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Member since: 2002
Number of posts: 34,174

Journal Archives

What is the scope of the Utah decision?

If Utah can't demonstrate that opposite-sex marriage is harmed in any way by same-sex marriage, how can any of the other states where it's banned do the same thing?

Or in plain language, did some legislatin'-from-the-bench judge in Utah legalize gay marriage nationwide? Which would be bad if he did because...umm...well...you know...gee, ah, I'll be sure to think of somethin' in just a second...oh yeah...all dem dar homersexuals'll git divorced and no proper Deuteronomy 22.28* marriage ended in divorce.

*Deuteronomy 22.28 is the passage that allows you to rape any virgin who's not already engaged then atone for it by marrying your victim. Which is a shitty way to find a wife, but everything in the Bible is good, right?

Be still my heart: Chuggo has a Christmas video out!

It is every bit as good as the Chuggo magnum opus "C'mon Fuck a Guy." Consider yourself warned.

Phil Robertson is a true genius here

His fans love him all the more, he gets his name in all the papers, and now he can make duck calls and weigh his money on the scale at the Tiger Truck Stop without ever having to be on TV again.

NASCAR gets a clue: No more post-race height inspections!


One of the most popular inadvertently-violated rules in NASCAR is post-race height.

What the Hayul* I am talking about: It's no secret that NASCAR is very dictatorial about the design of a car. And up through the end of this season, they measured your car's roof height twice: once before the race, once after. (They hang a weight from a string at the specified height and push your car under it; your car must touch the weight.) Problem is, guys run soft springs to get better handling, and over the course of the race those can deform...when they do, you'll be a quarter-inch too low. There's no realistic way to intentionally violate this rule: you go straight from pre-race inspection to the starting grid, and there are so many NASCAR inspectors out there that if you were sitting there changing springs on pit road before the race someone will ask you what the Hayul you are doing.

For 2014 they finally got a clue: they're going to measure the car before the race and call it good.

* Hayul is where Southerners go when they've been bad people in life.

Worse than the Ted Cruz coloring book: Pigboy writes a historical fiction book


In it, Lard Ass Limbaugh takes on the role of a high school history teacher who teleports back in time to come to America with the Pilgrims. It's not as bad as you'd think; it's several orders of magnitude worse.

War on Christmas: Post stores opening on 12/25

A grocery store, Mitchell's Harvest Foods in Priest River, ID, will be open 12/25 from 8 am to 5 pm.

Post your Christmas-hating businesses in this thread!

In case you're wondering what the hell it is China banned imports of...

These are geoduck (pronounced "gooey duck" - don't ask, and no that's not what they eat) clams.

The results of the War on Christmas are in. Jesus lost.

Are you at the point where you just can't wait for Christmas to be over? Between Palin's whiny book, Megyn Kelly's Santy Claws Wuz a White Guy thing and the letter we printed where the letter writer can't have a festive Christmas b/c the word Christ isn't painted on all the store windows, I'm ready to have me a good old fashioned Jul or Krampusnacht.

How to mess with your fiance-to-be on 12/25

One of the local jewelers will give you a "free huge cardboard box to wrap it in" with any purchase of an engagement ring between now and Dec. 24.

Rebecca Black opens herself up for another round of abuse

Remember "Friday"?

(Don't click on this. Just don't.)

Now there's "Saturday"!

She's progressed in her career from "atrocity" to "no worse than the rest of the crap on the radio."
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