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jmowreader

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Member since: 2002
Number of posts: 28,585

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Astronaut Chris Hadfield explains how to take a dump in zero-G

Save me from having to go to Hobby Lobby

I drink Red Rose Tea. LOTS of Red Rose Tea. Red Rose Tea comes with a little ceramic figurine imported all the way from England in every box, and since I drink so much of their tea I have a shitload of these figurines. I want a curio cabinet to hold...oh, about a hundred of them. Hobby Lobby would be the obvious place to look for things like this, but I don't want to shop with those people if I don't absolutely have to. I've looked online and the ones I see are generally in the $400 range - which would be okay if I was displaying the Hope Diamond next to the Peace Ruby, but it's a bit out of line for displaying figurines you get free with purchase of a $3.50 box of tea. Any ideas?

The real reason Miley got into the sexual innuendos, twerking etc. at the VMAs

I just watched the whole thing...her songs sucked hard enough you could pick up a bowling ball with them.

Numbers 6 proves "wine" isn't a misprint

Your standard fundamentalist will tell you that every single word in the Bible is the absolute literal and correct word of God, except for one: "wine." Apparently this was mistranslated and should have been "grape juice."

I was trying to find the passage in the Bible's Numbers 5 that tells you how to do an abortion, and decided to flip forth to Numbers 6...where I find this:

1 The Lord said to Moses,

2 “Speak to the Israelites and say to them: ‘If a man or woman wants to make a special vow, a vow of dedication to the Lord as a Nazirite,

3 they must abstain from wine and other fermented drink and must not drink vinegar made from wine or other fermented drink. They must not drink grape juice or eat grapes or raisins.

4 As long as they remain under their Nazirite vow, they must not eat anything that comes from the grapevine, not even the seeds or skins.

5 “‘During the entire period of their Nazirite vow, no razor may be used on their head. They must be holy until the period of their dedication to the Lord is over; they must let their hair grow long.

6 “‘Throughout the period of their dedication to the Lord, the Nazirite must not go near a dead body.

7 Even if their own father or mother or brother or sister dies, they must not make themselves ceremonially unclean on account of them, because the symbol of their dedication to God is on their head.

8 Throughout the period of their dedication, they are consecrated to the Lord.

9 “‘If someone dies suddenly in the Nazirite’s presence, thus defiling the hair that symbolizes their dedication, they must shave their head on the seventh day—the day of their cleansing.

10 Then on the eighth day they must bring two doves or two young pigeons to the priest at the entrance to the tent of meeting.

11 The priest is to offer one as a sin offering and the other as a burnt offering to make atonement for the Nazirite because they sinned by being in the presence of the dead body. That same day they are to consecrate their head again.

12 They must rededicate themselves to the Lord for the same period of dedication and must bring a year-old male lamb as a guilt offering. The previous days do not count, because they became defiled during their period of dedication.

13 “‘Now this is the law of the Nazirite when the period of their dedication is over. They are to be brought to the entrance to the tent of meeting.

14 There they are to present their offerings to the Lord: a year-old male lamb without defect for a burnt offering, a year-old ewe lamb without defect for a sin offering, a ram without defect for a fellowship offering,

15 together with their grain offerings and drink offerings, and a basket of bread made with the finest flour and without yeast—thick loaves with olive oil mixed in, and thin loaves brushed with olive oil.

16 “‘The priest is to present all these before the Lord and make the sin offering and the burnt offering.

17 He is to present the basket of unleavened bread and is to sacrifice the ram as a fellowship offering to the Lord, together with its grain offering and drink offering.

18 “‘Then at the entrance to the tent of meeting, the Nazirite must shave off the hair that symbolizes their dedication. They are to take the hair and put it in the fire that is under the sacrifice of the fellowship offering.

19 “‘After the Nazirite has shaved off the hair that symbolizes their dedication, the priest is to place in their hands a boiled shoulder of the ram, and one thick loaf and one thin loaf from the basket, both made without yeast.

20 The priest shall then wave these before the Lord as a wave offering; they are holy and belong to the priest, together with the breast that was waved and the thigh that was presented. After that, the Nazirite may drink wine.

21 “‘This is the law of the Nazirite who vows offerings to the Lord in accordance with their dedication, in addition to whatever else they can afford. They must fulfill the vows they have made, according to the law of the Nazirite.’”

Note that 6.3 contains both the words "wine" and "grape juice." Since it does, the word "wine" couldn't have been mistranslated and Jesus' first miracle couldn't have been making 200 gallons of grape juice for a party that had run out.

Numbers 6 proves "wine" isn't a mistranslation

Your standard fundamentalist will tell you that every single word in the Bible is the absolute literal and correct word of God, except for one: "wine." Apparently this was mistranslated and should have been "grape juice."

I was trying to find the passage in the Bible's Numbers 5 that tells you how to do an abortion, and decided to flip forth to Numbers 6...where I find this:

1 The Lord said to Moses,

2 “Speak to the Israelites and say to them: ‘If a man or woman wants to make a special vow, a vow of dedication to the Lord as a Nazirite,

3 they must abstain from wine and other fermented drink and must not drink vinegar made from wine or other fermented drink. They must not drink grape juice or eat grapes or raisins.

4 As long as they remain under their Nazirite vow, they must not eat anything that comes from the grapevine, not even the seeds or skins.

5 “‘During the entire period of their Nazirite vow, no razor may be used on their head. They must be holy until the period of their dedication to the Lord is over; they must let their hair grow long.

6 “‘Throughout the period of their dedication to the Lord, the Nazirite must not go near a dead body.

7 Even if their own father or mother or brother or sister dies, they must not make themselves ceremonially unclean on account of them, because the symbol of their dedication to God is on their head.

8 Throughout the period of their dedication, they are consecrated to the Lord.

9 “‘If someone dies suddenly in the Nazirite’s presence, thus defiling the hair that symbolizes their dedication, they must shave their head on the seventh day—the day of their cleansing.

10 Then on the eighth day they must bring two doves or two young pigeons to the priest at the entrance to the tent of meeting.

11 The priest is to offer one as a sin offering and the other as a burnt offering to make atonement for the Nazirite because they sinned by being in the presence of the dead body. That same day they are to consecrate their head again.

12 They must rededicate themselves to the Lord for the same period of dedication and must bring a year-old male lamb as a guilt offering. The previous days do not count, because they became defiled during their period of dedication.

13 “‘Now this is the law of the Nazirite when the period of their dedication is over. They are to be brought to the entrance to the tent of meeting.

14 There they are to present their offerings to the Lord: a year-old male lamb without defect for a burnt offering, a year-old ewe lamb without defect for a sin offering, a ram without defect for a fellowship offering,

15 together with their grain offerings and drink offerings, and a basket of bread made with the finest flour and without yeast—thick loaves with olive oil mixed in, and thin loaves brushed with olive oil.

16 “‘The priest is to present all these before the Lord and make the sin offering and the burnt offering.

17 He is to present the basket of unleavened bread and is to sacrifice the ram as a fellowship offering to the Lord, together with its grain offering and drink offering.

18 “‘Then at the entrance to the tent of meeting, the Nazirite must shave off the hair that symbolizes their dedication. They are to take the hair and put it in the fire that is under the sacrifice of the fellowship offering.

19 “‘After the Nazirite has shaved off the hair that symbolizes their dedication, the priest is to place in their hands a boiled shoulder of the ram, and one thick loaf and one thin loaf from the basket, both made without yeast.

20 The priest shall then wave these before the Lord as a wave offering; they are holy and belong to the priest, together with the breast that was waved and the thigh that was presented. After that, the Nazirite may drink wine.

21 “‘This is the law of the Nazirite who vows offerings to the Lord in accordance with their dedication, in addition to whatever else they can afford. They must fulfill the vows they have made, according to the law of the Nazirite.’”

Note that 6.3 contains both the words "wine" and "grape juice." Since it does, the word "wine" couldn't have been mistranslated and Jesus' first miracle couldn't have been making 200 gallons of grape juice for a party that had run out.

Report from the North Idaho Fair Democratic party booth, day 2 and final

My report from Day 1 is here: http://www.democraticunderground.com/10023518158

The fair goes on for two more days. Sadly, it must go on without me as I must print newspapers.

There are far more Democrats in North Idaho than were previously identified. We have names. There aren't enough to get anyone elected to any office higher than dogcatcher, but at least it's solace. This year's big Party meeting, the Huckleberry Social, should have more attendance than last year's.

Something kinda strange: we asked one guy if he wanted to sign the petition we're circulating to try to get a referendum on next year's ballot to increase the minimum wage, which in Idaho would be zero if there wasn't a federal wage that took precedence. He started telling us in an elevated, slightly-insane-sounding voice, that no one has the right to tell him how to run his business. While he was telling us off, he rotated his body so the massive pistol strapped to his hip was facing us, then kinda pushed his hip out to make the gun even more prominent. Later in the shift one of the sheriff's deputies patrolling the fairgrounds stopped at our booth and we explained what happened..."that's weird...he has every right to do it according to Idaho law but I wonder what's wrong."

Oh...if any of you have an in with your local fair board...this year our board hired Lisa Lou's One Woman Circus as a strolling entertainer. (http://www.lisalou.com) This woman is a serious trip. Do whatever it takes to get her at your fair.

What is this shit with teens killing for entertainment?

I know I'm so old I fart dust, but this is ridiculous.

Back in the North Idaho of the 1970s where and when I grew up, our bored teens were easily amused. Johnny and Susie and their friends were bored, they'd buy a keg of beer and go to the woods, or they'd get a couple of lids of weed and a half-dozen empty Pepsi cans, or they'd have an orgy. Simple, easy, and as long as they didn't drive after doing this shit no one got hurt. Today Johnny is a doctor, Susie is an engineer and all the little old ladies in town who didn't croak of natural causes like getting run over by logging trucks are still alive.

This summer, some teens in Oklahoma killed an Australian baseball player at random to alleviate their boredom, some teens in Spokane killed an old veteran to alleviate their boredom, and some asshat decided to hunt kittens with a bow-and-arrow and post pictures the dead kitties on Facebook to alleviate HIS boredom.

Come on, America: bring back fucking and weed. Innocent bystanders survive those things.

Cold War Kids: The Right Stuff drops on Blu-ray November 5!

http://www.blu-raystats.com/NewsLog/2013/08/04/the-right-stuff-to-be-released-on-blu-ray-disc-november-5th-2013/

Schoolhouse Rock for the 113th Congress

Back in the old days when we had only three channels on TV, not counting PBS, and Saturday morning cartoons were less educational than they are now (unless you count the weekly lesson on why not to shop at Acme), ABC slipped in a bit of book-learnin' with its "Schoolhouse Rock" segments.

One of their better ones was the "I'm Just A Bill" short that President Obama referred to yesterday. It is unfortunately a bit out of date, so let's fix it for the current Congress...


Boy: Woof! You sure got to climb a lot of steps to get to this Capitol Building here in Washington. But I wonder who that sad little scrap of paper is?

Bill: I'm just a bill
Yes, I'm only a bill
And I'm sitting here on Capitol Hill
Well, it's a long, long journey
To the capital city
It's a long, long wait
While I'm sitting in committee
But I know I'll be a law someday
At least I hope and pray that I will
But today I am still just a bill

Boy: Gee, Bill, you certainly have a lot of patience and courage

Bill: Well I got this far. When I started, I wasn't even a bill, I was just an idea. Some folks back home decided they wanted a law passed, so they called their local Congressman and he said, "No, we just need to enforce the laws we already have." So they called their friends in another congressional district who had enough sense to not elect a teabagger, and they called their local Congresssman, and he said, "you're right, that ought to be a law." Then he sat down and wrote me out and introduced me to Congress. And I became a bill, and I'll remain a bill until they decide to make me a law.

I'm just a bill
Yes, I'm only a bill,
And I got as far as Capitol Hill
Well, now I'm stuck in committee
And I'll sit here and wait
While a few key Congressmen discuss and debate
Whether they have enough time between their attempts to repeal Obamacare to let me be a law
How I hope and pray that they will
But today I am still just a bill

Boy: Listen to those congressmen arguing! Is all that discussion and debate about you?

Bill: No, they're discussing and debating whether to order pizza for lunch today. But they'll discuss me next. I might get five minutes of consideration. Most bills never even get this far. I hope they decide to report on me favorably, otherwise I may die.

Boy: Die?

Bill: Yeah, die in committee. And then I go to another committee.

Boy: What do they do there?

Bill: They decide whether to amend me to a tax cut, a post-office rename, or an Obamacare repeal bill.

Boy: What's 'amend' mean?

Bill: "Amend" is a fancy word that means "add." Nothing gets out of this session of the House of Representatives unless it contains a tax cut, a bill to rename a post office, or an attempt to repeal the president's healthcare reform law. So if I want to be a law, I have to be amended to one of those three things.

Boy: And what's "repeal" mean?

Bill: That means "to get rid of."

Boy: Why do they want to repeal Obamacare?

Bill: Why is the sky blue? Why do dogs bark? There are things that just are, and one of them is that the Republicans try to repeal Obamacare every Tuesday.

Boy: What happens if they name all the post offices?

Bill: Then we're screwed, but don't worry: there are enough post offices out there that the teabaggers can't rename them all before the voters come to their senses and vote them out of office.

Boy: And if they find one of those bills to amend you to, then what happens?

Bill: Then the bill I'm amended to gets sent to the full House, and they vote on me. I hope they vote yes.

Boy: What if they can't find one of those bills to amend you to?

Bill: Then they'll write one. It doesn't take very long.

Boy: If they amend you to another bill and vote yes, what happens?

Bill: Then I go to the Senate and the whole thing starts all over again with the Senate removing the tax cut or the Obamacare repeal language from the bill.

Boy: How about the post office name?

Bill: Oh, they'll leave those alone. And then the Senate does all the same things to me that were done in the House.

Boy: Oh no!

Bill: Oh yes!

Boy: Can a bill that the Senate changed become a law?

Bill: No. The same bill has to pass both the House and the Senate, so I become a Reconciliation Bill.

Boy: That's an awfully big name.

Bill: And it's an awful process, but after I become a Reconciliation Bill I have to go back to the House.

Boy: To be voted on again?

Bill: Yup. But they can change it too. And if that happens I have to go back to the Senate, who can change it again and again...

Boy: It doesn't sound like there's much chance of you becoming a law if you go into reconciliation.

Bill: No. But sometimes the lucky Bills pass through reconciliation, and then...

I'm a reconciliation bill
Yes, I'm only a reconciliation bill
And my lack of Obamacare repeal just gives me a thrill
But if they vote for me on Capitol Hill
Well, then I'm off to the White House
Where I'll wait in a line
With a lot of other bills
For the president to sign
And if he signs me, then I'll be a law
How I hope and pray that he will
But today I am still just a bill

Boy: You mean even if the whole Congress says you should be a law, the president can still say no?

Bill: Yes, that's called a veto. If the President vetoes me, I have to go back to Congress and they vote on me again, and by that time you're so old . . .

Boy: By that time it's very unlikely that you'll become a law. It's not easy to become a law, is it?

Bill: No!

But how I hope and I pray that I will
But today I am still just a bill

Congressman: He signed you, Bill! Now you're a law!

Bill: Oh yes!

Report from the North Idaho Fair Democratic party booth, day 1

This year I'm working two days at the Democratic party booth at the North Idaho Fair. (If you're in the area: I-90 to Idaho exit 12 (US 95 exit), north on US 95 to Kathleen Avenue (Super 1 Foods, Sunset Motors and Parker Toyota are at that corner), right on Kathleen, left on Government Way and you're right there. Three dollars parking, $9 admission, the Democratic Party booth is straight up from the main gate.) Status report follows:

This year our main push is getting people to sign a petition to put an initiative raising the minimum wage in Idaho on next year's ballot. We got a lot of signatures. We also got a lot of people who were in one of two camps: that it should stay the same, or that it should be lowered. Apparently the theory is that if we lower the minimum wage more jobs will be created because employers will be able to spread their payroll around to more people. We'd have to lower it by a bunch to do that. (We had a man who claimed to be an economics professor tell us that. He didn't say where he taught economics; if he would have I could have told you where not to study economics.) We also got a LOT of new voter registrations.

I was serving from 10 am to 2 pm on Thursday when a lot of people are at work, so we didn't get a lot of teabaggers. We did get one and this guy was fuckin' hilarious, in a sad sort of way: One of the teabagger groups in Idaho has produced a book that contains the Idaho and US Constitutions. It's a nice book, printed on good paper with an offset press (yes, I can tell) and perfect-bound with a heavy durable cover. It's even got a foil-stamped cover. He wouldn't give me one and he was carrying four...and I think the reason he wouldn't give me one is he was stupid enough to open the book to Article 1 of the Constitution, point at Sections 8 (powers of Congress) and 9 (limits on Congress), and tell me those sections created a "limited government." I took Constitution in hand and explained to him, very calmly, that a document that allows Congress to levy taxes, borrow money and write any law it deems necessary to provide for the general welfare and common defense of the United States is a document that allows Congress to do, with very limited exceptions, whatever the hell it wants. (I even pointed at the three lines which do that.) At which point the teabagger went into the "original intent" thing and the "Federalist Papers" thing, to which I responded that the people who wrote the Constitution were also the people who wrote the Federalist Papers so they must have had a reason to write the Constitution in the way that they did. That made him madder...it was good for the soul.
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