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Tue Jun 19, 2012, 09:38 AM

A Bill Seeking To Regulate Use of the Word Vagina

The scourge of women being allowed to speak the word vagina in a legislative debate over what happens when women use their vaginas must be stopped. And if women are not capable of regulating their own word choice, the state should regulate it for them. To that end, we propose that the Michigan House promptly enact HB-5711(b)—a bill to regulate the use of the word vagina by females in mixed company. The bill will include Part A(1)(a) providing that any women who seeks to use the word vagina in a floor debate be required to wait 72 hours after consulting with her physician before she may say it. It will also require her physician to certify in writing that said woman was not improperly coerced into saying the word vagina against her will. Section B(1)(d) provides that prior to allowing a female to say the word vagina a woman will have a mandatory visit with her physician at which he will read to her a scripted warning detailing the scientific evidence of the well-documented medical dangers inherent in saying the word vagina out loud, including the link between saying the word vagina and the risk of contracting breast cancer.

Because some women who say the word vagina in legislative proceedings occasionally come to regret having used the word, Part C(7) provides that there will also be mandatory counseling with counselors who have never used the word vagina in their lifetimes, and who would indeed die before they ever used such a word. Moreover the state health code is to be amended such that no woman who says the word vagina may do so out loud or in mixed company until and unless she is in a facility with full surgical capabilities. Objections that speech is not in fact a surgical procedure notwithstanding, it’s clear that the risk of saying the word vagina out loud is such that it should not be undertaken without proper medical safeguards to guarantee against any and all risks of negative consequences.

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Also, provision d(9)(a) of the bill would amend the current law to ensure that if any listener who hears the word vagina spoken aloud—although it may be the medically correct term for a woman’s reproductive organs—feels any religious objections to such speech, that speech may be curtailed in the interest of preserving the listener’s religious freedom as detailed in the First Amendment to the United States Constitution. Any other marginally relevant provisions of the First Amendment to the United States Constitution are herein rescinded as needed.

Finally, Michigan state health statutes shall be amended by provision 12(b)(6) which provides that prior to speaking the word vagina out loud, any female resident of Michigan shall undergo a mandatory trans-vaginal ultrasound procedure, during which she must watch such ultrasound while listening to a government-scripted speech about the grave dangers of speaking anatomically correct words, aloud, in an enlightened democracy.

Such speech will, by necessity, include the word vagina.

http://www.slate.com/articles/double_x/doublex/2012/06/the_word_vagina_it_s_time_to_regulate_against_it_.html?utm_medium=referral&utm_source=pulsenews

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Response to seabeyond (Original post)

Tue Jun 19, 2012, 09:42 AM

1. Yet do we really want men going on about their penises?

 

Funny how women using the word vagina is empowering but a man talking about his penis is sexual harassment.

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Response to dkf (Reply #1)

Tue Jun 19, 2012, 09:55 AM

2. my personal take is the woman was wrong. the appropriate word is uterus. she said vagina to make a

statement. but then, that would be the point. that just saying vagina and not "down there" is *gasp* worthy. and a grown man could not say the word in public. that is the point of absurd. men have been allowed to call their male parts by its name. women have not.

so it really is not the same

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Response to seabeyond (Reply #2)

Tue Jun 19, 2012, 09:58 AM

3. To get to the uterus with a ultrasound wand, the wand would

pass through the vagina...

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Response to boston bean (Reply #3)

Tue Jun 19, 2012, 10:02 AM

4. what i was reading was the bill they were talking and in the article

i looked pretty close to see if i found that in the bill. it was not in the article.

so, that was in the bill? then, she would be correct in her usage, but barely. but, that is invasive, unnecessary, unwarranted and only being done to shame and HURT, CAUSE PAIN, to a woman/girl. that makes no sense these people are not feeling shame that they want to cause pain to humiliate. torture? and i dont say that lightly, but what is it otherwise.

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Response to seabeyond (Reply #4)

Tue Jun 19, 2012, 10:04 AM

5. That article has got to be satire.

I cannot possibly be true.

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Response to boston bean (Reply #5)

Tue Jun 19, 2012, 10:09 AM

6. The OP is satire. The bill forcing a vaginal

ultrasound,unfortunately isn't.

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Response to sufrommich (Reply #6)

Tue Jun 19, 2012, 10:10 AM

7. right, so why would anyone object to someone using the word vagina or think it was wrong and should

have said uterus. When discussing transVaginal ultrasounds? It's not Uteral Ultrasound.

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Response to boston bean (Reply #7)

Tue Jun 19, 2012, 10:11 AM

9. again... the articles i read only discussed abortion. i looked for transvaginal ultrasounds

and had not seen it in any of the articles.

you corrected me. i wont be saying it anymore

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Response to boston bean (Reply #5)

Tue Jun 19, 2012, 10:10 AM

8. To that end, we propose

i am thinking.

The scourge of women being allowed to speak the word vagina in a legislative debate over what happens when women use their vaginas must be stopped. And if women are not capable of regulating their own word choice, the state should regulate it for them. To that end, we propose that the Michigan House promptly enact HB-5711(b)—a bill to regulate the use of the word vagina by females in mixed company.

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Response to seabeyond (Reply #8)

Wed Jun 20, 2012, 11:04 PM

11. I think I'm gonna start a fb thing

And post my status as Vagina. Ad ask my friends to do the same. Wat do y'all think of that idea? Use social media. I'd tweet if i had one a twitter account, but maybe people could do that, too.

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Response to seabeyond (Original post)

Wed Jun 20, 2012, 01:34 AM

10. Let's demand regulation of the word

 

Boehner.

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