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Gender: Male
Hometown: Kentwood, MI
Home country: USA
Member since: 2001
Number of posts: 23,112

Journal Archives

Florida man hides sausage in pants. (The *edible* kind, people. Get your minds out of the gutter!)

A 42-year-old Fort Walton Beach man is accused of hiding a pack of sausages in his pants.

Fort Walton Beach Police officers were called for the theft on Oct. 7, according to the arrest report. Two managers at Publix Supermarket reported seeing James Michael Patterson take a pack of sausages from the shelf, walk to another aisle and “shove the package down his pants.”

Patterson had previously been trespassed from Publix on Oct. 3, the report said. One of the managers recognized him and called police before the theft for the trespassing.

The managers said that after Patterson concealed the sausages, he continued walking through the store, according to the report. When officers located Patterson, he was carrying a case of soda.


Florida man claims to be a prophet, swings chain above his head, points gun at neighbors

The felon declared himself a prophet with the power to speak to animals.

Then, deputies say, Michael T. White began to swing a chain over his head in a circular motion, telling an Auburndale couple it was "the time of Revelations."

The homeowners pointed a handgun at the 31-year-old Lakeland man, forcing him off their property Saturday.

But White, deputies say, just went after their neighbors.


Instead of a ticket, officer gives a girl a booster seat

A Michigan officer who pulled over a vehicle because a 5-year-old girl wasn't secured in a booster seat decided a ticket wouldn't cut it.

Instead, Emmett Township public safety officer Ben Hall bought her a seat.

"A ticket doesn't solve the situation," Hall told WXMI-TV. "What solves it is the child being in the booster seat like she should be. It was the easiest 50 bucks I ever spent."

Hall was on patrol Friday in the southern Michigan community when he pulled over the vehicle after someone reported that it had an unsecured young child inside. Alexis DeLorenzo and her daughter were riding with a friend, and Hall said DeLorenzo told him that she had fallen on hard times and couldn't afford a booster seat.


Cardinal: Church should scrap the phrase 'living in sin'

A Catholic cardinal suggested Tuesday that the phrase "living in sin" for cohabiting couples should be banned, saying it alienated people from the Church.

"To label people is not helpful," the unnamed prelate was quoted as saying at a major Vatican meeting on family issues gathering some 250 bishops from around the world.

"The language has to change," he said, according to a spokesman for the extraordinary meeting known as a synod, speaking at a daily news conference on the closed-door talks.

The Church should instead encourage a "gradual" rapprochement with unmarried couples, the cardinal urged.


Pig steals 18 beers, gets drunk, starts fight with cow

It's the dead of night in an Australian campground and you can't sleep. There's a great many things you should be worrying about at a time like this. The "wild Down Under" is well known for its giant bugs and reptiles boasting even larger teeth. The last thing you'd be looking out for is a particularly surly and drunk pig tearing through your supplies, but that's exactly what one group of campers stumbled upon.

"It was in the middle of the night and it was these people camping opposite us and they heard this crunching of the can and they got their torch out and shone it on the pig and there he was scrunching away at their cans," a camper named Merida told ABC.

According to the campers, the pig likely crushed three full six-packs of beer over the course of the night, drinking them dry before drunkenly tearing through trash bins at the DeGrey River rest area, east of Port Hedland, Australia.

Fionna Findley from the Main Roads department told local reporters that the feral pig in question has been causing a ruckus in the area for days, tearing through campgrounds and trash in several rest areas. However, this was the first time she had heard of the pig getting drunk and angry.


Coast Guard rescues Florida man trying to get to Bermuda via inflatable hydro bubble

A man was rescued from his hydro pod bubble 70 nautical miles east of St. Augustine, Florida, by a Coast Guard search-and-rescue crew Saturday morning.

Watchstanders at the Coast Guard 7th District command center received a report of Reza Baluchi, a U.S. citizen, floating in an inflatable bubble who was reportedly disoriented and asking for directions to Bermuda Wednesday. The Coast Guard Cutter Webber arrived on scene, conveyed the dangers of his voyage and requested Baluchi terminate his trip due to the lack of supplies on board to sustain him.

On board, Baluchi had protein bars, bottled water, a GPS and a satellite phone.

After he refused to leave his raft, the watchstanders continued to monitor his movements until he activated his Personal Positioning Indicating Radio Beacon (PPIRB) Saturday morning due to fatigue. Coast Guard HC-130 and MH-60 aircrafts out of Air Station Clearwater, Florida, launched to begin searching for Baluchi with the assistance of an Automated Mutual Assistance Vessel Rescue System (AMVER) vessel, motor vessel Maersk Montana.


Florida woman arrested for DUI, moons cops

A birthday celebration turned sour for a North Lauderdale couple when both were accused of DUI after a road-rage incident in Coral Springs, police said.

Records show it was the fourth DUI arrest for Michele Ann Rivera, 49, and the first for Stancel Ganus Kinsley, 68, who were returning home from Kinsley's birthday outing at 1:13 p.m. Sunday.

Another motorist called 911 and told police Rivera was driving a 1999 silver Toyota 4Runner all over the southbound lanes in the 1200 block of North University Drive, according to the arrest report.

The witness told police Rivera stopped in the middle of traffic, got out of the driver's seat, walked to the car behind her vehicle and yelled at that driver for following too closely. Rivera went back to her SUV but got in the passenger side after Kinsley went around the vehicle and got into the driver's seat, the report stated.


Florida semi driver with naked female passenger rear-ends school bus

According to Sheriff Gordon Smith, the woman in the semi was not wearing any clothes. She was given a towel from troopers to cover up in front of the children.

Witnesses said the semi was going about 60 mph when it struck the bus, which investigators said had its crossing arms out and lights flashing.

The crash happened on U.S. 301 near North West 183rd Street, just south of Lawtey, at about 2:45 p.m. As the school bus was slowing to a stop, it was rear-ended by the big rig, which is owned and operated by Mo's Trucking out of Palatka.

The Sheriff's Office said the bus driver saw the semi coming in the rear-view mirror and sped up, which may have minimized the impact.


Uncovering a key ingredient in perfume: whale poop

Ambergris is an animal by-product that's been used for centuries in, as flavoring for food, and as an aphrodisiac. It's one of the world's most expensive substances.

Pretty glamorous, especially when you consider that ambergris is: whale poop.

Christopher Kemp is a molecular biologist at Michigan State University. He's written a book about ambergris called Floating Gold: A Natural (& Unnatural) History of Ambergris.

Kemp says ambergris is used in perfumes because of its musky scent that can hold together the other lighter tones. Besides, its fatty, cholesterol-rich texture can stabilize the fragrance and make it last longer on the wearer's skin.


You're welcome, DU.

Cops: Student Passes Out Pot-Laced Lollipops To Classmates

A police chief in Connecticut says a girl handed out marijuana-laced lollipops to classmates at her high school, and one student was hospitalized.

Enfield Police Chief Carl Sferrazza tells the Journal Inquirer (http://bit.ly/1v89Fo9 ) that the Enfield High student acknowledged sharing the tainted lollipops, which were laced with THC, an active ingredient in marijuana. She said she received the candy in the mail from California.

The police chief says a 16-year-old girl was hospitalized overnight Monday after consuming one of the lollipops. But he says the student who brought the tainted lollipops to school denied giving any to her.

Because the student is being charged is a juvenile, she will not be arrested. Sferrazza says she'll instead be referred to juvenile court.
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