Statistic of the Day: 1 in 5 American men admit to domestic violence

[sheshe2]

People are justifiably outraged by Ray Rice’s treatment of his then-fiancee Janay Palmer. But what’s even scarier is that one out of five men admit that they’ve committed domestic violence against a partner or spouse. A new nationally-representative study by the University of Michigan asked 500 men the following question:



Nineteen percent, or one out of five men, admitted to doing so at least once. And, of course, these were just the men who were willing to report it to the researchers, which means that the phenomenon is likely ever more common. The lead author of the study, Vijay Singh, explains, “If men could enter responses in a private way, (the percentage) could have been even higher.” The rate would also go up if it included other kinds of abuse: “It did not ask about emotional abuse. It did not ask about sexual abuse,” Singh said.

But even one out of five is unacceptably high. To put it in perspective, domestic violence is more common than diabetes.

Read More:http://feministing.com/2014/09/16/statistic-of-the-day-1-in-5-american-men-admit-to-domestic-violence/

Once during an argument with my husband, long ago ex, he became enraged and kicked a wooden stool, it flew over the table and hit me on the side of the head. I went down. Oh yes, the apologies followed.

Later my vision was blurred and I called my sister, she was a nurse. I told her I had fallen on the stairs and was concerned, she told me that he had to wake me every few hours to see if I had a concussion. Lucky for me I did not, yet I lied, I covered it up, I was embarrassed, I was ashamed.

I left him not long after that night.

[Agschmid]

1. I am an American man and I was abused by a partner.

I got out. It's not as easy to do as some think, and the abuse I dealt with never escalated, thank god.

Thanks for posting.

[sheshe2]

3. So glad that you got out, Agschmid.

Abuse should never be tolerated.

[Tumbulu]

2. Such a sad statistic......

I hope that we can crawl out of these destructive patterns.

[BlueJazz]

4. I suspect that, in the future, the science of brain chemistry and knowledge...and perhaps even..

...gene therapy will be able to completely change the future actions of someone who has a severe problem with the control of temper.

I don't mean with just pills or shots but the actual chemistry of the brain.

[YoungDemCA]

5. I reject the notion that men are innately, biologically driven to dominace and violence

At the very least, men cannot be reduced to just anger and violence.

[sheshe2]

6. Who said that here?

FYI. You are posting in a group, History of Feminism, not a forum.

[YoungDemCA]

8. The post I was responding to could be taken that way by some

Apologies for reading into it too much.

Also, my comment was meant as an attack on the anti-feminist notion that "Men are violent, because science/evo psych/biology tells us!" I think most violence is learned, not innate.

[boston bean]

11. I agree with youngdem.

violence is not a biological trait one cannot control. I think that is what he is getting at.

[BlueJazz]

7. Your words may very well be true. I was thinking that some men and women may be a lot more...

...prone to violence than the norm and it could be possible to reduce their destructive behavior through a more scientific means than
"Just take a pill"

My words are more of a hopeful scenario than a deep knowledge of human actions.
My schooling is physics which means, regarding human behavior, I wish I knew a lot more than what I've learned...so far.

[Agschmid]

12. I don't think it's about temper....

I think it's about control.

[BlueJazz]

13. Ah..Yes...your words are very true. I should have pointed that out.

I'm taking Oxycodone ...legally after surgery and not as sharp as I'd like to be.
Thanks for pointing that out (Control). Of course, it's what you do with your temper or irritation that matters.

[freshwest]

9. Thanks, Sheshe.

[sheshe2]

10. ...

[ismnotwasm]

14. That's horrible

I got hit by an old boyfriend--- thought he broke my nose. I went so ballistic his brother started packing. I have more of a 'fight' than flight in certain circumstances. There was blood everywhere.

I was young and didn't realize he could have pounded me to dirt, but I think he was surprised by my reaction. I also didn't call the police like I should have. He spent a lot of time calming me down, because I was loud and throwing shit.

Dated a lot of assholes after that, but never an abuser. At least not one that abused me.

[wryter2000]

15. My guess

He figured out he couldn't control you, so he switched from abusing you to calming you. Amazing how they can get control of their tempers when they want to, huh?

[sheshe2]

16. Yes it was as was yours.

Me too ism, I dated a lot of assholes after that. Always needy, always takers. Later I gave that up and have been happy on my own with trusted friends and family.

[ismnotwasm]

17. Exactly!

Everyone with one exception was a needy ass after that. Met my husband after I figured it all out (more or less) and we're 24 years strong

[sheshe2]

18. I give you a lot of credit, ism.

Brava.

And if I remember correctly you are a grand mom now. I have my grand niece and nephews and I love them dearly.

[KitSileya]

19. I posted this in GD.

Dunno how it'll go down, but I figure, I'd rather go out in a blaze.

There is something inherently wrong with our culture and the way men are raised in it which shows when these numbers are reported. Men aren't in themselves incapable of learning that women are human beings and deserving of the same respect they give other men. They are not incapable of learning to control their reactions - even these abusers do that, they carefully control when and on whom they use violence. Ray Rice has never hit his boss the way he hit his fiance. He didn't hit her on a casino floor or at a party, he waited until they were alone in an elevator. That means he knows how to not hit.

I refuse to think so little of men that I don't ask them to change our culture right alongside us. They are as capable of doing so as women, as feminists. To say that men are unable to control themselves, or unable to give up their privilege to make the world equal, now that is true misandry.