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jmowreader

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Member since: 2002
Number of posts: 28,520

Journal Archives

Truckers don't pay income tax

Romney says he loves small businessmen.(They're delicious on toast points.)

Romney hates the people who don't pay income tax.

Truckers are both. After deducting fuel, depreciation on an extremely expensive asset, per diem, etc., any trucker who knows his way around IRS Publication 17 can get the feds to give him money.

And the only time they feel like victims is when they're at the pumps. But they don't feel like victims. There is no time for that. They have work to do.

I want a reset on those 12 million jobs

Romney knows what a reset is: When he was a liberator of companies, the bonds he used to do it were especially risky instruments. A lot of times, buyers won't take the bonds unless there is some guarantee they will trade at a minimum price. This guarantee, which is underwritten by the LBO firm, is called a reset.

Romney claims his economic plan will--not should, not might, not could if you hold your mouth just right, but WILL--create twelve million jobs. Since his economic plan is the same shit Reagan used to cause the unemployment rate to hit 10.8 percent, if he gets elected I want Romney to guarantee that he will on January 20, 2014, if his economic plan works as well as it has every other time it's been implemented, use his own money to start a corporation that will employ the difference between what Romney's debacle of an economic plan actually created and the 12 million jobs he campaigned on, and he has to keep the corporation open the entire time he is in office.

I expect Harold Stassen to win the election before I expect Romney to, and Stassen died in 2001. But I still want that guarantee from him.

A tool so Mitt Romney can see the reason 47 percent of Americans don't pay fed. income tax



Far fewer Americans were too poor to pay income tax before the Leveraged Buyout artists like Mitt Romney decided the easiest way to make money was to buy companies, bust them up and sell the carcasses.

The best part about Mitt's comment is, many of the people who were fucked by Mitt tuned in to Rush Limbaugh, decided it was "the liberals" that bought up their companies, fired their non-lazy asses and shipped their jobs to China, and turned teabagger. In short, Mitt just threw half his base under one of those campaign buses he flies to.

Proof Dave Ramsey is dumber than a brick

Dave Ramsey was an insurance agent and real estate speculator until Ronald Reagan killed the passive-loss deduction; this caused his bank to call his loans and sent him into bankruptcy. His current gig is being a financial advisor. He has something called the "Financial Peace University," where you pay several hundred dollars to be told to institute an austerity plan to pay off all your debts including your mortgage.

But that's not what we're here for today. (If someone wants to give Dave Ramsey $295 instead of applying it toward one of his debts, that's that person's business.)

In my area we have a teabagger newspaper called the Capitalist Papers. In the August edition we have an article featuring all sorts of teabag heroes complaining about Obama's "you didn't build that" comment--to the CP's credit they DID print the entire quote above all the ranting.

Here's Dave Ramsey's contribution:
"This has exposed him as being an extreme left-wing liberal...The reason the government is there is because of guys like me. I'm the one who supports the programs...you know who pays property taxes today with no children in this particular school system? Me! One of the largest property tax payers in my county because I own a bunch of real estate."

Uhh...Dave...remember Luke 12.48? If you didn't feel like paying property taxes, why in hell did you buy property? And if you didn't feel like being the biggest property tax payer in the county, why are you its largest landholder?

Glenn McCoy: the male Ann Coulter

Do not ignore ear infections

Today we are running an obit for a 19-year-old man who died of "a severe ear infection that caused a blood clot in his brain."

I had no idea you can die from an ear infection, but obviously you can. Be careful out there.

What would a "BIC for Him" pen look like?

Google "BIC for Her." This is, apparently, not a joke: someone came out with a pen for women only.

Since they have a pen for women only, they certainly must come out with a pen for men only just to be gender-neutral.

My thought: writing utensil at one end, beer opener at the other.

I have to tell you about this encounter with a right-to-lifer...

This was from last week, but it's still pretty good.

I worked at the Democratic Party booth at the local fair. It was actually good this time...our right-wing state representative screwed the pooch this cycle by working to recall the mayor over a park (very long story) and a LOT of people think she shouldn't have gotten involved, so our new state rep for Coeur d'Alene, Idaho, will probably be a nice lady named Anne Nesse. (Phil Hart, the worst state legislator in Idaho, lost in the primary. The guy who will probably replace him is really disappointed he doesn't get to run against Phil Hart, but worse things have happened.)

Back to the right-to-lifer: this guy stopped by the Democratic Party booth to call us all baby-killers and worse. At one point he asked me, "so when do YOU believe life begins?" I told him life begins when you can deduct it from your taxes. It's fun to watch teabaggers' heads explode.

There's a reason no one ever asked Romney for his birth certificate

We can't get his tax returns.

We can't get a straight story on when he left Bain Capital.

Or his record as governor of Mass.

Or, for that matter, his tenure as head of the Salt Lake Olympic Organizing Committee.

Much less anything about the 22 percent of deals he started, finishing with the company in bankruptcy.

He won't even tell us which state he's a legal resident of.

We didn't ask Romney for his birth certificate.

Because we knew we wouldn't get it.

How not to make Fickelgruber's Never Melting Ice Cream

In Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, one of the magical and impossible treats Wonka was supposedly working on was an ice cream that never melts. Grandpa Joe said you could leave it in the hot sun all day and it would never go runny.

Then the spies stole the recipe for this and sold it to one of Wonka's competitors, and the next thing you know there's a shop on the way that sells Fickelgruber's Never Melting Ice Cream.

On to the present time...one of my nieces gave me an ice cream maker attachment for my stand mixer, and of course I've been using the hell out of it. (I have the most wonderful idea that I'll tell you about after I see if it actually works.) On Monday I decided to make an especially rich and creamy ice cream, so I whipped up a batch of batter and froze it. The next day I had some, and there was a lump of it in the bottom of the dish. I wash my dishes in the morning so I put the bowl in the sink and forgot about it.

The next day, the lump (which had been at room temperature all night) was exactly the same shape. So I did what any curious soul would do: put a spoonful of it in a custard cup and stuck it outside all day. The lump was exactly the same shape--hadn't melted at all.

You should not make this because it's like eating a bowl full of sweetened butter, but here's how if you're as insane as I am:

5 cups heavy whipping cream (there is "whipping cream" and "heavy whipping cream," and for this you want the heavy, higher-fat version)
1 cup sugar
1 tablespoon vanilla
8 egg yolks

Put all this shit in a pan and bring to a slow simmer, stirring constantly. When done, put in fridge overnight to cool. The next morning, freeze according to the directions on your ice cream freezer.

Nutritional information: You don't really want to know.
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