A female violinist saved 10 years worth of unsolicited, creepy online messages from men

[YoungDemCA]

Every woman who has ventured online is well aware of the perils. Sheltered by anonymity, sexual predators thrive on the Internet, where sending vulgar missives rarely has consequences.

Most women cope by promptly deleting these inappropriate messages and trying to forget about them. Mia Matsumiya, a professional violinist based in Los Angeles, chose to save them.

For the past 10 years, Matsumiya has collected over 1,000 obscene communications she’s received in a folder called “creepiness.” Now she’s sharing them all with the world, on a tongue-in-cheek Instagram account aptly named @perv_magnet.

According to Buzzfeed, Matsumiya gained a following after she started blogging about her band performances in 2003. Since then, she’s received a seemingly endless torrent of sexually aggressive messages on Facebook, MySpace, OkCupid and other sites.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/news/morning-mix/wp/2015/10/21/a-woman-violinist-exposes-10-years-of-lewd-fetishizing-messages-from-men-online/

Good on her for doing this.

[niyad]

1. k and r. and yet, we are repeatedly told that there is NO war on women.

[yallerdawg]

2. It is shameful.

I bet there isn't a female public figure anywhere online who doesn't get subjected to this disgusting, sexist misogynistic commenting.

We are a crass, vile, nasty society - unfiltered on the internet.

When we have internet services which offer filters from this, we'll have a better internet.

[NewJeffCT]

3. over 100 per year

so, basically at least 2 per week. Sometimes, it's a wonder that any woman can stand being on the internet if they have to reveal their sex somewhere.

[AZ Progressive]

4. This is shit that men don't have to deal with.

Male privilege, like white privilege, is not having to deal with things that women have to deal with on a daily or routine basis.

[Warpy]

6. Not only that, but the poor things really don't get it

A lot of them will read this sludge and think they're just trying to tell her she's pretty.

I'm just surprised there aren't gangs of vigilante women out there armed with meat cleavers.

[randys1]

13. Basically ALL men are misogynist. Some of us work against it and try and change

Now I think there are some millennials who are learning not to be at an early age, so maybe it is more generational now

[gregcrawford]

15. No, Randy, all men are NOT misogynists...

... only diseased, weak, and malicious males - they are not men - with the emotional maturity of four-year-olds, can sink this low.

The lowest common denominators of the social equation revel in macho horseshit that encourages them to demean others to elevate their own self-image, rather than working to be men worthy of admiration by the opposite sex. These worms deserve to be castrated; they give good and decent men a bad name.

[JTFrog]

16. Some of that needed to be said....

Except the castrated part... that's pretty over the top. You might want to rethink that bit.

[gregcrawford]

18. The rate of recidivism among sexual predators...

... is higher than any other criminal category. I've known a few guys who were carved out of the same turd as those that Mia describes, and they are well and truly BAD people, and sexual predators always have to up the ante to get off on their perversion of choice, and women die as a result. I knew one woman that the authorities ridiculed instead of helping. She was murdered by one of these creeps. So no, I will not rethink that at all.

[gregcrawford]

22. I should add that in 2008, in a neighboring town...

... where I was doing set design for a children's theater camp, a 14 year-old girl was murdered by her uncle, a pervert who was known to the police, but for whom everyone made lame excuses. I did not know her, but many of the local kids I was working with went to school with her, and were traumatized by the crime.

Jacques (pronounced, "Jakes&quot was also an online predator as well as a child porn dealer. IMHO, no punishment is savage enough for such monsters.

It is a statistical certainty that more than one of the scumbags in Mia's collection will escalate to murder, sooner or later. Chemical or surgical castration could prevent it, but if and when it's done, it's usually too late to save some woman's life.

[geek tragedy]

34. it's virtually impossible for a man to grow up in our society

and not have some of that crap find its way into our neurons.

Fighting misogyny is an ongoing and active process for each man, internally.

[Skittles]

21. there has never been a female president and we are over half the population

no indeed

[hfojvt]

5. gota love the title

I guess the messages she got from women don't count? There seem to be at least a few of those.

Some of them seem to be reacting to her profile or to some seemingly anti-American statements she made?

I mean one starts out something like "if you hate Americans so much ..."

So I kinda wonder what the context is.

And at least one of her own replies seems a little bit demented.

That is HER fantasy about a man drowning and having his (presumably tiny) dick bit off by a shark, isn't it? Uhm, okay, thanks for sharing.

[mercuryblues]

12. this is the context

https://instagram.com/p/81uVdnk8bV/?taken-by=perv_magnet

[CoffeeCat]

23. This woman is a friend of a friend...

...and I've read the messages that men send her. They are vile beyond comprehension. They are creepy and demented. And the majority of these men think that she is a young girl--which adds takes all of this to a whole other sick level.

I think the woman is tired of this constant barrage from men who are attempting to communicate vile messages to a woman that they think is a child.

She's literally received thousands of messages.

Why in the world is it to bad that she responds with humor or anger or insults?

What would you say if a sick, twisted pedophile was hitting on you--without shame? Then, he sends you a picture of his dick?

You're actually going to fault her for making a joke?

The piece of shit deserves to be shark bait!

[ismnotwasm]

24. This is typical of what happens when women speak out

Unfortunately.

[CoffeeCat]

25. ...and that is why we need to fight back!

I will no longer stay silent when I see malarkey like this!

It is cathartic to respond, but also the responses show women that they don't have to allow the bs to stand.

WE need to call out people who blame the victim and put the blame where it belongs--on the epidemic of predators in our society!

[ismnotwasm]

26. Excellent

[hfojvt]

28. I didn't see a picture, just a bizarre question

Nor do I know anything about a pedophile. Some seemed to be calling her old and washed up, so I don't know about this "they think she is fifteen" thing.

Many of the messages I saw were very tiny and I didn't spend a lot of time clicking on them to enlarge them.

So you think that is a "joke"? It is supposed to be funny?

Seemed like a pretty vile fantasy to me.

Or I guess if it is a joke, it's a fairly vile joke.

and again you said "that men send her". Yet how many of those messages on her new blog are from women? Out of about twelve messages that I looked at, two seemed to be from women. Which would mean 160 out of 1,000 if that rough ratio holds.

Yet you and the title make it ALL about the men.

[JTFrog]

29. You realize that you are in a Feminist group?

I'm pretty sure I've never seen you come down on the side of feminism. Quite the opposite actually.

[LanternWaste]

27. A rational minds realizes the difference between the statistical norm and the statistical aberration

"I guess the messages she got from women don't count?"

A rational minds realizes the difference between the statistical norm and the statistical aberration. However, I fully understand pretending otherwise if bias compels one to conflate the two, regardless of the petulant irrelevancy of whether you love the title or not.

[Duppers]

9. You misconstrued intent.

And in some small, indirect way, you're defending these assholes.

Bye.

[Myrina]

10. He's just pissed because he recognized himself in some of the messages ...

... never could figure out why the dick pics he sent her got no response ...

[randys1]

14. I am the one who voted to leave it, and now realizing we are in a (group) and not GD

i was wrong to do that.

Juror 3 was right, I was wrong.

My concern is hiding criticisms of public figures, we dont want to go down that road and while this Woman is not a public figure, per se, it is not someone on DU being directly attacked, thus my logic.

I almost never hide a post when I serve, however in one area I am rethinking that, but nothing to do with this.

Juror #4 is of course 100% correct, and I was wrong.

On Wed Oct 21, 2015, 01:56 PM an alert was sent on the following post:

!5 minutes of fame
http://www.democraticunderground.com/?com=view_post&forum=1255&pid=58699

REASON FOR ALERT

This post is disruptive, hurtful, rude, insensitive, over-the-top, or otherwise inappropriate.

ALERTER'S COMMENTS

"She is from LA. Probably wants her 15 minutes of fame" "Get a life martyr."

Wow. This is the History of Feminism group where we discuss issues important to women. To make disgusting remarks about a woman who has been harrassed and threatened online for over 10 years is horribly inappropriate enough, but coming into a safe haven feminist group to do it is highly insensitive and over the top.

JURY RESULTS

You served on a randomly-selected Jury of DU members which reviewed this post. The review was completed at Wed Oct 21, 2015, 02:09 PM, and the Jury voted 6-1 to HIDE IT.

Juror #1 voted to HIDE IT
Explanation: No explanation given
Juror #2 voted to LEAVE IT ALONE
Explanation: It is a very misogynist thing to say, duh, but it is about someone in public life so since when do we silence criticism of others? But misogyny is ugly, for sure.
Juror #3 voted to HIDE IT
Explanation: Since the post was posted in a safe zone hide it. But if it had't been there I would have not hidden it. It's good to know who's who around here.
Juror #4 voted to HIDE IT
Explanation: Insulting and misogynous post. So typical of the deviant male culture toward women. Misogyny (/mɪˈsɒdʒɪni/) is the hatred or dislike of women or girls. Misogyny can be manifested in numerous ways, including sexual discrimination, belittling of women, violence against women, and sexual objectification of women.
Juror #5 voted to HIDE IT
Explanation: No explanation given
Juror #6 voted to HIDE IT
Explanation: No explanation given
Juror #7 voted to HIDE IT
Explanation: No explanation given

Thank you very much for participating in our Jury system, and we hope you will be able to participate again in the future.

[JTFrog]

17. Do you not look at alerter comments when you sit on a jury?

Just curious because the alter mentioned twice that the post was in a group.

[Ilsa]

11. Yeah, she collected 10 years of harassment

from strangers. The point is that she had to put up with a thousand creepy comments about herself just because her job is to perform in front of others. Part of her life included wading through the filth disgusting pigs threw at her online, in volumes. It might even be representative of the harassment many women face on a daily basis, just walking through town on the way to work.

Pointing out how disgusting these jerks are, and how unnecessary and puerile their behavior is, is a service to women.

[KG]

8. ^^^well, that didn't take long

[ismnotwasm]

19. I was reading about this

So powerful and what's with the anger about a woman fighting back on this thread? So what if she collected 10 years worth. Woman have entire lifetimes of memories of being harassed. Jesus.

[F4lconF16]

20. Read that as violent feminist...

Was not at all sure how this was going to end. O.o