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Member since: 2002
Number of posts: 62,023

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Wanna get freaked out? Watch this:

Coming Soon To 60 Minutes...

That incessant whirring sound that you're hearing is Don Hewitt spinning in his grave.

Onward To The Skies!

How do you go after the 1 percent?

Interactive Music Timeline


Happy Birthday, Michelle Obama!

Radio Shack ad from 1991

Look at all the stuff that you needed then to do what's possible with a single phone today.


The Cat Pack: All of you rabid felinophiles can thank me later.

I'm staying out of GD today

It's going to get even more CRAAAZEEEE!

I've been spending the last two hours doing my show, so I haven't been keeping up with all the details around Prez Obama's NSA speech.

But I looked in there for a sec and it was hopping like hot cakes.

It's going to last all weekend, isn't it?

MFM Was A Son Of A Bitch

He was a ten foot tall mountain of a man, who used to hunt Bigfoot in the Summer and Yeti in the dead of Winter. That's the only time they're in season.

He once calmed down a colicky baby by breastfeeding her with a chicken.

MFM one time stopped a California wildfire cold by reading Dr. Suess's "The Cat In The Hat" to it.

Did I tell you about the time when MFM ate half of the Catholic Church's College of Cardinals? They were glad to be consumed by MFM, because it turns out that the quickest way to Heaven is through his digestive tract.

MFM was one hellava sexual dynamo. The city of Denver's entire electrical grid was powered by the energy of his pelvic thrusts.

MFM was able to split himself in two, the other half being a beautiful super model. When they had sex, you couldn't help but to cry from the sheer joy of their love for each other.

MFM was a son of a bitch.

Whenever he drove down the street, the traffic lights would flash green for go, yellow for slow down, red for stop, and psychedelic for "get the hell outta the way, MFM's comin' through!"

If MFM punched you in the face, that was his way of sobering you up to be a designated driver.

I once saw MFM diving leg drop the Phillies Phanatic. That jerk totally deserved it. MFM kept his head on his wall as a trophy.

MFM's feces was made of pure anti-matter. NASA keeps a batch to power the upcoming manned space flight to Mars.

I once saw MFM shoot down an Argentine airliner by popping a pimple at it. His aim was perfect.

One time MFM ate entire Buick as a before meal snack. It wasn't one of those sedans either, it was a big ass SUV.

Before Elvis died on his toilet, he admitted that MFM was the inspiration for his multi-platinum hit song, "A Hunka-Hunka Burnin' Love." Turns out that MFM once gave The King the clap. Elvis was grateful to MFM all the way to the bank.

MFM was a son of a bitch.

His gallstones were used as the national currency of Azerbaijan.

MFM once rescued an entire troop of lost Boy Scouts by eating them whole. They're also in Heaven now.

MFM wrote the original screenplay for "Gods and Monsters." He modeled both on himself.

If you dared him, MFM would eat a Republican.

He invented Beer Pong as way to settle international disputes.

MFM isn't dead, he's just biding his time until the Apocalypse, when he'll eat The Anti-Christ whole and save humanity from destruction.

MFM was a son of a bitch.

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