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Profile Information

Name: James Crackcorn (Why should I care?)
Gender: Male
Hometown: Otisville
Home country: East Lexluthia
Current location: On the Ramparts
Member since: 2002
Number of posts: 571

About Me

I am old, ODD and proudly in the way And ready for Festivus every damn day.

Journal Archives

Chuck Todd needs to wear a mask

If he is going to continue fellating Cruz on live TV. Unbelievable. He also apparently had all his teeth removed for the occasion

More than 22000 Nut Jobs Want to Allow Guns at Repug Convention: Esquire


I think it works the other way too. What kind of nut job wouldn't want to see a whole lot of well armed, paranoid and angry Republican pols confront each other? This is a once in four year opportunity to thin their herd. Since they gerrymandered and primaried out their natural predators they have bred like crazed monkeys and are a menace to public safety. You can't swing a confederate flag over your head without hitting one of them. But here's a thought. Lock em in the convention hall with automatic weapons, turn out the lights withTed Nugent anthems at eardrum bleed volume and let God sort it out.

Iowa GOP offers abandoned hog farms for Muslim relocation camps.

AP: Iowa offers abandoned hog farms for Muslim relocation camps.

Otto Sturm, Republican party chair of Iowa said his state is perfect for the internment camps suggested by controversial presidential candidate Donald Trump. "We are centrally located and Interstate 80 runs through us and across the entire country. We have railway tracks connecting to every state so getting folks here will be no problem." While acknowledging the farms were in poor shape now and would need new plumbing for human habitants, he stated they already had a master plan "We'll round up illegals for repairs and have these places spic and span in a hot minute."

State Senator Herman Drang came up with the idea after meeting with Trump and began presenting it to the state Republican caucus soon after. Drang, who owns a Heating and Air distributorship was so excited by the plans that he has offered to donate the camps' heating systems from his company's line of multi fuel furnaces. Sturm and Drang said they weren't concerned about all the criticisms they have heard about their plan. Sturm laughed and said "l guess this country just has to have a great furor before we can permanently solve this problem."

New Cruz Chip Passes Test

Republican programmers announced the 4th generation conservative policy processor will be available before the 2016 debates. Dubbed the Cruz Chip after Ted Cruz succesfully Beta tested it in Iowa last week the processor reportedly has three times the cognitive dissonance resistance and thermal rhetoric protection as the third generation chip widely in use. The new technology allows candidates to safely espouse positions with no logical consistency, switch positions repeatedly and hold opinions diametrically opposed to others they hold without having embarassing shut downs or their heads explode.

Current Republican candidates have been using the older version but its vulnerabilities became obvious after Ben Carson's repeated cognitive meltdowns. The famous neurosurgeon who insiders have dubbed "Fukushima Ben" has been plummeting in the polls, unable to even pretend to make sense. Carson has scheduled his implant as early as next week but even some advisers are suggesting it may be too late. At a luncheon last week the former front runner had to have a hammer forcibly removed from his hand when he was seen repeatedly striking his head with it. Asked why, the laconic loon smiled dreamily saying. "It just feels so damn good when I stop." Cheap cloned versions of the new chip made by Syrian refugees in Trump built Koch firetraps will be available for Republican voters by September 2016.

Detroit to reopen unsolved bludgeoning deaths from Carsonís childhood neighborhood

Detroit police detective Samuel Snark indicated that Carsonís recent confessions about attacking people with knives and hammers reminded him of several cold cases from 40 years ago. Snark confirmed that three separate unprovoked attacks that resulted in victims being bludgeoned to death and in one case also stabbed to death, have been reopened. ďSomeone in Dr. Carsonís old neighborhood was crazier than a rat in a coffee can," Snark said. Letís just say, Dr. Carson is now a person of interest.Ē

Boomers: Fearful of Financial Fiasco in Final Years?

It's not too late! Invest in fiscal entities and firms focussed on the these favorite funfilled American past times and you may only need to be a greeter for 5 or 10 years!

Fines (See also Fees)
Food (Fast/Fake)
F*#king (see also Films, Fantasy and Fraud)
Firings (guns and people)
Fracking (see also Filth)
Foreign Wars

(not necessarily in that order)

Why Bernie Will Win it All; thanks to the RW Noise Machine

The good news is that Bernie will win the nomination and the Presidency. And the right wing noise machine will have played an important, maybe even crucial role. For almost 25 years, they have been pounding relentlessly on Hillary, and while you can point to mistakes she made, there is no way she deserved what she got from those assholes. They have hammered her to the point that even Dems are tired of hearing about her. This fatigue will enable Bernie to creep up on her and even pass her long before the big state primaries put him over the top. The noise machine will never let her go, even as she drops in the polls because their foam-at-the-mouth breathing readers and listeners think Hillary is Satan's own daughter. They demand their Hillary hate and they would elect anyone even BenitoTrump rather than her. If Hillary managed to survive the primary, the trolls would come out to vote in droves and maybe even threaten to drive Dems from the polls with automatic weapons.

But when they discover that their opposition is Bernie, they won't know what to think. They haven't been paying attention to him. The noise machine will then only have a little more than six months to reindoctrinate them and they aren't fast learners. Meanwhile Bernie will be having more and more exposure and even the zombie right will understand this is not an ordinary Democrat and realize he would be good for them too. Bernie will also rip their candidate a new one, even several new ones in the debates. The sudden hysterical pleading and teeth gnashing of Rush and Hannity et al will sound exactly like that to their base who will see that the choice is Bernie and an ignorant malignant narcissist or Bernie and yet another RNC stooge who will gladly screw them again. Without Hillary to vote against in November 2016, the bitter, broken, Republican base will either not show up or will come in and covertly vote for Bernie.

Now hold on. Both sides do this.

Let's remember when Al Sharpton said "George Bush is so slow because he is the product of centuries of aristocratic inbreeding from the same genetic source that produced Jeb's dyslexia and Neil's psychopathy."

And Jesse Jackson: George HW Bush is a racist killer who hates minorities and hates children. He helped slaughter Panamanians and Nicaraguans and learned this hate from his own parents who wanted to neuter 'mental defectives.' It's a wonder he didn't drown his own offspring."

Shirley Lee Jackson: "The Bush family is an American hating crime syndicate that is covered with the blood of innocents while they have tried to hide their financial connections to and dependence on the rich Nazi's that their family aided and abetted while the rest of the country was at war with them."

John Lewis: "This family isn't American. And never have been. They sold out long ago. They have no appreciation for America, the melting pot but they would like to melt us down just like their Nazi friends did to the Jews."

....oh, that's right. That didn't happen. But if it had Democrats would have sang their praises. So really it is just the same as if they had said it. **

** the above is sarcasm. I tried to mimic the horrible things that have been said about Obama by saying similarly horrible things about Bush and pretending they were said by black Democratic spokesperson and then using the demented logic of Faux to form a false equivalency to the delusional slander about Obama. Ha ha...... Sheesh.

I have said this before....this is no ordinary cognitive dissonance at work now..

Working people will keep voting for the Tea Party and Republicans just like the good people of Jonestown drank the kool aid. The more you invest in your folly and the longer you have been duped, the harder it is to admit it. I fear we will see this malignant cognitive dissonance in full display in a couple of weeks. PT Barnum ("There's a sucker born every minute.") and Jim Jones ("Bottoms up, everyone!) are the true spiritual leaders of the modern Republican Party with HL Mencken (Nobody ever went broke, underestimating the intelligence of the American public.") brought in as a consultant for campaign ads.

It is just slight of hand.

We need to remember that the people really running the Republican party don't really give a fuck about abortion. In fact they really don't want a lot of Medicaid babies, preemies, fetal alcohol syndrome, and otherwise deathly sick or addicted babies jamming up the neonatal intensive care and jacking up their state deficits. They would look like the reptillian slime they are if they shut off the oxygen and IVs on 18 oz preemies and hydrocephalics that would otherwise have been aborted. But they need these dimbulbed single issue voters and they needed a win to keep them juiced on the Republican brand. So this little victory does the trick and doesn't do much of anything else except fuck over the women of Hobby Lobby who will have to find other ways to get birth control. Of course it is wrong. It is also cynical as hell on their part because they know the Supremes will never outlaw abortion for the reason mentioned above. But they have to look like they will or the jig is up. The republican state legislatures are doing all the heavy lifting against abortions and SCOTUS has done nothing but tease them along, knowing they can shut it all down if it gets out of control and expensive.

Meanwhile the Republican controllers will make sure that their Lindseys, Ashleys and Penelopes have the best contraception money can buy and quick trips to Canada or even a write off trip to France should she forget her pill. This also is an issue that will frustrate and exhaust our activists so that is a bonus for them.
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