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Member since: Sat Apr 2, 2005, 02:11 PM
Number of posts: 49,763

Journal Archives

John Oliver Tackles Europe's Migrant Issue With Days Of Our Lives Stars

San Francisco Bartender Orders Dominos', Gets $1300 In Cash Instead

It's true: Domino's pizza was not listed on our definitive list of the best pizza in San Francisco. But maybe that was a mistake! It looks like a Berkeley Domino's is passing out mounds of cash to customers, and if there's anything that makes up for crappy mass-produced dough, it's the kind of dough you can spend.

OK, so here's what happened: a Berkeley man with the improbably yet glorious name of "Mike Vegas" ordered a pizza and chicken wings from Domino's, and just one slice before putting the rest in the fridge for later.

Vegas told ABC7 that "My phone started blowing up and I wasn't looking at the random messages. I was at work so I wasn't answering." Sure, Mike, I'm the same way.

It wasn't until the next day that he put two and two together. Says Vegas:

"About 5 a.m., I got home from work" (he's a bartender at AT&T Park, SF Gate reports) "and went to my refrigerator and pulled out what I thought was wings. It turned out to be 1,300 bucks."


With the cash, he could buy some much better pizza!

Ousted Volkswagen CEO Could Get $67 Million Severance Package

Martin Winterkorn, faced with the company's widening crisis over its rigging of emissions tests, announced his resignation as CEO of Volkswagen Group Wednesday. He is likely to leave with a pension valued around $32 million, and possibly with many millions more, depending on what the board decides regarding his severance payment.

According to the company's most recent annual report, Winterkorn had amassed a pension worth €28.6 million ($32 million) at the end of last year. And despite the scandal enveloping the German auto giant over its admission that it cheated on its diesel emissions data, compensation experts predict he'll receive it.

"Any high-level departure in an iconic company is going to get plenty of scrutiny," said David Wise, the U.S. market leader for the human resources consultancy Hay Group. "But the pension is the pension, and it's not new compensation for the CEO. It's been earned and accrued over a long time period. It's essentially already been paid for."

Winterkorn could also be eligible for a lofty severance payment, though it's not clear yet what he'll receive—if anything. The company's annual report says unless an executive is terminated "for a reason for which the Board of Management member is responsible," those with employment contracts dating since late 2009 may receive severance payments that equal up to twice their total remuneration.


This is fucking wrong. Screw up the company, send it into a financial and existential crisis, destroy the planet, and what do you get? $70 million! Throw these assholes in jail and throw away the key.

AFA Offshoot "One Million Moms" Boycotting New Muppets Show Because, Wait For It..

It has "adult humor"! The horror! Have these people not seen an episode of Spongebob Squarepants?

You know that grunt-like scream that Miss Piggy makes when she’s really made and frustrated? That’s pretty much what the American Family Association offshoot One Million Moms is doing right now as they boycott ABC’s The Muppets TV show premiering this Tuesday at 8pm Eastern.

The organization touts a mission statement saying that they are trying to “stop the exploitation of our children, especially by the entertainment media” and “stand against the immorality, violence, vulgarity and profanity the entertainment media is throwing at your children.” Or more succinctly put, “We want our children to have the best chance possible of living in a moral society.”

So it might come as no surprise that The Muppets TV series, which has been described as having a more adult-skewed tone than previous Muppet stories, has the organization in uproar because the show apparently makes nonchalant jokes about sex and drugs. Find out more about One Million Moms boycotting The Muppets below.

In an e-mail sent out to all their subscribers, members and followers, which they also posted on their website, the organization says of The Muppets:

“ABC hopes children watch the show and predict they would enjoy some of the humor, but 1MM would disagree. It is not the show it once was. ABC has ruined “The Muppets.” How many parents want to explain the punchline of sexually charged jokes to young children?

Many parents unknowingly will let their children watch an episode only to find out its perverted nature too late, unless they are alerted ahead of time. 1MM and others need to get the word out to families to avoid this program at all costs.”


Somewhere even Jesus is saying "don't you people have anything better to do?"

Volkswagen Allegedly Cheated On US Emission Tests According To EPA Probe

WASHINGTON — The Obama administration on Friday directed Volkswagen to recall nearly a half-million cars, saying the automaker illegally installed software in its diesel-power cars to evade standards for reducing smog.

The Environmental Protection Agency accused the German automaker of using software to detect when the car is undergoing its periodic state emissions testing. Only during such tests are the cars’ full emissions control systems turned on. During normal driving situations, the controls are turned off, allowing the cars to spew as much as 40 times as much pollution as allowed under the Clean Air Act, the E.P.A. said.

“We expected better from Volkswagen,” said Cynthia Giles, the E.P.A.’s assistant administrator for the Office of Enforcement and Compliance. She called the automaker’s actions “a threat to public health.”

Agency officials issued the car company a notice of violation and said it had admitted to the use of a so-called defeat device. The recall involves 4-cylinder Volkswagen and Audi vehicles from model years 2009-15.

A spokeswoman for Volkswagen confirmed that the company had received the notice and said the automaker was cooperating with the investigation. She declined to comment further on the case.

The software was designed to conceal the cars’ emission of the pollutant nitrogen oxide, which contributes to the creation of ozone and smog. The pollutants are linked to a range of health problems, including asthma attacks, other respiratory diseases and premature death.

Experts in automotive technology said that disengaging the pollution controls on a diesel-fueled car can yield better performance, including increased torque and acceleration.


Really Dumb Criminals: Would Be Bank Robber Attempts To Deposit Cash Into Own Account

This has to be one of the stupidest bank robbers ever.

Paul Neaverson, 61, walked in to a branch of NatWest in Rainham, Kent and held a knife to the cashier’s neck.

However he was caught out when he asked the clerk to transfer the money in to his own bank account.

And why did he do it? Because he needed money to book a flight to Corfu for a job interview as a golf coach. Of course.
bank.jpg Bungling bank robber who held a knife to the neck of a terrified cashier is caught - after giving his OWN bank details and asking for the cash to be transferred Paul Neaverson, 61, walked in Natwest branch in Rainham, Kent with knife
The scene of the robbery (Picture: Google)

Maidstone Crown Court heard that during the terrifying raid the cashier managed to hit the panic button.

Neaverson fled, but undeterred, he only went as far as the HSBC just 400ft away where tried to hold up that bank too.


Rock Band Survivor Unhappy With Use Of "Eye Of The Tiger" At Kim Davis Rally

(CNN)The use of "Eye of the Tiger" at a rally for Kentucky clerk Kim Davis has Survivor's Jim Peterik "risin' up to the challenge" -- and threatening action.

Peterik, who co-wrote the stirring "Rocky III" theme song, is upset that Davis emerged from jail Tuesday to the strains of his song. Davis, the Rowan County clerk, had been held in contempt of court for refusing to issue same-sex marriage licenses.

"I have not authorized the use of Eye of the Tiger for use by Kim Davis and my publisher will issue a C&D (cease and desist order). This does not reflect my views," Peterik wrote on Twitter.


Iron Maiden Unveils Ed Force One 2016

Bruce Dickinson comments,
“When the opportunity arose from my friends at Air Atlanta Icelandic to lease a 747 for The Book of Souls World Tour, of course we jumped at the chance, who wouldn’t? The greatest benefit of travelling in a 747 is that because of its colossal size and freight capacity we can carry our stage production and all our stage equipment and desks in the cargo hold without having to make any of the immense structural modifications needed to do this on the previous 757, the extent of which fans will have noted on the Flight 666 DVD. Although in reality we cannot carry much more gear the savings in complexity, time and cost make using the 747 even more practical. All we will need to do is “paint” it and move a few seats around, with the added advantage that there is much more room for band and crew – our Krew can almost get a row of seats each to catch up on sleep on the flights! Furthermore, it is marginally faster 0.85 MACH and the range of around 7000NM (13,000 km) is much greater which means we will not have to make the refuelling stops we needed to with the 757.

“However, even though we have worked out the logistics of taking a plane of that immense size out on tour, I still have to learn to fly it before we can go anywhere! So, I’m currently doing my training to qualify as a pilot and Captain on a Boeing 747. I’m doing this at Cardiff Aviation, my aircraft maintenance facility in Wales, where we recently took possession of a rather splendid 747 simulator which I can’t wait to get practising on!

“We’re all really excited at the thought of bringing our brand new tour to fans who have never seen us play live before, and of course re-visiting all our old friends again too. You can rest assured we are all working hard to put together a spectacular show for our fans.”


Bill Maher Presents: The 2016 Billionaire Buyer's Guide To The GOP

Josh Duggar Used "Random Guy" For OK Cupid Profile, Random Guy Plans Suit

The “random guy” whose image the embattled Josh Duggar used on his alleged OkCupid account is “considering his legal options” and says Duggar’s use of his photo is causing him problems.

On Wednesday, Gawker revealed that Duggar, an anti-LGBT activist and former director of the Family Research Council had two paid accounts with Ashley Madison, a website dedicated to helping people cheat on their spouses.

Twitter users googled his Ashley Madison handle, “joesmithsonnwa@gmail.com,” and found an OkCupid profile using the same email address.

But the profile picture on the dating website is not of Duggar. It’s reportedly Matthew McCarthy, a Hollywood-based DJ and bartender. McCarthy’s image is the third one pulled up on Google with the search term “random guy.”


I don't know what is sadder - the fact that Josh is a serial cheater or that he's not creative enough to come up with his own image to use in an online dating profile so he has to Google "random guy"? You can't make this shit up sometimes!
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