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FINALLY: G.O.P. unveils immigration plan as told by Andy Borowitz

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell unveiled his party’s long-awaited plan on immigration on Wednesday, telling reporters, “We must make America somewhere no one wants to live.”

Appearing with House Speaker John Boehner, McConnell said that, in contrast to President Obama’s “Band-Aid fixes,” the Republican plan would address “the root cause of immigration, which is that the United States is, for the most part, habitable.”

“For years, immigrants have looked to America as a place where their standard of living was bound to improve,” McConnell said. “We’re going to change that.”
Boehner said that the Republicans’ plan would reduce or eliminate “immigration magnets,” such as the social safety net, public education, clean air, and drinkable water.

The Speaker added that the plan would also include the repeal of Obamacare, calling healthcare “catnip for immigrants.”

Attempting, perhaps, to tamp down excitement about the plan, McConnell warned that turning America into a dystopian hellhole that repels immigrants “won’t happen overnight.”

“Our crumbling infrastructure and soaring gun violence are a good start, but much work still needs to be done,” he said. “When Americans start leaving the country, we’ll know that we’re on the right track.”

In closing, the two congressional leaders expressed pride in the immigration plan, noting that Republicans had been working to make it possible for the past thirty years.


Lineup of guests on Real time with Bill Maher tonight 10pm HBO

The Interview:

Rand Paul
is thejunior U.S. Senator for Kentucky and serves on the Health, Education, Labor, and Pensions, Homeland Security and Governmental Affairs, Small Business and Entrepreneurship, and Foreign Relations Committees. On Monday, Senator Paul wrote an opinion piece in the Daily Beast saying President Obama’s ISIS War is Illegal.

The Panel:

Margaret Hoover
is a CNN political contributor and author of American Individualism: How a New Generation of Conservatives Can Save the Republican Party. Hoover is also the founder and president of American Unity Fund .

Andrew Sullivan is the Blogger-in-Chief at The Dish. Read “What Washington Refuses to Admit” about America’s recent past.

Jeremy Scahill
is the co-founding editor of First Look Media’s TheIntercept.org and author of Dirty Wars: The World is a Battlefield. Read “Blackwater Founder Remains Free and Rich While His Former Employees Go down on Murder Charges.”

Mid-Show Guest:

Martin Short
joins Bill to discuss his book I Must Say: My Life as a Humble Comedy Legend.He currently co-stars in the FOX’s newsitcom “Mulaney,” and will soon be stepping into the Broadway production of “It’s Only a Play.”

Obama Plans to Protect Up to 5 Million From Deportation, Aides Say

Source: http://www.nytimes.com/2014/11/14/us/obama-immigra

BREAKING NEWS Thursday, November 13, 2014 12:17 PM EST
Obama Plans to Protect Up to 5 Million From Deportation, Aides Say
President Obama will ignore angry protests from Republicans and announce as soon as next week a broad overhaul of the nation’s immigration enforcement system that will protect up to five million undocumented immigrants from the threat of deportation and provide many of them with work permits, according to administration officials who have direct knowledge of the plan.
Asserting his authority as president to enforce the nation’s laws with discretion, Mr. Obama intends to order changes that will significantly refocus the activities of the government’s 12,000 immigration agents. One key piece of the order, officials said, will allow many parents of children who are American citizens or legal residents to obtain legal work documents and no longer worry about being discovered, separated from their families and sent away.
That part of Mr. Obama’s plan alone could affect as many as 3.3 million people who have been living in the United States illegally for at least five years, according to an analysis by the Migration Policy Institute, an immigration research organization in Washington. But the White House is also considering a stricter policy that would limit the benefits to people who have lived in the country for at least 10 years, or about 2.5 million people.

Read more: http://www.nytimes.com/2014/11/14/us/obama-immigration.html?emc=edit_na_20141113

Passed by a bit of local Red White and Blue this afternoon

My American exceptionalism fantasy is over: How these midterms sealed the deal / Andrew Cotto / Sal

Elections often hurt. Especially when they make you feel like a fool. I was one of the few who had held out hope that the electorate in key states would favor Democrats in respective races for Senate seats and governorships. As the map turned red over the course of Tuesday evening, the unraveling of my faith in the American political system — begun just about a decade ago during a lengthy trip abroad — completed its spiral.

Over 2003 to 2004, I lived in Italy for a year. It was a politically tumultuous time in America, and I spent much of my time in Italy fielding questions from concerned Italians about what was going on in the States. There was concern about the flawed election results of 2000, America’s withdrawal from the Kyoto Protocol, and, of course, America’s response to the attacks of 9/11.While the Italians were heartbroken by the attacks and deeply sympathetic to their beloved ally from across the Atlantic, they were also deeply concerned about our government’s response. Italians, having so much bloodshed on their soil over the course of a few millennia, hate war. And while they may have been skeptical about the post-9/11 war in Afghanistan, they were outraged by the invasion of Iraq. Of the 600 cities around the world that hosted simultaneous protests against the Iraq War on a February day of 2003, the largest — by far — took place on the streets of Rome where an estimated 3 million people gathered. I arrived in Italy the following month to inspect our potential rental property and sign a lease, and rainbow Pace (peace) signs draped across facades were still so ubiquitous that the architectural aesthetic of the country had been altered.

Almost all of Italy’s animosity was directed toward the Bush administration. The Italians couldn’t — in their hearts — blame America yet as a country, so they blamed our leaders at the time. It was an easy thing to do, considering how Bush and Cheney and company exposed themselves, especially from abroad, to such profound ridicule. But there was also a larger concern about America in general, how we as a country were heading down the slippery slope toward the sinkhole of corruption and impotence, something the Italians have known so well for so long that they entertain no aspirations of ever escaping.

for the rest read:


Cartoon: The last campaign ad ever by Mark Fiori (we have not heard from him in a while)


Even before the big loss for the Democrats, we had all lost. The money pouring into politics from Super PACs and shady political “nonprofit” organizations was stealing Democracy from you and me. Financial contributions from individual voters is being eclipsed by the big bucks pouring in from far fewer big-money sources.

As the most expensive midterm election in history, dark money from shadowy sources is also climbing. When nearly a billion dollars poured in from pop-up 501(c)4s and Super PACs, the advertising and attacks got meaner and more repellant. No wonder people feel like checking out from the whole process. (Don’t take my word for it, ask any random person on the street what they think of politics.)

With fewer voters and more money pumped into the election, it’s not too surprising that that some dinosaur politicians are resurgent. Why not take it to the extreme and just get rid of the voters thanks to the Last Campaign Ad Ever? Seems like something the Brothers Koch could get behind! Take a deeper dive into the links behind this cartoon here and be sure to like, comment and share!

Obama Orders Two-Year Supply of Crossword Puzzles is revealed by Andy Borowitz

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Saying that he wanted the remainder of his second term to be as active as possible, President Obama announced on Friday that he had ordered a two-year supply of crossword puzzles.

In signing an executive order for the puzzles, which range in difficulty from medium to advanced, the President laid out an ambitious plan to complete as many as thirty of them a day, for a total of ten thousand by the time he leaves the White House, in January, 2017The President said that he hoped that Republicans in Congress would support his plan for the puzzles, but added, “I don’t need their support. All I need is a pen.”

Obama’s executive order for the puzzles comes on the heels of another ambitious plan, announced by the President on Thursday, to watch all five seasons of “The Wire.”


Louie Gohmert Hints at Challenging Boehner For House Speaker. I say: " OH YES, please!"

Rep. Louie Gohmert of Texas has dropped a tantalizing hint that he's interested in taking over the pivotal position of House Speaker from John Boehner next year.

Asked Thursday on "The Steve Malzberg Show" on Newsmax TV whether he thought Boehner, an Ohio Republican, will retain his powerful seat on Capitol Hill, Gohmert replied: "It's never over till it's over."

First of all I wish this would come to pass because I am in need of laughs as this goes down and passes on. Not that I am in any way impressed with Boehner who dwells on the floor of my admiration scale, but Gohmert is below the floor looking through the cracks.

Let’s clue in Stephen Colbert about Gohmert’s intention and let the comedy begin.

Refresh your memory, and get a good laugh at what Stephen Colbert did to Gohmert a couple of weeks ago, or see it for the first time.


Remember Remember - another fifth of November. Listen to this again

Why America isn't the greatest country in the world anymore.

It's from the first ever "Newsroom" - yes it's an actor, and yes they are Aaron Sorkin's lines - but it's awe-fully true and spectacularly delivered.
If you have not seen it be patient till they finally break down the actor (Jeff Daniels) to give his opinion.

Mike Minter in Texas. A Profile in Courage. Congressional Democratic Candidate. AWESOME Video/info


This short documentary profiles Mike Minter, an underfunded Democrat who seeks election against a Republican incumbent in one of the most conservative districts of Texas.

Video by Marco Ricci on Publish Date November 2, 2014.

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