply to them. Most people don't seem to agree with that so far, fortunately, although some are understandably confused into it. The problem may take care of itself to some degree and become moot after the changes to DU's rules kick in, in a few days. I hope so, but it is still worthwhile understanding the psychological play that's being tried in our midst. Our awareness of it is the key thing that will keep it in check.
Posted by Waiting For Everyman | Mon Dec 30, 2013, 08:18 AM (4 replies)

Wow, thank you!

Joke is right! That link is very interesting, to say the least.

Hmm.

(An extra thanks, for several cool things I've seen you do lately. I miss a lot, but I catch on to a little bit, now and then.)
Posted by Waiting For Everyman | Mon Dec 30, 2013, 03:46 AM (0 replies)

Because we have Community Standards on DU.

People participating here get treated by those standards, and pulling the "tone card" is not a free pass to be abusive to other DUers. Simple.

The tactic of a small group demanding the utmost respect for themselves, yet having no intention of showing any at all to those they disagree with, has gone far enough. It's not me who's saying so, it's lots of people -- especially women who disagree with the small vocal minority of feminists.

It's this kind of attitude that we're tired of:

http://www.democraticunderground.com/125530296#post12

http://www.democraticunderground.com/10024242515#post114

http://www.democraticunderground.com/10024242515#post122

http://www.democraticunderground.com/10024242515#post138

We are not ok with being subjected to abuse right here ourselves, just because the vocal minority abusing us claims to be against abuse. Not gonna fly. If they gave a rat's butt about women, they wouldn't be abusing women right here. This isn't the outside world, where the tone argument is applicable, this is a message board, where basic behavior is required no matter how many minority issues a person has in real life.
Posted by Waiting For Everyman | Sun Dec 29, 2013, 02:25 AM (5 replies)

Dayum!

Just read the thread for the first time, all the way through. This is a classic. Not to mention the offshoots spun off. Awardable art work too.

Have a donut, all.
Posted by Waiting For Everyman | Sat Dec 28, 2013, 08:58 AM (0 replies)
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