The so-called "double standard"

[BainsBane]

How many have heard misogynists complain that there is a double-standard, that if a man said the same thing a woman says about him something horrible would happen? So what would happen if a man mocked a woman? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Not only are they able to mock with impunity, they can insult and describe women as "sluts," "bitches," and "whores" with absolutely no repercussions, not even jury hides. Consider for a minute that the English language contains no similar insult for men. There is no gender specific term to insult a man's sexuality, to demean him as nothing but an object of sex, or to refer to him as less than human--a "bitch," a female dog.

Let's examine the true double standard. Look at the recent hide in this group for "misandry": a series of cartoons that make no mention of men as a whole, a particular group of DUers, or an individual member. Whereas calling women "attention whores" and "sluts" is allowed to stand. "Bitch" has become part of the common vernacular in English. The thoughtless tell us it means the words aren't sexist, when in fact it shows that misogyny is so deeply ingrained in American culture than too many are accustomed to cavalier, daily degradation of women.

The male persecution complex is entirely divorced from reality. It shows absolutely no understanding of history, anthropology, sociology, or any contemporary mode of analysis. Some decry the fact that feminists engage in "sociological analysis." Higher education is indeed a liberal conspiracy that might one day dislodge white male privilege. That is why education is crucial to empowerment. But some wedded to the past century--or even the 19th--prefer to avoid thinking altogether. How else could anyone so mindlessly maintain a view of the world--male exploitation at the hands of female privilege--entirely divorced from reality? This argument is the hallmark of extreme right-wing Men's Rights Association (MRA. or as I prefer to call them, MRAsma) dogma. Women's rights oppress men. Our efforts to achieve equality--whether political, economic, social, or cultural--are themselves seen as oppressive. MRAsmas see male privilege as entirely natural, so much so they see any challenge to it an attack on their very being, prompting them to lash out.

So yes, it's horrible that women's struggles have allowed us to participate in the public sphere, that we are able to enter the work force and earn 77 cents on the dollar to a man. It's economically unfair that many women use more medical resources than men and that agencies can't charge us more because our diabolical wombs give birth to babies. Somehow the fact that they are also the children of men entirely escapes the attention of those who whine about women taking up disproportionate medical resources. So yeah, "fuck every last one" of us. The hell with us for having the nerve to occupy the same planet with men and propagate the continuation of the human species. And mostly, fuck us for thinking we have the audacity to voice opinions. There is nothing MRAsmas hate more than women who disagree with them in public. The fact we think we deserve to be treated as actual human beings makes us "evil." The only good woman recognizes her inherent inferiority and doesn't let on the fact she reads or thinks. She lets you pretend you are actually smart because it's our job to prop up fragile egos. When we don't, we are "evil, dark, and whiny."

[seabeyond]

1. pick the bitch out of the litter. talking about our daughters for some dance or something.

a poster said.... parents pick the bitch out of the litter referring to our daughters. stands on du. no one batted an eye. i cannot get beyond anyone feeling that girls, who have done nothing, to anyone, deserves to be referred as the bitch in a litter.

this is an excellent post. i wish it mattered to those that could make a difference.

[niyad]

4. you are absolutely correct.

[chervilant]

2. Actually, "son of a bitch"

is another pejorative that targets women, on a par with "your mama" insults.

I find that the more vociferously a person (usually male) denies their sexism, the more sexist they tend to be. Straight to my IL they go!

[niyad]

8. you are correct. it never ceases to amaze me that sexist insults fall out of people's mouths

without the slightest thought about their actual meaning. and, when said meaning is pointed out, one gets a response along the lines of "you are too sensitive, too touchy. . whatever"

[chervilant]

16. O, yes! The old "you're

TOO SENSITIVE" meme! Those types are just swimming in their sea of sexism, and there's little hope they can get a clue.

[niyad]

3. k and r, and waiting for the usual in 3. . .2. . . 1. . .

[Tuesday Afternoon]

5. well then, Color me ::PROUD:: TO BE EVIL, DARK AND WHINY !! --

Last edited Wed Sep 25, 2013, 11:56 AM - Edit history (2)

and, while I am at it: GIVE ME MY OTHER 23 CENTS ON THE DOLLAR

edited in order to be PC and to realize just how pervasive it truly is.

[Manifestor_of_Light]

6. Female words with negative associations.

Unmarried person: Bachelor - Spinster

Married or mature person: Mister - Madam or Mistress
I'm not sure if "missus" is a real word or just a pronunciation of Mrs., which is technically Mistress.

I was married & divorced twice before, and did not change my last name, because I woke up one day and realized I was "Mrs. Asshole" even though I did not change my name.

I'm a slow learner.

[Manifestor_of_Light]

7. I'm a brazin' hussy.

Because I'm learning brazing in my welding class and brazing refers to brass.

As in "brass monkeys".

[niyad]

9. I wear all the pejorative names proudly--confuses the hell out of those who think they are insulting

me. as I have told several, "in order for me to be upset by that word, two things would have to be true: 1: I would actually have to regard the word you are using as an insult. 2: I would actually have to care about your opinion. TRUST ME, neither of those situations obtains". Usually leaves them scratching their. . . .

[BainsBane]

10. I'm not there

I guess I have been educated to think about the cultural meanings of words. Having done a fair bit of discourse analysis, I can't see these words outside their historical and cultural contexts.

[niyad]

11. I point out that many of these words were originally goddess titles, and therefore consider it

an honour to be called such. generally shuts them right up. but then, I am one cranky old bat, and really do NOT give a damn what they think, or call me.

[BainsBane]

12. Good for you

Goddess titles? Where did you read that?

BTW, pulled out the old remdi95 today. I was tempted to put it in the OP above as well but edited it out.

[niyad]

21. some in "the women's encyclopedia of myths and secrets" by barbara g. walker, an absolutely

AWESOME book (must be, because just like when marija gimbutas is cited, you can count on some guy popping up to discount them, their scholarship, etc. I always point out that they are discounted by the very people whose lack of scholarship when it comes to women was cited in the first place)



remdi95, unfortunately, seems to be greatly needed some days.

[ismnotwasm]

13. Feminists are activists

The double-standard "misandry" posse are fucking whiners. They make me tired.

[BainsBane]

14. I would think they'd make themselves tired

especially the ones who talk out of both sides of their mouth.

[BainsBane]

15. Does anyone know of any studies of MRA members?

I have the sense that they are overwhelming white since their ideology is based on reclaiming a past of unchallenged privilege, but I don't have actual data to support this. It does strike me as unlikely that most black men would identify women as the source of their problems. After all, they have real oppression to deal with. They don't need to invent a female enemy to whine about.

[redqueen]

20. I saw some demographics which indicated they are overwhelmingly white,

and mostly between the ages of something like 18-45. Not sure though, I'd have to find the source again.

[chervilant]

17. The 'recent hide'

you mention was hilarious! I had bookmarked it to read the comments later, and was stunned that it was hidden! I pm'd the author and noted that I hoped she would consider posting a weekly thread of feminist funnies, and I remain hopeful that she will.

Those poor widdle whiny boys will just have to add us to their IL, and get over themselves!

[BainsBane]

18. That would make too much sense

Who would they have to complain about destroying the site if they just put us on ignore?

That of course was the obvious response to the alerter. It was all about how the alerter hated the author so jurors should hide the OP. That's why ignore exists. They don't need to fester in hatred. They can just make the person disappear with the click of a button.

[redqueen]

19. Yes I hope to make it a more regular thing.

I've said before how important it is to me to include humor in feminist circles. So much of what we are discussing and raising awareness of and fighting is so dark and depressing. I think it is necessary.

[niyad]

22. many years ago (wayyy back in the 70's around IWY time) there was a wonderful book of feminist

humour called "knockers". each chapter was titled with a different slang for mammary glands, and it was absolutely hilarious. alas, my copy was lost years ago, and cannot even find it on amazon. I point out that feminists do, in fact, have senses of humour. it is just that we do not find misogyny, rape, woman-hatred, etc., funny.

[nomorenomore08]

23. I don't understand these guys' sense of persecution either.

Though it tells me quite clearly that they've never been truly discriminated against in their lives. Because if they had, they'd know what it looks like.

[BainsBane]

24. And they wouldn't feel compelled to invent greviances

That's why I feel pretty certain they are almost all white. What they are whining about is the fact that they don't have absolute, unchallenged privilege anymore.

[nomorenomore08]

25. People who invent "problems" because they have no real problems to speak of.

Like a more malevolent, adult version of 15-year-old emo kids...

[BainsBane]

26. I'm going with less mature

than the 15 yr old emo kids. I mean, at least they've got the real torment of adolescence.

[nomorenomore08]

27. Oh, I know exactly what you mean. I was a metal kid myself - used to snicker at the "emos"

pretty much...