Hometown: New Jersey
Home country: USA
Member since: 2001
Number of posts: 39,146
Hometown: New Jersey
Home country: USA
Member since: 2001
Number of posts: 39,146
- 2014 (23)
- 2013 (10)
- 2012 (36)
- 2011 (7)
- December (7)
- Older Archives
is that there isn't a white male involved.
Gracie is a living monument to her mother's preference to a black man over a white one -- and now that there's a little brother coming, it means she's had sex with him MORE than once -- and WILLINGLY!!!
This Swiffer commercial, on the other hand, has barely made a ripple because it's the lesser of two evils. A black woman desiring a white man, while not "ideal," is at the very least "logical!"
Posted by rocktivity | Thu Jan 30, 2014, 12:48 AM (2 replies)
It's time to play "Name That Goon!"
...One's a trash-talking thug trying to stay one step ahead of the law. The other was played by James Gandolfini. Can you identify the speaker of the ten quotes below?
1. "Unless I get something real good...shit, I'll just send myself, you know what I'm saying."
2. "What the fuck am I, a toxic person or something?"
3. "Log off, that "cookies" shit makes me nervous!"
4. "They're not willing to give me anything except appreciation. Fuck them."
5. "You got no fuckin' idea what it's like to be number one. Every decision you make affects every facet of every other fucking thing."
6. "I've got this thing and itís fucking golden, and I'm just not giving it up for fuckin' nothing. I'm not gonna do it. And I can always use it. I can parachute me there."
7. "That motherfucker's full of shit. He's shaking me down."
8. "Our recommendation is fire all those fucking people, get 'em the fuck out of there..."
9. "I could have made a larger announcement but wanted to see how they perform by the end of the year. If they don't perform, fuck 'em."
10. "Jesus Christ! The money I've been dropping in here, I could've bought a fuckin' Ferrari."
Posted by rocktivity | Thu Jan 16, 2014, 12:46 AM (1 replies)
1. Not realizing that since it involves more than one state, the Port Authority of New York AND New Jersey can be investigated federally. You thought that promoting the PA contact who initiated the traffic closing and turning your chief of staff into the new state attorney general would shut down any investigation on the state level, and that would be that.
2. Not putting the nomination of your chief of staff on hold immediately and calling for a federal investigation yourself. That would have made it at least look like you wanted the most objective investigation possible.
3. Complaining to NY governor Andrew Cuomo that his executive director at the Port Authority was being too nosy. That indisputably makes you part of the coverup (if not the crime itself) and confirms that you knew there was no Ft. Lee traffic study.
4. Having your crew -- I mean, senior staff -- do their email communicating privately rather than on the government servers to avoid detection because they would have been on public record. I think this was done with your knowledge and consent because if you were innocent, you would have fired them -- not allowed them to resign -- for that alone, and at least a month sooner.
5. And here's your biggest mistake of all: successfully cultivating such a vindictive, despotic, lying, bullying cult of personality that the idea of Bridge(t)-gate happening without your consent brings an entirely new dimension to the concept of cognitive dissonance. All whom you've victimized and terrorized are creeping out into the sunlight now, and their stories reveal a pattern of behavior that puts the possibility of your being innocent light years beyond a reasonable doubt.
And I thought that Bon Jovi were the only New Jerseyites who could give me so much pleasure.
Posted by rocktivity | Wed Jan 15, 2014, 12:50 AM (0 replies)
Thank you, and a tip of my tiara in welcome! This is the beginning of our second decade, and I would like to open this year's ceremonies with some dedications.
In case you don't already know, MiddleFingerMom, our DU Lounge lizard du tutti DU Lounge lizards, is no longer with us. To say that his extraordinary personality and talent will be sorely missed is of course an understatement. But keeping him close to us is as easy as reviewing his posts, and it has been suggested that the Lounge be renamed in his honor -- a sentiment I heartily endorse.
And in case you don't know, I'm a Jersey girl who nicknamed its current governor Chris Christie "Governor Soprano" years ago. I didn't realize how right I was, and we've touched only the tip of the iceberg of this George Washington Bridge(t) scandal. I also dedicate this year's ceremony to Shawn Boburg of the Bergen Record and Rachel Maddow of MSNBC for refusing to back down on this story. Here's hoping that next year's ceremony will be full of Christie-related entries (minus the fat jokes, please) while his political future sleeps with the fishes.
As I read through the past ten years' worth of awards, an evolutionary process reveals itself -- from just one line to a complete thread; from choosing entries from Latest Breaking News only to choosing them from all DU forums and groups. Eleven years ago, I found myself replying "You call this NEWS?" to stories that seemed too redundant, outdated, or both to qualify as actual journalism. More recently, I've been coming across too many "real" stories that I would have bet my first-born male child were from The Onion or Andy Borowitz -- a new subcategory is born!
Now let's get to this years' awards -- unless you'd like to go through the archives first:
PREVIOUS AWARD WINNERS
2003 - Bush's Ancestor's Bank Seized (Grandad - Germany/Nazi)
2004 - Cheney May Help or Hinder Bush's Chances
PREVIOUS AWARD CEREMONIES
2005 - U.S. Army Report: Military Lost Dominance In Iraq After Invasion
2006 - Iraq On Brink Of Becoming A Failed State
2007 - Iraqis Blame U.S. Invasion For Discord
2008 - Bush sees no recession coming
2009 - Bottled water sales dry up - Industry Asks 'Why?'
2010 - Former Head of FEMA says Bush Administration Downplayed Severity of Hurricane Katrina
2011 - Wal-Mart: Our Shoppers Are "Running Out Of Money"
2012 - CIA Docs Confirm: Cheney Is A Liar!
SPECIAL ACHEIVEMENT AWARD
Fox Accidentally Uses Photo of Same-Sex Couple to Illustrate Importance of Heterosexual Marriage
Media Source: FoxNews.com
Posted by: kpete
Best Post (Other Than Mine): "Good for them! Oh, and fuck Fox News."
SPECIAL ACHIEVEMENT "NOT FROM THE ONION" AWARDS
Orlando CBS Affiliate Apologizes For Airing Jags Football Game
Media Source: Yahoo Sports.com
Posted by: NightWatcher
Best Post (Other Than Mine): "The Raiders vs. the Jaguars has almost no appeal, unless you're in Jacksonville quarterback Chad Henne's immediate family."
-- NightWatcher/Frank Schwab
Advice to a Republican awaiting his prison term
Media Source: Courier Journal.com
Posted by: alfredo
Best Post (Other Than Mine): "If Farmer survives prison...(h)e could always become an evangelist and shear the 'sheep.' Chuck Colson did that and made a good living. "
HONORABLE MENTIONDick Armey dishes dirt accidentally
Media Source: Maddowblog.msnbc.com
Posted by: muriel_volestrangler
Dick Armey had no idea he was speaking to the left-wing Media Matters organization during an interview last week...Instead, Armey thought he was chatting with the conservative Media Research Center...
Best Post (Other Than Mine): "Do Penis Navy and Schlong Marines know what any of this means?"
HONORABLE MENTION: "TO FIGURE THIS OUT, YOU HAD TO DO A FREAKING STUDY?" CATEGORY
(New York) City Report Shows a Growing Number Are Near Poverty
Media Source: New York Times
Posted by: alp227
Best Post (Other Than Mine): "'All the news that's fit for the eyes of the One Percent' should be their new motto."
Govt Report: We Wasted a Ton of Money in Iraq
Media Source: AP / TalkingPointsMemo.com
Posted by: meegbear
Best Post (Other Than Mine): "'Wasted' is not exactly the right word.
All of the above?"
THIRD RUNNER UP
New Report Warns That Drones Could Be Used for Stalking, Voyeurism
Media Source: Slate
Posted by: Redfairen
Best Post (Other Than Mine): "The report further suggest Drones will make great marital aids and sex toys. Bedrooms will need to be enlarged to accommodate take off and landings."
SECOND RUNNER UP
As inauguration approaches, Obamaís most virulent foes want the celebration stopped
Media Source: Washington Post
Posted by: Faygo Kid
Best Post (Other Than Mine): "We have had the accountability moment...Obama won. And any criticism now would be un-American.*
*The George W. Bush model. And I intend to stick to it."
FIRST RUNNER UP
Colin Powell Rebukes GOP: "I Am A Republican" but "GOP Has A Dark Vein Of Intolerance"
Media Source: Meet The Press (NBC TV)
Posted by: egbertowillies
Best Post (Other Than Mine): "It's a new era, bro. You don't have to dance forever with the one what brung ya, especially when that one disrespected you through most of the prom."
Congratulations to the winners, and I thank all DU-ers without whose intestinal fortitude in reading these stories these awards cannot happen. Now it's time for the annual after party: this year, Chris Christie gets the bar bill; and as usual, any clothing that gets stuck in the chandelier will be donated to charity.
Posted by rocktivity | Sun Jan 12, 2014, 05:35 PM (19 replies)
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