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Member since: 2002
Number of posts: 27,955

Journal Archives

You know you could make a killing with this business

Service deep fat fryers at county and state fairs and other outdoor festivals. Someone has to do it. It may as well be you.

Start work over Memorial Day Weekend, finish up on Halloween, have enough money to not need to do anything else.

"Sharknado" headed to Blu-ray September 3


So when's Zimmerman moving to Idaho?

Is John Boehner no longer orange?

I've been getting a lot of pictures of Boehner in the last few weeks, and he's nowhere near as unnatural-colored as he used to be.

What would stop brave doctors from providing illegal abortions?

We know abortion is a necessary medical service, and properly done abortions carry little risk. This is a serious question: what would stop a doctor from setting up a sterile-enough room in her spare bedroom and offering this service illegally, or establishing a clinic in a state where it's legal and setting up a transport network to make an end run around these Decrees 770?

I just had to

Someone wrote a letter to one of my weeklies. He said he wrote to Boar Teats Labrador asking our esteemed congressman why there's no ammo at Ace Hardware. He (the letter writer, not the useless congressman) said the rumor mill had it that Obama was buying all the powder so as to disarm the population.

My response, which I sent to the editor: the reason there is no ammo, is the Fifth Annual Obama's Gonna Take Away Our Guns Any Second Now Sale is going so well the ammo plants can't safely make enough ammo to meet the demand.

Small-town police reports are the BEST entertainment!

From the Adams County, Wash., sheriff's blotter:

Saturday, July 6, 10:01 pm. A deputy responded to a location on West Cunningham Road, where an intoxicated person was being held down by another person. The deputy asked the person to get off the intoxicated person. He did, stood up, and was talking to the deputy. Then he headbutted the deputy in the face. He was booked into jail for assault third degree.

Friday, July 5, 6:20 am. Deputies responded to Highway 395, where there were two subjects in the median of the roadway, leading another with a bag on his head. Their vehicle was disabled and they were waiting for a ride. The bag was to prevent the man's sunburn from worsening.

Shall we talk electoral politics for a bit?

Do a four-second cross-dissolve to February 1, 2015. That will give all the states who elected governors a chance to inaugurate them and all the legislatures including Congress a chance to convene.

How many teabaggers will still be in office? My guess is under ten.

Some days being the obituary clerk really sucks

About a month ago I went to my every-two-months hair appointment. While there, Val my stylist told me all about the new woman she hired. Her name is Heather and Heather is everything my stylist could ask for...hard-working, proficient, stable, knows how to present herself in a professional manner...I thought she'd be a great person to have on staff.

Today I got a file full of obits to put in the system. Heather died in a car wreck on July 2.

I called Val. She is taking this hard.

Pa. waxing salon fires employee for refusing Brazilian waxing


A Western Pennsylvania woman has sued the Pittsburgh waxing salon that employed her, claiming she was fired after refusing a Brazilian wax treatment as part of her training.

In the lawsuit filed in federal court last week, Jennifer Finley, 35, says a corporate trainer from her waxing chain, the European Wax Center, told her and her colleagues in October that they would have to perform the bikini wax treatment on one another. After declining, Finley says she was immediately terminated.

One would think that if this is a job requirement, they'd tell you at the interview.
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