Hometown: New Jersey
Home country: USA
Member since: 2001
Number of posts: 40,246
Hometown: New Jersey
Home country: USA
Member since: 2001
Number of posts: 40,246
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- 2013 (11)
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- 2011 (7)
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It's time to play "Name That Goon!"
...One's a trash-talking thug trying to stay one step ahead of the law. The other was played by James Gandolfini. Can you identify the speaker of the ten quotes below?
1. "Unless I get something real good...shit, I'll just send myself, you know what I'm saying."
2. "What the fuck am I, a toxic person or something?"
3. "Log off, that "cookies" shit makes me nervous!"
4. "They're not willing to give me anything except appreciation. Fuck them."
5. "You got no fuckin' idea what it's like to be number one. Every decision you make affects every facet of every other fucking thing."
6. "I've got this thing and it’s fucking golden, and I'm just not giving it up for fuckin' nothing. I'm not gonna do it. And I can always use it. I can parachute me there."
7. "That motherfucker's full of shit. He's shaking me down."
8. "Our recommendation is fire all those fucking people, get 'em the fuck out of there..."
9. "I could have made a larger announcement but wanted to see how they perform by the end of the year. If they don't perform, fuck 'em."
10. "Jesus Christ! The money I've been dropping in here, I could've bought a fuckin' Ferrari."
Posted by rocktivity | Thu Jan 16, 2014, 12:46 AM (1 replies)
1. Not realizing that since it involves more than one state, the Port Authority of New York AND New Jersey can be investigated federally. You thought that promoting the PA contact who initiated the traffic closing and turning your chief of staff into the new state attorney general would shut down any investigation on the state level, and that would be that.
2. Not putting the nomination of your chief of staff on hold immediately and calling for a federal investigation yourself. That would have made it at least look like you wanted the most objective investigation possible.
3. Complaining to NY governor Andrew Cuomo that his executive director at the Port Authority was being too nosy. That indisputably makes you part of the coverup (if not the crime itself) and confirms that you knew there was no Ft. Lee traffic study.
4. Having your crew -- I mean, senior staff -- do their email communicating privately rather than on the government servers to avoid detection because they would have been on public record. I think this was done with your knowledge and consent because if you were innocent, you would have fired them -- not allowed them to resign -- for that alone, and at least a month sooner.
5. And here's your biggest mistake of all: successfully cultivating such a vindictive, despotic, lying, bullying cult of personality that the idea of Bridge(t)-gate happening without your consent brings an entirely new dimension to the concept of cognitive dissonance. All whom you've victimized and terrorized are creeping out into the sunlight now, and their stories reveal a pattern of behavior that puts the possibility of your being innocent light years beyond a reasonable doubt.
And I thought that Bon Jovi were the only New Jerseyites who could give me so much pleasure.
Posted by rocktivity | Wed Jan 15, 2014, 12:50 AM (0 replies)
Thank you, and a tip of my tiara in welcome! This is the beginning of our second decade, and I would like to open this year's ceremonies with some dedications.
In case you don't already know, MiddleFingerMom, our DU Lounge lizard du tutti DU Lounge lizards, is no longer with us. To say that his extraordinary personality and talent will be sorely missed is of course an understatement. But keeping him close to us is as easy as reviewing his posts, and it has been suggested that the Lounge be renamed in his honor -- a sentiment I heartily endorse.
And in case you don't know, I'm a Jersey girl who nicknamed its current governor Chris Christie "Governor Soprano" years ago. I didn't realize how right I was, and we've touched only the tip of the iceberg of this George Washington Bridge(t) scandal. I also dedicate this year's ceremony to Shawn Boburg of the Bergen Record and Rachel Maddow of MSNBC for refusing to back down on this story. Here's hoping that next year's ceremony will be full of Christie-related entries (minus the fat jokes, please) while his political future sleeps with the fishes.
As I read through the past ten years' worth of awards, an evolutionary process reveals itself -- from just one line to a complete thread; from choosing entries from Latest Breaking News only to choosing them from all DU forums and groups. Eleven years ago, I found myself replying "You call this NEWS?" to stories that seemed too redundant, outdated, or both to qualify as actual journalism. More recently, I've been coming across too many "real" stories that I would have bet my first-born male child were from The Onion or Andy Borowitz -- a new subcategory is born!
Now let's get to this years' awards -- unless you'd like to go through the archives first:
PREVIOUS AWARD WINNERS
2003 - Bush's Ancestor's Bank Seized (Grandad - Germany/Nazi)
2004 - Cheney May Help or Hinder Bush's Chances
PREVIOUS AWARD CEREMONIES
2005 - U.S. Army Report: Military Lost Dominance In Iraq After Invasion
2006 - Iraq On Brink Of Becoming A Failed State
2007 - Iraqis Blame U.S. Invasion For Discord
2008 - Bush sees no recession coming
2009 - Bottled water sales dry up - Industry Asks 'Why?'
2010 - Former Head of FEMA says Bush Administration Downplayed Severity of Hurricane Katrina
2011 - Wal-Mart: Our Shoppers Are "Running Out Of Money"
2012 - CIA Docs Confirm: Cheney Is A Liar!
SPECIAL ACHEIVEMENT AWARD
Fox Accidentally Uses Photo of Same-Sex Couple to Illustrate Importance of Heterosexual Marriage
Media Source: FoxNews.com
Posted by: kpete
Best Post (Other Than Mine): "Good for them! Oh, and fuck Fox News."
SPECIAL ACHIEVEMENT "NOT FROM THE ONION" AWARDS
Orlando CBS Affiliate Apologizes For Airing Jags Football Game
Media Source: Yahoo Sports.com
Posted by: NightWatcher
Best Post (Other Than Mine): "The Raiders vs. the Jaguars has almost no appeal, unless you're in Jacksonville quarterback Chad Henne's immediate family."
-- NightWatcher/Frank Schwab
Advice to a Republican awaiting his prison term
Media Source: Courier Journal.com
Posted by: alfredo
Best Post (Other Than Mine): "If Farmer survives prison...(h)e could always become an evangelist and shear the 'sheep.' Chuck Colson did that and made a good living. "
HONORABLE MENTIONDick Armey dishes dirt accidentally
Media Source: Maddowblog.msnbc.com
Posted by: muriel_volestrangler
Dick Armey had no idea he was speaking to the left-wing Media Matters organization during an interview last week...Instead, Armey thought he was chatting with the conservative Media Research Center...
Best Post (Other Than Mine): "Do Penis Navy and Schlong Marines know what any of this means?"
HONORABLE MENTION: "TO FIGURE THIS OUT, YOU HAD TO DO A FREAKING STUDY?" CATEGORY
(New York) City Report Shows a Growing Number Are Near Poverty
Media Source: New York Times
Posted by: alp227
Best Post (Other Than Mine): "'All the news that's fit for the eyes of the One Percent' should be their new motto."
Govt Report: We Wasted a Ton of Money in Iraq
Media Source: AP / TalkingPointsMemo.com
Posted by: meegbear
Best Post (Other Than Mine): "'Wasted' is not exactly the right word.
All of the above?"
THIRD RUNNER UP
New Report Warns That Drones Could Be Used for Stalking, Voyeurism
Media Source: Slate
Posted by: Redfairen
Best Post (Other Than Mine): "The report further suggest Drones will make great marital aids and sex toys. Bedrooms will need to be enlarged to accommodate take off and landings."
SECOND RUNNER UP
As inauguration approaches, Obama’s most virulent foes want the celebration stopped
Media Source: Washington Post
Posted by: Faygo Kid
Best Post (Other Than Mine): "We have had the accountability moment...Obama won. And any criticism now would be un-American.*
*The George W. Bush model. And I intend to stick to it."
FIRST RUNNER UP
Colin Powell Rebukes GOP: "I Am A Republican" but "GOP Has A Dark Vein Of Intolerance"
Media Source: Meet The Press (NBC TV)
Posted by: egbertowillies
Best Post (Other Than Mine): "It's a new era, bro. You don't have to dance forever with the one what brung ya, especially when that one disrespected you through most of the prom."
Congratulations to the winners, and I thank all DU-ers without whose intestinal fortitude in reading these stories these awards cannot happen. Now it's time for the annual after party: this year, Chris Christie gets the bar bill; and as usual, any clothing that gets stuck in the chandelier will be donated to charity.
Posted by rocktivity | Sun Jan 12, 2014, 05:35 PM (19 replies)
(PRESS RELEASE) Just in time for the holidays comes the debut of a free Online and Mobile Shopping, Business, and Community Directory For Asbury Park, Long Branch, Red Bank, and Union New Jersey.
New Jersey Savings Sites co-owns America's largest database of legal opt-in e-mail addresses. That's great news for homes and businesses with zip codes 07701, 07712, 07740, 07083, or 07088, because New Jersey Savings Sites is offering two months of free community-based online advertising — and full-time free municipal ad space.
New Jersey Savings Sites Residents
Few shoppers enjoy the JOB of managing coupons or making an extra trip to the mall just to save a little money. With New Jersey Savings Sites, the cell phone or tablet becomes a savings directory AND community bulletin board courtesy of our customized GPS phone apps and mobile Web page. And there's more to come:
New Jersey Savings Sites Businesses
For New Jersey businesses, Savings Sites couldn’t be simpler: They enter contact information under one of dozens of merchant categories, and post a sentence or two about a special offer or discount. Ads can be scheduled and edited at any time -- there is even a special feature for posting wanted ads if the business is hiring.
Savings Sites ad space is free for December 2013 and January 2014 with no obligation. February and March 2014 are half price at $125.00. Then it’s just $125.00 monthly — a fraction of what "national local" coupon advertisers charge to send just ONE ad to a just a few thousand local homes.
New Jersey Savings Sites Local Government
New Jersey Savings Sites is also affiliated with EmailNotices.com, the leader in automated municipal emailing services. In exchange for allowing links to Savings Sites merchants in constituent emails, EmailNotices offered local governments free use of its legal opt-in database. New Jersey Savings Sites takes it even higher-tech -- and at no taxpayer cost -- by offering free accounts to the towns' municipalities. And everyone's privacy is protected: contact information is not subject to New Jersey’s Open Public Records Act.
"Through emergency push notifications, municipalities can send out instant information about school closings, town meetings or road construction," explains Zone Director John Borbone. "Even the smallest businesses will be able to compete with the larger ones with laser-targeted advertising. And residents can save money, time, and gas shopping right in their communities. With New Jersey Savings Sites, everyone wins."
The Savings Sites phone apps are available at http://tinyurl.com/savSitesItunes and http://tinyurl.com/savSitesAndroid. Customers can register at http://njsavingssites.com by clicking on town of their choice. Requests for business registration and free ad space should be emailed to Mr. Borbone at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Posted by rocktivity | Mon Dec 2, 2013, 04:52 PM (1 replies)
an Old Thanksgiving tradition
And a new one!
Posted by rocktivity | Mon Nov 25, 2013, 11:58 AM (0 replies)
which had as much to do with starting the Bush regime backlash as anything.
Despite this being available for free, more than a million purchased a copy on iTunes!
And here's another oldie but goodie:
Posted by rocktivity | Sat Oct 19, 2013, 10:14 AM (0 replies)
Posted and self-deleted by another DU-er, but an important addition to my Rethug Psycho collection:
None of the existing formal diagnostic categories in psychiatry today addresses adequately the issues of excessive power-seeking, corruption and destructiveness. Excessive power strivings both poison the personality of the individual who is obsessed in his spirit and mind with power and do unacceptable harm to other peoples' lives.
The present proposal of a diagnostic category of a Personality Disorder of Excessive Power Strivings is intended to fit into current diagnostic schema of DSM as well as into an earlier proposal to examine in all psychopathology not only the burdens and damage people do and impose on their own selves and their own functioning, but also the harm they do to other peoples' lives and functioning.
The diagnosis is to be used when the individual displays prolonged and severe manifestations of the following listed criteria.
The basic feature which is always present in this personality disorder is:
Intense and extensive power strivings.
In addition, at least three other of the following characteristics should be present:
Posted by rocktivity | Thu Oct 17, 2013, 12:56 PM (4 replies)
On October 7, 2013, Bon Jovi drummer Tico Torres turned sixty years old. But he received his birthday present a month earlier -- from his appendix.
On September 10, 2013, the band was preparing to leave their hotel for the Mexico City venue where they would be playing a sold-out show. But Tico began experiencing severe abdominal pains, and they ended up rushing him to a hospital instead.
Three days later, frontman Jon Bon Jovi announced: "...Thankfully, the operation was a success and Tico is now recovering...We'd like to thank the doctors, nurses and all the hospital staff who helped...Tico sends his thanks for all of your thoughts and prayers...He even promised the doctors he would come back for the surgery right after the show..."
Well, Jon, his bandmates, and their fans owe Tico's appendix a lot of thanks, too.
That is, suppose it had decided to hang in for just a few hours more and detonate while Tico was drumming away at the sound check -- or worse, the gig itself. With his heartbeat and body temperature elevated, the attack could very easily have resulted in his appendix bursting. Would he have been correctly diagnosed and transported to the hospital in time? Were only a couple of hours the difference between the world's Bon Jovi fans sending their thoughts and prayers and their sending their condolences?
Of course, Tico is such a good drummer that it's only logical that his appendix would have natural rhythm, too. Or maybe it loved Tico so much, it just couldn't bring itself to destroy them both. Whatever the reason, I am very thankful that Tico is alive and well to perform another day -- and I will be eternally grateful to the body part that sacrificed itself to make his survival possible.
Posted by rocktivity | Sun Sep 15, 2013, 09:41 PM (3 replies)
Posted by rocktivity | Wed Sep 11, 2013, 08:08 PM (7 replies)
The Onion and Andy Borowitz are still the masters, of course. The Currant's not in their league because they rely too much on insults (Anthony Weiner: ‘I Have A Hard-On’ For New York City) and just plain making stuff up (North Carolina Proposes Ban on Condoms). This article works because it spins a spoonful of inconvenient truth into a three-tiered cake with frosting. Most encouraging!
Posted by rocktivity | Fri May 17, 2013, 01:12 PM (0 replies)