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Sarah Ibarruri

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Name: Sarah
Gender: Female
Hometown: North Florida
Home country: U.S.
Current location: North Florida
Member since: Sun Sep 11, 2005, 09:28 PM
Number of posts: 21,043

About Me

Hamas has always been a terrorist group. I prefer not to discuss this matter if you are someone who is in favor of terrorist groups. Thank you.

Journal Archives

An article about why men don't open up (written by a man), critiqued by another man

This is an old opinion article (2007), but it was so interesting, I decided to post it here for discussion.

It's a critique by Jeff Fecque of an article written by Dave Zinczenko, in which Dave Zinczenko explains to women why men don't open up. The critique is rather humorous. I wonder which one is correct, Jeff or Dave?

Are men and women very different genetically with regard to communication skills and communication behavior? Or are there bigger differences between individuals than between men and women?


Here's an excerpt:


Further up on his want-to-do list after arriving home: 14 percent of men want to check email, 12 percent are looking for a little private time in the bathroom, and 10 percent simply want to eat dinner. The common theme here: After they’ve spent a day serving the needs of others, they want to take care of themselves a little.


You know, not for nothing, but there are quite a few women coming home at the end of a ten-hour day of serving others, and they may want some private time of their own. Or they may want to decompress by talking to, I don’t know, their life partner or something. Similarly, men may actually want to tell their significant others about their day, or they may need some quiet time to think about it. This may vary, incidentally, from day to day, and from person to person.


Rather than talking about how he “feels,” often a man would rather express his love by changing her oil, or bringing home a flower, or relinquishing control of the remote. And when men do talk, they’d prefer to talk about actions rather than emotions. For instance, a lot of guys would choose to express their long-range faith in a relationship by talking about next summer’s vacation plans, not by launching into a soliloquy about undying love.


Unga unga, me Jeff. Me no want talk about my life. Me go kill mastadon now. Shut up, woman! Me no want talk! Seriously, can we just, please, once and for all stuff the “Men are all about action” motif? Please? Because for the love of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, if men are uncomfortable talking about their feelings, the answer isn’t just to say, “Well, that’s how men are! He bought you a diamond ring, that means he loves you!” Some men are more comfortable with action than words. Some women, too. And the opposite is true.

Posted by Sarah Ibarruri | Thu Mar 1, 2012, 11:29 AM (69 replies)
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