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Member since: Sat Apr 2, 2005, 03:11 PM
Number of posts: 53,204

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Stephen Baldwin Says Gays Should Start Their Own Church If They Want To Marry

While attending the Republican National Convention this week, actor Stephen Baldwin offered up some eyebrow-raising views on same-sex marriage.

The 50-year-old “Usual Suspects” star told Katie Couric in a July 19 Yahoo! News interview that his stance on marriage equality was a bit of a “Jedi mind trick.” Same-sex couples should be allowed to marry, he said, if they started their own churches and institutions that give them that right.

“I think anybody should be free to do whatever they want, but they shouldn’t ask other people to compromise what they believe in order to do so,” he said. “I don’t think there should be anything wrong with that at all.”

When Couric pressed him further, Baldwin noted that some of his “best friends in the world are gay folks,” before attempting a clarification that somehow wound up making his stance more convoluted than it had been previously.

“If they believe that they should have the right to have that kind of a union, and they believe that they should have the rights that come along with that,” he said, “they shouldn’t ask, for instance, the Catholic church to change its doctrine to accommodate that.”


Mike Norris (Chuck's Son) Claims He Was Poisoned At Screening Of Conspiracy Theory Flick

Mike Norris, the first-born son of Chuck Norris, hired a bodyguard after allegedly being poisoned while promoting his new movie Amerigeddon. At a screening for Amerigeddon in Columbus, Ohio, recently, Norris, 53, claims that someone in a gray suit rubbed poison on the back of his neck, causing him to become violently ill on his drive back to Dayton. Mike Norris won’t say for sure that the stranger’s actions were nefarious, just “strange and scary” enough for him to hire a bodyguard approved by his martial artist father, Chuck Norris.

After having acted in over two dozen films, Mike Norris is still more well-known as the son of Chuck Norris, a martial arts champion and actor who rose to fame in the 1972 martial arts action film Way of the Dragon as Bruce Lee’s nemesis. Chuck Norris, 76, made his acting debut in 1963 when first-born son Mike Norris was only 6-years-old. Mike followed in his father’s acting footsteps at the young age of 16 as a pizza skateboarder in the Chuck Norris martial arts film A Force One. He’s also appeared in 26 other large- and small-screen movies before he decided to become a film director.

Mike Norris directed the 2016 film Amerigeddon, written by Texas businessman Gary Heavin. Amerigeddon is slightly controversial and is a film that the “government does not want people to see,” according to Heavin. Heavin says Amerigeddon is fictional, but the events in the film could be considered “very real threats.” Heavin, a 61-year-old millionaire who owns the fast-growing fitness franchise Curves, decided in 2013 to produce “movies that make a difference,” starting with the film Mission Air, a 2014 Christian movie about a mother and son’s mission trip to Mexico that was also directed by Mike Norris.
Read more at http://www.inquisitr.com/3335678/mike-norris-son-of-chuck-norris-director-of-amerigeddon-hires-bodyguard-after-alleged-poisoning-attempt/#YO1Uv2zkzztf8O4O.99

Just... I have no words.

Stephen Colbert Mocks Donald Trump's "We Are The Champions" Entrance

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #36: Make America Twerk Again Edition

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #36: Make America Twerk Again Edition

Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! It’s the most wonderful time of the year! With the kids jingle belling and everyone telling you be of good cheer! It’s the most wonderful time of the year! Come on sing it with me! Can you believe it’s already here? Star Trek Beyond is in theaters RIGHT FUCKING NOW!!!! No I’m kidding. I can’t wait to see that movie though. Of course I’m talking about the Republican National Convention, which as Bill Maher called it a “Category 5 Shit Storm”. So it's official - Donald Trump no longer is the presumptive nominee - he is the nominee. And that is some scary shit. We’ll talk about this later. I knew this was not going to leave me with a shortage of material but I had no idea how good this would be – and we’re only two days in!! this comes from an By the way, how hilarious was Stephen Colbert crashing the convention dressed like the host of the Hunger Games and launching his own Republican Hunger Games? I mean come on, that was pure genius, am I right? Well first Bill Maher slams the idea of 24/7 employment with unpaid overtime (if this New Rule doesn’t make you mad, it should) :

So where do we begin this week? Normally this is the RNC special edition. But for the top slot, we have a special report. We’re taking a dip in the international conservative idiots file and going overseas to Turkey where a real-life coup is taking place. And it is about as spectacular a fail as you might imagine, and their president Tayyip Erdogan (1) is turning from a mere elected president into a full blown fascist, North Korean-esque dictator right before our very eyes. And if you guessed that the revolution taking place in Turkey is aimed at us, you are correct! Getting back to our regularly scheduled programming, the second slot has to go to the RNC (2) and their amazing…? Lineup of pure 100% grade A bullshit they have for the RNC, we’ll break down the exhaustive lineup in Cleveland for you. At number 3 and 4 of course is the guest of honor, Trumpenfuror. In the third slot we’re going to discuss failed adventures in logo design, and talk about his insane appearance on 60 Minutes, while in the number 4 slot, we’re going to talk about the events leading up to, before, and after Trump’s announcement of his pick for vice president of Indiana Governor Mike Pence. And in case you’re unaware, last week there was that horrifying terror attack at France’s Bastille Day and of course Trumpenfuror managed to tie it to himself. At number 5 is Melania Trump (5). So Donald Trump’s wife gave a speech on Monday and if you guessed it ripped off the exact same speech Michelle Obama gave at the 2008 DNC, you are correct sir / madam! In the number 6 slot we’re going to bring back “People Who Somehow Got Elected”. And if you guessed this segment is going to talk about Trumpenfuror’s VP pick Mike Pence (6), you are correct sir / madam! Taking the seventh seed, we’re going to talk about sovereign citizens (7), and specifically the Baton Rouge Cop Killer. Plus some Fox News correspondents may or may not be screaming for a race war. On the lighter side – Paul Ryan (8) fails at social media when he Tweets a picture of the new class of Congressional Interns, and of course the internet loses their collective shit when they notice one fatal flaw in his plan. In the number 9 slot (NEIN!!!), we’ve got a couple of random conservative acts of stupidity to cover including Josh Dugger channeling Bart Simpson, while Ryan Bundy got caught trying to escape from prison, and Roger Ailes got fired from his job as the CEO of Fox News. Don't worry - he won't spend any time in CEO jail, get a nice severance package, and will go to another company to ruin. Finally this week, Pokemon Go (10) is the subject on the table, and we talked about it last week, but the most popular app of all time is attracting some strange bedfellows. And we’ve got all the weird news, extreme players, cheating significant others, stabbing victims, arrests, North Korea, and lots more mayhem as a result of Nintendo's insanely popular augmented reality game. Enjoy! And as always don’t forget the key!

Coup De Turkey

We have a Top 10 Special Report for you. Hit it!

Turkey. That country you think so little about, you had no idea that this isn’t Turkey.

Ha! Fooled you! That’s actually Romania. But there’s been some serious shit going down in the world lately. You had a terror attack that killed 80 in France, and you had a real life coup take place in Turkey that didn’t end peacefully.

Nearly three days have passed since a faction within Turkey’s military attempted to overthrow the government, deploying tanks to the streets of Istanbul and Ankara, blocking bridges, arresting top military officers, seizing TV stations and launching coordinated attacks on police and security headquarters, promising to restore true democracy.

That effort was short-lived but bloody, with hundreds of lives lost and thousands wounded in the carnage. The capital city is pockmarked with tell-tale signs of the violence, abandoned tanks now a curiosity for locals posing on the metal carcasses left in the streets. Shattered glass and concrete adorn the grounds of local security and intelligence headquarters and the parliament building, itself bombed in an attack on democratic institutions of symbolic importance.

But as Turkey picks up the pieces after the failed coup, new details are emerging of how it unfolded, and just how close the military intervention came to succeeding. Many observers have labelled the attempt amateurish, but accounts by officials contradict this characterisation, describing it as well organised and very nearly successful.

Yes it was over before people even batted an eye. But what are those “new details that are emerging”? I mean look at how corrupt Turkey’s government is / was. And it’s not over. Or is it? Some say it is and some say it isn’t.

Turkey's President Tayyip Erdogan arrived at Istanbul's airport early Saturday and greeted crowds there, hours after elements of the military staged a coup and tried to seize power with tanks and aircraft.

Erdogan emerged from a vehicle at Istanbul's Ataturk Airport at around 4 a.m. Saturday local time (9 p.m. Friday ET). Speaking to the nation, Erdogan said a coup d'etat was attempted by a group in the military.

"They are going to pay for this in the harshest way," Erdogan vowed. He said his general secretary was abducted by coup makers and there is no information on the chief of the military staff. Clashes continued to be reported in Istanbul and the capital of Ankara early Saturday.

After elements of the military shut down bridges in Istanbul with tanks, shut down a state-controlled television station and attempted to seize power Friday, Erdogan had defiantly urged people to take to the streets in a show of support for the government.

Read more: http://www.nbcnews.com/news/world/attempt-coup-turkey-prime-minister-says-n610531

So the Turkish military tried to stage a coup against its’ own government. And here’s where things get scary – Erdogan actually pulled a real life Purge. No, this didn’t involve crime being legal for 24 hours. Instead the opposite – he’s purging Turkey’s governors and leaders – nearly 8,000 members of the Turkish police force, and nearly 30 governors got fired as a result of this epic failure:

ISTANBUL — Turkey intensified a crackdown Monday on people allegedly linked to a failed coup plot, sacking more than 8,000 police in what U.S. and other Western officials fear could be an all-out purge by the government of President Recep Tayyip Erdogan.

Thousands of military officers, soldiers and other alleged conspirators have already been detained and fired amid concerns of chaos in Turkey’s powerful military following an attempt to overthrow Erdogan’s government late Friday. The country is a NATO member and important player in a U.S.-led international military coalition against Islamic State militants in Syria and Iraq.

Turkish media reported that prosecutors started interrogating more than two dozen generals, including the alleged coup leader. The reports said at least 30 governors — more than a third of the total — have been fired.

Authorities dismissed more than 8,000 members of Turkey’s police force nationwide in connection with the coup attempt, a senior official said Monday, speaking on condition of anonymity.

Read more: https://www.washingtonpost.com/world/turkish-purges-spread-to-police-forces-in-the-wake-of-quashed-coup/2016/07/18/b31b37de-4cb9-11e6-aa14-e0c1087f7583_story.html


But we’re still not done – who else is Erdogan firing? Why nearly all of Turkey’s education department:

More than 15,000 education staff in Turkey have been suspended after last week's failed coup, as a purge of state officials widens still further.

The Ministry of Education accused them of links to Fethullah Gulen, a US-based cleric the Turkish government says was behind Friday's uprising.

Mr Gulen denies any involvement with the coup attempt .

Turkey's High Education board has also ordered the resignation of over 1,500 university deans, state media reported.

Read more: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-36838347

And we’re still not done – Erdogan has stated that he could bring back the death penalty.

(CNN)Turkey's President refuses to rule out the death penalty for thousands of people arrested after a failed military coup Friday, despite warnings that reintroducing capital punishment could dash Turkey's chances of joining the European Union.
Speaking through his translator in an exclusive interview with CNN's Becky Anderson, Turkish President Recep Tayyip Erdogan called the failed military coup a "clear crime of treason."

The Turkish people have made it clear they want death for the "terrorists" who plotted the coup, Erdogan said in his first interview since the July 15 attempt.

So one thing you have to give Erdogan credit for – this guy has some balls. And I mean serious balls. Brass balls even.

But how did this whole thing get started? Remember when I said that they hated America? Well it turns out that they hate America for more reasons than you might think – and it starts with the US giving extradition to the guy who attempted a previous coup of Turkey’s government back in 1980, who has been living in the US without trial since 1999:

The United States would consider an extradition request for the Pennsylvania-based cleric blamed for the attempted military coup in Turkey, Secretary of State John Kerry said Saturday.

In a televised speech, Turkish President Recep Tayyip Erdogan said the U.S. should extradite Fethullah Gulen, a Muslim cleric who self-exiled from Turkey to the Poconos in 1999.

Erdogan and the Turkish government say Gulen is behind the clashes that broke out Friday night when the military attempted and failed to usurp the government. At least 194 people were killed in the turmoil.

But Gulen denied any involvement with the coup, telling reporters Saturday that he thinks it may have been "staged."

Read more: http://www.nbcnews.com/storyline/turkey-military-coup/attempted-turkey-coup-u-s-would-consider-extradition-request-blamed-n610906

Wait why would Erdogan stage his own coup? That makes absolutely no sense. Probably – it’s the Purge!!! *cue horror music*

Fethullah Gülen: Turkey Coup May Have Been 'Staged' By Erdoğan Regime

Fethullah Gülen, the reclusive cleric blamed by President Recep Tayyip Erdoğan for the failed coup in Turkey, believes the uprising by members of the country’s military could have been “staged” by the government it aimed to overthrow.

In a rare and brief interview on Saturday with a small group of journalists at his residence in Saylorsburg, Pennsylvania, Gülen rejected all accusations that he was behind the coup attempt.

“I don’t believe that the world believes the accusations made by President Erdoğan,” Gülen said. “There is a possibility that it could be a staged coup and it could be meant for further accusations .”

Oh and by the way in case you were wondering, Erdogan didn’t just TV in Turkey, he cancelled *ALL* of it, going full North Korea in the process:

Istanbul (AFP) - Turkish authorities on Tuesday scrapped all television and radio station licences linked to US-based preacher Fethullah Gulen, whom Ankara accuses of being behind Friday's failed coup.

The broadcasting watchdog said it had "cancelled all broadcasting rights and licences for media that had links to FETO/PDY", the acronym for the Gulen movement.

Read more: https://www.yahoo.com/news/turkey-cancels-tv-radio-licences-linked-gulen-watchdog-161735777.html?ref=gs

RNC Schedule

Back to our regularly scheduled program. I love that Time Magazine posted this picture highlighting the four phases of the GOP convention in one picture:

Ooh can I play??

Phase 1 - America!!!! Fuck yeah motherfucker!!!!
Phase 2 - Either drunk from playing the RNC drinking game or horrified at the thought of what GOP candidates are proposing that it's causing projectile vomiting.
Phase 3 - Definitely blacked out from playing the RNC drinking game.
Phase 4 - Please change the channel!

And by the way does anyone notice that the stage looks like a giant toilet?

Also the Norovirus seems to be hitting Cleveland, and particularly the RNC pretty hard:

Convoluted excuses about Melania Trump's plagiarism weren't the only thing making the rounds at the Republican National Convention Tuesday—apparently, a group of staffers from California was also passing around a nasty strain of norovirus, STAT reports.

California's delegation chairman, Jim Brulte, told Buzzfeed News that at least 12 members of the staff who have shown symptoms of the virus have now been quarantined. Brulte confirmed that patient zero was one staffer who came to the convention sick, then most likely passed it to her husband, who is also a staffer on the trip.

The virus—which causes unfortunate bouts of diarrhea, vomiting, and stomach pain—is extremely contagious and can be spread by getting too close to someone who's infected, touching contaminated surfaces, as well as what STAT calls the "fecal-oral route." Luckily for the staffers, it passes through your system pretty quickly and usually decimates your insides for just a few days at most.

In an effort to keep the virus from ripping through the convention of roughly 50,000 people from all over the country, the staffers will be locked up until they've gone 24 hours without symptoms. In the meantime, everybody at the RNC should probably be wary of the ketchup and mustard stations.

So the RNC is already off to a great start as Stephen Colbert crashed the party and launched his own version of the Republican Hunger Games:

Stephen Colbert crashed the stage during preparations for the Republican National Convention in Cleveland on Sunday to poke fun at presumptive GOP presidential nominee Donald Trump.

But “The Late Show” host’s stunt lasted less than a minute before a security guard quickly escorted him away.

The video below ― which shows the comedian seizing the microphone while dressed as Caesar Flickerman, the host from “The Hunger Games” movie franchise ― was posted online and is now going viral.

And here’s the tape:

But some good news – you know who is going to be joining Colbert for the RNC coverage? Why you guessed it – his longtime friend and collaborator Jon Stewart! YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The kids (and myself) are really happy about this one, folks!

Jon Stewart just couldn't stay away from this year's election.

The former Daily Show host is set to take part in Stephen Colbert's Late Show live episodes for the Republican National Convention, The Hollywood Reporter confirmed. Stewart also will appear on the Late Show on Monday.

His role isn't yet clear, but Colbert, the former Daily Show correspondent, has two full weeks planned for The Late Show on CBS covering both the Republican and Democratic conventions, which he has dubbed: "The 2016 Trumpublican Donational Conventrump" and "The 2016 Democratic National Convincing, A Technically Historic Event: Death. Taxes. Hillary,” respectively.

So getting into the convention let’s go through the schedule shall we and pick out some choice items? I mean there’s this:

Daily Themes & Headliners:
Monday: Make America Safe Again
Headliners: Melania Trump, Lieutenant General (ret.) Michael Flynn, U.S. Senator Joni Ernst (R-Iowa), Jason Beardsley and U.S. Rep. Ryan Zinke (Mont.).

Tuesday: Make America Work Again
Headliners: Donald Trump, Jr., U.S. Sen. Shelley Moore Capito (WV), Ben Carson and Kimberlin Brown.

Wednesday: Make America First Again
Headliners: Lynne Patton; Eric Trump; former Speaker of the U.S. House of Representatives Newt Gingrich and his wife, Callista; and Indiana Governor Mike Pence, whom Donald Trump has chosen as his vice presidential running mate.

Thursday: Make America One Again
Headliners: Peter Thiel, Tom Barrack, Ivanka Trump and Donald Trump

Gee they’re really going to town with the “Make America Again” theme aren’t they? You know they can talk shit about jobs all they want but the truth is they cater to the needs of the billionaires and don't do jack shit about the working class individuals. As George Carlin said "It's a big club and we're not in it. You and I are not in the big club.". So if they're going to make America "work" again, why don't we make America Twerk again? The difference there is everyone will be twerking. #MakeAmericaTwerkAgain

So who else do they have on the lineup?

Willie Robertson, CEO of Duck Commander and Buck Commander, star of Duck Dynasty
The star of A&E’s hit series Duck Dynasty, Willie Robertson, is the CEO of Duck Commander and Buck Commander, a New York Times bestselling author, traveling speaker, father of five, and an avid outdoorsman.

Yup! One of our favorite punching bags here at the Top 10 – the Duck Dynasty clan. Ugh… could things get any worse?

Scott Baio, star of the sitcoms Charles in Charge and the Happy Days spinoff Joanie Loves Chachi, has announced that he will speak at the upcoming Republican National Convention in Cleveland after being personally asked by Donald Trump. "I was at a fundraiser for Mr. Trump the other night with my wife and he invited me to speak at the convention, which was completely unexpected and out of left field," the actor told Fox News Saturday.

Baio provides Trump with a celebrity endorsement, something lacking from the list of expected convention speakers that includes Trump's wife and children, former GOP presidential hopefuls like Ted Cruz and Ben Carson, high-ranking Republicans, military veterans and UFC president Dana White. Football star Tim Tebow was initially named as a convention speaker before the quarterback quashed those rumors. Baio added in his Fox News interview that Trump was "a man that I believe in."

But this guy has to be the craziest item on the list, and I’m really surprised that he wasn’t chosen as Trumpenfuror’s running mate:

In the lead-up to and during the Republican National Convention in Cleveland, we’ll be profiling some of the activists and politicians invited to speak at the event. Find more of our Meet the Speakers series here.

The Republican National Convention released a partial list today of the politicians, activists, C-list celebrities and Donald Trump family members who will be speaking at next week’s convention. What the speakers’ list lacks in establishment GOP leaders it makes up for in fringe activists. One name especially stands out: Sheriff David Clarke, the Milwaukee law enforcement officer who has made a name for himself hurling anti-Obama vitriol on Fox News and elsewhere while quietly cozying up to anti-government extremist groups.

Clarke, who is African American, has built a conservative following by enthusiastically bashing President Obama, his Justice Department, Hillary Clinton and the Black Lives Matter movement.

Clarke has called the Black Lives Matter movement “black slime” that “needs to be eradicated from the American society and the American culture,” “garbage” and a “subversive movement” that seeks to overthrow the government, and said that the movement is driven by “an ideology of victimhood with a list of grievances that do not exist.” He has dismissed concerns about police brutality by saying that “black criminal abuse, black criminal brutality” is “the real brutality going on in the United States.” The real problem in “the American ghetto,” he has said, is “modern liberalism.”

Wow, I’m surprised Donald Trump didn’t pick this guy to be his running mate. Racism? Check. Sexism? Check. Hates the government? Checkity check check!

And by the way remember last week when I pointed out how the republicans declared porn a “health crisis”? Well………….

The party of Lincoln, it appears, is also the party of porn.

In Cleveland, where Donald Trump was nominated by his party’s delegates Tuesday afternoon, porn viewership has surpassed—for the first time—New York City, Miami, and Los Angeles, according to a leading adult-video streaming service.

The increase in Cleveland porn traffic during the Republican National Convention is allegedly 184 percent higher than usual, xHamster reports. Cleveland is making history in all sorts of ways, shattering its previous record for porn viewership while topping out at 873,294 views.

There are more people in Cleveland watching porn right now, xHamster says, than when the Cavaliers won the NBA championship (though, it’s not entirely clear what one has to do with the other).


Donald Trump

So for this entry we got to talk about how to *NOT* design a campaign logo. Especially one that will be the butt of jokes of the internet. It didn’t even last a day, people! A fucking day! Of course cry baby Donald Trump is going to remove it when this happens. But before we get into some of the more creative logos, can we show the original please? Let’s throw that up there.

Not too bad until you see that Beavis heartily endorses this logo.

And then wait until you see what Samantha Bee did with it:

Come on even the guy who designed the logo is no fan of Trumpenfuror by any means! I mean come on, and I will post some cringe-worthy excerpts from the Wired article on the Trumppence Logo:

Graphic designers are no more or less biased than any other human being. And that colors how they see things. The trick is to penetrate those predilections. “If I didn’t hate this man with such an intense passion and pleasure, and if I didn’t think this Pence guy was somebody we should never have to hear from, I would say that the logo was pretty distinctive,” says renowned design critic Steven Heller. “It’s not bad. And it’s certainly better than the logo he was using before.”

Vit, too, acknowledges his prejudice, even as he tries to poke holes in it. “I’m not, by any means, a fan of Donald Trump,” he says, noting that it’s hard to disassociate all the nasty things Trump says from this new symbol. “Even if Trump’s campaign came up with the best logo ever,” he says, “I’d find something negative to say about it.”

I mean the logo didn’t even last a fucking day! Where’s your sense of respecting our leaders? Oh wait this guy who wants to be leader has respect for um, absolutely nobody!

Looks like the Trump-Pence campaign had a little talk with the graphic designer.

After a logo went out Friday that combined the T from Donald Trump’s last name and the P from Mike Pence’s name in an embrace, a lot of people questioned the positioning of the letters.

On Saturday during a speech introducing the Indiana governor as his official vice president (though it took quite some time for Pence to actually make it on the stage) the logo was noticeably missing.

Can we throw the new logo up there?

Off to a great start guys! Really bravo well done!

By the way, GQ hilariously speculates how that horrible logo could have reared its’ ugly head:

People have wondered how a logo this terrible could happen. I imagine it went something like this:

GRAPHIC DESIGNER: "Okay, Mr. Trump, I have the final logo. It's simple. It takes what works about your current logo and just adds Pence's name."

TRUMP: Great. Just what I asked for.

The designer pulls up a logo.

“Yeah well… logo designers and graphic artists are stupid losers. See I need a logo that appeals to me, as well as appeals to Fox News viewers. What? You mean Roger Ailes is under indictment for sexual harassment? Shit.”

Donald Trump

So two things you should know by now unless you’re living under a rock: 1. There was an absolutely horrifying terror attack in Nice, France where a guy plowed a truck into a Bastille Day celebration, started shooting, and killed 80. And no, it didn’t play out like the ending of Animal House. 10,000 marbles were not involved. 2. Donald Trump picked Mike Pence to be his running mate on the ticket for 2016. 3. Donald Trump was made aware of the terror attack in Nice, France. But he managed to, in pure Donald J. Trump fashion, managed to tie the entire thing back to himself.

Following a tumultuous 48 hours of international news, Donald Trump kicked off his vice-presidential announcement with a brief foray into foreign policy.

Addressing the terrorist attack in Nice, France, that killed at least 84, Trump said the world is experiencing "horror beyond belief, no matter where you look. And now it’s happening more and more, and it’s never going to stop."

"We need new leadership, we need new thinking. We need, in our country, law and order," Trump said. "And if I'm elected president, that will happen."

He then pivoted to the violent attempted coup in Turkey, where his comments were notably more vague.

“I’m the law and order candidate, I make the best laws, I write the best laws, and the best laws are made at Trump Tower. I love America!!!”

But at leasat Rush Limbaugh is willing to take one for the team if it means Hillary loses in November:

In an effort to describe how much he doesn’t want Hillary Clinton to be the next president of the United States, media titan Rush Limbaugh said he would be fine with giving up his radio show if it guaranteed the former secretary of state would lose to Donald Trump.

“If Hillary Clinton losing meant the end of this program, then that’s what I would be for,” Limbaugh declared on his Monday broadcast. “If that’s what it took to save this country – meaning she loses, and that means my radio show goes away – then that’s what I would do.”

“I have no self-interest in this whatsoever,” Limbaugh continued. “I’m not looking forward to Hillary Clinton being in the White House so I can seek greater advertising revenues. I don’t have a problem with that as it is. I don’t need Democrats in office to be successful. My success is not determined by who wins elections and it never has been.”

Read more at http://www.wnd.com/2016/07/limbaugh-ok-with-losing-radio-show-if-it-means-hillary-loss/#OP4B7vOSRBQYwhGu.99

Yeah it’s World Nut Daily. Sue me.

And speaking of "Making America Safe Again", a delegate from Utah got assaulted in the bathroom by some Trump supporters. It's gonna get ugly before things are over.

CLEVELAND - A Utah delegate was reportedly threatened inside a bathroom at Quicken Loans Arena during the Republican National Convention Monday.

According to NBC, Utah delegate Kera Birkeland was on the floor during the Rules vote as one of the delegates calling for a roll call vote.

Birkeland reportedly went to the women's restroom and when she emerged from a stall, a group of Trump supporters surrounded her and threatened to kill her, urging her to leave the party and the state.

And then Queen has asked Trump to stop using "We Are The Champions". You know what is it with Republicans and music? Like every song they've ever tried to use dating back to the dawn of man has been rejected by the artists, I could post about a million examples.

Queen has lashed out at Donald Trump again for using their 1977 song "We Are the Champions" without permission.

Queen guitarist Brian May has vowed to stop Donald Trump's campaign from using the band's music.

"We are frustrated by the repeated unauthorized use of the song after a previous request to desist, which has obviously been ignored by Mr. Trump and his campaign," the band said in a statement issued by their publishing company, Sony/ATV Music Publishing.

And then one of my favorite things – an LA street artist built a border wall around Donald Trump’s star on the Hollywood Walk Of Fame:

The piece is described by a representative of the British-born street artist as a "grey concrete wall ... complete with 'keep out' signs and topped with razor wire."

Plastic Jesus is behind other headline-generating pieces, including a life-size Oscar statue that appears to be shooting up heroin.

His latest motto, "Stop making stupid people famous," is featured on the miniature wall.

Melania Trump

You know one topic we’ve yet to touch on in the Top 10 is plagiarism. What happens when republicans get caught cheating. Well… never say never because it happened on Monday. So before we get into this entry here we’re going to play Melania Trump’s speech from the RNC on Monday night. I mean this sounds innocent enough right?

Well it sounds innocent enough right? Well let’s dig deeper.

A passage of Melania Trump's speech at the Republican National Convention on Monday night bore a striking resemblance to the speech delivered nearly eight years ago by another first lady hopeful, Michelle Obama.

As journalist Jarrett Hill flagged on Twitter, a portion of Trump's speech in which she discussed the values instilled in her by her parents appeared to be largely the same words uttered by Michelle Obama at the 2008 Democratic National Convention in Denver.

That’s right – Melania Trump got caught cheating on her speech by ripping off nearly the exact same one Michelle Obama gave in 2008. Let’s play that one shall we?

Now let’s play the two side by side!

So of course the Trumpenfuror campaign is in full denial mode:

(CNN)Donald Trump's campaign manager denied allegations Tuesday that Melania Trump plagiarized a Michelle Obama speech on the first night of the Republican National Convention, calling the accusation "just really absurd."
"To think that she would do something like that knowing how scrutinized her speech was going to be last night is just really absurd," Trump's campaign chairman Paul Manafort told CNN's Chris Cuomo on "New Day."

At least one passage in Trump's speech Monday night plagiarized from Obama's address to the Democratic National Convention in 2008.

And of course now RNC chairman Reince Priebus (or Rinse Penis as I’ve heard him called ), is threatening to fire Trump’s speech writer over this:

Republican Party boss Reince Priebus said Tuesday he’d “probably” fire Melania Trump’s speechwriter if it were up to him, after her address came under fire for containing passages similar to the speech first lady Michelle Obama gave in 2008 at the Democratic National Convention.

Speaking at a Bloomberg Politics breakfast on the sidelines of the Republican National Convention in Cleveland, Priebus said he doesn’t blame Melania Trump.

“Some of these things are pretty common types of themes,” he said, describing her speech as “inspirational” and calling the flap a “distraction” -- while predicting they’d get “back to action this afternoon.”

But he said he’d probably fire the speechwriter.

But nope! In typical republican fasahion, let’s *NOT* fire the moronic speechwriter and instead let’s blame it on Hillary Clinton!

CLEVELAND — Donald Trump's campaign denied that Melania Trump intentionally plagiarized first lady Michelle Obama in a Monday night speech and claimed that the media and Hillary Clinton supporters are pushing the flap that roiled the Republican convention on Tuesday.

"There is a political tint to this whole issue," campaign manager Paul Manafort told reporters, declining to comment in detail as to how Mrs. Trump's speech was put together and indicating that the campaign did not plan to fire anyone over the incident.

Other Republicans expressed concern about the incident that marred the convention's opening night and suggested that consequences are in order. Ex-Trump campaign manager Corey Lewandowski said Mrs. Trump's speechwriter should be fired, telling CNN: "I know what it's like to be fired by the Trump campaign."

But here’s my favorite part of this – teachers are now using this as a way to teach plagiarism to their students:

Teachers and academics in the UK and the US have taken to Twitter to thank Donald Trump's wife for providing the perfect material to teach their students what plagiarism is and why it is wrong.

Melania Trump's speech at the Republican National Convention has notable similarities with a speech given by current first lady Michelle Obama in 2008.

Brad Francis, an English teacher at Davis Middle School in Evanston, Wyoming tweeted that he was "'jazzed" to have a "perfect video to teach my 8th graders students about plagiarism".

"Melania's speech is probably the most blatant example that I have ever seen. Eighth grade students need very literal examples, and her speech is basically verbatim to Michelle Obama's. It will help them learn absolutely what not to do in their writing," he told BBC News.

The most blatant example they’ve ever seen. Bravo! Well done!

But the question on the table isn’t necessarily did Mrs. Trump plagiarize Michelle Obama? No she Rick Rolled us!

If, somehow, you’ve used the internet and managed to escape the simultaneous torture and pleasure that is a good Rickroll, allow us to explain and kill the joke: You link a friend to something they actually want to read — but the link takes them to the YouTube page for Rick Astley’s “Never Gonna Give You Up” music video. Or you splice some clip from it into another video, or you call your friend and whisper the lyrics into the phone, and so on and so forth. Or, if you’re Melania Trump, you just wedge a few choice Astley lyrics into your big speech: “He will never, ever give you up. And, most importantly, he will never, ever let you down.”

Of course, Trump probably didn’t know she was quoting one of the most famed artists of the 21st century. (Just like she didn’t know she was quoting Michelle Obama.) Either way, that didn’t stop the internet train from chugging along and turning Trump’s speech into a true Rickroll video. Enjoy spending the rest of the day with 1987’s most annoying tune stuck in your brain.

And of course there’s a remix of it crossed with Rick Astley’s “Never Gonna Give You Up”:

Oh snap!!!!!!!!!!!

Mike Pence

Now it’s time for another installment of “People Who Somehow Got Elected”. Hit it!

This week in “People Who Somehow Got Elected”, Indiana Governor and possible future vice presidential candidate Mike Pence. So in order to do this week’s entry we must first go back to 1999 when he railed on Disney with some Alex Jones level conspiracy theories about Disney’s then hit film Mulan:

Indiana Gov. Mike Pence (R), Donald Trump’s newly introduced running mate, is so extreme in his culture-war views that it’s hard to know where to start. His outrageous anti-LGBT views? His radical opposition to reproductive rights? The Republican’s rejection of climate science and evolution?

Perhaps the easiest way to capture Pence’s views on social issues is to consider this BuzzFeed report.

When Donald Trump’s running mate Mike Pence was a talk radio show host in Indiana, he wrote an op-ed declaring the film Mulan was an attempt by some “mischievous liberal” at Disney to influence the debate over women in the military.

The 1999 op-ed ran on a website for Pence’s radio program that was uncovered by BuzzFeed News.

“Despite her delicate features and voice, Disney expects us to believe that Mulan’s ingenuity and courage were enough to carry her to military success on an equal basis with her cloddish cohorts,” Pence wrote. “Obviously, this is Walt Disney’s attempt to add childhood expectation to the cultural debate over the role of women in the military.”

That’s right – Mike Pence once claimed that Disney’s Mulan is a propaganda film. But how batshit crazy is Mike Pence? Why in 1990 he got caught using campaign finances to pay for his own mortgage. Sounds like he’s a good fit for Donald Trump:

Campaign finance records from the 1990 effort showed that Pence, then 31, had been using political donations to pay the mortgage on his house, his personal credit card bill, groceries, golf tournament fees and car payments for his wife.

The spending had not been illegal at the time. But it stunned voters — and undermined Pence’s strategy to portray the incumbent, Rep. Philip R. Sharp, as tainted by donations from special-interest political action committees".

Surely that's not the most horrible thing that Mike Pence has done right? Well how about his record on LGBT rights? He signed one of the harshest anti-LGBT bills in the entire country - even before North Carolina made the bathroom police famous.

Mike Pence won’t say whether he believes it’s OK to discriminate against LGBT people. The Indiana governor was repeatedly asked about his stance on the issue during a 2015 interview with ABC’s George Stephanopoulos on “This Week.” Stephanopoulos posed the question eight times. Pence wouldn’t say. More recently, he was asked the question during a town hall on February 11. “In a simple yes or no answer, do you believe that gay and transgender people should be able to be fired from their jobs just for that reason?” an audience member inquired.

He offered yet another trademark non-answer. “It’s a great privilege for me to be your governor,” Pence said, adding that he “will not support legislation that diminishes religious freedom.”

Yes - Mike Pence is a firm believer in the concept of "religious freedom" - laws that have absolutely nothing to do with "religion" or "freedom" but everything to do with harassment and bigotry. There's more - he doesn't even have a 50% approval rating in his home state of Indiana, and Indiana is right next to Ohio - a key swing state:

Donald Trump has, begrudgingly, made his V.P. pick official. Much to my disappointment, it didn’t come about through an episode of The Apprentice: Vice President Edition featuring Dennis Rodman and Gary Busey fighting over the geopolitical implications of the Turkish military’s failed coup while seeing who can sell the most Nathan’s Red Hots during the lunch rush.

No, instead, the sacrificial lamb offered up to stabilize Trump’s campaign was Indiana Governor and Just for Men ‘before’ picture, Mike Pence. At first blush, the humdrum Hoosier appears to have been picked to act as counterweight to Mr. Trump’s unpredictable, firebrand style of oratory. In temperament, the two men are polar opposites, Trump’s brain controlled as it is by a magic eight ball of racism, misogyny, and egomania, whereas Pence’s personality is so bland and uninteresting that instant oatmeal stopped texting him back.

In fact take a look at his voting record - by taking the Donald Trump nomination he becomes the most far right candidate in US history. Bravo! Well done!

Rated 0% by NARAL, indicating a pro-life voting record. (Dec 2003)
Rated 100% by the NRLC, indicating a pro-life stance. (Dec 2006)
Rated 7% by the ACLU, indicating an anti-civil rights voting record. (Dec 2002)
Rated 0% by the HRC, indicating an anti-gay-rights stance. (Dec 2006)
Rated 22% by the NAACP, indicating an anti-affirmative-action stance. (Dec 2006)
Rated 14% by UFCW, indicating a pro-management voting record. (May 2012)
Rated 17% by the NEA, indicating anti-public education votes. (Dec 2003)

That's pretty low. That's Mike Pence, another one of the:

Police V. BLM

There’s going to be a trigger warning for this next entry. If you want to skip over to number 8, I will let you do so. Go! I’ll even give you some intermission music.

OK now that you’ve chosen to stick with us, we got to talk about the shit storm that went down in Baton Rouge over the weekend. So not even after a week after the police officers in Dallas were laid to rest, more shit went down in Baton Rouge over the weekend. 3 officers were shot by protestors. 3. Again same shit different day. And I won’t use any funny memes or video clips for this entry. So what happened?

Three police officers were shot dead and several others injured after a man dressed in black carrying an assault rifle opened fire in Baton Route, Louisiana.

The incident happened near the Old Hammond area in Baton Rouge.

"One suspect is dead, law enforcement believes two others may be at large," the East Baton Rouge Sheriff's Office said.

So we know that much, so who was this guy? Apparently he was what is known as a “soverign citizen” and can apparently do whatever he damn well pleases.

Long, who served five years in the U.S. Marines and about six months in Iraq, posted YouTube videos and social media tips about achieving “complete and full masculinity,” and he shared the anti-government views of the loosely organized sovereign citizen movement.

“This group believes that they are indigenous to the continent and therefore above all federal, state and local laws,” said author J.J. MacNab, an expert on anti-government extremists and a fellow at George Washington University’s Center for Cyber and Homeland Security. “(Those) documents show Long’s attempt to separate his flesh and blood ‘indigenous’ self from his legal entity self.”

So we have an ex marine with an anti-government complex who is looking to take his frustrations out on the police. Sounds almost exactly like Dallas where the killer was an ex marine with an anti-government complex who was taking his frustrations out on law enforcement. But here’s how the SPLC defines a “sovereign citizen”:

The movement is rooted in racism and anti-Semitism, though most sovereigns, many of whom are African American, are unaware of their beliefs' origins. In the early 1980s, the sovereign citizens movement mostly attracted white supremacists and anti-Semites, mainly because sovereign theories originated in groups that saw Jews as working behind the scenes to manipulate financial institutions and control the government. Most early sovereigns, and some of those who are still on the scene, believed that being white was a prerequisite to becoming a sovereign citizen. They argued that the 14th Amendment to the Constitution, which guaranteed citizenship to African Americans and everyone else born on U.S. soil, also made black Americans permanently subject to federal and state governments, unlike themselves.


But no racism isn’t a problem in America! Just look at what viral Youtube star and noted Christian terrorist Joshua Feuerstein is proposing. I mean if he were to go through with this, it would be grade A 100% pure terrorism. But now it's 100% grade A bullshit:

Viral evangelist Josh Feuerstein, known for starting the Starbucks cup controversy, urging Christians to arm themselves against gay rights advocates and to “punish Planned Parenthood” and make its employees “fear for their lives,” is once again advocating violence to his millions of followers.

In a video posted to his Facebook page this Sunday, Feuerstein references the Dallas and Baton Rouge cop killings and seemingly calls out the Black Lives Matter movement.

“Look, I’m calling on every American citizen — I love Jesus… I’m a preacher, but you know what?”

Josh then brandishes his handgun which he says is loaded with “20 rounds of pure brutality.”

“Look, I may love Jesus, but if I see you pull a gun on an officer — you want to know whose side I’m on? That’s right, I”m gonna fill you with 60 rounds of pure lead.”

I mean Fox News and Chris Matthews are both clamoring for a race war, but in reality they have as much power of starting a war as Cartman does! But this is how racism isn’t dead in America.

You can live stream the Republican National Convention on the RNC’s official YouTube page, but you can’t chat about it live anymore.

Why, you ask? Because the Republicans have now disabled the live chat window on the page after it got overrun by anti-Semitic Trump supporters.

As former Hawaii Gov. Linda Lingle gave a speech promoting inroads that Republicans have made with Jewish voters, as well as ripping the Democrats for allegedly being more hostile to Israel, Trump’s alt-right followers flooded the page with anti-Semitic vitriol.

Among other things, the Trump fans wrote “Press H for Hitler,” “JOOS,” “BAN JEWS,” “OY GEVALT,” and “KIKE.”

Some screen caps follow below:

That’s right – the hate and racism was so prevalent that the RNC had to take down their chat room after not even a day. So what does this have to do with BLM? Well BLM were more classy than the RNC ever is, was, or will be.

WICHITA – What was originally planned as a protest march turned into a cookout where Wichita police and a diverse group of residents broke bread together.

The Wichita Eagle reports that organizers of the protest met with Police Chief Gordon Ramsay for several hours, ending with an agreement for the cookout, which took place Sunday at a city park. Several Wichita police officers took part.

Black Lives Matter protesters had planned to march on Sunday, but after organizers met with Chief Ramsay for hours, according to the protesters, they agreed to break bread together instead.

The goal was to open communication and build trust between police and the communities they serve. The crowd at the cookout included people who were white, black and Hispanic.

Paul Ryan

Well I’m absolutely shocked, shocked I tell you, at this next entry. So Paul Ryan fails at the basic rule of social media – and that is that even if you’re unintentionally racist, people are going to figure it out. Did I say unintentionally? I meant at even the slightest hint that you’re a racist, social media is going to figure it out. Well of course it happened when Paul Ryan sent out this Tweet of the 2016 class of Congressional interns:

He thought was a harmless selfie with some of Capitol Hill’s interns.

The caption on the Instagram post read: “I think this sets a record for the most number of #CapitolHill interns in a single selfie. #SpeakerSelfie.”

What he failed to recognize was the overwhelming lack of diversity in the picture, symbolic of the overall lack of diversity among staffers in America’s capital.

Let’s throw that picture up there shall we?

There’s something about that picture that I can’t quite put my finger on. What could that be, I wonder?

The Republican party apparently thinks of diversity the same way Ron Burgundy does:

GOP House Speaker Paul Ryan loves to pretend that the GOP doesn’t have a race problem. The 2012 autopsy report from the spectacular loss of the Romney/Ryan ticket to President Obama and Vice President Biden had a lot of so-called “minority outreach” goals. Clearly, none of those goals have been accomplished. After all, the current GOP standard-bearer, Donald Trump, has run a campaign that is steeped in racism. He kicked off his campaign by calling Mexican immigrants rapists and criminals, he has called for a ban on all Muslims entering the United States, has called women fat pigs and dogs, and accused Fox host and debate moderator Megyn Kelly of being menstrual when called out on this, and a whole host of other things that play to the bigotry that is so inherent in the current incarnation of the GOP.

All of that aside though, there is one very telling photo making the rounds on the internet that perfectly illustrates just how, well WHITE the Republican Party is, despite the wide range of diversity that makes up the actual country. It’s a priceless selfie of Paul Ryan showcasing himself with bunches of young republicans, and you won’t see one face of color in that grand sea of white. For your viewing pleasure (or disgust) here is the tweet of that photo:

Random Acts Of Stupidity

Time for more *cue reverb* Random Acts Of Stupidity!! So there was so much conservative idiocy this week that was not just limited to Cleveland so we’ll post a couple of choice stories here. For instance did you know that Ryan Bundy attempted to break out of prison and got caught?

Federal prosecutors said Monday that Ryan Bundy tore his bed sheets and braided them together into 12–15 feet of rope in an attempt to escape Multnomah County Jail.

Bundy is at the jail awaiting trial for his role in the Malheur National Wildlife Refuge occupation earlier this year.

Speaking during a pretrial hearing in Portland, prosecutors said jail staff found the braided rope during a search of Bundy’s cell on April 8. Federal attorneys also said Bundy had stored a container of extra food in his cell.

Bundy denied that he had any plans to escape the jail, calling himself “a rancher trying to practice braiding rope.”

Read more: http://www.opb.org/news/series/burns-oregon-standoff-bundy-militia-news-updates/malheur-ryan-bundy-alleged-jail-escape-foiled/

Or that Josh Duggar attempted to justify his venture into child molestation by claiming “The devil made him do it?”

Josh Duggar will not apologize for sexually abusing his underage sisters.

According to new reports Duggar will be returning to reality TV after completing a Christian “faith-based” rehabilitation program for sexual addiction earlier this year. Duggar entered the program after publicly admitting to molesting underage girls, including four of his sisters, as well as adultery and a pornography addiction....

The source goes on to explain that while Duggar will discuss sexually abusing his underage sisters as well as his marital infidelities and pornography addiction, he will not apologize for his actions, because the devil made him do it:
Josh will cover everything and he will maintain the family line that god has saved his soul and guided him back to the right path. But one thing you probably won’t hear is that he’s actually sorry, as he believes that external forces were to blame for his behavior.

Bottom line: When Josh blames “external forces” for his crimes, that’s code for “the devil made him do it.”

Who is this guy? Is he Bart Simpson now? Or is he listening to way too much heavy metal?

And Roger Ailes got fired from Fox News for allegations of sexual harassment *AFTER* Gretchen Carlson *AND* Megyn Kelly filed formal complaints:

Roger Ailes, who transformed Fox News Channel from a start-up into one of the nation’s most influential news organizations in under two decades, is leaving the 21st Century Fox-owned cable outlet in the wake of a bevy of sexual-harassment allegations leveled at him, according to a person familiar with the situation.

Spokespeople for both the network and the parent company were not available for immediate comment. An official announcement was said to be imminent, this person said.

Pokemon Go Becomes Self Aware

We need some appropriate theme music for this entry. Hit it!

So you know last week we had this entry for the number 9 (NEIN!) spot this week but there’s a lot of insanity surrounding the most popular app of all time. There’s everything from stabbings to armed robbery to dead bodies being found to insane things happening in Times Square to cemeteries being desecrated. All so people can catch ‘em all. And one guy is going so far out of his way to be a douche that he wanted to play this game *AFTER* being arraigned for securities fraud. Bet you didn’t think it was going to be him, did you? And you think you’re so smart!

Martin Shkreli, the pharmaceutical boss dubbed “the world’s most hated man” after he increased the price of a HIV-related drug by 5,000%, was on Thursday told he will face trial for fraud.

As he walked out of court , Shkreli had something more pressing on his mind. He asked his lawyer: “Can I play Pokémon Go now?” according to a New York Post reporter who overheard the question.

Shkreli, who hit the headlines last year after he hiked the price a life-saving drug often given to people with HIV or cancer from $13.50 to $750 a pill, is accused of defrauding investors in hedge funds he ran.

Wow, what a douchebag. Just walking out of the fucking court he wants to play Pokemon Go.

But what else happened? Well there was a guy who was wanted playing the game outside a police station!

A Pokemon Go player who was trying to catch ‘em all ended up getting caught by police.

William Wilcox was arrested Thursday morning for an outstanding arrest warrant after police in Milford, Michigan, saw him playing Pokemon Go outside of the station, which is also a Pokemon gym.

“He made our job much easier for us that day,” Milford Police Chief Thomas Lindberg told Fox2Detroit.com.

I think the funnier part of this is that the police chief said “I think he was more upset that he had to stop playing the game.”

And Pokemon Go is becoming self aware by luring kids to a home where registered sex offenders live:

SAN LUIS OBISPO, Calif. -- The addictive cellphone game "Pokemon Go" has led people to unlikely places to collect digital monsters - including the gates of a central California ranch that houses alcoholics and sex offenders.

The location-based game has a "Pokestop" at the outdoor sign for Sunny Acres, a 72-acre ranch in San Luis Obispo that includes a sober-living facility where 35 people live, KSBY-TV reported Tuesday.

"We have some criminals, we have some alcoholics, we have drug addicts, we have mentally ill, there are some sex offenders, yes," Sunny Acres founder Dan De Vaul told the station.

And then there’s this guy who was stabbed and rather than, I don’t know, go to a fucking hospital, decides to continue playing the game!!!

FOREST GROVE, Ore. - For one man, the ability to play the new Pokémon Go game was a matter of life and death.

Michael Baker of Forest Grove, Ore. was so focused on catching all the characters in the game that he kept playing even after he was stabbed.

You can read that again.

Baker continued to play the popular game even after a knife punctured his body.

I like that one. Or how about the woman who caught her boyfriend cheating when he was playing Pokemon Go outside her house?

People’s addiction to Pokémon Go knows no bounds, from the man playing during his wife’s labour to the people unable to stop catching the little creatures even when in a Holocaust museum. But one man’s addiction to the game has resulted in the end of his relationship – because he was caught cheating.

For the uninitiated, Pokémon Go is an augmented reality smartphone game that allows users to catch the characters in the real-world. Due to the game’s GPS tracking it is possible to see the characters in your immediate real-world surroundings and record the places where they are caught.

But could Pokemon Go be the catalyst for world peace? In fact in Korea it’s causing a rush for the North Korean – South Korean border:

5. Several South Korean rushing to the North Korean border
A remote North Korean village, Sokcho has been hosting a rather unusual number of South Korean guests who do not mind going that extra mile (or several extra miles) to catch some Pokemons.

As per Reuters, "Due to government restrictions on maps data, it's impossible for Pokemon Go to work properly using Google Maps service in South Korea," which is exactly its residents are flocking to the North Korean town.

Even North Korea’s glorious dictator Kim Jong Un has apparently caught the Pokemon Go bug:

A whirlwind of memes and jokes about "Pokemon Go" are spiraling here because Nintendo's location-based hunting game is known to be available in North Korea.

Memes include North Korea's young leader, Kim Jong-un, ordering his cyberforces to distribute rare pokemons in northern parts of the inter-Korean border so game-addicted South Koreans will cross the heavily armed demarcation line to catch them.

They also include Kim pointing at a huge pink fish, with the quote: "Just caught Magikarp," a game character.

See you next week!

Ed. Note: The Top 10 Conservative Idiots - every Wednesday at 10:00 AM PST. Also please join our Twitter feed at @DUInitechTop10, and join the fight, won’t you?

Mike Pence Once Claimed Disney's "Mulan" Is Propaganda Film

Not. The. Onion.

Indiana Gov. Mike Pence (R), Donald Trump’s newly introduced running mate, is so extreme in his culture-war views that it’s hard to know where to start. His outrageous anti-LGBT views? His radical opposition to reproductive rights? The Republican’s rejection of climate science and evolution?

Perhaps the easiest way to capture Pence’s views on social issues is to consider this BuzzFeed report.

When Donald Trump’s running mate Mike Pence was a talk radio show host in Indiana, he wrote an op-ed declaring the film Mulan was an attempt by some “mischievous liberal” at Disney to influence the debate over women in the military.

The 1999 op-ed ran on a website for Pence’s radio program that was uncovered by BuzzFeed News.

“Despite her delicate features and voice, Disney expects us to believe that Mulan’s ingenuity and courage were enough to carry her to military success on an equal basis with her cloddish cohorts,” Pence wrote. “Obviously, this is Walt Disney’s attempt to add childhood expectation to the cultural debate over the role of women in the military.”

How did this guy get elected? Much less chosen as a possible Vice President of the US?

Bill Maher Slams The Idea Of 24/7 Employment

Bernie Sanders Supporters Are Having A "Fart-In" Protest During The DNC


Bernie Sanders's endorsement of Hillary Clinton on Tuesday isn’t stopping his supporters' plans to hold a “fart-in” at the Democratic National Convention (DNC) later this month.

The unusual political strategy will have Sanders delegates consuming a lot of beans before heading to Philadelphia later this month, according to US News and World Report.

Protest organizer Cheri Honkala, national coordinator for the Poor People's Economic Human Rights Campaign, has been stocking up on boxes of dry beans and canned beans.

The plan is for delegates to chow down, then let presumptive Democratic nominee Hillary Clinton smell what they think of her.

"The fart-in is to raise attention about things that really stink in our society,” said Dr. Walter Tsou, of the Philadelphia branch of Physicians for Social Responsibility.


Top 10 Conservative Idiots #35: Wheel O’Corruption VI: Out Of The Shadows Edition

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #35: Wheel O’Corruption VI: Out Of The Shadows Edition

Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! So we’re doing double duty this week and next week with Sunday and Wednesday editions for the RNC, which as Bill Maher called it a “category 5 shit storm” and if the protestors in Cleveland get their way, it most likely will be. So these have been some really shitty times we are living in. You know ever since Sandy Hook we’ve had just one shitty event after another shitty event. You know since I’ve been covering these, we’ve had San Bernardino, we’ve had the Planned Parenthood attack in Colorado, the massacre at the Eagles of Death Metal concert in Paris, the massacre in Orlando, and now the massacre in Dallas. So yeah… like I said, complete shit storm. Let’s try and make light of these events shall we? But first John Oliver is off on a ridiculously long absence and while he was off, he posted this video in which he talks about the scourge of the internet: YouTube Comments:

So where do we begin this week? With all the shitty news lately, we’re going to dust off the Wheel O’Corruption which has been laying dormant for a while. You know the Dallas shooting has been the most recent in a long, long ridiculously long list of mass shootings in the last 4 years. So we are going to recap all the events in the first two entries while the second will talk about what went down at the memorial – how a president should handle it, and of course how a former president should not. In the number 3 slot, that is being dedicated Republican Empathy (3) which came out in droves during the Dallas memorial. And no one was more empathetic than Rudy Giuliani and Texas Lt. Governor Dan Patrick. The fourth slot, Chik-Fil-A (4) came out with tribute to the Dallas PD that’s almost as in poor taste as their sandwiches are. In the fifth slot, our returning champion Donald J. Trump (5, 6) takes up not just the fifth slot but also the sixth slot. In the fifth slot, Donald Trump champions himself as the “law and order candidate”, while the sixth slot will talk about what Bernie supporters are in for if they vote for Trump over Hillary. In the 7th slot is the Bathroom Police (7). So with the GOP convention now just a mere week away, the GOP has laid out their platform – and it does *NOT* favor the LGBT community, though surprisingly they are becoming more and more lax on marriage. Taking slot #8 this week, we’re going down the worm hole on the Fox News (8) scandal involving Roger Ailes that we talked about last edition. In the number 9 slot (NEIN!!!), by now you’ve heard of Nintendo’s insanely popular new app Pokemon Go. And when something becomes that popular people are going to toy with it. But no one whined as much about it as the Westboro Baptist Church (9), yes, *THAT* Westboro Baptist Church. So we will tell you what went down when their attempt to fight trolls hilariously backfired on them. Finally this week – we’re going to talk about a controversy in the movie world. Specifically Star Trek. Do you guys and gals like Star Trek? I know I do! Well the third film in the rebooted series, Star Trek: Beyond, drops this next weekend, and writer Simon Pegg has dropped a bombshell that Sulu will be revealed to be the first openly gay character in the entire series. But not everyone is happy about that including Sulu himself, the great George Takei. And in his words – OH MY!!!!!!!!!!!! Enjoy! And as always don’t forget the key!

Dallas Shooting Recap

Come on everybody say it with me – it’s time for the: WHEEL OF CORRUPTION!!!!!

And of course if we had a bigger budget we’d have our own graphics and theme music. The wheel is back everybody!! And yes just like last time I’ll talk about whatever the wheel lands on. But remember that if it lands on the Guacamole option that it costs $1.50 extra. So this week the items on the wheel will be:
- Gun Nuts
- Donald Trump
- Go Directly To Jail
- Clip Without Context
- Guacamole
- 5,000
- Poison
- Farting
- Promotional Items
- Bankrupt
- Satan
- Buy A Vowel
- Pokemon
- Food
- Whammy
- A Recent Study
- Good Guys With Guns
- Guns
- VR Headset
- Inception Study
- Get Out Of Jail Free
- People Who Somehow Got Elected
- 10,000
- Celebrity Look Alikes
- Fox News
- Double Whammy
- 15,000
- Star Trek
- Party Unity
- Memorials
- Sex Scandals
- Racism
- Something random in the news
- ??? (Mystery)
- Florida (Obviously)
- Infowars
- Lightning Round
- Bonus Spin

So folks in light of some dark, deeply disturbing news this week we’re going to liven it up by bringing back the Wheel Of Corruption. Which is normally stored in an abandoned Nevada warehouse somewhere next to the Ark Of The Covenant.

So let’s get this going. Spin that shit! Come on no whammy no whammy no whammy no whammy stop!!! A recent study. People are we ever going to learn? There’s been five mass shootings since I started the Top 10. Five!!! FIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We had Planned Parenthood, San Bernardino, the Eagles Of Death Metal concert in Paris, Orlando, and now Dallas. Things are getting worse than ever when it comes to American gun control or a complete lack there of. So before we get into what’s going on in Dallas, let’s first divulge the details of a recent study.


Would it shock you to learn that the number of police who've been shot and killed in 2016 is up an astounding 59% from where it was this same date last year? Seventeen police officers have already been shot and killed in 2016, by mid-May. Only 10 had suffered that fate by May 10th, 2015.

The drastic increase shocked the hell out of me. While I primarily track, study and report the number of people killed by police, I still follow police fatalities closely. Contrary to popular belief, despising police brutality does not mean I despise police officers. I appreciate all public servants and have both a police officer and a longtime Secret Service member in my family. They are amazing, kind-hearted men who do great work. I also despise gun violence and loathe every single fatality suffered because of it.

Something's afoot, though, on why we're not hearing much about this shocking increase in the number of officers who've been shot and killed so far in 2016. Sadly, I think I have the answer.

So with that in mind let’s get into Dallas shall we?

One of the gunmen who opened fire on police in Dallas said he wanted to kill white police officers and expressed anger at a recent spate of shootings by police before he was killed, it was revealed Friday morning.

The suspect, who has not been named, was cornered for several hours by officers and was killed by an explosive device deployed by a police bomb robot after extensive negotiations failed, said Dallas police chief David Brown.

Brown told reporters at an early morning news conference that “The suspect said he was upset about Black Lives Matter,” during negotiations. “He said he was upset about the recent shootings, he was upset at white people. The suspect said he wanted to kill white people, especially white officers.”

So if you notice this was planned several months in advance by a crazy guy who should not have had access to firearms. Much like San Bernardino last year where the attack was planned several months in advance by a crazy guy who should not have had access to firearms. Or Orlando, where the the attack was planned several months in advance by a crazy guy who should not have had access to firearms. Hey I’m not seeing a pattern here!

So what else went down in Dallas? It was pretty much a gigantic cluster fuck that ended extremely poorly. So of course Dallas sent in the killer police robots:

For what experts are calling the first time in history, US police have used a robot in a show of lethal force. Early Friday morning, Dallas police used a bomb-disposal robot with an explosive device on its manipulator arm to kill a suspect after five police officers were murdered and seven others wounded.

“We saw no other option but to use our bomb robot and place a device on its extension for it to detonate where the suspect was,” Dallas police chief David Brown told reporters.

Peter Singer, a strategist and senior fellow at the New America Foundation who writes about the technology of warfare, said he believed this was a first. “There may be some story that comes along, but I’d think I’d have heard of it,” he said.

So you’ve got police bombs, tear gas, and now a “killer police robot”. Which is probably the first time in history this has ever happened. And that is something that you never want to be first for. Much like you never want to be the first person to get arrested for public urination, or you never want to be the first person to win a Rocky Mountain Oyster eating contest. That’s disgusting, John, quit showing us that medal! Put it away!

And of course Mike Huckabee immediately blames Obama for what went down in Dallas:


Friday on “Fox and Friends,” Governor Mike Huckabee of Arkansas said that he feels President Barack Obama should have reacted to the attacks on police officers in Dallas the same way that former president Ronald Reagan did in 1986 after the Challenger disaster. This is after Thursday evening’s sniper attacks that left five police officers dead and another seven injured.

The former presidential candidate responded to the question of what he would do in Obama’s place:
‘I think this is a time when real leaders bring people together. he doesn’t split them apart.’...

Oh, but the conservative Governor took issue with that statement and said:
‘He doesn’t need to inject the divisive arguments like gun control at a time of great grief for the nation. And he ought to do for us what Ronald Reagan did after the Challenger disaster. That’s remind us of what we have in common, not what separates us. And that’s why I’m always so frustrated. Barack Obama has such great potential to be a leader.

And yes there is tape of this:

Dallas Pt. 2: The Memorial

Spin it! Memorials. Folks we here at the Top 10 will never use our powers (or lack thereof) to speak ill of the dead, in any way shape or form. So this entry will discuss the memorial for the Dallas PD officers who lost their lives over the weekend, and we won’t use any funny memes, graphics or videos as a sign of respect. But somebody who did not show any sign of respect toward the fallen officers? I give you former president George W. Bush:


George W. and Laura Bush live in Dallas and thus have a close, personal connection to the horrific attacks that occurred last night which left five law enforcement officers dead and seven others wounded.

Bush released a statement this morning which, at first glance, looks pretty standard and innocuous. The former President and First Lady are “heartbroken by the heinous acts of violence. They “have seen firsthand the dedication, professionalism, and courage of the Dallas Police Department,” and of course they “pray for the wounded officers to recover fully and quickly.”

But here’s the phrase that caught my eye:
Murdering the innocent is always evil, never more so than when the lives taken belong to those who protect our families and communities.

Wait a minute – are you telling me the President and his wife witnessed the carnage first hand? Are you serious?

But what’s the aftermath of this? We’ve seen shooting after shooting after shooting after shooting after shooting. And nothing has changed. Not a god damned thing. Or will it? Here’s what one police department in Minneapolis said in response:

MINNEAPOLIS (AP) — In the wake of protests in Ferguson, Missouri, where authorities were criticized for what some called heavy-handed tactics against demonstrators, many departments took a more restrained approach.

Now, after the shooting deaths of five officers at a Dallas protest decrying last week's police killings of two more black men, some experts are suggesting it's possible the pendulum could swing from hugs back to flash-bang grenades and mass arrests.

After days of peaceful protests in St. Paul, officers in riot gear met protesters who blocked Interstate 94 late Saturday in the biggest confrontation between police and demonstrators since an officer fatally shot a black man during a suburban Twin Cities traffic stop last week. About 100 people were arrested — half during the highway standoff and the other half early Sunday in another part of St. Paul — and 21 St. Paul police officers and six state troopers were hurt. Police Chief Todd Axtell called the pelting of officers with rocks, bottles, firecrackers and other objects "a disgrace."

And what else went down at Dallas and at the memorial?

Nixon explained that he had to regain his humanity after the bullets started flying.

“You start to think it’s me against the world. And with that type of mentality, we’ll implode as a people,” he said. “We’ll implode not as ethnicity as a people, but as a people, period. We’re all one race at the end of the day. If we get a ‘me against the world’ mentality ― last night I was thinking, maybe it’s not black lives matter or all lives matter, maybe it’s just my life matters. Maybe it’s just my family’s life matters. I had to recover from that spiritually.”

“I had to be reminded that love conquers all,” he added. “If I let that mentality overwhelm me, then who can I help?”

Well said.

And here’s what else conservatives had to say about Dallas. Bet you didn’t think it was going to be him did you? :

VIRGINIA BEACH, Va. (AP) — Donald Trump said Monday he believes relations between police and the nation's African-American community are "far worse" than people think, predicting that protests against police violence that followed last week's slaying of five police officers in Dallas "might be just the beginning for this summer."

In an interview with The Associated Press, the presumptive GOP nominee struck a balance between the law-and-order rhetoric he has espoused during his campaign and an appreciation for the concerns held by African-Americans nationwide about the conduct of police. Trump suggested that a lack of training for officers might be at least partially to blame for the two police shootings that led to last Thursday's protest in Dallas, where a lone gunman killed five in an act of vengeance against white officers. At the same time,Trump denounced the name of the Black Lives Matter movement as "a very divisive term."

Really Trump? Says the guy who has no idea who David Duke is, besides the fact that the former KKK Grand Wizard has been head over heels in love with Trumpenfuror’s campaign?

Republican Empathy

Spin that shit! Come on no whammy no whammy no whammy no whammy stop! And it lands on Inception Study. So you know with all the uptick in violence lately, naturally people are going to study it to determine the cause and effect of said violence. So first let's show the Harvard Study On Police Violence:

This paper explores racial differences in police use of force. On non-lethal uses of force, blacks and Hispanics are more than fifty percent more likely to experience some form of force in interactions with police. Adding controls that account for important context and civilian behavior reduces, but cannot fully explain, these disparities. On the most extreme use of force – officer-involved shootings – we find no racial differences in either the raw data or when contextual factors are taken into account. We argue that the patterns in the data are consistent with a model in which police officers are utility maximizers, a fraction of which have a preference for discrimination, who incur relatively high expected costs of officer-involved shootings.

And then there's the New York Times critique of the Harvard Study On Police Violence:

A new study confirms that black men and women are treated differently in the hands of law enforcement. They are more likely to be touched, handcuffed, pushed to the ground or pepper-sprayed by a police officer, even after accounting for how, where and when they encounter the police.

But when it comes to the most lethal form of force — police shootings — the study finds no racial bias.

“It is the most surprising result of my career,” said Roland G. Fryer Jr., the author of the study and a professor of economics at Harvard. The study examined more than 1,000 shootings in 10 major police departments, in Texas, Florida and California.

And then there's the critique of the critique of the New York Times Study On Police Violence:

Today, amid nationwide protests over state violence against black people, The New York Times chose to publish an article headlined: “Surprising New Evidence Shows Bias in Police Use of Force but Not in Shootings.”
The article’s authors, Quoctrung Bui and Amanda Cox, quote Roland G. Fryer Jr., a Harvard economics professor and the study’s author, who says: “It is the most surprising result of my career.”
But once you look at the context of data cited by the Times, it’s not so much the “evidence” (contested here) that’s surprising, as the way the Times chooses to frame it. Here’s why.
Fryer is “not afraid of controversial questions.” It might be more accurate to say that he actively seeks out questions that could challenge conventional wisdom, given that his interests have included “considering the possibility” of genetically lower intelligence in black people than whites.

You know.... this is kind of like that movie Inception. It's a study within a study within a study within a study.

Spin it again! Empathy. You know that thing that republicans are world renowned for. So you know with the Dallas shooting comes that good old fashioned republican empathy that they're famous for. You know a "compassionate conservative" point of view. Kind of like when Gordon Ramsey screams at a contestant on Hell's Kitchen because he didn't cook the meat the correct way. You should have turned the fire to 7, not 8 you dumbass!! That is not how you cook chicken rangoon!!!!

(Ed. Note: BTW a good friend of mine was the one getting rejected on Hell's Kitchen in that clip... )

Lt. Gov. Dan Patrick called protesters who ran away from the hail of bullets that rained down on Downtown Dallas on Thursday night "hypocrites" during an interview Friday on Fox News.

"All those protesters last night, they turned around and ran the other way expecting the men and women in blue to protect them. What hypocrites!" an audibly emotional Patrick said.


Yeah because the first thing you want to do when protesting something is run *INTO* the gunfire.

But no one knows empathy for a tragedy better than former New York mayor Rudy Guiliani.

Former New York City Mayor Rudy Giuliani argued Sunday, in addressing the two shootings in which police officers shot and killed two black men, that black families should teach their children to "be respectful to the police."

Giuliani commented on the shootings in Dallas where five police officers were shot, and the deaths of Alton Sterling and Philando Castile during an appearance on CBS' "Face The Nation." He said his "deep sympathy" goes out to the families of the victims in those shootings.

Then, he argued that there was "too much" violence in the black community and that there were some black men and boys who feared being confronted by the police given the recent shootings.

"If you want to deal with this on the black side, you've got to teach your children to be respectful to the police and you've got to teach your children that the real danger to them is not the police, the real danger to them 99 out of 100 times, 9,900 out of 1,000 times are other black kids who are going to kill them," Giuliani said. "That's the way they're going to die."

Read more: http://talkingpointsmemo.com/livewire/giuliani-black-families-respect-police

So to trace Guiliani's "logic" (or lack thereof), African Americans need to be taught to support the police because of "too much violence" so therefore the way to avoid death or prison time is... supporting "the man"? What the fuck is he smoking? Or is he watching too much Reno 911?


Entering the spin zone!! And it lands on................ come on VR Headset.... Daddy wants an HTC Vive... wait for it.... Farting. Yes probably the most disgusting item on the wheel so far. And really Bernie supporters? Really??? Is this what we really need at the DNC this year? And who is this benefiting? Um........ nobody.

PHILADELPHIA - Some Bernie Sanders supporters are planning a protest that could be described as silent but non-violent.

A spokesperson for the Poor People's Economic Human Rights Campaign told U.S. News & World Report that her group is planning to stage a "fart-in" during Hillary Clinton's closing speech at the Democratic National Convention in Philadelphia this month.

Cheri Honkala and other outspoken Sanders fans told the publication that despite Sanders's endorsement of Clinton earlier this week, they still plan to protest the presumptive nominee's big moment in Philly.

So how exactly would a "fart-in" work?

Honkala said her group has gathered a "stockpile" of various types of beans that will be cooked and fed to delegates, journalists and others who will be inside the Wells Fargo Center during Clinton's nomination acceptance speech at the DNC.

They hope to stink up the arena in a move will act as a symbolic gesture of the group's displeasure over Clinton's nomination.

Silent but non violent... excuse me a minute!

Spin it again!! Food. And promotional items. With Dallas comes one of the more extremely poor taste and ill timed way of supporting the cops. See, Chik-Fil-A has had a long standing way of supporting pro-establishment policies. But this might be the weirdest promotion they have in their marketing arsenal:

ATLANTA, June 22, 2016 /PRNewswire/ -- Chick-fil-A® is issuing a cattle call! Mark your calendar for the 12th annual Cow Appreciation Day on Tuesday, July 12, 2016. On that day, Chick-fil-A restaurants nationwide will offer a free entrée to any customer who visits a restaurant dressed as a cow.
Adult customers who dress in any type of cow attire, whether it's head-to-hoof or sporting a cow-spotted accessory, will be rewarded with a free Chick-fil-A entrée of their choice, such as an Original Chicken Sandwich, Grilled Chicken Cool Wrap or Chick-fil-A Chicken Biscuit. Children can receive a free Kid's Meal for dressing in a cow costume. The Cow Appreciation Day celebration will last from store opening through 7 p.m. local time (check local store listings for individual store opening hours).

So this raises a lot of questions – like what grown adult puts on a fucking cow costume just for a free sandwich? You know that cow suit you bought costs $50 or more, so congratulations you just purchased the most expensive chicken sandwich ever! Bravo well done! I mean for that kind of money you could buy 25 of these for $2 a piece, and just look, they’re guaranteed awesomeness!!!

But you know who did show up to Chik-Fil-A in a cow costume? You might want to put a splash guard on your monitor because this is too fucking good!

Sierra is the Duggar family’s party planner, and she’s appeared in a few episodes of 19 Kids and Counting and Jill & Jessa: Counting On. She’s helped organize gender reveal parties, weddings, baby showers, and birthday parties. However, the Duggars aren’t partying at Chick-fil-A in the photo above. As Fox News reports, yesterday was Cow Appreciation Day at the fast food chain, meaning that customers who dressed up like cows could score free entrees. Josh and Anna Duggar’s cow costumes seemingly consist of nothing more than white T-shirts with black splotches painted on them.

It’s no secret that the Duggars are fans of Chick-fil-A. As E! News reports, Jill Duggar loves her Chick-fil-A so much that she believes that the restaurant will exist in heaven. However, chicken nuggets and Polynesian sauce weren’t enough to lure Josh Duggar out of hiding for last year’s Cow Appreciation Day fast food giveaway. As The Inquisitr reported, Josh was noticeably absent in a photo that showed a heavily pregnant Anna Duggar and their kids posing with a giant inflatable Chick-fil-A cow. Josh likely stayed home because he feared facing the public’s wrath; he had recently confessed to sexually molesting four of his younger sisters, so was getting tons of negative press at the time.

Read more at http://www.inquisitr.com/3303327/josh-duggar-resurfaces-at-chick-fil-a-dressed-like-a-cow-scores-free-food-with-other-family-members/#SdHb2OfI2LLdorUc.99

But getting back to Chik-Fil-A and their pro-establishment policies, here’s how one franchise tried to support the Dallas PD but failed miserably because this isn’t the first time that Chik-Fil-A employees spouted “Back The Blue” shirts.

The tension between the police and the Black Lives Matter movement is currently more intense than the line outside of a Chick-fil-A on opening day, but that isn’t stopping one location of the chain in Texas from taking a stance. According to The Blaze, recent photos show staff members at Chick-fil-A in Conroe, Texas sporting t-shirts that say “Back the Blue” under the Chick-fil-A logo.

Customers are also apparently sporting t-shirts with the phrase “Go Blue or Go Home” on it. First We Feast called the location where an employee, who wished to remain anonymous, confirmed that employees at the location were indeed wearing the shirts and have been “for a little while.”

Or was it really? So look at what happened when Snopes got a hold of this and a ton of similar articles:

WHAT'S TRUE: In 2015, high school employees at a single Chick-fil-A in Texas created their own "Back the Blue" shirts.

WHAT'S FALSE: Chick-fil-A has not voiced support for either movement in question; "back the blue" is not tantamount to "a bomb on Black Lives Matters"; the shirts were not created or distributed by a franchise (much less the company); the shirts had nothing to do with Black Lives Matter protests in July 2016.

Donald Trump

Spin it to win it! Something random in the news!

Newman’s computer, actually a megaprocessor, takes up a whole room in his house in Great Shelford.

“I spent around three hours a night working on it and I’ve had to take all the books and shelves and sofas out of my lounge,” he told SWNS. “I’m lucky because it’s quite a big lounge but I’ve had to put everything else in my spare room.” In total, it cost more than $51,000 over a five-year period. “I didn’t plan on spending at the start. It grew as time went by and I got a bit more ambitious,” he said.

He admits, “If I had a wife she’d probably have left me by now. ”What did he get for efforts? Not much. It’s a million times slower and has a million times less memory than a typical desktop, according to South West News Service. Oh, and you can only play Tetris on it.

But how many frames per second does it get on Counter Strike: Go? Or maybe he’s preparing for Tetris: The Movie.

Spin that shit again! Donald Trump. So Trumpenfuror provided what could quite possibly be the classiest response to the Dallas shooting yet:

During two separate discussions of Black Lives Matters protests on Tuesday, Donald Trump claimed that people have called for moments of silence for Micah Johnson, the gunman who killed five police officers in Dallas and injured nine others, without specifying who or where.

On an O’Reilly Factor segment filmed earlier in the day, Trump expressed disgust with the actions of the officers who shot Alton Sterling and Philando Castile and said it “could be” that police treat African-Americans differently, but criticized the Black Lives Matter movement as “dividing America.”

“I saw what they’ve said about police at various marches and rallies,” said Trump. “I’ve seen moments of silence called for for this horrible human being who shot the policemen.”

But this isn’t the only empathetic way Trumpenfuror has responded to the rally:

Republican Donald Trump presented himself as "the law-and-order candidate" with a compassionate heart on Monday, positioning himself as strong on security in response to a wave of anxiety among Americans after the Dallas police shootings. Trump's remarks in Virginia Beach, Virginia, showed how much the Dallas violence has shaken up the political conversation with both Trump, the presumptive Republican presidential nominee, and Democratic rival Hillary Clinton devoting time to the topic.

"We must maintain law and order at the highest level, or we will cease to have a country — 100 percent," Trump said. "I am the law-and-order candidate."

Trump's remarks about safety and security were added to a speech devoted to reforming the troubled Veterans Administration. He also presented himself as a compassionate candidate and mentioned the two episodes that preceded the Dallas shootings: the killing of two African-American men by police, one in Minnesota and the other in Louisiana. "But you can't have true compassion without providing safety to the citizens of our country," Trump said. "Every kid in American should be able to securely walk the streets of their own neighborhood without harm.

“I am the law and order candidate! Nobody makes better laws than I do! I make the best laws, I bribe the best law enforcement officers, I hire the best judges… nobody hires better judges than I do. Oh wait did I say bribe? I meant “hire!”.“

In fact even the New York Times called Trumpenfuror “volatile” and “hostile” in the wake of Dallas:

In the wake of Dallas, Donald Trump is getting pummeled by the press.

In the wake of James Comey, Hillary Clinton is getting thumbs down from a majority of voters.

And these dynamics are unfolding at a crucial stretch of the campaign: Trump must settle on a running mate in the next couple of days, while Clinton needs to pick a running mate by next week.

Let’s start with Trump. It’s true, according to my sources, that his campaign had a daylong debate on how to respond to the murder of five police officers in Dallas, and took the cautious route. Trump gave no interviews and limited himself to a few comments on Twitter and a 90-second Instagram video. “Prayers and condolences to all of the families who are so thoroughly devastated by the horrors we are all watching take place in our country,” Trump tweeted.

But oh no! According to recent inquiries, Trumpenfuror warns that it may be “just the beginning”:

"We are in a divided nation"

Presumptive Republican nominee Donald Trump on Monday warned that the U.S. is a “divided nation” where the relationship between police officers and African-American communities is “far worse” than many people believe.

Trump’s comments, made in an interview with the Associated Press, served as a direct contradiction to President Barack Obama’s assessment of tension and division in the country. Speaking after the deadly shooting of police officers in Dallas, Obama said Saturday that the U.S. is “not as divided as some have suggested,” and he rejected the idea that history is repeating itself when it comes to racial tension.

Well fucking duh!!! You’re running for president! Tell us something we don’t know already!

Donald Trump

Spin it to win it! And it lands on………………… Party Unity! You know folks in the tradition of Stephen Colbert’s “Hungry For Power Games” it is down to two. Bernie officially announced his support for Hillary Clinton’s campaign in the “if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em” kind of way:

Sen. Bernie Sanders (I-Vt.) has endorsed presumptive Democratic nominee Hillary Clinton for president.

“Secretary Clinton has won the Democratic nominating process, and I congratulate her for that,” Sanders said. “She will be the Democratic nominee for president and I intend to do everything I can to make certain she will be the next president of the United States.”

Sanders thanked those who voted for him during the Democratic primary ― especially the people of New Hampshire, where he got his first primary win, and his home state of Vermont. He also warned against presumptive Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump, arguing the business mogul would be bad for working families, calling Trump’s economic policies “reckless.”

See folks that’s how it should be done! Spin it again…. And it lands on…. Wait for it… Donald Trump! While Bernie is showing people how it should be done, you know who’s not showing you how it should be done? Donald Trump. So while I was a Bernie Sanders supporter as was most of my family for this campaign, well, I kind of feel sorry for Bernie Sanders supporters who are pledging to vote for Donald Trump. I love Jessica Williams on the Daily Show, and for her final outing before starting her new gig, she filed this report about this very subject:

Now I say that, oh fellow Bernie enthusiasts, because this is what you get if you switch party affiliation and vote for Trumpenfuror. Where’s the whambulence? :

Donald Trump chided Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg in a Tuesday interview with The New York Times after she gave multiple comments that were highly critical of his campaign.

“I think it’s highly inappropriate that a United States Supreme Court judge gets involved in a political campaign, frankly,” Trump told the Times by phone. “I think it’s a disgrace to the court and I think she should apologize to the court. I couldn’t believe it when I saw it.”

Ginsburg in recent days has ramped up her criticisms of Trump's campaign. She has said he's a "faker" who should release his tax returns, that she "can't imagine" a Trump presidency, and that "everything" would be up for grabs with him occupying the White House. Ginsburg's comments are unique in that a Supreme Court justice typically doesn't comment on presidential candidates during election season.

But what else is Trumpenfuror up to? Well his son may be just as full of shit as his father if not more so:

Last week, Eric Trump said that his own charitable foundation had received "hundreds of thousands of dollars" in personal donations from his father. But on Monday, Eric Trump said he could not name a single instance when Donald Trump had given such a gift.

"I’m sure there have been but without going back through 10 years, I wouldn’t remember check for check off the top of my head," Eric Trump wrote in an email message to The Washington Post.

Eric Trump made those comments in response to follow-up questions from The Post — which has been seeking evidence for Donald Trump's assertion that he has given generously, but privately, to charities in recent years.

The Bathroom Police

Let’s give the wheel a good strong spin shall we? And sweet! I win 15,000!!! Boom. Of what, we still don’t know what that is. Let’s spin it again. Buy A Vowel. OK I’ll buy an “O”. All right I got two. So I get a letter? How about a C? OK got one there. I’ll solve the puzzle. Top 10 Conservative Idiots. What? That’s wrong? What did I wager? 15,000? Nooooooooooo!!!!

Spin it again. Bathrooms. So the GOP recently rolled out their party platform prior to the convention. And I hate to break to my LGBT friends, and especially the T’s, this platform *DOES NOT* favor you in any way, shape or form. Let’s go through their platform line item by line item, shall we?

One of the most pressing issues for the party, according to a draft leaked to the New York Times, is the reversal of the Supreme Court decision that legalized same-sex marriage across the U.S. Previously, leaders called for a “marriage amendment” to the Constitution that would define marriage as the union of a man and a woman. Now, however, the party is demanding a “reversal whether through judicial reconsideration or a constitutional amendment returning control over marriage to the states.”

Now they’ve been chasing that one the way Wiley Coyote chases the Road Runner. They’re never going to catch it because the GOP has been losing the argument on gay marriage every single time. But they do it in hopes they might someday catch that delicious, delicious road runner.

Or how about education? Guess what the GOP is pushing for Bible-based education!

On the subject of religion, the delegates have reportedly included an amendment calling for the Bible to be taught in schools as part of “American history.” Maybe the Garden of Eden really is in Missouri, after all?

But here’s where the bathroom police come in, and they’re getting really scary out there.

Because the 1950s, the time when this battle was fought and lost already, were cool, so why not relive the glory?

GOP leaders also lent their support to the idea of conversion therapy, the notorious practice that sends LGBTQ children to “therapists” who try to “convert” them back into being straight. Mental health experts and human rights groups are almost universally opposed to conversion therapy.

Gee, what a surprise they would resort to conversion therapy? I mean remember that episode of South Park where Butters gets sent to a gay – straight rehab camp?

And here’s where the trans bashing comes in:

Bathroom choice

The Obama administration's rule advising schools to allow students to use the bathroom of their gender identity was condemned as "illegal and dangerous" and "alien to America's history and traditions."

Never mind that a court rejected a school’s request to force a female – male trans student to use the girl’s bathroom:

A federal appeals court has denied a Virginia school board's request to allow it to prevent a transgender teen from using the boys' bathroom when he returns to school this September.

The Gloucester County School Board wants to delay an order forcing it to let Gavin Grimm to use the restroom matching his gender identity while it appeals. .

But oh no, this might be the weirdest thing to come out of the GOP platform for the 2016 election:


"The internet must not become a safe haven for predators. Pornography, with its harmful effects, especially on children, has become a public health crisis that is destroying the life of millions. We encourage states to continue to fight this public menace and pledge our commitment to children's safety and well-being. We applaud the social networking sites that bar sex offenders from participation. We urge energetic prosecution of child pornography which closely linked to human trafficking."

Yup! They really hate them some porno, don’t they?

And of course for every time the bathroom police feel they need to harass trans people, like I have shown, I will always respond to their insanity by posting an actual sex crime committed by the uber-religious, and they did not leave me a shortage of material this week. And yes this is the guy who founded America’s border patrol wannabe gun slingers:

Co-founder of Minuteman vigilante group gets 19-year prison sentence for child molestation

The co-founder of the vigilante border patrol group known as the Minuteman Civil Defense Corps was sentenced on Monday to 19 1/2 years in an Arizona prison for molesting a five-year-old girl who was the friend of his daughter, prosecutors said.

Christopher Allen Simcox, 55, who helped form the Minuteman militia group in 2005, received the sentence following a hearing in Maricopa County Superior Court in Phoenix stemming from his contact with the girl between April 2012 and May 2013. ....

Authorities said he molested the girl during parental visits with one of his daughters and showed the victim pornographic movies.

Fox News

Spin it to win it! What? Go directly to jail? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! And I don’t have a Get Out Of Jali Free card either!

So I have to give this entry from a jail cell. So I’ll just show John Oliver’s rant about for profit prisons:

I’m out. Spin it again! Fox News. You know speaking of the Republicans and sex crimes, Fox News has been on Defcon 5 the last week in the wake of Gretchen Carlson’s exit. In fact when she filed suit against Roger Ailes, the network that is the replacement for critical thought among the average republican has gone into overdrive. Let’s recap first and then discuss in further detail:

Former Fox News host Gretchen Carlson filed a lawsuit Wednesday against the network's CEO Roger Ailes, alleging he fired her because she refused his sexual advances. The host of The Real Story was reportedly terminated on June 23, the final day of her contract, and she claims she was the victim of sexual harassment and retaliation for rebuffing his advances as well as questioning unequal treatment of women in the Fox News workplace.


Holy shit! You know last week we discussed how Roger Ailes is the Zapp Branagin of TV News journalists. I seriously think he might be more Bill Cosby after reading this:

Attorneys for former Fox News host Gretchen Carlson were contacted by 10 women in the wake of their lawsuit against the network’s CEO, Roger Ailes, CNN’s Brian Stelter reported on Wednesday afternoon.

“I just spoke with one of the attorneys involved in Carlson’s suit,” Stelter said in video posted by Media Matters, adding that the women reached out “because they say they also have stories to share about treatment by Roger Ailes.”

Stelter did point out that the women have not joined the lawsuit filed by Carlson on Wednesday.

Carlson said in her lawsuit that she was fired in response to both denying Ailes’ sexual overtures and objecting to what she called “severe and pervasive harassment” during her 11-year career working for the conservative news network. Stelter pointed out that neither Fox nor Ailes have commented on the suit, and that the network has not covered Carlson’s allegations.

10 different women! Is Roger Ailes a professional playboy who gets around or is he a creepy pervert? But now 6 more women have come forward against Ailes:

"You know if you want to play with the big boys, you have to lay with the big boys.”

Those were the words one woman, a former Republican National Committee field adviser, claims Fox News head Roger Ailes used on her one night in 1989 as she was attempting to land a contract with the RNC, reports New York magazine.

Like the case of Bill Cosby, sexual harassment allegations are beginning to flood in after one victim — former Fox host Gretchen Carlson — filed a sexual harassment lawsuit this week against the powerful conservative news executive.

According to Gabriel Sherman, who wrote a biography on Ailes in 2014, allegations of highly inappropriate sexual banter by Ailes come as no surprise, dating back to the 60’s when he was a producer on The Mike Douglas Show.
Read more: http://www.rawstory.com/2016/07/6-more-women-accuse-fox-head-roger-ailes-of-sexual-harassment-including-one-who-was-16-at-the-time/

But now Carlson is accusing Fox News of continuous, verbal harassment! Holy shit! He really is Zapp Branagin!

“I just wanted to stand up for myself, first and foremost,” Carlson told The New York Times in a Tuesday interview at her lawyer Nancy Erika Smith’s New Jersey home. “And I wanted to stand up for other women who maybe faced similar circumstances.”

The former “Real Story” host stood by the allegations laid out in the lawsuit, claiming that Ailes made sexual advances towards her, oversaw a culture of sexual harassment at Fox News and fired her because she refused him and complained about her treatment at the network.

She told the Times that she kept quiet about the “continuous” offensive language she heard from Ailes because of the hierarchical structure of the network.

“Everyone knew how powerful Roger Ailes was,” she said. “I certainly felt intimidated by that.”

Read more: http://talkingpointsmemo.com/livewire/gretchen-carlson-says-roger-ailes-harassment-continuous

Are they taking cues from Family Guy?

Westboro Baptist Church

Spin that shit!!! And it lands on…. Come on no whammy no whammy no whammy stop!! Clip without context!

I’m still not tired of that!

Spin it again! And it lands on…………… Pokemon! Hit it!

So by now you’ve heard of Nintendo’s insanely popular new app Pokemon Go. This thing is insanely popular. I kind of wish I was a stock holder for Nintendo because it’s made the company something like $7 BILLION in profit. BILLION!! And it still has yet to be released in a lot of markets, so Nintendo could be even richer by the time this thing is rolled out world wide. So this thing has attracted a lot of attention – mostly positive, but also a lot negative. Like this:

Man's private home turned into Pokémon gym
Involuntarily, some people have seen their homes overtaken by Pokémon trainers.
Boon Sheridan, who lives with his family in an old church in Massachusetts, was surprised to find that his house has been marked as a Pokémon gym: A place where people can train their fictional creatures.

Or this:

Armed robbers used the game Pokémon Go to lure victims to an isolated trap in Missouri, police reported on Sunday.

At about 2am in O’Fallon, Missouri, officers responded to a robbery report that led them to four people, all local residents aged 16 to 18, in a black BMW in a CVS parking lot. The occupants tried to discard a handgun out of the car when an officer approached, said Sgt Bill Stringer. The officer then identified the four people as suspects of similar armed robberies described in St Louis and St Charles counties.

That’s right – you can have your homed turned into a Pokemon “gym” or you can be lured into an armed robbery and possibly murder.

But there’s no one out there more butthurt over the new Pokemon game than the Westboro Baptist Church. So let’s explain first before we crank up the whambulance:

If you haven’t noticed already, you’re about to. Suddenly everyone’s playing, Pokémon Go. Soon you’ll notice masses of people gathered in one spot, say a public park, holding their phones in the air. Pokémon Go is an app that demands its users collect Pokémon (short for pocket monsters) that are hanging out in real spots around the globe (in augmented reality).

In the game, certain locations are named as “gyms” where you can battle your Pokemon against another team’s Pokemon. The Westboro Baptist Church in Topeka, Kansas was designated as one such gym and a team has taken it over using a monster called a Clefairy. That Clefairy is named, appropriately, “LOVEISLOVE”.

That’s right – a pro LGBT group has trolled the Westboro Church. You know these people:

Yup. So now we can turn up the whambulance because here’s what they did this week in response to Pokemon Go:

The church responded to the stunt via Twitter, employing images from Pokémon to spread its anti-LGBTQ message.

“We recruited Jigglypuff to deal with the sodomite loveislove Clefairy for us,” the WBC tweeted.

Church elder Steve Drain told USA Today that the church uses whatever tools they can to get their message across – even if that instrument may be a false idol.

“We try to speak whatever language is being spoken,” Drain said.

“This little church, as despised and vilified as we are, the location of this church will be memorialised throughout eternity,” he added. “We’re willing by God’s grace to say that homosexuality is wrong, and that’s what we’ve been known for, even though we preach the whole counsel of God.”


Star Trek: The Search For Sulu's Sexual Orientation

Let’s spin the wheel one last time this week! And it lands on………………….. Star Trek! Hit it!

So by now you know that the latest film in the series – Star Trek Beyond beams into theaters on July 22nd. But with the new movie, news is coming fast and furious (ha!) after head screen writer & actor Simon Pegg, who portrays Montgomery Scott, revealed that U.S.S. Enterprise pilot Hikaru Sulu is actually gay, married, and has a daughter. So in order to juxatapose this argument I'm going to cross memes and clips from one of my favorite movies - Simon Pegg's amazing 2006 flick "Hot Fuzz" with some hilarious stuff from George Takei. Let’s discuss this:

It’s already been revealed that Hikaru Sulu will be shown as an out gay man in the upcoming Star Trek Beyond. But a new Korean trailer for the movie seems to give us a glimpse of the Enterprise helmsman’s husband and daughter.

As crowds of people run from an unknown threat, we see a quick shot of what reports are calling Sulu’s husband holding their young daughter. (The man is actually Beyond co-writer Doug Jung in a cameo role.)

Sulu’s daughter, Demora, has appeared as an adult in the film Star Trek Generations, so the scene could be bringing the Star Trek mythos full-circle.

George Takei, who played Sulu on the original TV series and subsequent films, said he was disappointed in the decision to have Sulu be gay because it wasn’t in line with creator Gene Roddenberry’s vision for the character.



So that happened. But not everyone is pleased with that including Sulu himself – the great George Takei. I actually went to a screening of Star Trek at the Hollywood Bowl last week with the LA Philharmonic playing the score, and Takei himself was in the audience. That was pretty cool. Oh my!!!

Simon Pegg has addressed speculation that he and original ‘Star Trek’ actor George Takei have had a falling out, over the sexuality of character Hikaru Sulu.

It was recently announced that in the upcoming film ‘Star Trek Beyond’, Sulu - played by George Takei in the original sci-fi series - would be coming out as gay.

However, George, who came out as gay in an interview with Frontier magazine in 2005, had a surprisingly displeased reaction to the news, calling it “unfortunate” and a “twist” to the sci-fi series’ creators’ original vision.

Simon - who was partly responsible for the decision, as one of the film’s co-writers - has now addressed George’s comments, telling BANG Showbiz: “We were emailing the other day, you know it’s discussion.
“We’re adults, we’re not catty fighters writing comments to each other on the Internet, we’re grown men.”

So George Takei himself has weighed in on the issue and it was more that he was upset about the ruining of Gene Roddenberry’s creation, not that it has anything to do with his or his character’s sexual orientation. It’s kind of like the NBA D League – it’s your favorite game, your favorite players, but the overall appeal is lacking some of the magic. But the rest of the cast including Chris Pine and Zoe Saldana are apparently fine with this:

While the original Mr. Sulu, George Takei, may disagree, this next generation of “Star Trek” actors is solidly in favor of going where no franchise screenplay has gone before by making the USS Enterprise’s helmsman an openly gay character, according to The Hollywood Reporter.

Zachary Quinto, who plays Spock in “Star Trek Beyond” and is openly gay, told the trade magazine Wednesday that it’s “definitely high time for an LGBT character to be included in the Star Trek universe.”

“We’ve been really excited by the response, particularly from young people, who have been inspired and motivated by this turn toward progress,” said Mr. Quinto, who was in London for the movie’s U.K. premiere.

Last week, Mr. Takei told reporters that while he was “delighted” to see an openly gay Star Trek character, “it’s a twisting” of creator Gene Roddenberry’s vision to make Sulu gay rather than come up with an original character who was openly gay all along.

But you know – going with Mr. Takei’s argument – why did Simon Pegg go against Mr. Takei’s argument and make an existing character gay rather than create a new one? Well Gene Roddenberry’s son weighs in on that argument:

Star Trek Beyond co-writer Simon Pegg, who also plays Scotty in the series, released a statement last week saying that he “respectfully disagrees” with Takei, and at the London premiere of Beyond on Tuesday, the cast and crew told the BBC that they’re all in support of Sulu being gay.

“The LGBT community has long advocated for representation in the Star Trek universe,” said Zachary Quinto, who plays Spock in the movie series and is himself openly gay. “We’ve been really excited by the response, particularly from young people, who have been inspired and motivated by this turn toward progress.”

Multiple cast members said they were surprised by the debate around the Sulu news, and Chris Pine told the BBC, “I’m a little stunned there’s been so much attention given to it.” As for Cho himself, he admitted that he was a little nervous about the revelation, but he’s extremely supportive of the news.

“I was worried because I knew was a gay man who had played a straight character,” Cho added. “I know he felt a fair bit of ownership of that character, and legitimately so. I was also worried that it might be inferred that we were somehow suggesting that sexuality was a choice. But I don’t think anyone has inferred that, and we’re certainly not saying that.”

Can’t wait for this movie.

See you next week!

Pokemon Go Trolls Westboro Baptist Church, WBC Attempt To Reverse-Troll Backfires Hilariously

If you haven’t noticed already, you’re about to. Suddenly everyone’s playing, Pokémon Go. Soon you’ll notice masses of people gathered in one spot, say a public park, holding their phones in the air. Pokémon Go is an app that demands its users collect Pokémon (short for pocket monsters) that are hanging out in real spots around the globe (in augmented reality).

In the game, certain locations are named as “gyms” where you can battle your Pokemon against another team’s Pokemon. The Westboro Baptist Church in Topeka, Kansas was designated as one such gym and a team has taken it over using a monster called a Clefairy. That Clefairy is named, appropriately, “LOVEISLOVE”.

Now cue the whambulance!

The church responded to the stunt via Twitter, employing images from Pokémon to spread its anti-LGBTQ message.

“We recruited Jigglypuff to deal with the sodomite loveislove Clefairy for us,” the WBC tweeted.

Church elder Steve Drain told USA Today that the church uses whatever tools they can to get their message across – even if that instrument may be a false idol.

“We try to speak whatever language is being spoken,” Drain said.

“This little church, as despised and vilified as we are, the location of this church will be memorialised throughout eternity,” he added. “We’re willing by God’s grace to say that homosexuality is wrong, and that’s what we’ve been known for, even though we preach the whole counsel of God.”


Top 10 Conservative Idiots #34: Trump-Man & The Mosquito Edition

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #34: Trump-Man & The Mosquito Edition

Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! And that’s a Sunday crowd for you there, folks! You know what kind of audience you’re getting on a rare Top 10 Sunday edition since we moved the Top 10 to Wednesdays! Well the title of this week’s edition is a play on the title to the sequel for Ant-Man called “Ant-Man & The Wasp”. So let me ask you guys something – you guys and gals like basketball? Well you know there’s some interesting things going on in sports right now. Especially in basketball. Of course my Lakers are going to suck from now until whenever they decide to kick the Buss’s out of ownership of the team. And the Clippers who I have started to root for only because they kind of sort of win, have resigned the whole team from last year. But everything has been going for Golden State, so we can look forward to years of finals between the Golden State Warriors and the Cleveland Cavaliers. With that out of the way we’ve got a lot of idiocy to cover, especially the RNC is a mere 7 days away folks! But first Stephen Colbert takes the guns off on gun control:

So where do we begin this week? Well the number one slot is going to go to Congressional Republicans (1). So the FBI smacked down their investigation into Hillary Clinton’s e-mail…. Scandal…. ? If you can call it a “scandal”. And naturally the republicans lost their shit. Of course returning champion Donald Trump (2, 3) takes up the second and third slots this week. In the second slot we’re going to talk about Donald Trump’s reaction to the Hillary Clinton e-mail scandal and if you guessed that there’s some white supremacy involved, Trump style, you are correct sir / madam! In the third slot, I hope you’re not eating anything while you are viewing this, because the third slot we’re going to talk about who doesn’t want to be Donald Trump’s running mate, as well as a bizarre suggestion of who *SHOULD* be his running mate (hint: don't eat anything). In the fourth slot this week is Joe Walsh (4). No I'm not talking about the Eagles frontman, I'm talking about batshit crazy former Illinois representative Joe Walsh. Unfortunately we won’t be able to do a “people who somehow got elected” for this edition, but he will be a good one for a future edition. In the fifth slot is something much lighter – the Bathroom Police (5), who return after being absent last week. So the US military overturned the ban on transgender military service, but not everyone is pleased with the ruling including actual trans people. Meanwhile, while some people have been committing some really horrifying sex crimes on top of that. Now on the lighter side – in the sixth slot we’re going to Kentucky to talk about the Noah’s Ark theme park opening. Taking the 7th slot, we are going to talk about Fox News (7). So Gretchen Carlson sued the network for harassment, and this story goes much crazier than you would think. Plus we’ll answer the question – “Is Roger Ailes the Zapp Branagin of TV journalists?” Spoiler alert: yes! In the number 8 slot, we’ve got some religious nuts to tell you about – Jim Bob Duggar is attempting to rationalize child molestation (yes, you heard that correctly) while Duck Dynasty’s Phil Robertson has gone off the deep end batshit crazy. In the number 9 slot (NEIN!!!), we’re going to take a dip in the international conservative idiots file and head to Scotland to tell you the results of a Nazi fashion show. Finally this week, before we dive head first into the convention madness, we’re going to end on the lighter side and talk about Taylor Swift’s insane 4th Of July Party. Normally I won’t talk about celebrity tabloid nonsense but when you call a party “Taymerica” and invite just about everyone in Hollywood to your party, and a million stories come out of it, we have to talk about it. Plus we have some great Top 10 theories about this party. Enjoy! And as always don’t forget the key!

Congressional Republicans

We are just a mere 7 days away from RNC Eve, folks! Come on sing it with me – “It’s the most wonderful time of the year!”. Actually it probably isn’t considering what will happen in Cleveland in the event that Trumpenfuror doesn’t make it through as the GOP nom. But what happens if that doesn’t happen? Well we’ll explore that further down this edition. Meanwhile, Congressional Republicans are literally doing everything they can to………………… not pass any meaningful legislation! Or at the very least let Obama have a say in who gets nominated to SCOTUS to replace Scalia. Quick, to the Idiot Mobile!

So what happened exactly while we were gone? You know the FBI had that insane investigation into the Hillary Clinton e-mail “scandal” which I will refer to by using quotation marks because that’s about the extent of what you can call a “scandal”. Let’s explore further. So the FBI decided to interview Hillary about the use of e-mail:

Hillary Clinton could be interviewed by the FBI in the coming days as part of an investigation into the former secretary of state and her staff's use of private email to conduct official U.S. State Department business, according to a source familiar with the U.S. Department of Justice's investigation.

The Justice Department's goal is to complete the investigation and make recommendations on whether charges should be filed before the two major party conventions take place toward the latter half of July, the source said.

Read more: http://abcnews.go.com/Politics/fbi-interview-hillary-clinton-coming-days-email-scandal/story?id=40291561

Great idea! Let’s charge the presumptive Democratic Party nominee with…. Something. What that is continues to remain a mystery. The republicans want to charge Hillary Clinton with something but what it is even they don’t know. But this is the biggest inquiry into the scandal – did Hillary Clinton have information regarding intelligence officials on her non government sanctioned e-mail server?

And yet, when confronted with the findings of the report, Hillary Clinton maintained that all the hullabaloo surrounding her email probe is simply the result of a “mistake” that she committed during her time as the Secretary of State. As it turns out, however, using her “convenience” argument is not the only time Clinton has fallen back on fabricated truths to justify her actions. The report also showed that Clinton was fully aware of repeated hacking attempts by an allegedly Russian-state-sponsored hacker, with her then-IT chief even completely shutting down the server in 2011 to prevent classified data from being compromised.


John R. Schindler, a former National Security Agency analyst, wrote in the Observer that his source who is “privy to some of FBI’s findings” is certain that Clinton’s server was breached several times, thereby jeopardizing national security. “We know (her email server) was hacked numerous times; it’s that simple. If I were Vladimir Putin, I’d fire the head of the SVR (Russia’s foreign intelligence service) if he didn’t get a good look at Hillary’s emails when they were sitting in plain sight online.” Schindler then went on to suggest that intelligence agencies around the world, including that of Russia, China, and Iran, must know more about the email exchanges of Hillary Clinton than the American public does. If this accusation turns out to be true, Hillary Clinton could brace herself for a mountain of legal trouble coming her way. It could be the basis on which the FBI might indict Hillary Clinton under the Espionage Act.

That is pretty heavy duty shit. So naturally the republicans have gone to Defcon 2 and turned the spin cycle up to nuclear.

Just three days after completing a highly-publicized 3.5 hour interview with the former Secretary of State, the FBI is prepared to give a press conference this morning. FBI Director James Comey is scheduled to give the remarks at 11 a.m., which are on an unspecific topic.

Last week, Attorney General Loretta Lynch announced that she was prepared to receive the recommendation from the FBI about the investigation into Clinton’s use of a private email server and the handling of classified information.

Political Twitter immediately wagered their best bets about the press conference and what we might expect to hear when Comey takes to the microphone. Many are pointing to the fact that Clinton is scheduled to make her first campaign stop later today alongside President Barack Obama as a likely indicator about how Comey’s remarks may be colored:

Which prompted attorney general Loretta Lynch to interview both Bill and Hillary Clinton in order to make recommendations on what the next direction the case should take is:

Attorney General Loretta Lynch will accept the "determinations and findings" of the FBI and career prosecutors who are investigating Hillary Clinton's use of a private email server while she was secretary of state, a Justice Department official said Friday.

Lynch is expected to discuss her handling of the case at an event Friday morning in Aspen, Colorado.
The news of Lynch's decision, which sources told CNN has been in the works for months, was first reported by The New York Times.
The assurances from the official follow criticism stemming from a private meeting Lynch had with former President Bill Clinton at a Phoenix airport earlier this week.

Read more: http://www.cnn.com/2016/07/01/politics/lynch-to-accept-guidance-from-fbi-on-clinton-email-probe/index.html

And then what happened exactly after that?

The attorney general typically would have the final say over whether prosecutors seek an indictment in such a high-profile case involving a former senior Cabinet official. The Times noted that Lynch’s predecessor, Eric Holder, chose to overrule prosecutors who wanted to bring felony charges against former CIA Director David Petraeus, reducing the charge to a misdemeanor in a case involving the mishandling of classified material.

Lynch is not formally recusing herself and won’t agree to demands from some Republicans, including Senator John Cornyn of Texas, that she appoint a special counsel in the Clinton case. The FBI has yet to interview Clinton, who has said she hopes the investigation is completed soon.

Read more: http://www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2016/07/loretta-lynch-says-she-wouldnt-save-hillary-clinton/489725/

Ah! Note that it’s not just Hillary Clinton who’s under investigation but there’s someone else in the cabinet who might also be under investigation. And here’s how Paul Ryan is planning on handling this whole thing. If you guessed he’s launching an investigation into the investigation, you are correct! No wonder shit doesn’t get done in this country!

Speaker Paul Ryan (R-Wis.) said Tuesday evening that Republicans will hold hearings to learn more about the FBI's decision to not recommend criminal charges for presumptive Democratic presidential nominee Hillary Clinton.

"People have been convicted for far less," Ryan said during an interview with Megyn Kelly on Fox News's "The Kelly File," saying that he thought FBI director James Comey "was going to recommend prosecution" based on the FBI director's opening remarks in a press conference Tuesday.

Ryan said the FBI's decision not to recommend charges "underscores the belief that the Clintons live above the law."

Comey said that while there was evidence Clinton and her staff was "extremely careless" with classified information, "no reasonable prosecutor" would bring a case against her.

Read more: http://www.msn.com/en-us/news/politics?ocid=iehp

You know why does workout Paul Ryan remind me of Ben Stiller’s White Goodman character from the 2004 flick Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story?

Donald Trump

Before we get into all things Donald J. Trump this week, there’s a couple of items I would like to address here. While we didn’t have space for Infowars this week, I do have to point out Alex Jones and his obsession with Donald Trump and goblins. Yes this guy is so batshit off the wall fucking crazy that he thinks goblins exist. Goblins!!! Goblins!!!!!! Why is my voice getting so high? And I’m pretty sure Alex Jones believes in goblins too. Hey o!!!!

During an otherwise routine critique of Donald Trump’s growing ties with establishment Republicans, libertarian radio host Alex Jones took a moment on Tuesday to read a passage from his darkest Lord of the Rings slash fic, voicing concerns about his new BFF “kissing goblins.”

“I never expected Trump charging into a goblin’s nest to not get some goblin vomit and schlop and blood on him,” said Jones. “I just don’t want to catch him in bed with a goblin. But if he’s in there rolling around hacking ‘em up and he’s got a goblin guide, y’know, taking him into the cave, I’m not expecting him to not get dirty, especially up to his ankles.”

And yes there is tape of this batshit crazy tirade. Can we roll it please?

Seriously – is Alex Jones just playing a really fucked up game of Dungeons & Dragons, or is he watching way too much Game Of Thrones?

And then one of my favorite comedians – Jim Jeffries – who I have seen perform standup multiple times in the last couple of years – absolutely nailed it when it comes to Trumpenfuror:

Jeffries continued, hammering Trump for making promises that could not conceivably happen — making Mexico pay for the aforementioned wall and banning members of certain religious groups from entering the United States, for example.

“He’s like a kid running for class president who’s just walking around going ‘And we’re going to have two lunches and there’s gonna be a soda machine in every classroom’,” Jeffries said — then he brought down the hammer.

“What he does is he preys on fear,” Jeffries explained, citing Trump’s categorical claim that all Mexicans are rapists. After any terrorist attack, Trump can be counted on to “go after the Muslims,” even promising to kill the families of terror suspects (a war crime) and force Muslims to register themselves like a scene out of X-Men (or, of course, Hitler’s Germany

But for this entry we got to talk about Donald Trump and the famous Hillary Clinton Star Of David tweet he rolled out last week.

That’s right – Hillary Clinton is The. Most. Corrupt. Candidate. Ever. Ladies and gentlemen!!! Bravo, Mrs. Clinton well done! Take a bow! Or……………. Is she?

Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump on Saturday tweeted an image of rival Hillary Clinton alongside hundred-dollar bills and a Jewish star bearing the words "most corrupt candidate ever!", prompting outrage and bafflement on social media.

Two hours after his initial tweet, Trump tweeted a similar image in which the six-pointed Star of David - which appears on Israel's flag and which Jews were forced to wear on their clothing by the Nazis during the Holocaust - was replaced by a circle. The original tweet was deleted.

Critics said the image featuring the star harkened back to centuries-old anti-Semitic stereotypes, such as the belief that Jews are greedy.

"Just saw #DonaldTrump's Star of David tweet. I'm impressed by his ability to find a way to insult literally every kind of human being," screenwriter Cole Haddon wrote on Twitter.

Read more: http://www.reuters.com/article/us-usa-election-trump-idUSKCN0ZI0UY

But is Hillary Clinton really that corrupt? Take a look at what The Donald did last week:

Why Donald Trump buying $12K of Tebow gear could potentially be an IRS violation

Donald Trump, the presumptive Republican nominee, has many tremendous friends. Tom Brady of the Patriots is a tremendous friend. And maybe Tim Tebow is a tremendous friend too, because The Donald spent, according to the Washington Post, $12,000 of his foundation's money on a Tebow Broncos helmet and jersey several years ago.


And of course David Duke loves the Tweet:

Ex-KKK Grand Wizard David Duke expressed his gratitude and support for Donald Trump‘s tweet that used a red Star of David to accuse Hillary Clinton of corruption.

In one of a series of tweets published over the weekend, Duke said it was “ok” that Trump had replaced the image with the Star of David with one of a red circle, saying that “we welcome the hidden hand exposing itself.”

He also thanked Trump for “slipping some ‘Red Pills’ to the American people!” (“Red pill,” a term borrowed from The Matrix, typically refers to the men’s rights movement, but can be more broadly applied to any instance of one becoming aware of the secret nature of the world.)

Duke has been one of Trump’s troublesome supporters, and the candidate invited controversy back in February when he did not immediately disavow the former KKK leader’s endorsement. (He eventually did.) Duke subsequently took credit for a boost in Trump’s poll numbers.

Read more: http://www.mediaite.com/online/david-duke-expresses-gratitude-support-for-anti-semitic-trump-tweet/

And of course he attempted to justify the Tweet by comparing to what else? Frozen! Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayy!!!!

Over the weekend, Donald Trump tweeted a picture of Hillary Clinton next to a six-pointed star and piles of money, calling her the "most corrupt candidate ever." Soon after, a lot of people pointed out that this evoked some common anti-semitic tropes, and that the image had previously appeared on a white supremacist-leaning message board. Then Trump’s social media team hastily slapped a circle over the star and issued a Chewbacca defense-style explanation that involved the Microsoft Office Shapes tool and the premise that a sheriff’s badge "fit with the theme" of money and corruption. Then the campaign blamed the entire thing on "biased media," insisting that a candidate who routinely retweets apparent white supremacist accounts and refused to denounce former KKK grand wizard David Duke could not possibly condone anti-semitism.

And Hillary’s response was hilarious:

Sit down! Sit down! Go back to Univision and stop asking me questions I don’t know! But this might be the funniest Trump moment to come along in the entire campaign:

Donald Trump

Hey anyone remember that last entry when we had Donald Trump getting attacked by a mosquito? Can we roll tape on that again? I’m not getting tired of that.

And you know do we really need greased up Hercules telling us who to vote for? I mean seriously did we run out of credible people to ask their opinions so we resort to has been B-TV fundie movie stars now?

Kevin Sorbo, the God’s Not Dead actor who seems to think the film was a documentary, told TMZ yesterday that Jesus would totally vote for Donald Trump because he’s the “lesser of two evils.”

To his credit, the reporter pointed out that Jesus, who “grew up in the Middle East,” might not be able to visit America if President Trump has his way with immigration policy. Sorbo dismissed that argument with a knee-jerk, “I don’t think that’s true.”

But for this entry we got to talk about who’s *NOT* going to be Donald Trump’s running mate. So Donald Trump claims to have a list of 10 people who might be his potential running mate. Choose carefully there Donald because whoever does is going to be pulling your strings for the next 4, possibly 8 years.

Senator Bob Corker got a chance to campaign alongside Donald Trump up close and personal on Tuesday, and apparently he decided it wasn’t for him. A day after Corker appeared with the presumptive Republican nominee at a rally in Raleigh, North Carolina, the Tennessean told The Washington Post that he’s withdrawing himself from consideration as Trump’s running mate.

“There are people far more suited for being a candidate for vice president and I think I’m far more suited for other types of things,” he said. “It’s a highly political job and that’s not who I am.”

Corker was among the earliest Senate Republicans to embrace Trump, reportedly tutoring him on foreign policy. That drew VP buzz, but then Corker made several critical comments about Trump’s policies and tone, especially about Judge Gonzalo Curiel, and his stock in the veepstakes dropped. In his interview with the Post, however, Corker was very positive about Trump. “It was incredible to be with him in Raleigh and see the way people react to him,” he said. “They’re so excited and I truly believe he has such an opportunity ahead.”

At this point it’s probably easier to make a list of who *HASN’T* declined to be Donald Trump’s running mate. Was it Joni Ernst who was second behind Bob Corker?

Joni Ernst all but removed herself from Donald Trump’s vice presidential search, telling POLITICO in an interview that she wants to help Trump become president but that she’s focused on Iowa and the Senate, where the freshman senator said she's “just getting started.”

The GOP senator met with Trump on Monday and received effusive praise afterward, with Trump predicting he will “see her again.” But it likely won’t be as his running mate.

“I made that very clear to him that I’m focused on Iowa. I feel that I have a lot more to do in the United States Senate. And Iowa is where my heart is,” Ernst said Wednesday. “I’m just getting started here. I have a great partner with Chuck Grassley, we’ve been able to accomplish a lot. And I think that President Trump will need some great assistance in the United States Senate and I can provide that.”

Or how about Newt Gingrich? Who right now looks like the presumptive front runner? Hey two serial cheaters and divorcees running against Hillary Clinton? Please pass the butter!

Presumptive Republican nominee Donald Trump said Wednesday he was "looking at 10 people" as potential vice presidential picks -- but it appears he's eyeing one in particular.

Sources close to the Trump campaign told NJ.com Thursday afternoon that former U.S. House Speaker Newt Gingrich is "the likely pick" to be the billionaire's running mate.

SEE ALSO: Trump's rumored female VP pick could rock the race

This comes a day after two other rumored candidates for the position, including early favorite Tennessee Sen. Bob Corker and Iowa Sen. Joni Ernst, removed their names from the running.

Gingrich has been willing to criticize Trump in the past, just last month calling his remarks about the judge presiding over the Trump University civil fraud case "inexcusable."

But… Senator Corker had a weirder, creepier, and somehow appropriate suggestion of who should be Donald Trump’s vice presidential nominee:

But… even if Newt declines (and he probably will), who will replace him as Trumpenfuror’s vice president? Why Bob Corker has a much weirder, and even creepier suggestion – Ivanka Trump!!! WTF!!

Forget readiness to be commander-in-chief. If beauty were the top job requirement for Vice President of the United States, Sen. Bob Corker and Eric Trump have just the candidate for Donald Trump – his daughter Ivanka.

Tennessee Sen. Bob Corker – who removed himself from the VP running on Wednesday – suggested that Trump pick his daughter Ivanka Trump as his running mate during an interview with NBC News.

"His best running mate by the way would be Ivanka," Corker advised. "I know that wouldn't pass muster probably but I don't know if I've met a more composed, brilliant, beautiful-in-every-way person."

Ivanka even has the support of her brother Eric, who told Fox & Friends on Thursday that his sister has "certainly got my vote."

Joe Walsh

So normally I would have used this entry to talk about the murder of Alton Sterling, I wont post the video of what happened here because I am trying to keep this somewhat safe for work. If you want to see the video go to Youtube. And I won’t use any funny memes or jokes for this entry. Because it’s really fucked up. But first we do have to talk about the murder of Alton Sterling while it’s still fresh.

The U.S. Justice Department will lead the investigation into the killing of a black man shot to death by Baton Rouge police, Louisiana governor John Bel Edwards announced Wednesday.

Alton Sterling was shot and killed early Tuesday outside a convenience store where he was selling CDs. Authorities say he was confronted by police after an anonymous caller said he saw a man threaten someone with a gun. In a cellphone video taken by a community activist, two officers had Sterling pinned to the ground, and gunfire erupted moments after someone yelled, "He's got a gun! Gun!"

Edwards said the video "is disturbing to say the least."

In a statement, the U.S. Justice Department said the FBI's New Orleans Division, the Civil Rights Division and the U.S. Attorney's Office for the Middle District of Louisiana have opened a civil rights investigation into the 37-year-old's death. Louisiana State Police will assist, Edwards said.

Holy shit!!! This is so serious that the FBI is getting involved! And of course in order to give their talking points to their minions, Fox News brought on king racist Mark Furhman to discuss this horrifying event, because you know, he has some experience in this area.


On Wednesday, the world woke to a scene that is all too familiar in America: A black man, Alton Sterling, was shot and killed by the police (an alarm tragically repeated again on Thursday). A cellphone video shows Sterling pinned to the ground beneath two police officers when he is shot several times at point-blank range.

Protesters immediately gathered outside the convenience store where Sterling was killed. Outrage has mounted online; his death has been called a murder, an assassination, and a lynching. The Department of Justice announced that they would open a civil rights investigation into the case.

Fox News, meanwhile, invited on Mark Fuhrman, who first came to national attention when he was exposed as a blatant racist during the O.J. Simpson trial. Fuhrman argued that Sterling deserved his death.

“So they go there, and when you watch the escalation of force, first they verbalized, and he failed to comply with the verbal commands,” Fuhrman said. “They actually de-escalated the force that they could have used by tackling and then trying to grapple with the suspect.”

Hey Fox News…. I have one thing to say:

So news broke this week of yet another horrifying shooting this week and of course jack shit is going to be done about weapons in this country. We won’t get to what happened in Dallas this week because it will take a while to sort fact from fiction, but considering we’re doing double duty this week and next week, we won’t get to this until Wednesday. But believe me shit will go down in Wednesday’s edition! But we do have to point out what Joe Walsh did. You know if you’re an elected official (or in this case former), or anyone of any sort of importance, anything you say on a public domain like Twitter is just that – public! There are no take backs. Can we throw that Tweet up there?

A former Tea Party congressman from Illinois sent a series of tweets on Thursday night blaming the fatal police shootings in Dallas on President Barack Obama and declaring a war on “black lives matter punks.”

Former Rep. Joe Walsh (R-IL), who now hosts a nationally syndicated far-right radio show, posted a tweet warning that “Real America” was coming after Obama and Black Lives Matter activists at around midnight.

And you know what his excuse was? Twitter “made him” take it down!

In subsequent tweets that remained posted as of early Friday, he called the shooters "uneducated black thugs" and blamed Obama and the Black Lives Matter movement for the officers' deaths.

"I wasn't calling for violence, against Obama or anyone. Obama's words and BLM's deeds have gotten cops killed," he tweeted.

The Dallas police officers were shot during an anti-police brutality protest Thursday, police there said.

An unrepentant Walsh stood by his tweets Friday morning, saying in a Tribune interview: "Of course I didn't mean 'let's go kill Obama and Black Lives Matter.' I was not trying to incite violence against Obama and Black Lives Matter. That's crazy and stupid and wrong."

YES YOU DID ASSHOLE!!! YOU EXACTLY MEANT THAT!!!! You know the republicans and conspiracy theorists love the idea of a race war, but in reality, they have as much credibility of starting one as Cartman does.

The Bathroom Police

So the bathroom police are back ladies and gentlemen. You know last week was a huge victory for trans rights activists as the US military finally overturned the ban on transgender service in the US military! That’s right – as the Huffington Post put it - trans people can now serve a country that routinely and acceptably throws them under the bus. But first I have to point out exactly how PC this country has become. We go to my home away from home, Denver, Colorado for this story:

DENVER - Parents in Denver are complaining after finding out their children attended a Cub Scout camp that was sponsored by Hooters.

KMGH-TV reports Michelle Kettleborough picked up her 7-year-old son from the Frontier District Day Camp and found him surrounded by people wearing Hooters visors.

But parents say it isn't the attire that irritates them - the women were wearing shorts and fitted T-shirts - but that Hooters doesn't fit the philosophy of the Scouts.

Quick! To the morality mobile!!

And will Caitlyn Jenner ever stop throwing her own people under the bus? First she wanted to be Ted Cruz’s trans ambassador (whatever that is), and now this:

“I’m on the conservative Republican side,” she said when asked about issues facing the transgender community. “I’m not excited with what Obama has done to the economy, to our Constitution, all that kind of stuff. But as far as the transgender community, they’ve actually been very good.”

“Everybody looks at the Democrats as being better with these issues,” she added. “But Trump seems to be very much for women. He seems very much behind the LGBT community because of what happened in North Carolina with the bathroom issue. He backed the LGBT community. But in Trump’s case, there’s a lot more unknowns. With Hillary, you pretty much know what you’re gonna get with the LGBT community.”

But now we need to get the crying baby out here again. Because a new survey found that fundamentalist Christians have a persecution complex. Really? We needed a survey for this? I could have told you that! Where’s my writers??? I need answers, damn it!!!


Many, many Christians believe they are subject to religious discrimination in the United States. A new report from the Public Religion Research Institute and Brookings offers evidence: Almost half of Americans say discrimination against Christians is as big of a problem as discrimination against other groups, including blacks and minorities. Three-quarters of Republicans and Trump supporters said this, and so did nearly eight out of 10 white evangelical Protestants. Of the latter group, six in 10 believe that although America once was a Christian nation, it is no longer—a huge jump from 2012.

Polling data can be split up in a million different ways. It’s possible to sort by ethnicity, age, political party, and more. The benefit of sorting by religion, though, is that it highlights people’s beliefs: the way their ideological and spiritual convictions shape their self-understanding. This survey suggests that race is not enough to explain the sense of loss some white Americans seem to feel about their country, although it’s part of the story; the same is true of age, education level, and political affiliation. People’s beliefs seem to have a distinctive bearing on how they view changes in American culture, politics, and law—and whether they feel threatened. No group is more likely to express this fear than conservative Christians.

Which is funny because they’re the ones doing most of the persecuting. In fact as many as 10 different states are filing to prevent trans students from using the bathroom of their choice:

Ten states sued the federal government Friday over rules requiring public schools to allow transgender students to use restrooms conforming to their gender identity, joining a dozen other states in the latest fight over LGBT rights.

The lawsuit was filed in federal court in Nebraska and included nine other states: Arkansas, Kansas, Michigan, Montana, North Dakota, Ohio, South Carolina, South Dakota, and Wyoming.

The filing comes after 11 states sued in May over the same Obama administration directive. North Carolina officials also sued the federal government in May over the same issue. Vast sums of federal funding are at stake: Money could be withheld from public schools that refuse to comply with the federal directive.

But really the bathroom police lost a huge one this week. You know this week the US military has finally overturned the ban on trans military service. Let’s discuss this in further detail:

'Defense Secretary Ashton B. Carter on Thursday removed one of the final barriers to military service by lifting the Pentagon’s ban on transgender people serving openly in the armed forces.

The decision pushes forward a transformation of the military that Mr. Carter has accelerated in the last year with the opening of all combat roles to women and the appointment of the first openly gay Army secretary. He made his feelings on ending the transgender ban clear last year, when he called it outdated and ordered officials across the military to begin examining what would need to be done to lift the prohibition.'>>>


But not everyone is excited about this ruling including actual transgender people. You know, I wonder, how will this affect our military bases in North Carolina?

Chelsea Manning has made an impassioned critique against the US military’s new rules allowing transgender people openly to serve in the armed forces, arguing that the reforms fall short of true equality.

Writing for the Guardian from her prison cell in Fort Leavenworth, Kansas, where she is serving a 35-year sentence for leaking US state secrets to WikiLeaks, Manning raised two main objections to the revised policies.

And this isn’t stopping lawmakers from running anti-LGBT smear campaigns similar to what George W. Bush did in 2000:

North Carolina lawmakers are taking steps to set aside a half-million dollars for the legal defense of a law limiting protections for LGBT people.

The funds received preliminary approval from a Senate committee Thursday as the yearly legislative session neared its end.

But trans people never fear – it’s not all doom and gloom! Things are getting better! You have an ally now! I’m of course talking about Will Smith’s son Jaden Smith, who champions himself as a pioneer for trans rights by being a guy who openly wears skirts and dress-type garments in public!

Jaden Smith has become better known for his eye-catching style than his movies as of late—and he's OK with that.

Will Smith's son, now the face of Louis Vuitton, has been breaking fashion barriers in his everyday style for a while now, often wearing skirts or even opting for a white Batman suit to Kim Kardashian and Kanye West's wedding. In his latest campaign for Louis Vuitton, Jaden wears a patterned skirt and crocheted shirt—not the typical male ensemble.

Jaden is Nylon magazine's August cover star, and inside the pages he explains why he dresses the way he does and how he manages to pull it off. "You just have to believe in yourself, you know," Jaden says of where he draws his confidence. "The world is going to keep bashing me for whatever I do, and I'm going to keep not caring. I'm going to keep doing the same things—I'm going to keep doing more things."

And of course you know every time the bathroom police need to harass trans people, here comes the obligatory sex crime, and they definitely did not leave me with a shortage of material this week:
A former Ohio seminary student who pleaded guilty to trying to adopt and buy baby girls in Mexico so he could sexually molest them will be sentenced in San Diego Friday.

In April, Joel Alexander Wright, 23, admitted to seeking sex with infants he wanted to adopt from Tijuana. In his plea agreement, Wright admitted he had written numerous explicit emails where he described, in graphic detail, how his desires to sexually assault baby girls under the age of four in Mexico.

Babies!!!!!!!!!!!!! Babies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What the fucking fuck!!!!!

Ark Theme Park

Theme parks. You know those places where you pay $150 to stand in line for 2 hours for a ride that lasts 2 minutes. But this particular theme park is based in Kentucky was built by Ken “I’ll pay atheists $10,000 for proof Jesus exists” Ham, and was proven that the “college” he went to was really run out of some guy’s house, and has no rides. So why would people go? Because it’s a “life size” replica of Noah’s Ark.

WILLIAMSTOWN, Ky. – As visitors bustled about the third deck of an imposing Noah’s Ark replica, Faye Toler sat in quiet reflection.

She rode a bus all the way from Pensacola, Fla., with other seniors from East Brent Baptist Church for opening day of the Ark Encounter, which features a full-size ark as described in the Bible's book of Genesis.

“It actually takes you – and I was surprised to see this – from the beginning to the very end for the crucifixion" of Jesus, Toler said, looking across the vast expanse of timber. “To me, it’s seeing God’s word fulfilled. … It’s awesome just to see the size of it. We have electricity, equipment. And they were doing all this by hand. To me, that is unimaginable.

But this is intriguing some actual scientists. Bill Nye is planning on visiting the park. Why Bill Nye??? Why??? Will Neil DeGrasse Tyson also tour this theme park?

It appears Bill Nye, "the Science Guy," will get a private tour of the Noah's Ark model in Grant County from the creationist he debated two years ago.

Creationist leaders confirmed Answers in Genesis founder Ken Ham invited Nye to the Ark Encounter exhibit and Nye accepted. He will tour the 500-foot-long ark sometime on Friday. Messages to Nye's publicists were not returned.

Nye and Ham debated creationism versus science in February 2014 at the Creation Museum in Petersburg. The debate drew to the Creation Museum worldwide attention and publicity, which some see as a watershed that opened the floodgates for donations to pay for the $100 million ark exhibit.

Fox News

Fox News. That network you turn to when you want to have attractive blonde women in short skirts tell you how to think for this week’s outrage du jour. So would you be surprised to learn that Fox News has a long history of sexual harassment? Well… we’re not surprised either! I mean seriously is Roger Ailes the Zapp Branagin of TV news journalists?

Longtime Fox News host Gretchen Carlson has filed a lawsuit against the network’s chairman and CEO Roger Ailes, alleging that she was dismissed after she rebuffed Ailes’ sexual advances.

The lawsuit, which has been obtained by TheWrap, was filed on Wednesday in Bergen County, New Jersey.

Yup! So that’s what we’re dealing with here folks. What’s even scarier is that this is turning into a Bill Cosby type of situation.

What does that even mean? But seriously here’s where things get fucking weird:

According to the complaint, he “ogl Carlson in his office and ask her to turn around so he could view her posterior.” He noted that “certain outfits enhanced Carlson’s figure,” and urged her “to wear them every day.” He made repeated comments “about Carlson’s legs” (Ailes is apparently obsessed with his female anchors’ legs). He told her that “if he could choose one person to be stranded with on a desert island, she would be that person.” He told others, in her presence, that he had slept with “three former Miss Americas but not with her.” He told her she was “sexy,” but “too much hard work.” And he told her to lay off complaining about sexual harassment, accusing her of being “offended so God damn easy about everything.” This all comes on top of the headline quote: “I think you and I should have had a sexual relationship a long time ago and then you’d be good and better and I’d be good and better.”

Somehow that last one is surprisingly fitting. But getting back to Carlson, that is truly beyond creepy. I mean wearing skirts that “enhanced the female form”? Holy crap! This doesn’t get any better for you, Ailes. You can’t try and deny it!

Fox News Chairman Roger Ailes responded forcefully Wednesday night to a lawsuit filed by Gretchen Carlson after her contract was not renewed as a daytime host at the network, calling the allegations “false” and “offensive.”

In the wake of Carlson’s suit against Ailes, which alleged sexual harassment and wrongful termination, the network’s parent company, 21st Century Fox, said it had launched an internal review of conduct by Ailes and by Steve Doocy, Carlson’s former co-host on “Fox & Friends.” The statement said the company has “full confidence” in Ailes and Doocy.

But now here’s where the situation gets more Cosby-esque – as many as 10 different women have contacted Carlson’s attorneys alleging harassment against Ailes. Holy crap, he really is Zapp Branagin! :

Attorneys for former Fox News host Gretchen Carlson were contacted by 10 women in the wake of their lawsuit against the network’s CEO, Roger Ailes, CNN’s Brian Stelter reported on Wednesday afternoon.

“I just spoke with one of the attorneys involved in Carlson’s suit,” Stelter said in video posted by Media Matters, adding that the women reached out “because they say they also have stories to share about treatment by Roger Ailes.”

Religious Nuts

Religious nuts. You know – that crazy uncle who nobody wants to sit next to at Thanksgiving because he will spend most of dinner shouting insane conspiracy theories about “teh geys!!!” and anyone who’s not a straight religious white male? Well a favorite insane punching bag of the Top 10 – Duck Dynasty’s Phil Robertson is really America’s crazy uncle. Every time this guy shoots his mouth off to pander to the religious crazies, I really want to believe these people aren’t for real. They can’t be for real. Can they? So the Duck guy himself was in Colorado giving an incredibly bizarre rant to cate to the pro family crowd:

Here’s a clip of video from the speech given at last weekend’s Western Conservative Summit at the Colorado Convention Center by Phil Robertson, the controversial patriarch of the reality TV Duck Dynasty family. Known for his far-right and frequently offensive ramblings, Robertson rallied the crowd at WCS ’16 to raucous cheering several times.

Including with this bit about how the gays are at “behind” 160,000 murders in the United States during the Iraq and Afghanistan wars. Don’t take our word for it, we’ll let the Duck Commander himself ‘splain.


But you know what? We don’t need to transcribe it for you, let’s roll tape on this. And he has a *BIZARRE* obsession with what people do in the bathroom. And I do mean bizarre.

That’s right! Teh gheys are the cause of all the murders in the last six years! So not only has Phil Robertson gone off the rails and solved America’s gun problems ( ), he’s also got definitive proof that Jesus existed. Much like the Duck Dynasty Bible. It’s a product that exists and you can buy it in a store, but we both know that it sure as shit isn’t Christian!

So getting back to Phil Robertson and his insane theory that Jesus existed – much like his insane theory about bathrooms (see Idiots #27 ) - that I just… I can’t… I don’t…. what the fuck!!! Ah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

One of the strangest nuts that fell off the Pecan tree, is offering proof to the world that Jesus Christ existed and we all have that proof - The calendar. Of course, it's so clear - Why didn't I see it there on my wall? Jesus Christ, walked the earth.

Phil, I'm O.K., Robertson of the Duck Family at a conference (love that - gathering of loons) spoke about bathrooms and same sex marriage, "But the strangest moment of all may have been when he offered “proof” of Jesus Christ: the calendar.

“It is 2,016 years since Jesus showed up, right?” he said. “So don’t tell me he wasn’t here.” WOW - Good enough, the Vatican is good for another 2,000 years.

Hey, Phil - that calendar was sorta forced down humanities throat wasn't it . And how about the various other calendar's being used in other countries and other religion

Sigh… Roll tape.

So with that out of the way, another insane family who became inexplicably popular and crashed and burned hard is the Duggar family. And we first talked about this freak show back in Idiots #1 with the fallout from Josh Duggar’s molestation scandal. Now Jim Bob won’t shut up about molestation:


Jim Bob Duggar dropped a bomb about Christian families like his own that everyone missed during the disastrous Fox News interview last June.

Perhaps it was just another way to excuse his son Josh’s pedophilia, or perhaps he was throwing other crazy conservative “Christian” families under a speeding bus, but either way, Jim Bob Duggar made a statement to Fox News that seems to prove just how dangerous sexually repressive Christian doctrine is to children and teens.

As Jim Bob Duggar spoke while his subservient wife stayed quiet, he claimed that child molestation is common in Christian families, especially the families he sought advice from in the wake of learning that Josh molested four of his own sisters while they slept.

“It was a very difficult situation. But as we talked to other parents and different ones since then, a lot of families have said that they have had similar things that happened in their families.”

Hey Jim Bob… shut the fuck up. Stop talking now. Every word you say trying to justify this is worse than the one that preceded it.

Nazi Fashion Show

How fitting is this for the number 9 (NEIN!!!!) slot this week that we actually get to talk about something Nazi related? I’ve railed on America’s neo Nazi and white supremacist population since I started the Top 10 back last year. But it’s also incredibly easy to make jokes about the Nazis and Nazi culture. And you know just like conservative idiots, white supremacism has become an international problem that’s stemming far and wide with white supremacy ruining just about everything that it touches. So we head across the pond to Scotland for this story.

A Scottish woman, who goes by the disturbing pseudonym “A-Bus-Full-of-Retards,” was named the winner of the Miss Hitler 2016 competition.

The pageant was held by the Britain-based radical youth movement National Action.

The woman, who was interviewed under her pseudonym for the competition, said she was an NA activist who had dedicated her life to the group.

“I enjoy reading, browsing esoteric memes, and watching the reds lose their s*** over our publicity stunts,” she said.

In photos uploaded to the group’s website, the brunette can be seen posing wearing a kilt and a T-shirt with the National Action insignia on it.

In every photo, her face is half covered with a black skull scarf, and in some she appears to be doing the Nazi salute.

I know……….. Santa! Let’s talk about Santa for the rest of this entry! Everybody loves Santa, don’t they? I know I do! Ha ha ha ha ha…. So you know this week attracted one of the world’s largest gatherings of professional Santas in the world in Branson, Missouri, right?

You've heard of Christmas in July -- for special sales and promotions or alternative birthday parties for children born near Christmas. But if you're in Branson between July 6 and 10, you'll definitely think the holiday season is here, regardless of the summer temperatures. That's because the international Santa convention is coming to town.

More than 800 Santas and Mrs. Claus from all 50 states plus Europe, Asia and Australia will attend Discover Santa 2016, along with hundreds of vendors, sponsors and friends. Red suits and long white beards will be spotted everywhere.

The event marks the tenth anniversary of the original Discover Santa convention in 2006 in Branson.


We need some more Fourth Of July songs that aren’t written by Lee Greenwood. So how did you celebrate your Fourth Of July? Did you go to a sporting event? Or a concert? Or maybe a day at the park to watch some cheaply produced local fireworks shows? Or perhaps you did what I did every year and watch the Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest. I love the Hot Dog Eating Contest. I mean where else do you see “reversal of fortune” written as a rule for disqualification? That means you puked, and I’m pretty sure there was more of that going on watching at home then there was at the actual competition.

Holy shit! 70 hot dogs! And you know my favorite part of the Hot Dog Eating Contest? When ESPN does the after coverage of the HDEC and talks about how many calories worth’ of hot dogs the winner consumed. So 70 hot dogs. 70!!! 70!!!!!!! Why is my voice getting so high? Which is 19,600 calories’ worth of hot dogs. Which translates to 33½ Big Macs, or 173 slices of meat lovers’ pizza from Pizza Hut. Or an entire Oreo cheesecake from Cheesecake Factory. Because everything at the Cheesecake Factory has 2 tons of fat.

OK I’m getting carried away here. For this entry we got to talk about, yes, Taylor Swift, who celebrated 4th of July in the most Taylor Swift way possible. You know most long time viewers of the Top 10 know that I’m a huge fan of the Marvel movies. But I am not a Taylor Swift fan by any means. So imagine my disgust, if you will, when I saw that Taylor Swift was dating none other than Loki himself, the great Tom Hiddleston. A man who might be the next James Bond. And the news is too nauseating to report, so instead we’re going to break down this Vulture article Idiots style, with of course the hilarious memes and clips you come to expect from the Top 10.

Ah, the Fourth of July: a time to grill, to watch fireworks, to celebrate the birth of this great nation, and to wonder whether celebrities are lying to us. See, Taylor Swift has turned her annual Fourth of July party into an Instagram event, predicated not on basking in the refracted glow of celebrity (though there is some of that), but on trying to figure out how much of that glow is artificial. Is this anything like anyone’s actual Fourth of July party? More importantly, is it fun?

Yes, that is an excellent question! Is it fun? Of course a Fourth Of July party is fun if it’s got a giant 15 foot water slide, there’s plenty of food, drink, and famous guests. And Uncle Joey didn’t get sent to the emergency room to reattach his thumb after a fireworks mishap.

Part 2 – The Guest List

Regulars: Gigi Hadid (+10, friends), Cara Delevingne (+10, partners in crime), Karlie Kloss (+20, besties), Abigail Anderson (+20, also besties), Matt Lucier (+5, husband), Martha Hunt, Jordan Masterson (+5, sure), Uzo Aduba (+15, can sing; -30, too cool, throwing off the balance) Austin Swift (+40, brother), Este Haim (+5, a Haim).

Surprises: Ruby Rose (+20, random, but every party needs a Cool, and it is the Cool’s duty to be random), Harley Gusman (+5, girlfriend of the Cool), Ryan Reynolds (-10, Deadpool doesn’t do parties; +15, Ryan Reynolds does), Blake Lively (-100, in on it).

Wait – what the wha?????????????????? Ryan Reynolds was a guest? I thought Deadpool didn’t do parties!

Now this might be the strangest / creepiest / weirdest part of this whole shindig, and that’s a word I hardly ever get to use:

Part 2b – The Case of Hiddleston

Taylor Swift is dating Tom Hiddleston (-100 for believability; +50, not entirely out of the blue, when you really think hard about Tom Hiddleston).

Taylor Swift and Tom Hiddleston went to Rome (+5, Rome is cool).

Tom Hiddleston wore a tank top that said “I ❤ T.S.” (+50, lame, but in a believable way; +15, it could be about T.S. Eliot; -50, dude, it’s definitely not about T.S. Eliot; -200, he wore it in the ocean; -300, he also had a temporary tattoo with a “T” surrounded by a heart and we aren’t in the third grade).

Why the fuck would Taylor Swift’s own boyfriend wear an “I love Taylor Swift” t-shirt??? That’s like the Duck Dynasty Bible we talked about earlier in this edition. They can call it a religious book all they want, but add the Duck Dynasty morons, and it turns something authentic into something extremely cheap. But in true internet fashion there’s a lot of conspiracy theories abound.

Taylor Swift: are you for real? Conspiracy theorists are going into overdrive after Tom’s tank-top declaration of love for Taylor, but this isn’t the first time she’s inspired some majorly crackpot theories…

1. Swiddleston is actually a music video
We’ve written a pretty comprehensive breakdown of this whole Taylor Swift and Tom Hiddleston romance here, and it’s safe to say we’re a teeny bit cynical. Taylor isn’t usually quite so private with her love life on social media (RIP, Calvin Harris anniversary locket), so why the radio silence when it comes to Hiddleston?

Read more at http://www.instyle.co.uk/celebrity/news/taylor-swift-conspiracy#ztTjmwuzLDJeobQj.99

Yup! That’s the biggest takeaway from this insane party – Taylor Swift might be using her romance as a music video! Or maybe it’s just total bullshit.

Currently popping up on all the websites you use to distract yourself from the misery and snoredom of your professional life is a conspiracy theory which posits that Taylor Swift and Tom Hiddleston—the newest celebrity couple making me want to fork my eyeballs straight outta my head—are staging their relationship for the sake of performance art. Here’s something that’s not a theory: Whether they’re in a fake romance or not, Swift and Hiddleston are fucking dweebs and they’re both in need of a chill pill.

As previously covered by Jezebel, Swift and Hiddleston frolicked in the surf at her Rhode Island home over Fourth of July weekend, alongside Swift’s other famous pals Gigi Hadid, Blake Lively, and Abigail, the one who gave everything (as in sex) for nothing in “Fifteen.” During their romp, Hiddleston, like a tween who just grew boobs and doesn’t know what to do with them, wore a cloying “I LOVE TS” tank top in the water, while Swift sported a new pair of... sunglasses... and a patriotic bikini.

See you next week!
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