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Newly discovered medieval art from the failed Giant Snail Invasion of 1064

The rare depiction of an Anglo-Saxon soldier battling a giant French snail

Two famed British art historians, Simon Symington-Shufflebottom and Giles Twickworthy Hight-Beazley, have announced the discovery of an only surviving painting, depicting the little known 2nd of June 1064 Giant Snail Invasion of England. The failed invasion, near what is now known as the city of Liverpool by the Duke of Breton, Mollusceur the Third, was remarkable for it's poor location. Ironically, this area was also known for its close proximity to the ancient salt mines of Cheshire.

The defeat of Duke Mollosceur's giant snail legions by the Anglo-Saxon Prince, Gerald the Salty, second cousin twice removed to Edward the Confessor, happened at what the Bretons called the Battle of Escargot Le Grand. After Prince Gerald's forces spread piles of newly mined rock salt before the advance of Molloscuer's troops, the halted invasion force was set upon by a battalion of ravenous infantry, who were also in a fit of irony named, "The Snail Eaters."

The harrowing battle lasted one day and was described as quite appetizing, as local wines and giant pots of cooked vegetables were all carried in haste to the battlefield on the backs of fair maidens. Gerald's Snail Eaters were also remarkable for their part in the defeat of King Bovinus of Norway at the 1065 Battle of Cows near present-day Scarborough. From that point on, the battalion changed their name to the more familiar title of "The Beefeaters."

Overshadowed by the success of the second 11th Century Norman invasion by William the Conqueror, Mollosceur's debacle was thought to have been completely excised from all historical records. That was until the rare book sized painting was found buried in a medieval tomb near Ffynnongroyw, Wales, uncovered by construction workers who were building a new Hooters franchise restaurant.

Symington-Shufflebottom and Twickworthy Hight-Beazley announced that the painting is to be displayed in the Sainsbury Wing Exhibition of the National Gallery, beside other rare artworks and artifacts from such little remembered periods of British history, as the Unfortunate Harpsichord Migration of 1788 and Prince Edward's collection of passed gallstones.

Gimme some sugar…

For full effect, this has to be done in L.A.

Too-too Smooth...

Chicago Police Misconduct Lawsuit: Claim Authorities Robbed Apartment And Illegally Detained Them

Chicago Police Misconduct Lawsuit: Brandy Allen And Nicholas Timmons Claim Authorities Robbed Apartment And Illegally Detained Them

By Howard Koplowitz
on January 02 2014 4:28 PM

A Chicago-area couple is suing local law enforcement agencies, saying officers ransacked their apartment and car looking for drugs but instead stole thousands of dollars’ worth of items.

Brandy Allen and Nicholas Timmons, a couple living together in North Chicago, Ill., filed a federal suit late last month against Lake County Metropolitan Enforcement Group, a Lake County MEG officer, “unknown agents” of the group and “unknown police officers,” charging they were unlawfully detained and had been robbed by the officers while they were being interrogated, according to court records.

On July 24, as the couple left their apartment to go grocery shopping, their vehicle was pulled over by four officers who were “clad in fatigues and bulletproof vests” and “jumped out of an unmarked SUV” with assault rifles, according to the suit. The couple was ordered out of their van, and when Timmons asked an officer for a reason for the stop, he was allegedly told, “you know what it is for mother f-----.”

Timmons was handcuffed and searched as officers demanded he tell them where drugs and guns were in the car, but he said he had no information about drugs or guns.


The Orangutan and the Hound



You need this video in your life.

One Horrible Rich Person...

Snyder Killed Some Trees; Park Ranger's Career Goes Down in Flames


Dan Snyder couldn’t see the Potomac River from his mansion, so the Washington NFL team’s owner exploited his government connections to do something about it.

Snyder, who’s pegged in Deadspin as a “horrible rich person” cut down 140 trees behind his Maryland estate – even though the trees were on national park property – and wrecked a park ranger’s career in the process.

Deadspin reports that in June of 2004, P. Daniel Smith, National Parks special assistant, and his National Park Service colleagues, which included the C&O Canal’s new interim superintendent, Kevin Brandt, met with Snyder and his attorney at his mansion to work out a deal to remove the trees.

RELATED Former Abramoff Associate Arranges Daniel Snyder Meeting With Poarch Band

Smith was a special assistant to Fran Mainella, who, in 2001, President Bush tapped to run the NPS. Smith and his colleagues agreed to grant Snyder a special use permit to clear 200 feet of trees on the slope behind his house, on the condition that he replace them with 600 native saplings, according to the Washington Monthly, the magazine that reported the full story. Also reported was the fact that no one had sought the proper permits or commissioned an environmental assessment, and they ignored a recommendation from the park’s horticulture specialist that cutting the trees would have adverse affects on the ecosystem.

Read more at http://indiancountrytodaymedianetwork.com/2014/01/07/snyder-killed-some-trees-wrecked-park-rangers-career-152992
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