some women have "scolded" me for using girl when talking about women

or lady, or.....

i am often reading that to bring up a point, to bring a person into awareness, to have a discussion, is the same as a scolding, or a demand that we all follow certain rules.

i have been made aware of a lot of things that help contribute to the conditioning of society to a patriarchal society that conditions us in dehumanizing women.

when having a discussion, to bring awareness to others, to have that defined in the most insulting or untrue way is a form of patriarchy, isnt it? the fight against awareness by some people in dealing with an issue, or even allowing a person to suggest that maybe there might be reasons calling a grown woman a girl, is to reinforce the patriarchy. a suggestion or discussion should not be redefined as a scolding or a demand about another behavior. we are looking for progression. and the only way to gain progression is thru awareness. surely that is a good thing on a progressive discussion board.

i was made aware of my own behavior, often calling a grown woman a girl because "woman" was almost an insult. no one said it out loud, but so many do it unconsiously. implying she is old. old and female = bad. girl, lady means still have youth = good. once i started owning the word woman, i started noticing how many people refuse to use the word woman. i also fell i love with the word woman.

is it a bad thing to discuss this? must we be labeled as extreme, because we notice something in our society that helps to condition all of us? even if it is a small thing, and granted, calling a woman a girl is not top on my list, but surely it is ok to discuss it.

this, to me, is allowing others to define me. i do not do well with others defining me.