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Sun Jun 24, 2012, 11:26 AM

The Patriarchy Hurts Us All

Basically, we don’t have to be perfect all the time. There is no need to beat yourself up for feeling shit about your body after seeing some bullshit crap magazine about the perfect bikini body when you’re halfway through a McChicken Sandwich. It’s okay for you to cry in a changing room because your body type isn’t the regulatory shape and size demanded of high fashion. You’re allowed to feel intimidated when some utter twat thinks it’s hilarious to sexually harass you, rather than reeling off some splendidly witty speech, referencing the perceived size of his penis. It’s okay for you to buy a shit ton of make up even though you know that we are only conforming to society’s standards of beauty which we tear down on a regular basis. Society is already causing us enough grief, if you get down on yourself for every non-feminist thought you have your brain might explode.

It’s okay for these things to get to you, as long as we remember who the real enemy is. It is not our own bodies, it is not ourselves and it is not each other. It is the bullshit, patriarchal system that we live in. We are not immune to it. Look, I know we would all love to be bad ass patriarchy-smashers for every single moment of our living, breathing lives, who never let it get to us. I know I would. I’d love to get in the face of every arsewipe who thinks my time is theirs when I’m trying to get on with my day. I’d love to tell the fashion industry to go take a running jump when they make me feel like my body is the problem. I know I’d probably be a lot happier for it. I think we all would. But it is our experiences that bind us together. It connects us with other brilliant, amazing women who have experienced the same feelings of worthlessness. We can talk about it, get angry about it, do something about it. It allows us to get involved with smashing patriarchy, because patriarchy has made this shit personal.

*

Do you remember that moment, when you’re little, and whining to your parent about the umpteenth product on a TV advert that you want? And they say, “Sweetie, you know they’re just trying to make you want it so that we’ll have to buy it for you?” And then you realise exactly how they’re trying to manipulate you, and you hate it. And every time for the rest of your life when an advert may entice you, you might re-examine that thought. You get a little stronger. A little more resistant.

This is what patriarchy does. It tries to manipulate us into thinking we’re worthless in order to sell us shit we don’t need, or to go on crappy and unnecessary diets or to generally remind us that we should sit down and shut up. But as long as we force ourselves to keep examining and questioning it, it will lose a little more power. We’ll get a little stronger. A little more resistant. And eventually, together, we might even take the bugger out.



http://feministdating.wordpress.com/2012/05/30/the-patriarchy-hurts-us-all/

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Response to seabeyond (Original post)

Sun Jun 24, 2012, 11:38 AM

1. patriarchies exist only by denying power to others.

denying power and a sense of self-worth not only to women but to all men younger than the patriarch.
they are a social model which is the opposite of what a democracy is supposed to be. originally patriarchs had a sense of "noblesse oblige" that required that all members of the community be cared for by him. it was an outward sign that the patriarch was fulfilling the expectations that god had for anyone in that position. modern oligarchs don't share that sense of obligation to those with less.

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Response to iemitsu (Reply #1)

Sun Jun 24, 2012, 11:46 AM

2. I just wish that more men could see just how harmful it is to them too.

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Response to iemitsu (Reply #1)

Sun Jun 24, 2012, 11:59 AM

6. ah... the bushy election, promoting him as our father. living in texas, that mentality is well

known and felt. but i resented the hell out of the right bus was my father. i have one. a very fine one. one that kicks bush's ass. that is NOT what i want from a president.

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Response to iemitsu (Reply #1)

Sun Jun 24, 2012, 12:12 PM

10. I think from a feminist prospective patriarchy

refers to the power of the patriarchy to set cultural standards and laws that conform to those standards. Noblesse oblige is a pretty good description of that power and I mean that for all groups who do not fit the standards of patriarchy,for centuries those standards have been defined by straight white males, at least in western culture. The fact that our patriarchal culture is now ceding power to minorities,women and the LGBT community,etc after many years of struggle, is not "proof" that the patriarchy no longer exists. As evidenced by those who argue it's gone by stating "we gave you the vote,therefore the patriarchy is dead, we gave you your right to marry,therefore the patriarchy is dead,we voted in an African American president,therefore the patriarchy is dead. That fact that those basic human rights were"given" to us by governing bodies that are in fact still very much controlled by straight white males is in fact the modern day version of "noblesse oblige".

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Response to sufrommich (Reply #10)

Sun Jun 24, 2012, 12:17 PM

11. very good. nt

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Response to sufrommich (Reply #10)

Sun Jun 24, 2012, 12:20 PM

12. yep, except that they won't feed us on feast days.

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Response to seabeyond (Original post)

Sun Jun 24, 2012, 11:55 AM

3. Apparently someone thought you were being misogynistic in your rant,

 

Last edited Sun Jun 24, 2012, 12:36 PM - Edit history (1)

because you used the word twat.

Just got back, doing it now.

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Response to Lionessa (Reply #3)

Sun Jun 24, 2012, 11:57 AM

5. Let's don't post jury results in here... it only attracts some of the META crowd...

Can you please just maybe say it failed 6-0 and provide via PM if someone wants details?

thanks!

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Response to Lionessa (Reply #3)

Sun Jun 24, 2012, 12:02 PM

7. what hlthe2b says.... and thanks. it is interesting.

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Response to Lionessa (Reply #3)

Sun Jun 24, 2012, 12:33 PM

13. I do appreciate the post. But if you could edit out the jury results that would be very helpful.

We have a rule here that we don't post jury results, to try and keep things to un-META here, as best we can.

but again, really do appreciate the post.

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Response to Lionessa (Reply #3)

Sun Jun 24, 2012, 12:43 PM

15. .



thanks

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Response to seabeyond (Original post)

Sun Jun 24, 2012, 11:57 AM

4. this country is built on

the white-supremacist-capitalist-patriarchy. This whole process has become completely entrenched i the thought process of the masses. It has become institutionalized which makes almost impossible to eradicate.

Look at schools. Look at the criminal system. Look at the corporation board rooms. Look to the status to which women (color) have been relagated.

Here' s a good quote by bell hooks: "I will not have my life narrowed down. I will not bow down to somebody else's whim or to someone else's ignorance."

If you've not read her, you should, though she does take a bit of getting used to. She lays it all out there and in language that is rather - er - blunt and colorful. While she writes a lot about black exploitation, she focuses on black women, and women in general, too.

The fact is, until we eliminate the racist patriarchy - we will all of us suffer. Unless, of course, you're a rich and power white male. Though to be honest, there are some rich and power black families who have forgotten where they came from. And some rich and powerful women who don't give a sh*t about anyone but themselves.

But for the masses - look around. Who are the disenfranchised? Who suffers first? and Who suffers most?

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Response to mzteris (Reply #4)

Sun Jun 24, 2012, 12:05 PM

8. "I will not have my life narrowed down. I will not bow down to somebody else's whim

love it. i hear her. lol. thank you for the name. i am gonna pull her up.

so true, everything you say

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Response to mzteris (Reply #4)

Sun Jun 24, 2012, 12:07 PM

9. bell hooks



bell hooks (nee Gloria Watkins) is Distinguished Professor of English at City College in New York. Born in Hopkinsville, Kentucky in 1952, hooks, received her B.A. from Stanford University in 1973, her M.A. in 1976 from the University of Wisconsin and her Ph.D. in 1983 from the University of California, Santa Cruz.

Although hooks is mainly known as a feminist thinker, her writings cover a broad range of topics on gender, race, teaching and the significance of media for contemporary culture. She strongly believes that these topics cannot be dealt with as separately, but must be understood as being interconnectedness. As an example, she refers to the idea of a "White Supremacist Capitalist Patriarchy" and its interconnectedness, rather than to its more traditionally separated and component parts.

*

hooks/Watson's use of a pseudonym is intended to honor both her grandmother (whose name she took) and her mother, as well as provide her the opportunity to establish a separate voice from the person Gloria Watson.

hooks, like Paulo Freire, sees education as the practice of freedom. Profoundly influenced by Freire, she sees his ideas as affirming her "right as a subject in resistance to define reality." (Teaching to Trangress , p. 53).

http://www.education.miami.edu/ep/contemporaryed/bell_hooks/bell_hooks.html

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Response to seabeyond (Reply #9)

Sun Jun 24, 2012, 12:33 PM

14. thank you for the post.

bell hooks has made many positive contributions to the modern conception of what it means to be either a woman or a man.
the problem with the patriarchy, as pointed out by several posters above, is that they do not see themselves as the same sorts of creatures that they see when they look at us.

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Response to seabeyond (Reply #9)

Mon Jun 25, 2012, 04:33 AM

17. Ah, bell hooks.

She was at my university once. Great lady.

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Response to seabeyond (Original post)

Sun Jun 24, 2012, 07:26 PM

16. Kicked

and recommended

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