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La Lioness Priyanka

Profile Information

Name: Priyanka
Gender: Female
Hometown: NYC
Home country: United States
Member since: Tue Jul 8, 2003, 01:35 PM
Number of posts: 47,471

Journal Archives

A few wedding pics: lisa and my wedding on saturday

Thom and Jenna

Posted by La Lioness Priyanka | Wed Sep 26, 2012, 07:52 PM (167 replies)

Picture Thread

So i used to post pictures in the Lounge all the time. hen i stopped for a while, but i did want to say hi to new loungers and old loungers, friends and assorted peeps. What better way to do it than with a picture thread.

Picture of me taken on saturday being really chill after weeks of finals!!!

Hope you guys are doing well. I am about to grade 80 papers. PLEASE feel bad for me
Posted by La Lioness Priyanka | Mon May 28, 2012, 07:15 PM (54 replies)

Loungers in Philly (esp LGBT loungers and their allies)

A friend of mine is performing a show about coming out as bisexual and then as transgendered to his family. I have seen the show before and it's AMAZING! I urge you guys to go see it if you can


Hearing their 19-year-old daughter come out as bisexual was bewildering enough for a Muslim couple from south India whose own marriage was arranged by elders.

"And I shaved my head," says Deen, a Brooklyn-based performance artist whose parents were stalwarts of their Muslim Indian community just outside Hartford, Conn.

and to buy tickets http://www.interacttheatre.org/2011-2012-feature-3-draw-the-circle.html

I really urge to see it if you can.

(cross posted in LGBT)
Posted by La Lioness Priyanka | Tue Mar 27, 2012, 11:06 AM (0 replies)

The thing about intersectionality and having an intersectional life

is that i hate it. i would much prefer to have a group where most of my identity could be vested in. i hate being frequently disappointed in groups that i otherwise feel affiliation towards.

When there is racism or xenophobia or sexism in LGBT spaces, i feel rejected.

When there is homophobia or sexism in south asian groups, i feel rejected.

when there is racism, homophobia or xenophobia in feminist spaces, i feel rejected.

Having multiple oppressors just makes it than much easier to feel alienated from so many spaces. Having your loyalty contested (am i more feminist or more queer activist or more committed to immigrant rights) is tiresome.

Posted by La Lioness Priyanka | Tue Feb 21, 2012, 05:29 PM (17 replies)

your defense of transphobia this week makes you VASTLY unqualified to be a host of this forum

having a person who hosts this place who is so tolerant of transphobia, makes this place hostile to LGBT people.

of course i dont expect the majority of this forum to take this issue seriously, still i do want to make it clear that i feel hosts of this forum should not be bigoted or defend bigotry.

Posted by La Lioness Priyanka | Mon Feb 13, 2012, 12:34 PM (4 replies)

A Year After (marking the death anniversary of my best friend)

"Grief turns out to be a place none of us know until we reach it.” Joan Didion.

I knew I was going to lose Debjani long before I lost her but I was not prepared for what I felt when it actually did. I didn’t realize how profound death is, how permanent and how unrelenting.

There is no chance to say that one thing you really want to tell her today. No one to receive the text message saying, “Incidentally I think I see my first wrinkle”. There is not another chance to get a glass of wine together. No chance to ask her what color should my wedding dress be? Death is unrelenting.

You think you understand the permanency of death, but till you’ve lost someone so close to you, you don’t.

It turns out that grief can be bottomless, just when you think you’ve hit the nadir of grief, you realize you’ve just skimmed the surface. How much pain, how much anger, how much bitterness you can feel are things you don’t realize.

You don’t get that you will literally reel in shock for months. You don’t realize that you’ll program her phone number into your new phone, because you don’t expect to be the crazy person who feels that when her best friend returns, you’ll need the number again.

You don’t think about how you’ll walk around envisioning your own death and how it could impact those you love. How many things you’ll avoid doing to prevent your loved ones from the kind of pain you now feel. You’ll avoid getting on motorcycles even though you love bike rides. You know you’ll never go hand gliding or white water rafting.

These things may have been on your bucket list but your bucket list will change. Hand gliding will be replaced by “spend more time with the people you love, because you don’t how long they have left”. You’ll look at life through the lens of death. You’ll finally understand mortality.

I struggled with this post. Should I have written something that told you more about my best friend or should I write about how the year after her feels. I know it may sound self-pitying but how profoundly I felt the loss of Debooh and how much I changed from it, is a testament to our friendship. This is the best way I could convey what her death anniversary meant to me and what she meant to me.
Posted by La Lioness Priyanka | Thu Feb 2, 2012, 10:44 AM (31 replies)

My grandmother who is 84 years old, upon being told that i am marrying Lisa

said this " Priyanka has a fundamental right to live her life in the way that makes her happy".

My grandmother (well technically she is my grand-aunt but we address her as grandmother), was also the first woman judge on the Calcutta high courts and is a very accomplished woman. I have never someone so committed to a secular India and to the rights of women.

Anyhow, thought i should share this with my DU family

Posted by La Lioness Priyanka | Fri Jan 27, 2012, 11:41 AM (23 replies)

A reminder that we have an HIV/AIDS forum..and a request

So we barely use the hiv/aids forum that we requested a couple of year ago, but william created a thread there that i think we can all contribute to


its like the internet version of the quilt. I encourage you guys to contribute to it, if you have a picture, a story, a poem or a piece of artwork that you'd like to share, in the memory of those who we have lost and in honor of those who are living with HIV/AIDS.

Posted by La Lioness Priyanka | Fri Dec 16, 2011, 02:03 PM (2 replies)

How about naming this "Sexual Minorities and Gender Minorities" group instead of the other acronyms?

this way, we wont have to deal with longer and longer acronyms and it covers a lot of ground but identifies our minority status.

i think its a better alternative than lgbtq or glbtq or lgbtiq and quiltbag.

i feel like this way, we won't accidentally leave someone out but will also stay focussed on the issues we do deal with
Posted by La Lioness Priyanka | Thu Dec 8, 2011, 12:20 AM (27 replies)

How Not to be Defensive When Accused of Transphobia (A Guide For Cis People)


3) Take the criticism seriously. Do not dismiss it out of hand, especially if the criticism comes from a trans person. Trans people tend to be more aware of transphobia than most cis people are. This is because transphobic attitudes are often a matter of life and death – the ability to find a job, get housing, not get murdered, that sort of thing. Trans people do not find great enjoyment in randomly accusing people of transphobia, and would rather not have to bring it up. On the other hand, please do not appeal to other trans people to justify your words.

4) Don’t Make It About You. The best thing to do is apologize for what you said and move on. Resist your desire to shift the conversation into a lecture on How Against Transphobia You Are or How Accusations of Transphobia Are Just Silencing Tactics to Shut You Up The subject of the conversation is probably not the many trans people you know, and your deep and abiding acceptance of their life choices.

Here is why I think this article belongs here, because not all women are cis-gendered and if we claim to support women's rights, then we need to seriously support transgendered women and their rights. not just the rights of cis gender women. We can't support people if we don't create safe spaces for them.
Posted by La Lioness Priyanka | Sat Feb 18, 2012, 11:58 PM (10 replies)
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