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Member since: 2002
Number of posts: 29,560

Journal Archives

Why this will be Obama's fault

I edit letters to the editor, and we get some real winners: last week someone claimed Obama was going to shut down the private sector and establish food distribution networks.

On Monday we will get the weekend letters and I expect:
1. Obama arranged this to repeal the Second Amendment
2. Obama arranged this to suspend the Constitution
3. Obama arranged this to destroy democracy

Teabagger-only walled city proposed for rural Idaho county

This will be front-page news in tomorrow's St. Maries Gazette-Record: the III Arms Company, a custom gun shop based in West Virginia, is planning to buy three thousand acres of Benewah County, Idaho, to build what they refer to as a "citadel" - a place where they can practice Jefferson's Rightful Liberty and walk around armed to the teeth at all times.

Oh...read this...http://iiicitadel.blogspot.com/

I went through the guy's blog and apparently he's never actually BEEN to Benewah County. Among other things, they plan to have their own private airstrip in Teabag City. There is exactly one place in Benewah County that's flat and long enough to put an airstrip, and it's where the county airport is. ('Course, the teabaggers COULD put their compound out there, but they'd have to contend with a few obstacles like the sewage lagoon, the huge swamp next to the airport, the evil government school on the hillside, and the river.)

They've got a "Patriot Agreement" you have to sign before you move to Teabag City. Among its requirements are that you obtain an AR-15 rifle and a thousand rounds of ammo. Now, it just so happens that one of the guns this asshole makes is an AR-15 rifle, but we won't talk about that. You also have to qualify on the range with rifle and pistol every year, and they're going to raise a militia.

I guess there is one advantage to having a walled community: when the state finally gets tired of their shit, the National Guard can block all the roads leading into town and lob mortars in there until the problem corrects itself.

Benewah County is so teabaggy I don't think they know you can use teabags for anything but hat decorations anymore, and even the St. Maries residents think this guy is full of shit.

Does anyone know what all these new Obama regulations are?

A couple days ago we had a thread about a Colorado Springs apartment manager who asked his tenants to volunteer that they voted Democratic so he'd know whose rent to raise first. Apparently all the new Obama regulations are forcing him to cut hours, etc. And we see a lot of this from the Right--all the new Obama regulations are raising the costs for small business.

Besides Obamacare, which is going to REDUCE costs for small business if they have to participate at all, does anyone know what these new regulations are?

You have got to read this letter to my editor


Presented without comment.

How do we turn this place into a think tank?

Democratic Underground started in 2001. For many years it was the Internet's premier cat care forum.

In the last couple of years, we've become one of the best labor, civil rights, taxation and economics resources around...and it's starting to get noticed. There were many mentions of DU in the mainstream media during the election. They're noticing. We have the smartest people, the right side of the issues, and credibility. Pat yourself on the back.

Now we need to go all the way and form a public policy institute. Thinking out loud, we will need:

The first thing is to form research teams led by people with masters degrees in economics, public policy or business administration, or doctorates in things like medicine. Just to pick one name, Aristus is an MD and would be good to head a health policy team. Degrees confer legitimacy - important because many of us are self-educated in our fields of expertise. College doesn't necessarily make you smart; how many hundreds of people learned economics from Arthur Laffer? It does give a veneer of legitimacy.

We would need specific projects to work on.

We would need channels to get our work to the public; Rachel Maddow is one, maybe Joe Scarborough.

Are there any well-spoken, super smart, very beautiful DU women living in LA, New York, Atlanta, or the national capitol region? Like it or not, we have to contend with the reality of getting people on TV: great clothes, great hair and Fox Blonde makeup are now required to get you on.camera. You really think SE Cupp would be on television if she wasn't cute? DU women have so much more to offer, but it's got to be packaged properly. Basically, if you are a brainy head-turner and can get to a broadcast center within an hour let us know.

DU would need a folder to store downloadable position papers...we already have the equipment.

I will do the layouts on the papers we create.

We've got momentum. We have cred. And we're adventurers seeking a new adventure. Who's with me?

Holes in the Bible, episode 1: Genesis 1

The quickest way to tell if someone's susceptible to Christianity is to get out your sheep farming manual, turn it to Genesis 1, and hand it to your test subject.

If that person reads the chapter then throws the Bible at your head, he's immune.

Genesis 1 is the part where God made the earth and everything on or above it in six days. This is a fun chapter because God isn't completely psychopathic yet. Let me see...

On day 5, God was busier than a one armed paper hanger. He created all the animals, male and female. Day 6 was a light day. He made one thing: Adam. He made the apes on day 5 so, since the apes are similar to us, he had a good head start. But he only made one human! We know he was aware of the need for males and females when he made the orangutan, the lion, the sloth and the pigeon. We also know he was aware of the need for hermaphrodism when he made the earthworm. But in man, the crowning achievement, he only made one. Was Adam supposed to reproduce by budding?

And since Adam had no need for sex organs as, with no women around to make pregnant with them, why did God bother with them?

We know from our reading God eventually realized he fucked up and made a woman. Instead of just making one out of dust like he did with everything else, he hit Adam in the head, removed a pair of his ribs and made Eve from them. Why would he need to do that?

We can assume that Eve, because she was made from part of Adam, is in fact his sister. We should therefore find this passage, but don't: "Adam asketh the Lord, 'Lord, what shalt I call her?' And the Lord proclaimed from on high, 'She is called Eve. Since she was made from thine rib, she is your sister. As thou art fuckest thy sister, thou art a Redneck. As penance thou shalt buildeth a fine house. It shalt be ten cubits by fifteen. And it shall have a front porch. When thy house is done, I shalt createth the refrigerator. I will put the refrigerator on thy front porch, so thou will not have to go back in the house on hot days for a beer. Do thou hast questions, my son?" Adam looked up and asked, "what's beer?" And the Lord proclaimed from on high, "thou shalt findeth out."

That passage, sadly, isn't in there.

Where is Jimmy John's when you need him?

Arby's is running an ad campaign highlighting their freshly-sliced meat. I just saw a spot where "passersby" (whose hair and makeup are perfect but some people take pride in their appearance) are shown a video on an iPad of Subway's meat factory's slicing equipment.

It would be more impressive, of course, if Arby's didn't use mechanically formed meat.

Now, whatever atrocities Jimmy John's is guilty of (and they are legion), they do use roasts in the form they come off the animal...so what could be entertaining is seeing the reactions of people watching the hydraulic press that makes Arby's meat.

How do you decontaminate a sewing machine?

About six months ago I went to Goodwill looking for funky shit and found a sewing machine for $7.99. I have made six or seven things and some of them are really good - especially after I learned the directions that come with patterns are usually wrong.

Anyway, this year it's going to be homemade presents for all. My teabagger brother is getting a throw pillow to decorate his new truck.

When I went to the fabric store I was looking for cloth with Kenworth logos because the truck is a Kenworth. Before I found that, I saw some cloth with "Republican" written all over it. Yeah, that's him.

(I got it at Jo-Ann Fabrics, who also sells a cloth with "Democrat" all over it; I made the shirt I wear to Party functions out of that.)

So now I have this pillow that would be nice if it didn't have "Republican" written on it a hundred times, and a contaminated sewing machine. Should I wash my machine in bleach, wipe it down with alcohol, or donate it back to Goodwill and get a new one?

Idaho Teacher in Face-Marking Incident Faces Probe


Utne Reader Condensed Version: a fourth-grade teacher in Cassia County, Idaho (which is as far south as you can get in this state; it forms part of the Utah state line) offered her students the chance to choose their own incentive for meeting reading goals. The little bastards chose a punishment: anyone who didn't make the standard could either miss recess or let the rest of the class write on their faces with permanent markers. Nine kids didn't make the cut. Three chose to miss recess, the rest got written on.

It is not reported what the hell this teacher was thinking to agree to this, sorry.

Not enough justice: Karl Thompson gets 51 months federal time


Karl Thompson is one of seven Spokane police officers who beat janitor Otto Zehm to death in 2006. Yesterday he was given 51 months in federal penitentiary.
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