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skip fox

Profile Information

Member since: 2002
Number of posts: 13,445

About Me

I'm an old professor, having taught at the university level in Louisiana for over 30 years. I've written 4 chapbooks and 5 full-sized books (all listed as poetrythough many include other genres as well), including _Sheer Indefinite: Selected Poems, 1991-2012 (Univ. of New Orleans Press, 2012). I've also written a 500+ page bibliography of three contemporary poets: Robert Creeley, Ed Dorn, and Robert Duncan. My first vote for President of the United States was for Dick Gregory in 1968 (Bowling Green, Ohio). Favorite quote: "It's easy to be an idealist if you don't have to mind the evidence, but no one said it was supposed to be easy" (Richard LaPauvre).

Journal Archives

"What has science ever done for you?" . . . Please come CAPTION Jeb Bush!!!

Jeb ("'Science' is just a one-syllable word like 'bull' and 'crap.'") Bush is saying: "And that's why I say it is the height of human arrogance for scientists to say that climate change is real and significant enough to effect human life on this planet. . . . Where do scientists get such arrogance and confidence in their so-called knowledge? . . . It's outrageous. . . . Can you think of any other reputable group who seem so sure of themselves? . . . . Ever? . . . You'd think they had a track record of being right or something! . . . Geez."


Above CAPTION based on the following Huffington Post story:


"Onward Christian Holy Rollers!" . . . Please come CAPTION Rev. Robert Doggart!

Rev. Robert ("Don't call me late for the slaughter") Doggart is saying:"Well, Joe, actually you're the first to have me on, to let me tell my side of the story. . . . We weren't trying to organize and terrorize Muslims in the United States, we really just wanted too take our country back any which way we can! . . . (And didn't the Supreme Court rule that bullets were like free speech?) . . . I mean, those Mosques could make swell ice-cream parlors or roller rinks. . . . After all, they're always terrorizing us! . . . Even Fox News won't talk about us. . . . Why do you think is that?"


Above CAPTION based on the following Media Matters story:


"Words are not enough, no, nor are thoughts . . !" Please come CAPTION John McCain!!!!

John ("'Moral Integrity' won't fit on the banner.") McCain is saying: "Today I stand before you proud to announce my endorsement of Lindsay Graham for President of the United States!!! . . . Of all the men I've ever known or even ever heard of, Lindsay stands head and shoulders above them all. . . . Hyperbole is useless in his description. . . . If Lindsay would have been in the Hanoi Hilton with me in the late sixties, the North Vietnamese guards would have surrendered to us simply because of the brilliance of his character. . . . Some of you might think I'm exaggerating. . . Not a wit. . . . not one drop!. . . . If anything I'm understating Lindsay's preeminence! . . . After all, my credibility's on the line!"

A traitor to human consciousness! . . . Please come CAPTION Rush Limbaugh!!!

Rush Limbaugh is saying, "Listen closely caller, and I'll say this real slow: 'Boston . isn't . dropping . me . . . I'm . dropping . Boston!' . . . . I mean, who needs an audience of cream-puffs faking John F. Kennedy's accent. . . . And Indianapolis prides itself too much on being regular, . . . So much so, they can't appreciate my unique brand of intelligent humor. . . . So, caller, I say good riddance to both of them! . . . Besides, I'm trying to streamline things around here."


CAPTION based on the following Media Matters story:


A Blast from the Past! (or a Pabst with a Blast!) . . . Please come CAPTION W, ca. 2003

W. (The Original Numb Nuts) just finished saying: "It's absolutely crazy. . . . It won't happen! . . . For you to believe that anyone will ever look back at this time and say that the Iraqi War was a mistake, . . . .well, for that you'd have to either believe that I'm ignorant or Dick Cheney is devious, if not both! . . . No. . . . Not in ten-thousand years! . . . Next question."


CAPTION based on nothing but the desire to have such a sound bite in the archives.

"After all, maybe she had it coming.". . . Please come CAPTION Bill O'Reilly!!!

Bill ("Just say that one more time. . . Just open your mouth, b*tch!") O'Reilly is saying" "Listen up, folks. It's clearly different when a white man in the middle or upper classes abuses his wife than when a poor black man does it, since many of the white wives might have it coming. . . . It could well be a teachable moment! . . . But when a black man does it, it invariably leads to the breakdown of the African-American family. . . . Besides, the white middle- or upper-class man can afford it."


Above CAPTION Based on the following Crooks & Liars story:


"The poor hate money!" . . . Please come CAPTION Brit Hume!!

Brit (The Square's Square) Hume is saying: "If Obama would actually pay attention to Fox News, he'd see that we don't demonize the poor, that on the contrary like Jesus, Fox loves the poor! . . . That's why we're always so disappointed to see how their laziness, militant ignorance, disdain for normal values, indeed their wholesale embrace of depravity, has to worked against their best interests. . . . You'd think they could stop smoking crack for one moment and look around. . . . But Obama doesn't care. . . . He just wants to besmirch Fox's 'fair and balanced' reputation once again!"


Above CAPTION based on the following Fox clip on Media Matters:


(The CAPTION, meant to satirize, is sadly close to what Hume actually says. It's hard with not to get scooped by these jokers.)

Today's Special? Cranium Fecal Stew! . . . Please come CAPTION Scott Walker!!!

Scott ("I think I left the flamethrower on at home.") Walker is saying: "Well, Bob, what makes me the best Republican candidate on foreign affairs, even better than Hillary Clinton, our former Secretary of State, is because when I was a kid I memorized the entire Encyclopedia Britannica entry on over 32 countries! . . . My teachers couldn't believe it, . . . but they had to admit . . . . And I haven't forgotten a single word, . . . not even a comma. . . . Talk about qualifications!!! . . . Do you know the average length in kilometers of Denmark's coastline at low tide? . . . Come on, . . . ask, . . . ask me!"


Above story based somewhat loosely (depends on your perspective) on the following Crooks & Liars story:


Irony knows no holiday. . . . Please come CAPTION Judith Miller's response to James O'Keefe!!

Judith (Ol' Wooden Nickel) Miller is saying: "You and I both know what it means, James: . . . it means it's up to us to maintain the highest standards of journalistic practice. . . . Everybody else is now in the thrall of some narrative or in the bag of some special interest or crazed liberal mind-set which makes it impossible to be objective. . . . They simply have no ethics! . . . I know it's not an easy job, James, but we've got to face it: . . . It's up to us! "


Irony knows

Above CAPTION is rather closely based on the O'Keefe/Miller interview available at Crooks & Liars:


"I'm a much Latino as Charleston Heston was!" . . . Please come CAPTION Jeb Bush!!!

Jeb ("Opaque is just translucent inside out.") Bush is saying: "What I meant by saying that, . . . it's really very simple, see, . . . if what you mean by 'what we know now' as something indefinite, like dreams or so-called climate science, 'what we think we know we mean,' a wavering thing like an old ox cart with uneven wheels, then heck no, Roberto! . . . But , if you mean by 'what we know now' more something certain and barreling down the freeway like a sleek tour-bus, as sure as plain geometry and God, then, ya, why not? . . . I mean 'no,' of course not! . . . I wouldn't have invaded Iraq. . . . Like I said, it's really very simple."


Above CAPTION based on the events of mid-May, 2015, during which Bust claimed that "knowing what we know today," he'd still invade Iraq, only to realize such a statement was obviously insane, then to recant, twisting in the winds of his own rhetoric, as they say, by the 16th. Here's a Huffington Post play-by-play of his dervished turmoils:

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