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Member since: Thu Mar 16, 2006, 02:07 PM
Number of posts: 8,471

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David Brooks Writes Hysterical Satire -- The Real Romney

Unbelievable! David Brooks (of all people) has a very funny satirical biography of the "real" Mitt Romney -- who, according to Brook's research, was born in 5 of the swing states. It's really quite funny. Here's is a sampling...

Op-Ed Columnist
The Real Romney
Published: August 27, 2012

Romney was a precocious and gifted child. He uttered his first words (“I like to fire people”) at age 14 months, made his first gaffe at 15 months and purchased his first nursery school at 24 months. The school, highly leveraged, went under, but Romney made 24 million Jujubes on the deal.

Mitt grew up in a modest family. His father had an auto body shop called the American Motors Corporation, and his mother owned a small piece of land, Brazil...

...Romney was extremely detail oriented in his business life. He once canceled a corporate retreat at which Abba had been hired to play, saying he found the band’s music “too angry...”

After a successful stint at Bain, Romney was lured away to run the Winter Olympics, the second most Caucasian institution on earth, after the G.O.P. He then decided to run for governor of Massachusetts. His campaign slogan, “Vote Romney: More Impressive Than You’ll Ever Be,” was not a hit, but Romney won the race anyway on an environmental platform, promising to make the state safe for steeplechase.

After his governorship, Romney suffered through a midlife crisis, during which he became a social conservative. This prepared the way for his presidential run. He barely won the 2012 Republican primaries after a grueling nine-month campaign, running unopposed. At the convention, where his Secret Service nickname is Mannequin, Romney will talk about his real-life record: successful business leader, superb family man, effective governor, devoted community leader and prudent decision-maker. If elected, he promises to bring all Americans together and make them feel inferior.


Another failed attempt to make Mitt likeable

Mon Aug 27, 2012 at 06:30 PM PDT
Another failed attempt to make Mitt likeable
by Kaili Joy Gray

Mitt Romney may be the most painfully awkward, incapable-of-not-being-a-dick person on the planet. And every time, every single time, he tries to do something "normal" to show how "normal" he is, it is so cringe-worthy you almost have to feel sorry for him. He's even a dick, according to his own son Tagg, when his family gathers for supposedly normal family time:

CHRIS WALLACE: So, Tagg, what are family meals like?

TAGG ROMNEY: A little bit of craziness. Dad always goes in line first because he doesn't want to wait for all the grand children because it takes forever. Parents are cutting their meat and he's usually finished by the time the rest of us sit down.

This is what passes for family time in the Romney home? Mitt has to cut in front of everyone because golly, he sure doesn't want to have to wait for anyone else, especially not those annoying little grandchildren, and he sits down and eats and is all done by the time the rest of the family joins him, and that's a "family meal"?

And all of this—Chris Wallace joining the whole Romney clan at one of their many vacation homes—is yet another attempt to show us how just-a-regular-guy-who-loves-his-family Mitt is and that, contrary to popular belief, he is capable of actual human emotions. Not unlike the recent interview with Parade magazine in which Ann and Mitt tried really hard to prove Mitt is not a robot, but instead, we learned that he cries when he donates money to charity.

Wow. What a guy. What a dad. What a grandpa. What a dick.


Which is it Rmoney? Either he WORKED AT BAIN in 2010 or he commited FRAUD on his taxes!!!

Mon Aug 27, 2012 at 07:16 AM PDT
HuffPost: Romney asserted active role in Bain to claim half-million dollar tax deduction in 2010
by Jed Lewison Follow

According to Huffington Post, Mitt Romney's 2010 tax returns include more than a half-million dollars in "trade and business expense" deductions derived from Bain-related income—a tax reduction strategy that is only legal if Romney had an active role in Bain. What does "active" mean in this context?

The IRS advises that "actors that indicate active participation include making decisions involving the operation or management of the activity, performing services for the activity, and hiring and discharging employees. Factors that indicate a lack of active participation include lack of control in managing and operating the activity, having authority only to discharge the manager of the activity, and having a manager of the activity who is an independent contractor rather than an employee."

Even if Romney could persuade the IRS his involvement was legitimately active, that still leaves him in a rhetorical jam: For tax purposes, he claims an active status; for political purposes, he claims to have zero to do with the investments.

In other words, if Romney's deduction was legal, it means his claim to have had no involvement with Bain after February of 1999 was pure fiction, because as late as 2010, he claimed more than $500,000 in expenses related to his Bain investments. Of course, if it wasn't legal, Romney has other problems.

Whichever the case may be, the deduction was a particularly sweet deal for Romney: the income he receives from Bain is taxed as capital gains, which means he pays just 15 percent on it. But because he says these deductions are business expenses, they can reduce his ordinary income, which is taxed at 35 percent rate. That makes the deductions more than twice as valuable as they would have otherwise been.

Presumably, this isn't the first time Romney has deployed a tax-reduction strategy such as this. But because he won't release any tax returns before 2010, nobody can say for certain what exactly he is hiding.


Video of Chris Matthews ripping Priebus apart


Jimmy Fallon Does Romney on "Rom Bomb Video Vlog Blog" - HYSTERICAL!!!

This is absolutely marvelous!


Look what I found!

Thu Aug 23, 2012 at 02:17 PM PDT
The Brilliance of EarlG
by AmBushed

EarlG, co-founder of the liberal website, Democratic Underground, has recently been showing off his photoshopping prowess -- something I have thoroughly enjoyed. So, in the interest of humor, I have decided to share some of my favorites with the DK community. For a brief moment of levity, follow me below the Fleur de Kos and enjoy this small sampling!...


1st female Olympic boxing gold medalist Claressa Shields on Biden & Obama

Wed Aug 22, 2012 at 06:12 PM PDT
Make it viral: 1st female Olympic boxing gold medalist Claressa Shields on Biden & Obama
by Eclectablog


It's pretty cool knowing when you represent your country, you've got a president and a vice president who represent you. We’ve had tough times in Michigan, but we never give up. We just get up and keep going. We keep fighting with the president and vice president who’ve got our backs.

- Claressa Shields, 1st female Olympic boxing gold medalist


Winners: Anti-Romney bumper sticker slogans!!

Sun Aug 19, 2012 at 05:52 AM PDT
Winners: Anti-Romney bumper sticker slogans!! (Full List)
by SemDem


...Some you have heard before, most you haven't. Most are original, others can be found on websites from other progressives.

These slogans can be made into bumper stickers, T-shirts, signs for rallies, tags for blogs or facebook, or WHATEVER YOU WANT TO DO...

If you actually want any of these slogans to be on an item, first Google the slogan to see if someone is already selling what you want. For original slogans, there are several places on the web you can make your own stuff: Places like makestickers.com, bumperactive.com, zazzle.com or cafepress.com...


Together We Can Build A Medicare-Free Future!


Pharaoh was a Job Creator, so why did GOD side with a Community Organizer?

Mitt Romney thinks HIS tax history deserves more privacy than YOUR vagina.


Keep your Mitts off my college kid's Obamacare!

Hey Mitt, Show us your worth certificate!

GOP = Goodluck Old People

Romneys Tax cuts don't trickle down - they just float offshore

Romney: People like him don't care about people like you

Romney: That guy just gives me the Willards


I witnessed what we are up against!

Thu Aug 16, 2012 at 05:56 PM PDT
Florida Today and I witnessed what we are up against!
by Vewife

Today I took my son to get his DL changed from Ga to Fl.
Here we go. He had lost his actual social security card BUT he had his Hewett Jackson tax returns. His certified birth certificate. He had had two forms of physical address and his bank statement.. all of which showed his social security number, The number was good enough for the IRS but not the DMV.

They had access to his Ga DL and his other Florida DL from years ago and they issued a temporary DL BUT could not register to vote. They had his old DL up on screen from the year 2000 before it was transferred to Ga. They had the Ga DL...Give me a break!!!! Pictures and all. He is 43 not 19.

Ocala was the closest social security office. It is now shut down. 60 0r more miles to get a social security card. He lost is card in a lake and with all of those valid numbers. Now the next question. Do you have a passport? My reply..Come on..
He can't drive around the block legally and you want to know if he can leave the country via passport? My son was nice. I was pissed. I told her.. "Hey I know what is happening here ..King Scott put this in effect after he got elected right?"
The answer was yes. I again said, "He can temporarily drive for 30 days until the proper papers are shown but can't register to vote. That was an affirmative.

Do you really think Florida is not going to make it damn near impossible to get all the papers in order. Then I was so mad I could not see straight. She knew what car he drove in 1999 from that DL in Florida...Gonna tell me she didn't know he voted Dem last election. Where are your papers please. She looked a bit uncomfortable when I was throwing questions out there. Never smiled. Reminded me of some Nazi intake person. This is where you register to vote.
Wait till they compare our signatures on election day. How many handwriting analysis are onboard. None I venture to say.

I knew it would be bad. I had to show my marriage license to get my DL. What a bunch of crap.

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