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me b zola

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Member since: Thu Nov 11, 2004, 09:06 PM
Number of posts: 18,019

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We are not what we seem….


We are not what we seem…

Dr. Phil had posted this on his Facebook page about 48 hours ago:

“Working on a show: Should a birth mother retain visitation rights to a child she chose to place for adoption?”

Well, that post has garnered over 14,000 comments and nearly 550 shares….in 48 hours. I have been watching what has been said on that one post since roughly 3 hours after it was posted…. And I am absolutely blown away by what people are saying. Comments referring to relinquishing mothers as “not a mother”, “dysfunctional teen agers”, and a new one for me… “a birthing pod and not a birthing mother”. I have seen them refer to adoptees as “somethings”, “bought and paid for”, and “belonging to” their adoptive parents….their “real mom and dad”. They have called adoptees “chosen”, “lucky”, “special”, and “gifts”. It is enough to make the strongest adoptee or natural mom sick to their stomachs and the weakest end up curled into a fetal position in bed. Talk about a triggering conversation!

We want to believe we are so progressive these days….that society is filled with people who think better of each other…who want peace and love to abound…who understand we are all the same on the inside and we are all equal. Wow! We are SO WRONG! We are still in the dark ages! Like the 1980s group Tears for Fears sang (I heard that one on the radio today)… “…turn your back on mother nature…Everybody wants to rule the world.”

We all want to think that the Baby Scoop Era of the 1950s through the 1970s is so far in the past… that we will never go back there…. but I am not so sure anymore. I think we could see a return to that sentiment at any time…and it scares me. If these kinds of people “ruled the world” there would be no end to the pain and dysfunction because they cannot see the big picture… “married with a lack of vision”. I really thought sentiment had changed…that moms who relinquish were largely no longer thought of as shameful, dysfunctional, twisted, selfish women who refused to keep to societal norms and decency, and who needed to be punished for their wayward ways….AND BOY WAS I MISTAKEN. I saw enough people writing comments that basically expressed sentiment of wanting to punish them to last me a thousand lifetimes! That sentiment is absolutely shamefully alive and well and living in society at large (at least among what I must assume are watchers of the Dr. Phil show).

~more @ link~

https://orphanedheart.wordpress.com/2015/02/25/we-are-not-what-we-seem/


It is alarming the things that people say to adoptees and to and about mothers of loss. On one hand you see people begging on line for women to relinquish their children, promising that they will be exalted or something, on the other hand is the reality of how they are treated (once the adoption agencies have their hands on the infants). And be an adoptee who dares to speak about our experience and/or feelings and sweet Jesus, we go from being the "chosen" child to ingrate.

I am very proud of the younger generation coming up that speaks up and out.

Memorial event remembers women incarcerated in Magdalene laundries



Memorial event remembers women incarcerated in Magdalene laundries

MEMBERS OF THE public gathered today in Glasnevin Cemetery in Dublin, to remember and honour all of the women who were incarcerated in the Magdalene laundries.

The annual Flowers for Magdalene event was attended by many who came bearing flowers to place on the graves.

Survivors

Speaking at the remembrance event Sinn Féin Deputy Leader Mary LouMcDonald said that it was one year after Taoiseach Enda Kenny’s apology to the Magdalene survivors and still many surviving women have been excluded from the redress scheme and just a fifth of the eligible women have yet to receive their payments, she said.

~snip~

“The nuns have still not apologised, nor will they contribute to the compensation fund,” added McDonald, stating the women should not have to suffer further due to additional delays in the restorative justice process.

~more @ link~
http://www.thejournal.ie/magdalene-laundries-memeorial-glasnevin-1341282-Mar2014/#slide-slideshow7


They have not begun the process of apologizing for the children that were stolen from the Irish mothers and sold to be legally adopted.

Chinese police bust four major baby trafficking rings rescuing 382 abducted infants


Chinese police bust four major baby trafficking rings rescuing 382 abducted infants and arresting nearly 2,000 suspects



Hundreds of babies have been rescued by police in China after a crackdown was launched on trafficking infants.

The nationwide bust saw 1,094 people arrested as officers acted on information relating to four major internet-based baby trafficking rings.

China's Public Security Ministry said 382 babies were rescued after four websites were found to be selling children under the guise of adoption.

~snip~

Hundreds of babies have been rescued by police in China after a crackdown was launched on trafficking infants.

The nationwide bust saw 1,094 people arrested as officers acted on information relating to four major internet-based baby trafficking rings.

China's Public Security Ministry said 382 babies were rescued after four websites were found to be selling children under the guise of adoption.

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2570484/Chinese-police-bust-four-major-baby-trafficking-rings-rescuing-382-abducted-children-arresting-nearly-2-000-suspects.html#ixzz3QWVQOg3V
Follow us: @MailOnline on Twitter | DailyMail on Facebook



If this story isn't sick enough, read the comment section, where people opine that they would love to take one of the trafficked babies for their own, or the suggestion that adoption laws should be more lax.

Procuring infants and young children for people who desire them is big busine$$, and the black market has always had their hand in the cookie jar.

Home> International American to Face Trial in Guatemala Adoption Case



American to Face Trial in Guatemala Adoption Case
GUATEMALA CITY — Jan 8, 2015, 6:46 PM ET
Associated Press

A Guatemalan court has ordered an American woman to stand trial on charges of participating in illegal adoptions.

The prosecutors' office for human trafficking says the court found sufficient evidence to try Nancy Susan Bailey, who is being treated for high blood pressure at a Guatemalan hospital.

Bailey was apprehended in El Salvador and turned over to Guatemalan authorities at the border between the two Central American countries Dec. 17.

The arrest warrant for Bailey was issued in 2008 and charged her with taking children and putting them up for illegal adoption for fees as high as $40,000.

Bailey founded the orphanage Seeds of Love outside Guatemala's capital in 1996.

Guatemala's International Commission Against Impunity said in a 2010 report that it found 3,342 irregular adoptions, mostly to U.S. couples.


This, unfortunately is not that uncommon among inter county adoptions. It is true, though, that most inter country adoptions "launder" the children to make them seem legal. The reality is that almost every one of these children has family who loves and wants them.

If adoptee where given the right to their own name and family histories child trafficking would significantly decrease. Become involved. Demand human rights for adopted people.

Adoptees "Flip The Script" on National Adoption Month** (Extended Version) ** Please watch-Important

Earlier I posted an abbreviated video on this subject. This video is extended and explains so much in such a short period of time. I could write a post on what each of the women in this video say, I agree to the tee with all of them and would love to expand. If only people actually wanted to hear from adoptees when speaking about adoption...



The conversations that could come from this could be numerous and insightful beyond words. Easy to break down into smaller conversations, and easy for commenter's here to jump into the conversation~you just have to be willing.

Emotional Hearing from Mother and Baby Homes Delegation


~snip~

Illegal adoption practices including forced separation of mothers from children, vaccine trials on children without consent, and forced labour in terrible conditions were just some of the human rights abuses highlighted at today's hearing.

Several women present were able to give affecting first-hand accounts of their experiences. Particularly disturbing were descriptions of children being forcibly "kidnapped" from their mothers and sold on what was essentially an "adoption market"


~snip~

The audience also heard from individuals who had been born in to "Mother and Baby Homes". Despite having mothers who wanted them they were treated as orphans and spent the early years of their life in some of Irelands Industrial Schools, many being subjected to both physical and sexual abuse. Others from the Bethany Home Group told of being "farmed out" to work as child labourers.

The Irish State has also been putting many barriers in place for those who wish to track down their parents and siblings whom they were separated from at birth. The documents and records necessary are currently being held by the HSE yet victims are being told they will have to wait 4-8 years before they will have access.

~more @ link~
http://www.sinnfein.ie/contents/31417


THIS is women's history. This is NOT a thing of the past, it just has a happier face slapped on it now. Poor and at risk mothers deserve to mother their children, not be preyed upon by a multi-billion dollar adoption industry.





Comment: Money, fertility tourism and the new human trafficking




5 Aug 2014 - 2:30pm

Comment: Money, fertility tourism and the new human trafficking
The popularity of fertility tourism shows that the world can still devise unique ways to literally sell a woman’s body to the highest bidder.
By Amy Gray

~snip~
Fertility tourism is a growing global industry, bringing in over $400 million a year in India alone. For the right price, people can buy IVF treatments, donated eggs and sperm along with a surrogate mother. The clients are often white and rich. The suppliers pressed into service are often neither.

As always, the most powerful people will always be those with the most money but the question must be asked: what are they buying and is it ethical? By using money and vulnerability as a means to coerce women into exploitative service, fertility tourism is an abuse of power that reduces the trafficked from people into produce.

Based on the UN’s definition of human trafficking, fertility tourism often results in human trafficking by recruiting people by through coercion, twisting power and vulnerability and giving payments that result in physical exploitation.

According to Janbua, already a mother, the surrogacy fees promised were 350,000 baht (A$11,669) which far exceeded the 20,000 baht (A$666) she and her husband struggled to live off every month. Janbua entered into the agreement by the force of poverty, telling reporters “my husband agreed because we didn't have money to pay our debt". She also claims she has not been fully paid.

She’s not alone.

As an industry that relies on the labour of women, it doesn’t always treat them well. In India, women’s groups are campaigning against deceptive agents pressing young women into service and signing contracts they can’t read. Many surrogate mothers are separated from their families to live in quarantined hostels with other women while others go into seclusion fearing social shame. There are cases of women dying during childbirth. This is the reality hidden from the pristine white clinics and smiling hosts promoted on websites.

~more at link~
http://www.sbs.com.au/news/article/2014/08/05/comment-money-fertility-tourism-and-new-human-trafficking


Goodness I wish I could post the entire article.
The final paragraph and the last sentence certainly speak loudly~but who will choose to hear?

DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM~ from a survivor of the Irish homes for girls


DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM

"Do you know who I am
Does the drifting winds carry my scent....
Do you know who I am.
I am here by your side."

They say live with your pain..
I had felt it in my heart where it had closed these emotions down......

Then today I heard it again...
"Do you know who I am....
Does the drifting winds carry my scent."

And I walk by the ocean blue...
The sky edging the deep afar.....
I breath deeply and there is a scent....
I once knew......
I hold my chest in pain... and sob so loudly........
Deep inside as I rock back and forth.....
I feel your love...
A warm hand cradling my head......

A love I recognised.......
It was now coming to the surface.
I breath deeply again....
A whisper of tender love I hear...
All my surroundings not even there....

A lightness inside my head; a fear;
Dare I faint right here.....
I slowly walk...
Now fallen upon the sand..

With a tissue I wipe my brow and cheeks......
Theres a powerful stirring inside my heart;
Its alive again!
Right there and then my heart lay open......
And I saw you!
You were there all the time.
Behind that door as a small child I had closed...
So many years I had not looked byond......
Protected by my inner child such love lay safe and sound.

The ocean waves now rolling a vigiours tide
Waves full of white foaming bubbles in sounds and gurgles......
They carried two spirits today.........
A wonderous sight....
So beautiful was such love of
Yours and mine alone.....

I waste no more days...
But I now fight For you my Mammy....
For the Irish Legislation to change it ways....
And to give Irish mammies and their babies justice and peace.

Thank you mammy for being with me....
But I also know that you need to be free......
Free to rest peacefully......
Go now my sweet beautiful Mammy.....
And I will do my best.

Written by maria ann cahill
©2014

~posted in full with permission from the author~

Maria is a fb friend of mine and a tireless advocate on behalf of adoptees and mothers of loss. She had her daughter taken from her from an Irish home for girls, but she is now in reunion. Her daughter also works to have the UN do a proper investigation of the crimes committed in Ireland.

I am thrilled that the movie, Philomena was made. But you know we are all aging, when will the story of American girls/women be made? I want justice, but right now just the telling of our stories~and people actually hearing what we say~will go a long way.

I know we have some screenwriters here. I beg you to read, 'The Girls Who Went Away' by Ann Fessler and see if it doesn't move you to work with her to get our stories out.

When you can't find a birth record


We all know the importance of finding documentation about the facts we put into our family tree. But, what happens when you can't find the records you need? Join Crista Cowan for a look at alternative places to find birth information.

This event happens on July 22nd @ 1 pm EDT (10:00 am PDT).

Click JOIN here to RSVP for the event and receive reminders via Facebook.
https://www.facebook.com/events/658271750924149/?sf3805043=1

Jean Paton and the Struggle to Reform American Adoption -

Jean Paton and the Struggle to Reform American Adoption

One woman’s tireless crusade for better understanding and social justice for adopted people -

Description


Adoption activist Jean Paton (1908–2002) fought tirelessly to reform American adoption, dedicating her life to overcoming American society’s prejudices against adult adoptees and women who give birth out of wedlock. From the 1950s until the time of her death, Paton wrote widely and passionately about the adoption experience, corresponded with policymakers as well as individual adoptees, promoted the psychological well-being of adoptees, and facilitated reunions between adoptees and their birth parents.

She also led the struggle to re-open adoption records, creating a national movement that continues to this day. While “open adoption” is often now the rule for adoptions within the United States, for those in earlier eras, adopted in secrecy, the records remain sealed; many adoptees live (and die) without vital information that should be a birthright, and birth parents suffer a similar deprivation. At this writing, only seven of fifty states have open records. (Kansas and Alaska have never closed theirs.)

E. Wayne Carp’s masterful biography of Jean Paton brings this neglected civil-rights pioneer and her accomplishments into the light. Paton’s ceaseless activity created the preconditions for the explosive emergence of the adoption reform movement in the 1970s. She founded the Life History Study Center and Orphan Voyage and was also instrumental in forming two of the movement’s most vital organizations, Concerned United Birthparents and the American Adoption Congress. Her unflagging efforts over five decades helped reverse social workers’ harmful policy and practice concerning adoption and sealed adoption records and change lawmakers’ enactment of laws prejudicial to adult adoptees and birth mothers, struggles that continue to this day.

Read more about Jean Paton at http://jeanpaton.com/
- See more at: http://www.press.umich.edu/6242018/jean_paton_and_the_struggle_to_reform_american_adoption#sthash.5SrUT9HD.dpuf

- See more at: http://www.press.umich.edu/6242018/jean_paton_and_the_struggle_to_reform_american_adoption#sthash.5SrUT9HD.dpuf




So you say you care about human & civil rights?

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