History of Feminism
Related: About this forumPortraying Men As Stupid to Undermine Women
It's a truism in feminist circles that no one hates men more than anti-feminists, and it's a truism two recent items from the notoriously anti-feminist conservative rag Daily Mail demonstrate neatly. The Daily Mail has a tendency to portray men as hapless dogs who, being more beast than human, can no more be expected to respect women's rights than Sparky can be taught to use the toilet. (Cats, on the other hand....) Unfortunately, other outlets tend to pick up the Daily Mail's man-bashing anti-feminism as if it's light-hearted fluff, and these two stories are no different.
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The story goes on to say that 30 percent of men are dressed by their mothers and another 17 percent by their mothers-in-law. But it's worth noting that the study was conducted not by sociologists, but by a website whose purpose is to guide men's fashion choices. Stylepilot wants to shame men into using their services. At least that goal is a teeny bit less offensive than the Daily Mail's usual hammering at women, telling us that we simply can't have hopes and dreams of our own, because that cuts in to the time that we need to dress our overgrown man-children. Yes, I'm skeptical that the majority of grown men can't dress themselves. It's particularly insulting when you remember that men's clothes tend to be simpler than women's clothes, especially when it comes to what to wear to work.
Story number two is slightly more plausible, but still should cause readers to be skeptical. The claim this time is that women spend hours every week redoing chores their menfolk screwed up. The conclusion, of course, is that men should be relieved of housework duty, because clearly only women can do it right. It's mildly more believable this time because, unfortunately, the tactic of doing a chore badly so that you get out of having to do it in the future is one that is not unknown as a weapon some men use against women in the housework wars. (And we wonder why the divorce rate is so high.) Of course, the article claims that the women believe the men mean well but are simply failures, suiting the Daily Mail's narrative that men are made for the public life and women for scrubbing floors. The willingness of anti-feminists to accept the narrative that men are stupid, if it gets them out of chores, is seemingly boundless.
http://www.slate.com/blogs/xx_factor/2012/03/21/portraying_men_as_unable_to_clean_or_dress_themselves_forces_women_to_do_it_for_them_.html
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i dress my husband. | |
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husband dresses himself. | |
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husband can dress self AND clean all by himself. | |
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husband needs help to dress and with cleaning. | |
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0 DU members did not wish to select any of the options provided. | |
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snot
(10,520 posts)Unfortunately, my quality of life is affected somewhat.
seabeyond
(110,159 posts)finding the strengths.
That's how a partnership should be.
My partner can clean the heck out of a bathroom, and I am the one who goes out with the chainsaw to do the yard.
MadrasT
(7,237 posts)1. It is every individual's job to dress his or her self. Partner dresses like shit? Not my problem. I don't even choose clothes for partners let alone *dress* them. I am not his mother and that is not my job. And I am not about to infantalize a man by tying his tie for him. That is freaking creepy to me.
2. Partner cleans too, or he's not a partner. Does he do it different from me? Possibly. But if he can't clean up after himself in direct proportion to the amount of mess he makes, he's not partner material.
When I was married, my husband cleaned and did his own laundry. He actually wouldn't *let* me do his laundry even if I wanted to (he was very particular about how it was done). I didn't want to do his laundry anyway, so win-win.
seabeyond
(110,159 posts)right there with you.
redqueen
(115,103 posts)What's the payoff? The illusion of some kind of cut rate 'superiority', even if it is only a superior ability to do maid and butler type duties?
My 12 year old daughter learned to tie her own tie off YouTube. This con job of helplessness where domestic responsibilities are concerned is just insulting. Fair is fair.
Moonwalk
(2,322 posts)Which I suppose these anti-feminists would think makes him gay Like heterosexual men couldn't possibly know what looks good on women. He's better than I am at picking out the colors, patterns and shapes that will flatter me.
And my husband would never insult me by doing a chore badly so that I would do it for him. I honestly can't understand being married to a man who'd do such a thing--it'd be like being married to a bratty little boy. If I can do something better, then he says as much and I do it. Just as I say as much to him about certain chores that he does better. I'm better in the kitchen, for example, but when it comes to laundry, he's better.
seabeyond
(110,159 posts)stuff cause it was so cool.
my mom had to take me shopping and spend my money putting my outfits together. i do not care, lol.
i hear ya.
ismnotwasm
(41,976 posts)This is irritating on a personal level. My husband has Multiple Sclerosis. He can no longer work, so each day is a fight to to what he can. He has days when doing the dishes is a victory. He always does his own laundry. He's way better at it than I am. The ability to do any chore, any task is NEVER taken for granted.
I suck at laundry. I didn't realize there was a gender laundry IQ.
He's a jeans and tee shirt guy, but on those occasions when we have to dress up, it's more of a 'how do I look in this'? And it's mutual, and mutually respectful.
To infer that men are dumbasses when it comes to household chores is sinking pretty low. Men are fully capable, and thet know it.
As the article points out, It sounds like a bizarre attempt to maintain a what a slowly changing status quo, one that isn't about actual capability, but gendered responsibility.
seabeyond
(110,159 posts)us, too.
hey.... i think that is exactly it and why i go after so many issues today that seem so small. it is an overall shifting back to the almost biblical times in ways, for women being hit on so many fronts.
the whole ... commercials telling men what they are has become so fuckin in your face ridiculous.
ismnotwasm
(41,976 posts)Men don't get a pass from me. They are grown up human beings.
I have a military son in law who bemoans the passing of what he calls 'warrior culture' I told him warrior culture ended with the first long range missile. I mean, what the hell? He knows a lot about military history, but is legal murder and testosterone in overdrive what makes up masculinity? How about simple humanity? Do we constantly have to evaluate along gender lines?
He's actually a great guy, but the military fucked with his head in certain areas.
Texasgal
(17,045 posts)and cooking ( except on weekends) I'll cook sometimes.. He does all of the laundry too.
Our job schedules work out this way, if I were to come home and then cook we would be eating at 10:00 at night!
I handle all of the bills, large purchases and home maintenance.
We are fine with this.
seabeyond
(110,159 posts)the coolest.
Texasgal
(17,045 posts)but in all honesty it really works for us. We don't have the schedule for sexist roles!