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Mira

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Member since: Thu Oct 21, 2004, 06:06 PM
Number of posts: 17,092

Journal Archives

An Apology from Prince Charles we would not know about without Andy Borowitz



LONDON (The Borowitz Report) – In response to the international uproar created when he reportedly compared Russian President Vladimir Putin to Hitler, His Royal Highness Prince Charles today issued the following letter of apology to the Russian people.

My dear Russians,

Yesterday, it was reported that I compared your President Putin to Hitler. If by making this comment I have in some way offended you, I am deeply sorry. Adolf Hitler was one of the horrible villains in world history, and comparing President Putin to him was uncalled for.

What I should have said, and what I say to you now, is that this Putin chap can be a bit Hitlery at times.

Let’s take, for example, his penchant for taking territory that doesn’t belong to him and then adding it to his country and so forth. Would you call that behavior Hitlery or not Hitlery? From where I sit, it’s more like something Hitler would do than something he wouldn’t do, and so the verdict must be, yes, the chap is being rather Hitlery when he does that.

And, while we’re on the subject, what about Putin’s use of tanks? Also very Hitlery. Again, let me be clear: I am not calling him Hitler—but if you think you can use tanks and not come off a tad bit Hitlery, you’re not right in the head.

Since I made my remarks, some British politicians have suggested that I abdicate my position as Prince of Wales and heir to the British throne. In other words, they believe that I do not have the right to free speech. If memory serves, back in the nineteen-thirties another chap went around trying to punish people for speaking their minds. I’m not going to name names, but if the shoe fits…

Yours truly,

H.R.H. Prince Charles



www.borowitzreport.com

Just when you thought it was safe……..(Matson cartoon)



adding a favorite visual

<<<<SPRING Contest submissions start on May 24th - Saturday>>>>>

Let's gear up and find the entry that says "Spring" to you this year.
We are hopefully going to fill it up in a week.
I must start the contest on the first of June - and run a tight ship with it because I have some other commitments in June, and also because that way we will be out of the way when the June contest will start happening.

The May contest, now in progress, filled up to capacity. That made me happy.
Let's do it again with the Seasonal contest for Spring.


Solly Mack is out of surgery: 3:15 Wed./and is in ICU

Her husband told me she is doing as well as can be expected, and that he would let us know about her progress one more time tomorrow.

We can exhale now.

Wednesday - May 14th / Think of Solly Mack today ... a reminder, and it can be a silent one

Today is her surgery. Let us send prayers, say prayers, ask others to think of her, send white light, and purple light and be mindful of this ordeal she has to go through.

Let's hold her in our collective conscious.
It helps and has been known to work miracles.

If I hear anything tomorrow or so, I will pass it on.
It will probably be a while before I do.

Time for National Conversation About Post-Gala Violence, Experts Say and so does Borowitz




NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report)—Experts are calling for a national conversation about post-gala violence, which many say is a growing epidemic among America’s wealthiest gala attendees.
Dr. Davis Logsdon, who, for the past decade, has been studying post-gala violence at the University of Minnesota, says that a national conversation about post-gala skirmishes is “long overdue.”
“For years, post-gala violence has been America’s dirty little secret,” he says. “The media haven’t covered it, and government has offered no solutions. That’s why this moment is such a valuable wake-up call.”port.com
Dr. Logsdon says that the key to preventing post-gala violence is “first understanding its root causes.”
“Galas are very stressful situations,” he says. “Attendees have spent thousands on gowns and spa treatments, and tens of thousands more on silent-auction items. All of that pressure has to go somewhere. More often than not, it erupts into violence.”
He credits the national media, especially TMZ, for finally shining a light on one of the nation’s biggest problems.
“As regrettable as this incident was, if it results in people talking seriously about post-gala violence, it will all have been worth it,” he says.


www.borowitzreport.com

I need to borrow - or be given to - an old TOUPEE

I am serious.
I'm getting ready to be part of the crew in www.48hourfilm.com
we're making a movie for the City of Greensboro.

The screen writer has informed me we need a toupee, the cheesier the better, and part of my job is to secure props and costumes.

Help?!
Anyone?
Goodwill won't do for this one.
pm me if you can help

Groundbreaking, must see TV is "Vice" = please read and maybe learn about it

I'm writing to thank the ones who bring it to me, because it does what others could do and don't.

Every time I see this show, which is a half hour divided into two stories of 15 min. ea.

(on HBO Fri. 11pm to 11:30, produced by Bill Maher, and phenomenally and courageously filmed and presented by Shane Smith and many others
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vice_%28TV_series%29)

I am slack-jawed, wide-eyed, sitting up with a straight spine, wishing all of America could/would see it, and am augmented and educated and wrung out emotionally.

There may be smidgeons of knowledge in me on some of these topics, and then the show hones in and gives me the dope. Or I sit up and pay attention to brand new stuff.
There are political and social issues explored in areas of the world we don't hear about / think about / or even know about. And every time the show is over my ignorance overwhelms me and that's why I am writing this.

I will sit and feel both cheated and sad. Because my eyes were pried open to be exposed to something real in the world that has previously not been presented to me. Every time my mind is called on to pay attention to happenings that are more than important.
That's the being cheated part.

The sad part of course is that there is - and I comment now on tonight's segment about Papua /New Guinea - so much political intrigue and subterfuge and cheating of natives going on, and without this show we would never know. Their objections to fracking and the destruction of their land for the sake of satiating the energy thirst of the world brings them nothing but dislocation and having their land savaged. The money as in the US of A, goes to the top.

What we don't know about our world is monumental - our focus as presented in our own TV (Bengazhi….this week, anyway)
is ridiculous. Tiny. It in no way benefits and elevates and evolves and educates the American people.

I feel a bit silly here to be maudlin in my emotion as I praise a TV show. It's more than deserved.
"Vice" recognizes that we the people can easily rise to being thought of as smart and that bringing us the things we need to know rounds us out as citizens of the World who know that we are all connected.

I'm augmented by the above mentioned folks for letting me glimpse the huge world I am a citizen of and I want to thank them.

Borowitz Poll:Millions of Americans Who Need Jobs Want Congress to Get to Bottom of Benghazi Thing



WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Millions of unemployed Americans who have fruitlessly been looking for work for months are determined that Congress get to the bottom of what happened in Benghazi, a new poll indicates.
According to the survey, job-seeking Americans hope that Congress will eventually do something about job creation, but they are adamant that it hold new hearings about Benghazi first.
By a wide majority, respondents to the poll “strongly agreed” with the statement “I would really like to find a job, but not if it in any way distracts Congress from my No. 1 concern: finding out what really happened in Benghazi.”
In related findings, a survey of Americans found that taxpayers overwhelmingly consider Benghazi hearings to be the best use of taxpayer money, well ahead of schools, roads, and infant nutrition.
In the House of Representatives, Speaker John Boehner released the following statement: “I want to reassure the American people that, until we have completed our Benghazi investigations, there will be absolutely no action
on job creation, infrastructure, immigration, education, housing, or food.”


www.borowitzreport.com

Some things are simply funny. Here is one of them.

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