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Member since: 2002
Number of posts: 30,535

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Now for important stuff: AL Cy Young winner?

The race is down to Felix Hernandez (Seattle) and Corey Kluber (Cleveland). Who ya like, DU?

Role-player at Idaho corn maze killed by bus


There's a corn farm near Hauser, Idaho, which is near the Washington-Idaho state line. And as corn farmers do, he creates a maze in his field every year after the harvest.

This year, he added a "Zombie Slayer Paintball Bus" attraction. I don't know exactly what that is, but I can guess: he arms his guests with paintball guns, loads them into an old school bus, drives them across a field with people dressed up as zombies in it, and the guests shoot the zombies.

On Friday night, one of the zombie actors at this maze ran too close to the bus, tripped, fell under it and was instantly killed.

I'm not sure why he was close enough to the bus to allow this to happen. An investigation will shortly follow, and the place is closed this weekend - probably by the Idaho State Police, who want everything where it is while they gather evidence. They're also doing probably the least-necessary autopsy in the history of autopsies.

Today's safety tip: If you are thinking about doing something like this - which would be really fun for a lot of people - buy a few cans of Field Marking Paint, which you can get at athletic supply stores and I think I've seen it at Home Depot. Measure your zombies' heights and double the height of your tallest one, then paint a line on the ground that far from the path of the bus. And then send any zombie who walks across that line home immediately.

Let's see just how absolutist Sam Brownstain is

The soon-to-be-ex governor of Kansas claims his state can continue to block same-sex marriage because the voters in Kansas put a same-sex marriage ban into the Kansas constitution, and a state constitution trumps the federal one.

So let's take this right to the edge of his little reality: There are several states that would, if asked, put a ban on handguns in their state's constitution. Follow along because I know this would be as unconstitutional as Brownstain's beloved marriage ban. I'm running down the list here: Massachusetts, which has always had strict gun control, would go for it. After Sandy Hook, we could probably get Connecticut. Hawaii almost certainly would, as would California. I'm not talking about any stinking "no new guns, but the old ones are grandfathered in" law, I mean a "get the things out of the state within thirty days and never bring one here again" ordinance. In Brownstain's world that would be okay because it's in a state's constitution, correct?

The far right needs to understand something, and understand it right now: The Constitution doesn't just protect the things you like.

Dipshit of the week: Meth-head steals car, paints it with house paint

Once again, no link, sorry...

On Friday, one Esiquio deLeon, Jr., of Ephrata, Wash., was sent up the river for a year and a half. How he got there: In May, Mr. DeLeon stole a Toyota. He then pried off the Toyota emblem, painted the car with white house paint and removed the rear license plate - but not the front one - to conceal it from the owner and the police. He then went shopping. He parked the car in the store's employee parking lot and went inside. The store's employees noticed Mr. deLeon was wearing pants with white paint splatter on them and the paint on the car was still wet, and called the cops. He agreed to let the cops search the car. In it were the paint, the brush, the license plate and the bump key he used to steal the car in the first place. In his front pocket was some meth, in his back pocket was the Toyota emblem.

I swear. Some people's children.

This is going to backfire: $9.35/hour to mint gold coins?

We're running this ad today:


There is a company in the town I live in that manufactures bullion coins from silver and gold mined in Idaho. They run four 12-hour crews. You work 12 hours and get off 36. Problem is, they only pay $9.35/hour to the day-shift workers and only $9.85 to the night-shift workers. Even for this town that's low, and most jobs don't come with built-in temptations like these do.

What Mitt Romney's explanations for his loss have always reminded me of

Remember Jake trying to talk Carrie Fisher out of killing him in the third act of The Blues Brothers?

How to solve the NFL and NBA's "bad boy" problem

Mandatory corporate sponsorship.

Think, if you will, of auto racing. As Darrell Waltrip once put it, "what makes a race car go fast is what's painted on the hood" - the logo of some product. The companies who own those logos won't put up with The Face Of Our Company being a criminal off the track, and they'll make a team get rid of a driver quick if he becomes an embarrassment. The drivers know this, and they behave.

The NFL and NBA are different: teams are named after the town they're supposedly from, and the players tend to run amok. I don't think Ray Rice would have initially received a two-game suspension if he played for the McCormick Ravens. Nor do I think the football team based in Washington, DC, would have the name it has if it was sponsored by Lockheed Martin.

I am starting to wonder about Vice President Biden's security

It's becoming more and more apparent President Obama has a security force not worthy of the name. How about the vice president? "President Boehner" is an unsettling thought.

My preference right now would be to find all the troops who like President Obama in the Army's Special Forces, 75th Rangers and 82nd Airborne - there can't be all that many, but you know there are some - and have THEM guard the president until we can get a new Secret Service detail that takes its job seriously.

To prove your wingnut bona fides, bring up pirates

Today I have the sad duty to report some seriously whacked-out shit. This was reported in the Columbia Basin Herald, but it's not on their website.

Washington's 4th CD is currently represented by Doc Hastings, who's retiring. Vying for his seat are two Republicans: Dan Newhouse, conservative and tree fruit farmer, is challenging Clint Didier, teabagger, potato farmer and retired Super Bowl-winning NFL tight end.

There was a debate between these two on Monday in Othello. They started talking about how best to deal with ISIL, and Mr. Didier said all these words:

"In the Constitution they said if there is no country to declare a war against, as we had that problem back in the day with the Barbary pirates, let us marque and reprisal. 'And therefore we put forth letters of marque and reprisal.' We mark the guys that need to be taken out. We have the special forces to do it."

Let me see...
1) A "letter of marque and reprisal" is a pirate hunting license, not a way to "mark" the guys you want to kill.
2) It's issued to private vessels, not to government forces.
3) The United States hasn't issued one since 1810.
4) There's been an international treaty banning the issue of these letters since 1859.

There's a reason the Washington Potato Commission is NOT endorsing the potato farmer for Congress.

Anyone familiar with Fenway Park?

If so, which would be more reasonably priced: a used 400mm lens and a seat in the bleacher section, or a seat close enough to the infield that I can use my 200?
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