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Mon Jun 2, 2014, 07:41 AM

Poor Neighborhood Pretends To Be Wealthy In Order To Bring National Attention To Their Gun Violence

http://www.freewoodpost.com/2014/05/29/poor-neighborhood-pretends-wealthy-order-bring-attention-gun-violence/

A poor neighborhood on the outskirts of New Orleans, Louisiana is making a bold move to bring attention to their epidemic of gun violence. They have a plan to make their neighborhood look like a well-to-do suburb in order to get the national news to take notice.

“Well, we just want some national media attention to maybe get some legislation moving to stop gun violence,” said a local town council-member. “We’ve seen that a lot of the gun violence coverage is in wealthy neighborhoods, so we figured we’d do our best to get noticed. We’ll begin by throwing a fundraiser for PETA and hold a $500/plate meal at the local high school. Of course, we’ll have to paint and clean the school ourselves since funding has been cut to give money to suburban charter schools that none of our children can seem to get into. After the fundraiser, we’ll ask everyone to rename their children to names like Trent, Bruce, Alice, Mildred, etc. to give the appearance that our children are worth caring about too. However, in order to really sell our dire situation we may have to make everyone’s bank account appear larger than it actually is and give out loaner Mercedes, Range Rovers, and maybe even a Tesla. We’re really hoping that once we get national coverage other cities will take our cue and do similar manipulations of the media. We’ve already heard rumors that the South side of Chicago is in need of a lot of attention, but they haven’t figured out how to nab the media just yet. Hopefully, we can finally get some proactive legislation done.”

Free Wood Post will let you know if this manipulation of the media is successful, or if they really just don’t give a shit.

(This article was written not to diminish the atrocities that happen in wealthy areas, but rather to bring attention to the fact that the majority of gun violence goes unnoticed. Everyone matters… everyone)

18 replies, 1563 views

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Arrow 18 replies Author Time Post
Reply Poor Neighborhood Pretends To Be Wealthy In Order To Bring National Attention To Their Gun Violence (Original post)
Scuba Jun 2014 OP
MrScorpio Jun 2014 #1
Name removed Jun 2014 #2
billh58 Jun 2014 #3
Name removed Jun 2014 #5
billh58 Jun 2014 #6
Name removed Jun 2014 #8
billh58 Jun 2014 #9
Name removed Jun 2014 #12
Scuba Jun 2014 #10
Name removed Jun 2014 #13
Scuba Jun 2014 #14
Scuba Jun 2014 #4
billh58 Jun 2014 #7
Name removed Jun 2014 #11
billh58 Jun 2014 #15
Starboard Tack Jun 2014 #16
CTyankee Jun 2014 #17
Starboard Tack Jun 2014 #18

Response to Scuba (Original post)

Mon Jun 2, 2014, 09:54 AM

1. Brilliant! Simply brilliant!

Actually that sounds like a great idea to do for real.

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Response to Scuba (Original post)


Response to Name removed (Reply #2)

Mon Jun 2, 2014, 11:53 AM

3. Welcome back

and thanks for your concern about the gun violence epidemic in this country. Enjoy your stay.

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Response to billh58 (Reply #3)


Response to Name removed (Reply #5)

Mon Jun 2, 2014, 12:16 PM

6. How many times do you need to be

shown the door before you get the hint Bubba?

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Response to billh58 (Reply #6)


Response to Name removed (Reply #8)

Mon Jun 2, 2014, 12:22 PM

9. Read the SOP for this

safe-haven Group Bubba, and again enjoy your short stay. If you want to "argue" NRA talking points, the Gungeon is the swamp you're looking for.

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Response to billh58 (Reply #9)


Response to Name removed (Reply #8)

Mon Jun 2, 2014, 12:28 PM

10. "I'm willing to change my views if presented with some reason to do so ..."

But you apparently consider 30,000 gun deaths a year in this country insufficient to reconsider your views. How many will it take? 50,000? 100,000? A million?

When will you reconsider?

And by the way, has enough time passed so we can now discuss what happened at Ford's Theater? You can check with Wayne if you're not sure.

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Response to Scuba (Reply #10)


Response to Name removed (Reply #13)

Mon Jun 2, 2014, 12:43 PM

14. "... let us not conflate the 30,000+ gun deaths in this country to gun violence."

Now that's just fucking bizarre!

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Response to Name removed (Reply #2)

Mon Jun 2, 2014, 12:07 PM

4. First of all, the article is satire, but you are apparently lacking that gene ....

... secondly, your loving consideration for the victims of gun violence in this country is noted.

Thirdly, nice job echoing an NRA talking point. So what's your solution? Trickle down?

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Response to Scuba (Reply #4)

Mon Jun 2, 2014, 12:17 PM

7. Most NRA apologists

do not have the satire gene...

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Response to Scuba (Reply #4)


Response to Scuba (Original post)

Mon Jun 2, 2014, 12:53 PM

15. One obnoxious gun troll down,

but still a few to go. I'm pretty sure that MIRT knows who they are, and the rest of them will follow their buddy shortly.

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Response to Scuba (Original post)

Tue Jun 3, 2014, 11:52 PM

16. What a sad indictment of a society gone nuts, when a community has to resort to this.

I can understand why an individual may feel the need to be armed in extreme circumstances, especially in a country where carrying a gun is perceived as a constitutional right. But the insanity of current gun proliferation for alleged self defense is just another sign of a failed society.

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Response to Starboard Tack (Reply #16)

Wed Jun 11, 2014, 04:46 PM

17. This is satire. Still, it really hits home, as good satire should do...

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Response to CTyankee (Reply #17)

Wed Jun 11, 2014, 05:02 PM

18. Oops! I guess my caffeine fix hadn't kicked in yet.

You are right, of course. Excellent satire. Thanks.

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