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La Lioness Priyanka

Profile Information

Name: Priyanka
Gender: Female
Hometown: NYC
Home country: United States
Member since: Tue Jul 8, 2003, 01:35 PM
Number of posts: 48,510

Journal Archives

The thing about intersectionality and having an intersectional life

is that i hate it. i would much prefer to have a group where most of my identity could be vested in. i hate being frequently disappointed in groups that i otherwise feel affiliation towards.

When there is racism or xenophobia or sexism in LGBT spaces, i feel rejected.

When there is homophobia or sexism in south asian groups, i feel rejected.

when there is racism, homophobia or xenophobia in feminist spaces, i feel rejected.

Having multiple oppressors just makes it than much easier to feel alienated from so many spaces. Having your loyalty contested (am i more feminist or more queer activist or more committed to immigrant rights) is tiresome.

Posted by La Lioness Priyanka | Tue Feb 21, 2012, 05:29 PM (17 replies)

your defense of transphobia this week makes you VASTLY unqualified to be a host of this forum

having a person who hosts this place who is so tolerant of transphobia, makes this place hostile to LGBT people.

of course i dont expect the majority of this forum to take this issue seriously, still i do want to make it clear that i feel hosts of this forum should not be bigoted or defend bigotry.

Posted by La Lioness Priyanka | Mon Feb 13, 2012, 12:34 PM (4 replies)

A Year After (marking the death anniversary of my best friend)

"Grief turns out to be a place none of us know until we reach it.Ē Joan Didion.

I knew I was going to lose Debjani long before I lost her but I was not prepared for what I felt when it actually did. I didnít realize how profound death is, how permanent and how unrelenting.

There is no chance to say that one thing you really want to tell her today. No one to receive the text message saying, ďIncidentally I think I see my first wrinkleĒ. There is not another chance to get a glass of wine together. No chance to ask her what color should my wedding dress be? Death is unrelenting.

You think you understand the permanency of death, but till youíve lost someone so close to you, you donít.

It turns out that grief can be bottomless, just when you think youíve hit the nadir of grief, you realize youíve just skimmed the surface. How much pain, how much anger, how much bitterness you can feel are things you donít realize.

You donít get that you will literally reel in shock for months. You donít realize that youíll program her phone number into your new phone, because you donít expect to be the crazy person who feels that when her best friend returns, youíll need the number again.

You donít think about how youíll walk around envisioning your own death and how it could impact those you love. How many things youíll avoid doing to prevent your loved ones from the kind of pain you now feel. Youíll avoid getting on motorcycles even though you love bike rides. You know youíll never go hand gliding or white water rafting.

These things may have been on your bucket list but your bucket list will change. Hand gliding will be replaced by ďspend more time with the people you love, because you donít how long they have leftĒ. Youíll look at life through the lens of death. Youíll finally understand mortality.

I struggled with this post. Should I have written something that told you more about my best friend or should I write about how the year after her feels. I know it may sound self-pitying but how profoundly I felt the loss of Debooh and how much I changed from it, is a testament to our friendship. This is the best way I could convey what her death anniversary meant to me and what she meant to me.
Posted by La Lioness Priyanka | Thu Feb 2, 2012, 10:44 AM (31 replies)
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