You Do, Of Course, Realize That This Is Going To End Very, Very Badly
By Alana ‘Honey Boo Boo’ Thompson
September 28, 2012

Like millions of viewers around the nation, I was thrilled this week when TLC renewed my television show, Here Comes Honey Boo Boo, for a second fun-filled season. It fills my heart with joy to know that our raucous Southern lifestyle in rural Georgia entertained so many families and started a "redneck fever.” Heck, more people watched ‘Honey Boo Boo’ than the Republican National Convention. That’s really something!

So as me, Mama, Glitzy and eleven-fingered baby Kaitlyn gear up for the next chapter of Piggly Wiggly and pageantry, I want to take a moment to thank all of our fans out there and to remind them that this charade is, of course, going to end very, very badly.

You know that, right? That my whole life is, sooner or later, going to wind up being a complete and utter train wreck of delusion and misery? Just want everybody to be clear on that.

Again, I’m glad people are enjoying the show. It is definitely good that people enjoy gathering around the television and laughing at my chubby cheeks, and my tacky family, and all of our hysterical antics. Just so long, of course, as people are aware that there is no possible scenario in which I will grow up to be a functional human being who is healthy and psychologically well-adjusted. Or successful. Or anything but a sick punchline, or worse. Because viewers should already know that. I mean, I’m a 7-year-old girl who regularly consumes a combination of Red Bull and Mountain Dew, for God’s sake. And who loves constantly mugging in front of a camera at an age when a human being generally shouldn’t be doing that kind of thing.

Much, much more: http://www.theonion.com/articles/you-do-of-course-realize-that-this-is-going-to-end,29734/?ref=auto

Heavily Armed Karl Rove Spotted At Top Of Electoral College Clock Tower
November 8, 2012

WASHINGTON—Sources confirmed this afternoon that a heavily armed Karl Rove has positioned himself atop the Electoral College clock tower and is planning to pick off at least 50 electors with a high-precision sniper rifle.

Wearing a black tactical ammunition vest with multiple submachine-gun magazine pouches, a holster containing an extra semiautomatic handgun, and several M67 grenades clipped to the chest, Rove reportedly walked up 27 floors to the top of the clock tower, which overlooks the Electoral College’s main quad area and offers the Republican strategist a perfect vantage point to assassinate electors as they exit the Swing State Dining Hall and the Twelfth Amendment Science Building.

Law enforcement officials said Rove appears to be primarily targeting Electoral College attendees from Ohio and Florida.

“Mr. Rove is armed, extremely dangerous, and, we believe, mentally ill,” said lead FBI agent Peter Coburn, adding that his team is working with Electoral College Campus Security to move the institution’s 538 enrolled electors out of harm’s way. “Several witnesses who saw Mr. Rove begin his ascent to the top of the clock tower said he looked stone-faced and was muttering something about making good on his promises to Republican super PAC donors everywhere and to Jesus Christ almighty.”
http://www.theonion.com/articles/heavily-armed-karl-rove-spotted-at-top-of-electora,30309/

Dear President Obama,
Congratulations on your re-election. While thinking about all the great things you can do over the next four years, I realized that you will be in office on the 150 anniversary of the Emancipation Proclamation.

This is an important point in history for our country. As the descendant of slave owners, I am ecstatic that our country has tried to move past that evil past. I also think that you, as our first African American President should celebrate the freedom granted to the slaves.

Apparently some in our country forget that these battles have been fought and that the United States of America survived as one country without slavery and with unity. We need reminders that we should not repeat the past errors and that we should move forward.

Please make January 1, 2013 a day to celebrate freedom for us all - from slavery, from past sins, from hatred, from divisiveness. If it is too late to make that date that major celebration it should be, then celebrate the passage of the Thirteenth Amendment on December 6, 2015.

November 12, 2012 10:00 AM
Updated: Petraeus, Rove, and Paula Broadwell: I Smell A Rat
<SNIP>
We have these unrelated things. Let's put them in a timeline.

June 11, 2012 - Broadwell pictured with Rove, who tweets about it in June.
June-July, 2012 - Affair ends, according to Chicago Tribune report (Added)
June-August, 2012 - FBI receives complaint about "harassing emails" sent by Broadwell to Jill Kelley
September 11, 2012 - Benghazi consulate attacked, killing Ambassador Stevens and 3 others
September 12, 2012 - Romney campaign issues immediate statement slamming Obama administration for inadequate response to "terrorist attack"
October 26, 2012 - Fox News "Exclusive" claims CIA requested and was refused reinforcements.
October 26, 2012 - Broadwell pimps the Fox News version of events at a University of Denver symposium
October 28, 2012 - Rove hammers and expands on it in an interview on Fox News
Approximately October 28-31, 2012 - FBI confronts Petraeus and interviews him about emails, determines no breaches of national security have taken place.
Added: Approximately October 28-31, 2012 - Romney "allies" offer a "source" to Bob Woodward regarding Benghazi attacks
October 31, 2012 - Cantor Chief of Staff contacted by Rep. Dave Reichert about FBI 'whistleblower'. Cantor says he contacted the FBI immediately.
November 6, 2012 - Barack Obama wins re-election
November 6, 2012 - James Clapper (Director of National Intelligence) informed of FBI investigation
November 8, 2012 - Petraeus submits resignation
November 9, 2012 - Resignation accepted

MUCH, much more with links to many sources: http://crooksandliars.com/karoli/petraeus-rove-and-paula-broadwell-i-smell-r

Threat to quadruple taxes on products containing palm oil, one of Nutella's key ingredients, angers producers in Malaysia

Kim Willsher in Paris
guardian.co.uk, Monday 12 November 2012 10.55 EST

It is the sweet and sickly staple of many a French schoolchild's breakfast: la tartine de Nutella, a dollop of chocolate and hazelnut spread on a slice of baguette.

An estimated 235,000 tonnes of the paste – reportedly invented in the back room of an Italian pastry shop in 1944 – are consumed every year, around 100m pots in France alone.

Little wonder, then, that health warnings and government threats to impose a fat tax, known as the "Nutella amendment", have caused a mini revolution among Gallic consumers and sparked an international row.

On Monday, the Malaysian Palm Oil Council hit back at French claims that palm oil, a key ingredient in Nutella and widely used in margarine, biscuits and crisps, was detrimental to the environment and fuelling obesity. "Malaysia is deeply concerned with French Senator Yves Daudigny's proposed 300% tax increase on palm oil … Palm oil is a healthy, natural and important product, which 240,000 small farmers in Malaysia are proud to produce.

"Contrary to Senator Daudigny's comments, every nutritional and food expert concludes that palm oil is in fact free of dangerous trans fats, free of GMOs and contains valuable vitamins," the council's chief executive said in a statement.

Nutella's maker, Ferrero (of Ferrero Rocher chocolates fame), has also moved to reassure its customers in France, insisting that there will be no change in the recipe.

More: http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2012/nov/12/france-nutella-amendment-international-row

Note* - turnout percentages will show over 100% due to a two page ballot. the tabulation system (GEMS) provides voter turnout as equal to the total cards cast in the election divided by the number of registered voters. also note that some voters chose not to return by mail the second card containing the amendments.
http://www.slcelections.com/