HomeLatest ThreadsGreatest ThreadsForums & GroupsMy SubscriptionsMy Posts
DU Home » Latest Threads » Mira » Journal
Page: « Prev 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 ... 136 Next »

Mira

Profile Information

Gender: Do not display
Member since: Thu Oct 21, 2004, 05:06 PM
Number of posts: 19,915

Journal Archives

Queen Offers to Restore British Rule Over United States - as told to Andy Borowitz





LONDON (The Borowitz Report)—In an unexpected televised address on Saturday, Queen Elizabeth II offered to restore British rule over the United States of America.

Addressing the American people from her office in Buckingham Palace, the Queen said that she was making the offer “in recognition of the desperate situation you now find yourselves in.”

“This two-hundred-and-forty-year experiment in self-rule began with the best of intentions, but I think we can all agree that it didn’t end well,” she said.

The Queen urged Americans to write in her name on Election Day, after which the transition to British rule could begin “with a minimum of bother.”

Elizabeth acknowledged that, in the wake of Brexit, Americans might justifiably be alarmed about being governed by the British parliamentary system, but she reassured them, “Parliament would play no role in this deal. This would be an old-school monarchy. Just me, and then, assuming you’d rather not have Charles, we could go straight to William and those children of his who have mesmerized you so.”

Using the closing moments of her speech to tout her credentials, the Queen made it clear that she has never used e-mail and has only had sex with one person “very occasionally.”

www.borowitzreport.com

Comey Praises Brave F.B.I. Agents Who Had to Touch Anthony Weiner’s Computer —Borowitz



WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—James Comey, the embattled director of the Federal Bureau of Investigation, presided over a special ceremony on Friday evening to commend the brave F.B.I. agents who had to touch Anthony Weiner’s computer.

In awarding the commendations to the agents, whom Comey called “the bravest men and women this country has to offer,” the F.B.I. director criticized the political uproar that he said had overshadowed “their selfless acts of heroism.”

“These agents have performed far and beyond the call of duty,” a visibly angry Comey said. “I know we’re eleven days away from an election and tensions are running high, but we shouldn’t let that subtract in any way from what these brave agents did with their own hands.”

“Who among us could look at ourselves in the mirror and say, ‘I have what it takes to touch Anthony Weiner’s computer’?” Comey asked. “I know I sure as hell couldn’t.”

Harland Dorrinson, one of the agents who received the official commendation, acknowledged that touching Weiner’s computer was “the toughest mission I’ve been on” since signing up with the F.B.I. “I spent two weeks undercover in El Chapo’s drug cartel, and this was much scarier,” he said.

www.borowitzreport.com

Bill Maher landed President Obama ----- he just told it ----- next week

Do you remember he had a petition for his 60th birthday and begged him to come on - and apparently the begging worked.

Updated to include the link that I just got by email:

https://petitions.whitehouse.gov/petition/ask-president-obama-appear-hbos-real-time-bill-maher#update

Bill Maher tonight 10 pm EST / HBO ---Repeat at 11:30 EST - LINEUP:

Van Jones, Michael Moore, Kristen Soltis Anderson, Former Rep. Rick Lazio and Chelsea Handler

I remember Michael Moore and Bill Maher shaking hands on a pact to antagonize Donald J. Trump by making fun of him, because that is what gets under the thin skin of the "whiny little bitch" the most.
I will watch for it with happy anticipatation, and hope they find some time to do just that.
But I also hope Michael Moore gets to discuss his one week old one man show "Michael Moore in Trumpland" --- available on itunes.

Best Button I saw today at the at least 14 000 folks rally with Hillary and Michelle

RNC
GOP
WTF

The crowd in Winston-Salem NC was energized. Hillary Clinton and Michelle Obama were a wondrous team to witness.
There was no heckling, no demonstrating.

I saw ONE person with a TRUMP shirt. About 28 / male / strong / handsome.
I said to him: “Are there more of you?” —he smiled and said “I hope so”. I smiled back “I don’t, but welcome anyway”.







And Deborah Ross, our hope for a new Senator to unseat Richard Burr



Nation Unsure It Can Tolerate Thirteen More Days of Rudy Giuliani- reveals Andy Borowitz





NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report)—With thirteen days until his scheduled return to oblivion, many Americans are unsure if they can tolerate that much additional exposure to Rudy Giuliani, a leading psychologist said on Wednesday.

As millions of Americans actively count down the days until Giuliani disappears forever, thirteen more days of him “seems like a lifetime,” Davis Logsdon, a psychologist who has been studying the Giuliani ordeal, said.

“Americans’ traumatic experience of Rudy Giuliani in 2016 has gone through several phases,” Logsdon said. “First, they struggled to remember who he was. Then, once they remembered, they recoiled in horror. Finally, they began actively wishing he would go away forever. That is the phase many people find themselves in today.”

Even as they long for the day when Giuliani resumes his rightful place in obscurity, many Americans are experiencing feelings of anger and disbelief that he was permitted to crawl back into their consciousness to begin with, Logsdon said.

“Of the many inexcusable things that cable news has done this election, repeatedly subjecting Americans to Rudy Giuliani is at the top of the list,” he said. “The human cost has been enormous.”



www.borowitzreport.com

Rachel is telling it now "I don’t rent to the N Word” quoting Fred Trump with Donald listening in

Fred Trump’s rental agent tells details of discrimination against Blacks, Rachel is showing a video of his statements. Stanley Leibowitz, the agent, tells this was a direct quote of Fred Trump while Donald Trump stood next to him listening in. Fred told the agent to put the applications from black people in the drawer and ignore them. And Donald agreed with his father.

Michael Moore in Trumpland, and my opinion and feedback---please read if you are interested in it

Trumpland

First, let me put out to you I am a fan of Michael Moore since he first came out with Roger and Me. In my movie collection there is a special shelf for his work, and if ever I can find a way to corner him and propose I will do so. I have been single since I was divorced at age 33, and that was just the right length of time ago for me to consider trying marriage one more time, and this time to the right person.

Now: Trumpland.
I think it's a little over an hour. Seems like 15 minutes. You buy it on itunes for about 5 bucks, and then you have it in your library.

The brilliance, like in all his work, is how he carefully, humorously and with deadly aim makes his points. The path to his ultimate end of: "No matter how you feel about Hillary you have one vote and one conscience and one responsibility: get in your car, hold the right hand with your left if necessary (or vice versa) and vote for her" Your life and your country depends on it, is a path where he includes a clip of what the first 30 days or so would be like in a Trump administration, and he likens it to Brexit and a potential American desperation to undo the vote.

He says he has not voted for Hillary, (Bernie fan) or Bill (Nader). He says, as he stands there in front of splendid photos that are billboards of the Hillary we know in her youth and activism, that she may not even see his show (though, somebody, surely, will give her a copy he muses).
He leans in hard into an audience of pro Trump people in a town that has very few Democrats, and he makes all the points and hears their pain of why they want change and why they want a rebel like Trump to bring it about. He brings Pope Francis into the picture, reminds us of all the cardinals who voted for him and little did they know they were unleashing a revolution of positive and unprecedented change that had lain dormant. And he says it is possible our vote for Hillary may bring about similar potentialities, and he names them.

And then he encourages the haters of Hillary to find a good hair on her, and manages to slowly but surely in a brilliant and unobtrusive way to start the stoned faced audience to relax and start smiling. Then he takes them through Hillary Clinton's hard times as a first lady and reminds them of all the scandals and persecutions she has come through, all the while looking out for us, the American people. He shows them how tough she was to kill Vince Foster by jacking up the car before breakfast, writing that suicide note, placing it in his hand, and arriving at the White House without ever being missed. He shows how she was in Estonia as FLOTUS interviewing doctors on their phenomenal record of low infant births in order to bring that skill to the US of A and how it all was dug under the rug and destroyed by the hatred of those who had no alternative but chastized her for doing a job she was not elected for.

Slowly but surely Michael Moore has them eating out of his hand.

Please
do yourself a 5 dollar favor, and see this film. I showed it to my grandson (24) tonight and he was very moved at the end.

The very end, where Michael Moore says: let's dig up Vince Foster and kill him again, and allow her to be the tough first lady we need and she has been waiting to be.

Trump’s Business credit score is as tiny as his hands ----19 out of a possible 100

Debate season has brought about quite a bit of talk about how Donald Trump runs his businesses and how the Clinton Foundation gets its donor dollars. Nav, a business score education organization, decided to run business credit scores for both The Trump Organization and the Clinton Foundation.

The Trump Organization’s Business Credit Score

According to Nav, The Trump Organization, Inc.’s business credit score is a 19 out of 100 as of Sept. 23, 2016, which puts it below the national average score by more than 30 points. The Nav report said the score indicates the Trump Organization “is very likely to default on its credit payments” and that “this will make it difficult to get financing.” It puts Trump’s Organization in a “medium-to-high risk” category.



for details go here:
http://www.foxbusiness.com/politics/2016/10/20/trumps-business-credit-score-is-19-out-possible-100.html

Wait for it...the next few tweet volleys will be epic

Go to Page: « Prev 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 ... 136 Next »