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Member since: Sat Apr 2, 2005, 02:11 PM
Number of posts: 46,526

Journal Archives

Dumb Criminals: 3 Men With Same Name Arrested For Assault Outside Funeral Home

DRAYDEN, Md. (AP) — Police say a man and his two sons beat another man with pipes and a bat while he was pinned underneath a car after a funeral reception.

Authorities say the beating happened Dec. 5 and was part of ongoing dispute over land in southern Maryland.

Deputies say a man was hit and pinned by a car in a church parking lot and beaten by 49-year-old Steven Mason and his sons, 21-year-old Stephen Mason and 25-year-old Stevin Mason. The man was seriously injured.


Dumb Criminals: Guy Jerks Off Naked In Front Yard After Mom Bans Porn In House

Anthony Smith said his mom won’t let him watch porn in the house.

“Instead, he goes outside nude and walks around hoping that someone will see him,” an arrest affidavit states.
Anthony Smith

That’s what Smith, 21, told Martin County Sheriff’s deputies Nov. 14 when they went to the 1900 block of Southeast Monroe Street in Stuart for a report of a nude dude.

Two people shortly after 1 p.m. said they saw Smith standing in his yard. He had no clothes on and was masturbating.

When a sheriff’s lieutenant pulled up, he noticed Smith “bending down naked in the driveway.”


I like that this is posted in a section called "Off The Beat".

No Contest, The Stupidest Criminal Of 2014 Is.... (*Drum Roll*)

Vernon police took three drivers into custody during a weekend drunken driving enforcement operation.

On Saturday at 8:08 p.m., a vehicle driven by David Caruso, 51, of 1365 Main St., Coventry, approached a checkpoint, according to an arrest report. Police immediately noticed that Caruso was drinking a beer while operating the vehicle and he was pulled over, according to an arrest report.

Police said his driver's license was under suspension for a previous driving under the influence charge.

Police said he was charged with:

• Drinking while driving.
• Operating a motor vehicle under suspension for alcohol.
• Illegally operating a motor vehicle while under suspension.
• Operating an unregistered motor vehicle.


Congratulations David Caruso! You are the stupidest criminal of 2014! No need for a top 10 or anything!

Dumb Criminals: Oakland Homeless Man Steals Ambulance In Effort To Reach Strip Club

Frustrated with a lack of public transportation and in desperate need to reach a certain destination, a homeless man stole an ambulance from a hospital in Pontiac on Sunday.

“He told the deputy he was hoping to go to the Booby Trap to see some pole dancing,” Oakland County Sheriff Michael Bouchard said.

“You can’t make this up.”

The man, who hoped to make it to the Detroit strip club but was stopped by police in Sterling Heights, was asked why he took the ambulance.

“Apparently he said there was no public transportation available,” Bouchard said.

“Again, you can’t make this up.”

Deputies learned of the theft around 11 p.m. Sunday, when they were dispatched to the hospital in the 50 block of Perry. The ambulance had been parked at the entrance after a patient was transported to the hospital, and it was unlocked and had a cell phone inside.


The Greatest Hits Of Pastor Steven Anderson (Graphic Language Warning)

Want to know what a dangerous and certifiably insane individual Arizona Pastor Steven Anderson is? I had not heard of this individual until he had come under fire for suggesting a "Final Solution" for the planet's LGBT citizens in a very anti-science effort to combat AIDS and HIV, despite ignoring the fact that it affects both LGBT and straight individuals.

Despite being under investigation by the SPLC, Anderson admitted that his church is a hate group:

In fact, Steven Anderson of Faithful Word Baptist Church is on the list and he openly admits that he "absolutely" hates gays:

Tucked in a Tempe strip mall sits the Faithful Word Baptist Church .

The church is not new and the controversy surrounding the beliefs of its leader are not new. However, a report released Wednesday by the Southern Poverty Law Center gives the church a new label.

The SPLC is now listing the church as a hate group targeting homosexuals in a list of hate groups operating in Arizona.

"Do I hate? Absolutely," said Faithful Word Baptist Church Pastor Steven Anderson.

- See more at: http://www.rightwingwatch.org/content/if-hating-homosexuals-makes-our-church-hate-group-then-thats-what-we-are#sthash.Y7lsPTiA.dpuf

And in this sermon from 2009, he commands that all gay people should be put to death:

You want to know who the biggest hypocrite in the world is? The biggest hypocrite in the world is the person who believes in the death penalty for murderers and not for homosexuals. Hypocrite. The same God who instituted the death penalty for murderers is the same God who instituted the death penalty for rapists and for homosexuals - sodomites, queers! That's what it was instituted for, okay? That's God, he hasn't changed. Oh, God doesn't feel that way in the New Testament ... God never "felt" anything about it, he commanded it and said they should be taken out and killed.

You know why God wanted the sodomites in the Old Testament to be killed? You know why every good king of Israel, the Bible says they got rid of the sodomites in the land? You know, the good kings that came after the bad kings who had allowed the sodomites to infest their land, they had infiltrated ... King Asa got the sodomites out of the land, Jehoshaphat exterminated the sodomites that were left from the days of his father, Asa. Why? Because the sodomites are infectious, that's why. Because they're not reproducers, that goes without saying, they're recruiters.
- See more at: http://www.rightwingwatch.org/content/god-commands-you-kill-gays#sthash.g9quJEd0.dpuf

More if you can stomach it: http://www.rightwingwatch.org/category/organizations/faithful-word-baptist-church

Dumb Criminals: Florida (Obviously) Man Caught Slipping Cow Tongue Into Pants

DELAND, Fla. (AP) — Police in Florida say a Wal-Mart shopper denied slipping $35 worth of beef tongue into his pants, but the telltale tongue told a different story.

DeLand police say 44-year-old Jason Puckett was charged last week with misdemeanor theft after a Wal-Mart security guard spotted him slipping two packages of tongue into his waistband.

When the guard confronted Puckett at the store's exit, Puckett denied stealing the packages and said he had put them back on a shelf.

But the guard told authorities Puckett then removed the tongue from his pants when he didn't think he was being watched and ran from the store.


Dumb Criminals Deja Vu: Two Teenage Crooks Can't Drive Stick Shift

HOUSTON (AP) — Authorities say two teenagers attempting to carjack a vehicle in Houston were foiled by a stick shift.

The pair held the motorist at gunpoint last weekend and demanded that he tell them how to drive the vehicle. After the driver provided a few instructions, the teens ordered him out of the vehicle. He then called police.

A brief police chase ensued. Stefan Happ, an officer for the University of Texas at Houston, told KPRC-TV (http://bit.ly/1tJoDw9 ) the teens "had issues operating the vehicle."

The pair opted to flee on foot and were later apprehended.


Same stupid crime, different day.

Citizen Brick Has Created A Painstakingly Detailed Lego Strip Club

The set, produced by Citizen Brick, includes four minifigures and a club with zebra-print couches and a pole. And like a night at an exotic dance joint, these Legos aren't cheap: The whole thing costs $275.

Citizen Brick owner Joe Trupia told The Huffington Post he's sold a few hundred so far. The company has been customizing Legos since 2010. It produced a popular "Breaking Bad"-like set last year.

"We're fanatically doing things that Lego wouldn't do," Trupia told HuffPost.


The latest, called "The Citizen Brick Center for the Performing Arts," is a "place where dreamers can dream, and dancers can dance," the site's copy reads.


Dumb Cops: New Jersey Cop Shot At His Own Police Cruiser

CAMDEN, N.J. (AP) — A New Jersey police officer has been accused of shooting a gun at his own police vehicle.

The Camden County Prosecutor's Office says 23-year-old Da'Shaun Carr used his personal gun to shoot a hole in his windshield on Oct. 3 and then communicated by police radio that he had been fired upon.

Police searched the area around New Brooklyn Park in Winslow, where he said the shooting happened.

Carr is a part-time special officer with the Winslow Police Department. He was charged Monday with false public alarms and has been suspended without pay.


Dumb Criminals: Oregon Couple Has Sex In Car Outside County Jail

A couple having sex in a car on an Oregon street corner had a short trip to jail — they were parked outside.

The jailhouse rockers drew police at 5:44 p.m. on Sunday after their extracurricular activity drew complaints and slowed traffic thanks to gawkers in Springfield, Ore.

Kelli Knutson, 24, and boyfriend Logan Jackson, 33, had been at The Brick House strip club and parked across the street, KVAL reported. Rather than head home, they got naked and frisky in the car, police said.


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